Love does not exist

Thats right....i have come to the conclusion that love does not exist. I say this because if you look at the fail rate of marriage and every other relationship it is huge.

50% of all marriages fail.

I was arguing with a non-monogamous person on this subject. He was basically a person who had sex with many different people with there partners consent and she did as well.

He tryed to tell me that this was the way to go. That non-monogamy was a solution to the problems.

I countered that non-monogamy is not a solution. Nothing will ever be a solution because true love does not exist. Every relationship seems to fail down the road no matter what type it is

He countered telling me that monogamy was unrealistic and that the fail rate and high rates of extramarital sex(cheating) proves that.

I told him that non-monogamous relationships are unrealistic because people like him who advocate such a life style want to WISH jealousy and posssesivness away.

I also told him the average human being in the modern world would have many insecurities while living such a life style.

People would have practical problems with such a lifestyle. Such is 'is he/she having better sex with them then me?' and your partner riding off into the sun with the one who has better chemistry with she/he does with you.

I pointed out many studies that have shown that those living in non-monogamous relationships tend to have much more strain and it takes much more effort to keep such a releationship together. A effort and energy i and the average american was not willing to spend. And thats not even counting the insecurities and jealousy the average joe would go through.

Thats all not even counting the risk of pregnancy and STD.

Basically it went back and forth for a while until i brought up some studies and statistics that was done which showed that those living in such lifestyles tended to have a higher fail rate then those living in monogamous relationships.

It was during all of this that i had a epiphany. That humans are stuck between being animals and something more. The animal in us wants to have more and more sex with multiple people. but the MAN in us....the thing that makes us MORE wants....no CRAVES that 'soulmate' the love and intimacy of a monogamous relationship.

I have come to the conclusion that because we have been CURSED we as humans will never know true love that LASTS. We will never be a selfless species. We will never stop warring. We will never stop hating each other. We will never understand each other.

Because we have been cursed by something. we are half animal and half something MORE.

And someone cruel up there made it so we can have a TASTE of love.BUT IT NEVER LASTS.

But TRUE love that lasts will never exist for us....because we are STUCK. We are stuck between being ape...and being MAN.

Im sorry for ranting on here....its just i've become so depressed about my love life or lack there of.

I feel that i will never find any woman and any relationship i get in life will never last.

What is your thoughts? does love truly exist? and i dont mean affection or infatuation. i mean the love that can last a life time. can two people really stay together for all there life without cheating on each other?

If not what is the solution.....because non-monogamy will never work for me...sorry im a possessive person.

and before i get any of you whining about how i dont 'own' my non-existent lover....i got news for you...i do. The way i look at it....when you enter into a monogamous relationship you are claming that person as your own and vice versa. I may 'own her' but its mutual ownership because she owns me.

i disagree i love my kids very much. i am sure most people do. now lovin a mate is a different story.

reply to post by empireofpain

You are talking about love on a very superficial level and this is why it can only exist for a short period of time. Instead of loving a woman (“your“ gf) because of her beauty, purity, intelligence, just try loving these qualities, they’re all around you…
I swear I loved you briefly cuz your post made my smile )))

Neitzche - "Love is when a man decidedly chooses to see things as the are not".

And just ignore the other posters platitudes.

People get married for all the wrong reasons now a days

Love does exist and I was very bitter before about it, but I finally have it and it's an amazing thing.

I want to get married but to some marriage is nothing but a silly ceremony.

Love isn't measured only by married people either.

Of course love exists. We all love something or someone at one point or another. Our expectation of what love is might be highly skewed and incorrect, but love is definitely real.

Sounds like you've got a broken heart. Don't worry...it's a normal thing after being involved with someone. Let me reassure you...

Love Does Exist.

I have been married 3 times...and the 3rd one is the best and still going strong. I think what is missing is commitment. That is the hard part, and I too have failed in the past.

I never cheated, never hit or abused my wives, I didn't stay out all night or anything like that...basically, we fell into some challenging situations and were too immature to make it through together...

