Marriage No Longer A Choice

reply to post by Detailed Perfection


well thanks everybody for your imput. dont worry about me like i said im only 15 who knows where i will end up but i appreciate everyones concern

Originally posted by oppaperclip
Marrage can save you from an STD? LOL! If you can lock her in a basement. Your wife can cheat on you easily, especially if she feels, bored, alone, weepy, scared, vengeful, or a miriad of other things.

really?? seriously?! I have felt these emotions with someone and I didnt cheat... Feeling emotions doesnt mean you will cheat! You are making a very rude statement about women.

If she's like most girls today, she's probably been ridden more than the new york sub way. Never trust them girls or women, and be really weary of them if they will not tell you how many peopel they slept with.

WOW you have some serious issues when it comes to women it seems. You might want to change those views. Not all women sleep around like you seem to think.. Sounds to me like you were burned by a woman or possibly more than one. Why such a jaded sense of what women are like?!

Your best bet would be to go live in the east for a few years get a women with standards and come back to the west.

This is quite rude, sorry. Women in all parts of the world have morals and standards, maybe your own morals and standards are what keeps you from meeting the right one. Women in the East are no better than women in the East and vice versa.

Originally posted by chaseninja
Hello, names chase. I have a question for ats.

You see i am in highschool and it seems like every text book and teacher is trying to force marriage on me. Dont get me wrong i have nothing against married people my parents are, hell i might be one day. But i dont understand why you have to have a piece of paper prove you love someone. Not to mention the current divorce rate. Anyways today i got in a huge arguement with my health teacher when she tried to tell me that marriage would keep me from ever having a std. Now i just dont understand why school/gov./everyone is so big on forcing it on me. Also I am right in the arguement correct? (please excuse grammar typing on phone.) ~chase out

You've been given some very wise advice by people here.

But for the moment, bugger thoughts of marriage. Look after friendships instead. Find people with the sort of values you'd like to live by and be a friend to them. Care for people, be there when they need you, be compassionate. And be good to your Mom. If you can't treat your mother well you'll never make a decent husband.

The world is full of possibilities, and a lifelong loving marriage is one of them. As long as that's not something you want, then you haven't met the right person yet. Perhaps you never will, not everyone does. But it doesn't matter. There are so many things to do in this world that no-one can do all of them.

Sometime, lean back and shut your eyes and imagine you're an old fart in a rocking chair on your veranda, looking back on your life. Think about how your life will look from that point of view.

Looking back myself, I can tell you you'll want to have been places, done things, had all kinds of adventures and experiences, loved someone, and been kind to people. We all stuff up, but in the long run that doesn't matter. The point is to remember you own personal ideals and try and try again.

And when life gets tough, remember the Chinese curse, "may you life in interesting times," is not a curse at all, it's a blessing.

I can now look back on a life that was as tough as it gets, and I feel so blessed it was interesting and full of challenges.

Good luck hon.

This is a really important question - you are to be commended for asking it.

Matrimony (what we called marriage in the old times) is for the purpose of procreating and raising children.

If you do not want children, do not marry. If you want children, you really should.

Another common fallacy is that marriage is about "happiness" or other selfish desires.

Marriage is about children. Parents must make sacrifices and suffer heartache you can't imagine yet... and to get through that pain with an intact family, the institution of marriage was formed. It is the glue that keeps people striving together when, without it, one or both would just leave -- and leave their children with the mess, harming them forever in the process.

So there you go. Get married if you want children, do not marry if you do not.

Now as to children, there is no greater blessing. Children are better than sex, better than money, better than the biggest oLED TV and the fanciest car. But they are also a tremendous responsibility, an awesome responsibility. We need more children and that's why your parents and teachers want you to marry - to have children.

What a shame that so many people refuse children in the name of their own selfishness. There is nothing more gratifying in my experience than looking down on a miniature version of yourself.

Something to think about. Good luck to you.

reply to post by chaseninja

This is a terrible, ignorant and hateful thing to say.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

reply to post by ashanu90

People are not the elite warriors they paint themselves out to be, and waste there entire lives with some silent idea of revolution in the back of there minds.

Working on yourself is a lifelong project. Find a loving wife and kids and raise a healthy family - to me that is one of the few things that actually does change the world.

Well Ninja, I would like to hear you next year. How old are you?
Are you in love?
Do you have sisters?
I'm divorced, I used to think the same way.
It works for some.

SNC

I guess that's just the state approved, politically correct, way for your teacher to say that having intercourse with one person is a good way to prevent getting an STD so long as both people are faithful. And this works assuming that only married people have intercourse...

Just wrap it up and you'll be safe (well, about 99% safe). Don't get married if you dont want to... i think you are wrong, nobody is forcing you to ever get married.

You're a lot better off now with freedom to marry whomever you choose than you were several decades ago (or even today in some areas). Parents used to arrange marriages to political and economical interests... that's being forced to get married.

Long time reader of ATS, never posted a reply or a thread at all, but saw your post, wanted to chime in.

You're 15, and looking at it from the best possible perspective, your teacher was probably trying to tell you to stay within the bounds of your promises for your own future health and welfare.

There is a creator of the universe, who made things to work a certain way. God created us as male and female; we are also physical and spiritual.

What is "marriage"? Well, the sexual union between a man and woman is called "the marriage act" so in God's eyes, that is marriage. With that in mind, tons of people are "married" for only 20-30 minutes at a time and "divorce". Rinse, repeat. This kind of behavior is where STDs come from (many of which originated in animals - disgusting, I know). This FACT of what defines marriage to the creator is why homosexual "marriage" is a nonsense. It cannot be; the parts are wrong.

