Email to Every Woman on ATS: Through a Rapists Eyes - BEWARE - *The Crying Baby*

reply to post by silo13


Starred and flagged, thank you for such a good, and informative post on something that is prevalent in our society. I have counselled women for a number of years, and the sad thing is, all whom I have spoken to in length report being raped, either as a child, or an adult. Some tell me of horrible relationships with men, of being beaten, and raped repeatedly by their husbands!

Our women are our Mothers, our sisters, and our Lovers. They are not meat to be processed.

Get a gun, learn to use the gun, carry the gun!

Thankfully I have never had an encounter with anyone trying to do me harm, but I am prepared if someone does.

I know I need to be proactive in my defence. I feel quit confidant that I could defend myself.

That said, the point made in the OP are vary valuable information. Knowing this information and being aware of your surroundings is important.

I will still carry a gun just in case.

reply to post by VAPatriot

While I am a big advocate of self-defense of all kinds (guns included), there is a problem with relying on a gun for self defense. The problem is that the attacker already has the element of surprise in his favor and catches you unaware. There is the tendency to freeze in that moment (however brief) that allows the attacker to further get the upper hand.

A gun is a bit of a "distance" weapon. You don't want to be in a death grip with someone and fumbling with a loaded gun, trying to work the safety, etc. You're just as likely to shoot yourself or have it taken away and used against you. A gun is more for "back OFF or suffer the consequences!". Hand to hand self-defense, imho, is better if you've already been grabbed.

Someone mentioned earlier about exuding an air of confidence and not looking like easy prey. My youngest daughter is very petite and waifish looking. Even though she's 20, she looks 12. She had 3 guys jump out of their car in broad daylight on a busy street and tried to nab her. She saw them coming and brandished her knife in the fighting stance I taught her. They got back in their car and drove away.

Having worked in a prison, I've been told by convicted rapists that it doesn't matter how big women look, they're still women and "look like targets BECAUSE they're women".


Since my daughter is so small and could easily be overpowered by almost any male in hand-to-hand combat, I taught her pressure points. I don't care how big they are or strong, even a moderate blow to a pressure point or target area (like the solar plexus) will buy you enough time to escape. Or to use your gun.

reply to post by whitewave


I am sorry to hear about the situation your daughter was in, and happy that you taught her well in defending herself. I don't disagree with most of your points.

I don't carry my gun in my purse. I carry in on my hip, ready to go at all times. It is usually concealed. I have been trained in its use. If someone grabbed me from behind, I feel confident that would be a really bad idea for them.

I have made sure my daugters are also armed and trained to defend themselves in many senarios.

Carring a gun in a purse is a bad idea. Your point about needing distance is true in that case. Therefor have it one you and ready to go. When you have been properly trained and have respect for the gun you can feel confident in your ability to defend yourself. (Even up close and personal) IMO

Some other basic self defense...

If you are grabbed round the neck from behind, the immediate reaction is to try and pry the hands away. Don't.

Turn your head and body in towards your assailant and at the same time duck your head down. This does two things - first it protects your throat and face, second it puts the hard part of your skull directly into the chest of your assailant giving you leverage to break the hold. If you ram your head up quickly in the process you'll more than likely break their nose as well.

Going for the groin is a luxury, because if you miss you get the thigh, and thigh muscles are strong. Go for the knee instead, preferably trying to kick it out backwards, or sideways. Ain't no one going to rape you if their knee is busted, because they won't be able to stand. The knee is easier to aim for and doesn't require as high a kick.

If you're down and dirty or knocked onto the ground, and you have any kind of heel on your shoe, you have a weapon if you can get to it. Stilletoes are particularly effective at puncturing the skin, and can crack bones as well. Whack one at full force into a thigh muscle, or arm. Results may vary but the pain will be astounding on the other end.

If you can get your hands under the chin of your assailant, strike their jaw with the base of your palm as hard as you can in an upward manner repeatedly and quickly. You'll put them off, possibly knock them out and/or break their jaw.

You have nails and teeth - he has eyes, ears and a nose. Any target is fair game.

Oh and fingers break suprisingly easily too.