But I am in love with a women that has been my wife for 10 years now. And I do love her. She is not the beautiful cover girl I thought I wanted..had that in marriage 2...she is a little overweight...chunky, she is not always the most energetic, and very natural..as in no make up. But she is the sweetest and generous and forgiving woman I've ever known.

I am hard headed, stubborn, too often self righteous, very enrgetic and always driven to accomplish...home/farm/work. I have a bad temper...which she has tempered.

Why do we work? why are we still in love?

We are committed, accept each other as we are, and let the other person be who they want to be. Committment.

Sometimes I wish she would leave...and she wishes the same on me, but we get through it and stay committed to each other. Love and Marriage are not easy... it is hard work sometimes.

But in return, I have someone that doesn't condemn me, helps me, accepts me, stands by me...even when I'm wrong...and I her.

Do not be down on yourself or love...when the time is right, when you meet the right person...you will find love. It took me 3 times in 37 years to do so.

Romantic love? It might but I think it's pretty rare. Mostly what passes for it is a (temporary) chemical imbalance or psychosis that sometimes turns into a habit.

I blame Neil Simon movies for the American culture's inability to suffer through a marital commitment. That and the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan obliterate-a-bad-marriage tag-team. This crap makes women (and some men) believe that the "right one" is waiting to show up six months after the diviorce is final.

Love as an unexplained mystical feeling does not exist. Love as a result of chemical reactions within the body, however, does. It exists to help ensure the safety of the human species and keep us alive as long as possible.

Really depends on what type of love you're referring to.

Originally posted by NorEaster
I blame Neil Simon movies for the American culture's inability to suffer through a marital commitment. That and the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan obliterate-a-bad-marriage tag-team. This crap makes women (and some men) believe that the "right one" is waiting to show up six months after the diviorce is final.

I blame shows like the Bachelor and other dating shows on tv like Rock of Love and so on. These shows make a mockery of what love is. These people want fame and money, not love. I refuse to watch those shows.

reply to post by empireofpain

Love does not exist

because

fail rate of marriage

What does marriage have to do with love?

50% of all marriages fail.

Every relationship seems to fail

50% is not "every."

I told him that non-monogamous relationships are unrealistic because people like
him who advocate such a life style want to WISH jealousy and posssesivness away.

No, people who advocate such a lifestyle want lots of sex with lots of different people. If that is your goal, non-monogamous relations make sense. If it not your goal, non-monogamous relations might not make sense.

The animal in us wants to have more and more sex with multiple people

There's nothing wrong with that if it's really what you want. But if it's not what you want it's silly to pursue it. And it's equally silly to want it...but pretend that you don't and pursue something else.

What is your thoughts?

I think you're confusing many things that have very little relation to one another. It is possible to have sex with someone you're neither in love with nor married to. It's possible to marry someone you're not in love with and then not have sex with them. And it's possible to love someone you're not married to and don't have sex with.

These are different things.

Stop confusing them and maybe your problems will diminish.

what is the solution

There are many solutions.

'own' my non-existent lover

i do

I may 'own her' but its mutual ownership because she owns me.

Ok. That's fine. That's not love. But that's ok if that's what you want. Just find a girl who feels the same way. Be clear about what you want. Think about your friend advocating polygamy. He's probably very clear with people he meets that he wants sex. And he probably gets it. If he were to tell girls that he wanted eternal love and marriage, he'd attract exactly the kind of girls he doesn't want.

And that may be what you're doing. You don't want love. You want mutual ownership. So tell girls that you want mutual ownership, and maybe you'll start attracting girls who want that too.

'sniff sniff' I smell Disinfo . LOL

Love is all around, cant you feEl it ? !!

Originally posted by LordBucket
reply to post by empireofpain

 

Love does not exist

because

fail rate of marriage

What does marriage have to do with love?

50% of all marriages fail.

Every relationship seems to fail

50% is not "every."

I told him that non-monogamous relationships are unrealistic because people like
him who advocate such a life style want to WISH jealousy and posssesivness away.

No, people who advocate such a lifestyle want lots of sex with lots of different people. If that is your goal, non-monogamous relations make sense. If it not your goal, non-monogamous relations might not make sense.

