Marriage No Longer A Choice

You are right that marriage in the old way: signing a license to agree you love each other, is no prove of LOVE at all.

It's just a piece of paper that can have many consequences for both parties.

In history and even today, many marriages are agreements for other reasons then love. A marriage can give you money (a better financial situation), status, shelter (a house), care, kids or even better chances in life in general. On the other hand, a marriage can cleary rip you off of all these mostly material things. Not to mention the emotional damage a divorce can do. For some people a marriage can mean Freedom for others it's but a jail full of restrictions .....

More and more people in this day & age are getting married with a prenupt, a PMA (Prenuptial Marriage Agreement).

I also did, but only to secure everything I already had prior to my marriage, since my husband came in with nothing & having fin. problems. Have seen too much devestation coming from divorces too.

In my opinion true LOVE does not need a piece of paper for no one knows for a full 100% if they are able to love only one person for the rest of their life. It's ridiculous to expect from a young person to make such a choice!

Don't let anybody fool ya: A marriage is nothing more then an INTENTION to stay together, nothing more and nothing less. You simply agree to hike up together and team up in Life

Marriages (the paperwork) are constructions for lawyers and society and have nothing to do with true EMOTIONS.

I think it's quite healthy you question those people who would like to see you get married (in the future).

Enjoy Life and do not restrict yourself from growing freely as an individual.

[edit on 3/10/2010 by Melyanna Tengwesta]

You've been given some good advice and I've nothing to add really. I was quite the smart aleck in school and would've answered the teacher back with something like: I feel it would be more financially beneficial for me and my partner to form an S Corporation or LLC.

I would like to address the following thoughts from "joeofthemountain":

Now as to children, there is no greater blessing. Children are better than sex, better than money, better than the biggest oLED TV and the fanciest car. But they are also a tremendous responsibility, an awesome responsibility. We need more children and that's why your parents and teachers want you to marry - to have children.

What a shame that so many people refuse children in the name of their own selfishness. There is nothing more gratifying in my experience than looking down on a miniature version of yourself.

As someone who is CHILD FREE BY CHOICE I take extreme umbrage at these thoughts. Selfish, am I? But your gratification over your own personal Mini Me is NOT selfish???

There is nothing wrong with the CF choice.

And as far as how great kids are - I'd urge young people to go read some parenting boards. Notice how VERY MANY parents - if given the chance to do it all again - would NOT have kids. It ain't all sunshine and rainbows - spend 5 minutes on any parents board and you'll get the real story. Don't believe the Hollywood hype, advertising, and starry eyed people who happen to like family life. It is NOT for everyone - think this through very carefully because there are no 'do overs' with kids. You can't send them back.

reply to post by Whiffer Nippets


amen hahaha

Originally posted by chaseninja
Hello, names chase. I have a question for ats.




You see i am in highschool and it seems like every text book and teacher is trying to force marriage on me. Dont get me wrong i have nothing against married people my parents are, hell i might be one day. But i dont understand why you have to have a piece of paper prove you love someone. Not to mention the current divorce rate. Anyways today i got in a huge arguement with my health teacher when she tried to tell me that marriage would keep me from ever having a std. Now i just dont understand why school/gov./everyone is so big on forcing it on me. Also I am right in the arguement correct? (please excuse grammar typing on phone.) ~chase out

This is simply the school's idea of protecting you, the student, from a thing that may or may not happen to you. And you are quite right on the licence, in fact, this ides was originated in the Middle Ages when two Kings would join forces and lands by the marriage of their children, sanctioned by the Church, of course. This marriage was sealed with a contract, contract laws are almost older than dirt. Constitutionally speaking, you do not need a licence from the Stare to live together in harmony. My wife and I have done it for 6 years, and we do have a contract, but it is between her and I, and not her, I, and the State. A "License" is a permission slip to do something that would normally be unlawful. A "Marriage License" is a document that "allows" miscegenation (inter-racial [specie] marriages).

The licence with the State thing began after the Civil War. Prior to the 14th amendment, Blacks were seen in the eyes of the law as "different species" than white. Different Flesh. Sound absurd? Up into the 1960's, those favoring segregation, often made identical assertions -- including several high profile politicians who were recorded saying it! Because the law makers of so many states did not question such assertions, there came to be "laws" in place that made interracial marriages illegal -- under the premise that Blacks were not recognized w. the rights of Citizens' -- & that Blacks were not "men" in the same way as were "white-men". This belief was the fundamental assertion of the slave owner/trader. Legally, you can't own another human-being; -So the belief promoted was that black people weren't actual persons created in God's image with unalienable rights. With that lie conveniently accepted into the cultural psyche, the abomination of slavery in the United States was established. One abomination soon led to others...including miscegenation laws.

The Right to Marry

Common Law Marriage

Constitutional Topic: Marriage

I think we are all free to choose as we wish. The important thing is to be honest with yourself and whoever you are dating, otherwise the ending will be ugly.

Just want to add that marriage is not necessarily a religious thing, so please don't shy away from it simply because you're not religious. Other cultures that are not religious in the general sense have marriages also. It doesn't make it any more or less valid. It's a way to announce your life commitment, at least that's the intention.

IMHO the importance of marriage is a stability for your offsprings. Now before anyone gets upset with that sentence, I'm not saying that people who don't want children shouldn't get married. A couple who wants to remain childless can get married or not, and if the intention to stay together is the same under both options, the only difference is that you might get financial benefits.

Once you add children into the picture, you want to make sure your children have the most stability growing up. Kids tease (sometimes even adults), and getting bullied and called a bastard child simply because mom and dad don't need a piece of paper to show their commitment is kinda unnecessary, and, dare I say it, selfish. Just saying. That kind of damage is irreversible.

Originally posted by joeofthemountain
This is a terrible, ignorant and hateful thing to say.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

reply to post by ashanu90

 

thats not even close to ignorant terrible or hateful these however are;

"GOD HATES FAGS", "THANK GOD FOR AIDS", "FAGS DIE, GOD LAUGHS", "AIDS CURES FAGS", "FAGS BURN IN HELL", "FAGS DOOM NATIONS", "GOD GAVE FAGS UP", "THANK GOD FOR 9/11"

those are all statements made by pastor fred phelps

Marriage should, ideally, be about love.

I didn’t get married to meet social standards, or to have a lavish wedding, or because I was anxious to have sex within a religion that stresses for you to stay abstinent until you’re married.

My marriage has lasted; sadly some of my friends’ marriages weren’t so lucky, mainly because they got married for the wrong reason, like the above.

Then again I think love can last without marriage, marriage is just a more convenient route to go down when you’re sharing property, having children together, etc, etc, if you plan to stay together for life anyway.