And as someone pointed out - you have a voice. Use it, all the time, be as shrill and loud as you can be.

reply to post by silo13


Great info... but why is this thread titled "Crying Baby?"

That part I don't get...

I have a strange outlook on this, what popped into my head was;

Is a rapist going to go "Oh there is nobody around with the hairstyle I go for, I guess I'll stop raping..."

I doubt it, aren't they going to find someone, somewhere, and keep doing it? So aren't you really telling women how to pass off the misery to someone else? A "better her than me" attitude?

If I were a woman, I wouldn't change anything about my appearance or demeanor that might be deemed "attractive" to rapists. I would put pepper spray and a whistle on my keychain, and take self-defense courses.

Originally posted by whitewave
[...]
It's not about "sex"; it's about power and control. Ladies, you have the power. Take control of your lives and fight with all you've got.

S&F.

While I am not a rapist myself, I find it hard to believe it is mainly about power and control. Those seem likely factors, but wouldn't simply physically abusing another person and kidnapping them be enough to satisfy the need for power and control? I think there is a factor of resentment and punishing the victim while gaining sexual gratification. But I agree that to say "it is about sex" is an oversimplification.

Originally posted by maus80
[...]
If I were a woman, I wouldn't change anything about my appearance or demeanor that might be deemed "attractive" to rapists. I would put pepper spray and a whistle on my keychain, and take self-defense courses.

I agree with the part about arming themselves with pepper spray and taking self-defence courses. I think a small baton would be better than a whistle. Whistles are difficult to use in situations where you panic. Better to be over-prepared than under-prepared for a situation like that.

There is no excuse for raping another human being and it is unacceptable behaviour in a civilised society. Steps can be taken though to decease the chance of rape occurring and I think encouraging women to be more cautious is always a good thing.

[edit on 1/10/2009 by Dark Ghost]

Thanks for this post! I am going to print this out and post in the dressing room at work! I work in a bar and getting out at 2am can be a little freaky trust me. I get spooked when driving esp if I have to stop at the store.
About 3 months ago I had to have an escort out of Wal-Mart. I had some really CREEPY guy follow me around for about 40 mins. I went from one end of the store to the other and just watched him out of the corner of my eye. He was always behind me and if he didnt see me he looked around for me. I was hiding behind the cards and could see him looking around for me. I walked out like I didnt notice him and he walked past me and the turned at the first aisle and then peeked out the side looking to see where I went. Within in a min he was behind me again. He had 3 items in his cart: bread, bologna and Lays chips! At this point I was freaking out and on the phone with my friend not wanting to leave the store! I went to the checkout and started to freak out since he was right behind me. I told the lady I felt he was following me and I was almost in tears honestly, i was shaking too. It really freaked me out! The lady got a manager and I think he overheard me telling them because he turned around and left pretty fast. The manager told me that she would have someone walk me out and make sure he was gone. She also told me this happens more you would think in there! I was like WTF!! I have NEVER had anything like that happen and if I saw that guy today i would know it was him and this time I would probably confront him. When he was following me I was thinking of ramming his cart and asking what he wanted but I was too freaked out by it and he was very creepy looking, he could have been Mansons twin I swear...So I was walked out by a kind younger employee to this day who always makes sure I am ok while in there. I didnt go to Wal-Mart for over a week and if you knew me you know I am there almost everyday. I went to another store by work so I wouldnt have to go in there. Now when I am in there I am looking around at people and its freaky!
I do have pepper spray and mace, one in my car and one on my key chain. I think I also have one in my center console as well. After the day I had at Wally world I always have my pepper spray ready when walking out but its not obvious. I am there late at night and the parking lot is empty and I usually have someone watch me leave and get in my car. They see me there every night so they are always very nice to make sure I am safe when getting to my car at 2am!
S&F! Thanks for the pointers I will be passing this on!

reply to post by HunkaHunka

Great info... but why is this thread titled "Crying Baby?"

The *Crying Baby* part (at the end of the thread) is what prodded me into posting this here on ATS.

Wannabe rapists/thieves/kidnappers and bad guys in general will use any tactic to *get you*.