The animal in us wants to have more and more sex with multiple people

There's nothing wrong with that if it's really what you want. But if it's not what you want it's silly to pursue it. And it's equally silly to want it...but pretend that you don't and pursue something else.

What is your thoughts?

I think you're confusing many things that have very little relation to one another. It is possible to have sex with someone you're neither in love with nor married to. It's possible to marry someone you're not in love with and then not have sex with them. And it's possible to love someone you're not married to and don't have sex with.

These are different things.

Stop confusing them and maybe your problems will diminish.

what is the solution

There are many solutions.

'own' my non-existent lover

i do

I may 'own her' but its mutual ownership because she owns me.

Ok. That's fine. That's not love. But that's ok if that's what you want. Just find a girl who feels the same way. Be clear about what you want. Think about your friend advocating polygamy. He's probably very clear with people he meets that he wants sex. And he probably gets it. If he were to tell girls that he wanted eternal love and marriage, he'd attract exactly the kind of girls he doesn't want.

And that may be what you're doing. You don't want love. You want mutual ownership. So tell girls that you want mutual ownership, and maybe you'll start attracting girls who want that too.

How is that not love? that i dont want her to have sex with dozens of different men? that i dont want to share her? I want a monogamous relationship......having sexual intercourse with multiple people is not monogamy.

I think YOUR confused. somehow because i equated monogamy as 'mutual ownership' that somehow cannot be love? thats bullcrap dude.

Whats YOUR definition of love?

and dont tell me what i do or dont want. i want love. i just find that the majority of relationships dont truly last.

I think i know what i want.I want a monogamous releationship.

Maybe i wrote the wrong words by saying 'mutual ownership' but is that not what monogamy is? People staking a claim on someone else? a agreement to only have sexual intercourse with that one person while the relationship is still active? To love only that person? is that not mutual ownership?

If you dont like monogamy....let your girlfriend screw other people. But dont assume to know what i want.

I REALLY want to know what your idea of love is. I wait barely holding in my excitement.

Because OBVIOUSLY i got it all wrong....you OBVIOUSLY know better then me on what love is. so please share with the class what love is.




[edit on 22-6-2010 by empireofpain]

[edit on 22-6-2010 by empireofpain]

I think love exists on many levels. When you love something or someone, you want to be around it, care for it, keep it safe. weather its family, husband/wife or your playstation/computer, phone, whatever, thats how you feel. it's there. Bad thing is people now arent raised like the good ol' times. That was love, you can find senior couples today who have been together over 50, 60, 70+ years, still going strong and IN LOVE. Today you'll be lucky to find a younger aged couple together almost 10 years.

Everyone is too busy being distracted by all the bs we have around us now, it seems to be the norm now

When two mature people know what they want and who they are and are determined, and commit years to it, they are usually the few with a success rate.

[edit on 22-6-2010 by WeBrooklyn]

reply to post by empireofpain


Love does not exist today, people just have there labido turned on most of the time.

Thats there problem, i stay away from it all and i am glad.

if love does not exists y i am in pain?


maybe its hard to find but its there somewhere

[edit on 22-6-2010 by heineken]

[edit on 22-6-2010 by heineken]

Originally posted by heineken
if love does not exists y i am in pain?


maybe its hard to find but its there somewhere

Its just selfish feelings, that you need to feel a high like chocolate eating.

Love is just a part of the mating ritual in humans. People fall in love because they like having, or want to have, sex with their partner. Thats what I think anyway.

Love in its other forms for friendship is a survival mechanism. Some people like to be feared and do bad things to get respect, others like to be loved and do charity to get respect.

reply to post by empireofpain


Hello empireofpain-

It isn't that love does not exist, its that humans are selfish and materialistic most of the time. For true love you must love the mind and not the body. Our problem is to many people marry for the body and once the body leaves you are only left with the mind. There is a small percentage of people who have found true love but very small. Make sure that the person you will be with has the same morals about things that you do. The only way to do that is to get to know the mind first. If you love the mind then nothing else should matter and you will be happy and have true love. If you kinda like the mind but love the body you will be unhappy for most of your life.