Legally, marriage is defined by the authorities in any given area. That's different. But as noted by others, there are real advantages to it (taxes, for one).

Now the crux of the matter. I bet you'd love to marry a virgin who has never "married" another man. Most guys would. Why should your prospective future wife not have the same honor, with your body. Just think. You are she and she is you. No others.

Therefore, keep to yourself (as millions have) until you choose a spouse, if you do. Difficult, but not impossible. My wife and I are proof of that, and it doesn't matter what our age is. It can be done.

The secret to a successful married life is this; each of you gives 100% to the other first and nothing to yourself, result: 100% good marriage. If you instead do the "worldling" view of married life and only give 50% and the wife only gives 50% the end result is Zero. I call it "God's math."

reply to post by snc24


nope im not in love i just thought it was weird how people try to force it on you so i thought id share and yes i have a sister

reply to post by oppaperclip


Are you serious? I doubt that I will be the only one to respond to your rubbish so brace yourself.

Can you tell me what it is about the male population that makes them so trustworthy and loyal in comparison females. Give me a break dude. You need to open your eyes and take a look at the world.

Men and women both cheat. It has nothing to do with their sex but everything to do with their character and morals.

reply to post by chaseninja

[Reply to the main post]

It just goes to show you how narrow-minded our society is and what a joke health classes are. I can sum up my health class in one sentence "If you have sex before you get married you will get pregnant, get an STD, and ruin your life. But if its after marriage everything will be just fine!" Okay, it was two sentences. But that pretty much sums up the message, i can't believe that some people actually took that drivel seriously. Getting married is up to the person/couple. It shouldn't be expected of you or feel pressured into it. That's probably the main reason for divorces.

[edit on 10-3-2010 by ItsAgentScully]

Originally posted by chaseninja
nope im not in love i just thought it was weird how people try to force it on you so i thought id share

...the best you can do when dealing with a teacher like that is to recognize that she's showing you who she is and its up to you to decide how much of the info she teaches is applicable to you... sometimes, the lesson the teacher is teaching is not what the teacher thinks she's teaching...

The teacher has an agenda or opinion obiviously that had nothing to do with sex ed or health. People are happily married or in a committed working "marriage" promote marriage intentionally or not. Generally most marry for love, security and break up for ultimately money and the next best deal. Teacher did not account for someone having an STD already or the cheating spouses as mentioned in previous posts. Don't get married until you have a life going. Have a house, car and 401K established. Go and kick a few tires. Then hopefully you will find a person you could love who makes and has about as much as you do, then consider marriage. Remember half of what you accumilate as a "married" contract couple goes with that spouse if the "marriage" fails. The longer you are married the worse the hit will be if you are not prepared. There is always an STD in a marriage it is called Divorce if you are not covered. So your teacher is really wrong.
The problem is family laws need to be revised. No Fault Divorce is really is not "No Fault". State Guidelines on Spousal Support are a joke. Take away alimony and you will see divorce rates fall. Probably see marriage fall as well. Child Support needs to be revised as well. The child rarely gets the real benefit of the money in the long run. Support payments often too high and really wind up making the custodial parent the benficary. I say 50 cents on every dollar paid should be put away and given to child when emanicipated in managed disbursement from a trust. You have a child then give them a future. Not the state, not the court, not the support free loading custodial parents should profit. Each parent pays in.

Family Law is a Billion dollar industry. Lives destroyed.

[edit on 10-3-2010 by bcarr]

[edit on 10-3-2010 by bcarr]

[edit on 10-3-2010 by bcarr]

reply to post by Wyn Hawks


haha very true

Originally posted by chaseninja
Hello, names chase. I have a question for ats.




You see i am in highschool and it seems like every text book and teacher is trying to force marriage on me. Dont get me wrong i have nothing against married people my parents are, hell i might be one day. But i dont understand why you have to have a piece of paper prove you love someone. Not to mention the current divorce rate. Anyways today i got in a huge arguement with my health teacher when she tried to tell me that marriage would keep me from ever having a std. Now i just dont understand why school/gov./everyone is so big on forcing it on me. Also I am right in the arguement correct? (please excuse grammar typing on phone.) ~chase out

If this is a public school, then the next time that instructor starts in on marriage, you look at her, and repsectfully tell her that you find the content of what she is teaching to be objectionable as it violates the seperation of Religion and state and that to continue to teach such will require that you seek legal action against her and the school district that could result in a court case. If this is a private or a religious institution, then you don't have a leg to stand on and just bite your tongue and say nothing. Telling her you have no opinion on the subject is often a good way to get out of having to discuss things you may or may not be interested in. I would also suggest talking to say the principle on the subject matter and explain how the topic is being presented looks religious in nature and that you are not comfortable with it.

Originally posted by joeofthemountain
This is a terrible, ignorant and hateful thing to say.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

reply to post by ashanu90

 

far worse things have been said

reply to post by chaseninja


damn, this sounds like a normal school wher it is?,

If you live here in the US, there is a lot of case law built around marriage.

If you are not going to have kids then I don't really care whether or not you're married.

If you're going to have children, you should look into marriage seriously. It protects both you and your spouse in the event that someone dies. If gives you rights to your children if your spouse dies or runs off.

It gives you defined property rights in case of divorce or death.

It should not define your relationship or impede your relationship if you are in love.

STDs do not respect the the institution of marriage.

reply to post by JayJayDee


its in wv