One way I'd never heard of is recording the cry of a baby (I added in puppy and kitten) and playing this recoding outside the door of the targets home/apartment.

I'd never heard this before.

Even that it's an urban legend, now that it's gone viral over the web, I'm sure some freak is going to try to use the ploy, for real, so, I wanted to post the information just in case there were people who'd not heard this before.

Thanks for your post - it gave me a chance to go over the reason for the thread yet again - something I always like to do!



[edit on 1-10-2009 by silo13]

Another weapon women are able to use is your heels! I am always in stilettos, I like to dress up and I swear those would be the first things I grabbed if the pepper spray didnt work. A heel is a weapon! I had a girl I worked with years ago who used her heel to stop an attacker at her car. She put holes in his side from the heel. So ladies use what you have on your feet if they have a heel, go for the eyes or the groin.

reply to post by maus80

If I were a woman, I wouldn't change anything about my appearance or demeanor that might be deemed "attractive" to rapists. I would put pepper spray and a whistle on my keychain, and take self-defense courses.

This list of *what a Rapists looks for* purportedly came from interviews with actual convicted rapists.

Having said that, I wouldn’t change anything about my appearance either as it would make me feel like a victim before a crime.

But there are points made in the OP I find incredibly valuable.

So I still find the information important enough to pass on and if it does a little good, then it’s all good.

Thanks so much for the information. I know that I take for granted that I will always be safe, but one never knows, so I am glad that I have this information.

(Honey, will you get me a gun? )

reply to post by mblahnikluver
See, your whole post talks about being aware - and that is just fantastic!
I am SO GLAD you spoke up and got an escort to your car instead of *poo poo-ing* your innate sense of what's good for you!

The only thing I’d want to point out?

The guy who might be out there to *get you*?

He might look like prince charming, not a Manson twin, so ladies, keep those *women senses* and *women’s intuitions* going strong!

Thanks so much for your post.

I mean, do you realize in the sharing you’ve just done you might save a woman’s life?

Now THAT is incredible!

peace

I have a few sisters and no brothers so seeing advice for female protection is a great thing. I think it was all very prudent advice, and gets women to not be paranoid of men but aware that there are evil men out there. There is no reason for a man to approach a woman on the streets at night, and if he does so he should not be suprised by the mace or nails defence.
I saw on Oprah (thats right) about these woman who would wake up and there would be a stranger in their room, or a predator, etc. They said they acted calmly and dominatly and forcefully said, NO you cannot be in here and a couple of them walked out the room and the perp would follow and leave the house. Woman have inheritantly been able to control men with firm and precise instructions, it is bred into us as a species.
It is my sincerest hope that no woman who reads this thread has to use any of the tactics advised, if they do they now have some knowledgable ways to defend themsleves and i thank the author for that.

reply to post by silo13


Oh I totally agree, it is great information, and something everyone who is not a rapist should spend time researching.

The only thing I thought was missing was a keychain whistle. Every woman in my family carries one, and it has saved my sister from attack.

reply to post by silo13


What a great point, the information here may save a life. Maybe not directly to an ATS'er, maybe said ATS'er tells a friend of some crazy self defence things she's heard. That friend tells a friend and it continues, the information has been put out there and it may save a persons life!! That is an amazing thing!
I think you have accomplished your good deed for Thursday!!!

Good post! I have heard all this information over and over again, but it is always good to hear and refresh my memory! I will be passing this on to the woman in my life!

reply to post by Victoria 1

Yep.

It's like what Maus80 said:

The only thing I thought was missing was a key-chain whistle. Every woman in my family carries one, and it has saved my sister from attack.

It's posts like these we can learn from.

Can you even imagine - now thanks to Maus (and I mean that THANK YOU MAUS) there might be one of us out there who picks up one of these key-chain things, and, she (he?) might live.

It's humbling, and SO ABSOLUTELY EMPOWERING at once!

*HIGH FIVE ATS'ers!!!*

EDIT

Using a tennis ball to open a locked car is myth.

Boo. It looked so cool...

Please see post by Morbo the Annihilator hereif you’re curious about his *myth busting*...

Thank you again Morbo!

[edit on 1-10-2009 by silo13]