A Little Help For Men Trying To Understand Women!

Good stuff all, thanks, I enjoyed reading it.

Could I get one of those brewski's while your at it?

I have done that thing with the toilet seat up to myself, so I understand, but really the lid should also go down, so nothing gets dropped or bumped and winds up in the wrong place.

I think relationships are harder now days because the whole balance has been thrown off because women these days do not have to rely on a man to support them. In the past, women were for the most part dependent on men for survival, especially if they had kids. Now that they are not, the whole arrangement has been thrown out of whack. There is a growing trend where the wife has the high powered career, and hubby stays home and takes care of the house and the kids. At least the man can do home repairs and automotive maintenance, as well cooking and cleaning. Laundry might be a problem.

This has complicated relationships, and our generation is having to work out this new change in the dynamic. Some people are lucky, they find that one person and stay married their whole life, and I envy them. Most of the rest of us lead more complicated lives, and are not so lucky. Here, we are a bunch of people who hang out on a conspiracy site, soooo.

Still, why throw in the towel. What fun is that? Learn from your failures, and get back in the game when you get the chance. Keep enjoying life, and leave the possibilities open.

I would say more, but I seem to get myself into trouble when I do.

reply to post by poet1b

Could I get one of those brewski's while your at it?

I just sat down

(sigh)

:-)

Here's some decent advice for men and women alike.

When considering spending time with another person always consider the ...

I can be perfectly miserable without you premise.

Meaning that if the presence of the other person doesn't add to one's peace and joy, then there's really no point. God forbid they actually add to the misery.

Point is, I don't need "you" to be unhappy.

[edit on 24 Aug 2009 by schrodingers dog]

reply to post by poet1b


Awww come on spill the beans! Whats a little trouble now and then amongst friends!!

reply to post by schrodingers dog


That is very true! Such a simple thing and yet I have never thought of it....gives one pause!

Well, does anyone need one while I am up.

I got an extreme violation on BTS on a thread that was about s e x., so I only need my hand slapped once.

reply to post by poet1b


I'll take one! Thanks for asking!


I am sure there is a fine line when discussing that topic!

Well there are always going to be good times and bad times. It is nice when you can enjoy the good times and help each other out in the bad times.

In the past people where basically forced to do this, because they couldn't survive without each other. Now days it is too easy to bail, or get stubborn and ignore the consequences.

The best way I've ever heard it described:

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
And in a place like this
I'll get away with it

Depeche Mode - Somebody

reply to post by Greenize


The other problem is you seem to think I have *always* been this way. I wasn't. I believed all you've been saying, until I got hurt and treated like I said was enough that I just simply can no longer cope. I loved one woman so much, I'd have broken the planet in half with my bare hands for her. She did exactly what all the others did. Every last bit of my feelings, love, EVERYTHING basically *#* on. There was no DOUBT she knew how I felt.

It's been a long road and a very long decline to the place I am now. Don't think I just woke up one day and said "hey! I think I'll hate myself today!". Everything that made me - me has been leeched, pulled, and bled from me.

There's no reason to be happy, or 'feel loved'. Every last bit of reason is dead and going to have a nice funeral and a nice wake. I've been treated like trash for too long, called ugly too long, inadequate too long. I'm a broken human, and there's no way to fix me. And I am certainly tired of trying to do so someone else can come along and break me.

reply to post by wylekat


I never assumed you had been this way forever. I understand that you have been hurt and deeply. All this talk of short life and funerals is not doing you any good. You need to get some new thoughts. Be glad that you are alive and that you can feel. We all suffer pain in this life... You can't give up! My sister just divorced after 26 years of marriage... her husband never stopped dating... she is hurt, she calls me crying everyday and it his been almost a year since everything was finalized. I am here for her, to comfort her and support her, but I also do not allow her to wallow in self pity. It isn't healthy and it solves nothing. She always thanks me later even though at the time she thinks I am being harsh! Stand up, dust yourself off and take YOUR life by the reins. Decide what you want and go and get it! Be honest... have these thoughts produced anything useful for you??

reply to post by wylekat


You're young, even if you don't think you are.

Time heals all wounds.

Work on finding something else to obsess about.
This is the hard part to admit as well as to do.

Once you find that new spark of life, about anything you enjoy, that you find yourself obsessing over, you will once again be on your way.

Till then, avoid absolutions.

It has worked for me.

Most of us wind up going through these things, many, more than once.

What does not kill you makes you stronger.

Originally posted by Greenize
reply to post by Wyn Hawks

 

While the advice is great, its also not that easy financially for every one to say " Oh I am getting a lawyer and a therapist"... I wish that were not the case, but it is the truth.

...the trick is you dont say it - you do it... ...theres lawyers and therapists who will take payments... theres community assistance programs that offer free counseling to abused spouses... divorce isnt emotionally easy (usually), so why should difficult finances matter, especially if your kids are being damaged?...

Originally posted by Spiramirabilis
I keep thinking about all the stuff we could be talking about
like why women hate wet towels on the bathroom floor
you know - useful information
:-)

...wet towels on the bathroom floor doesnt bother this woman cuz thats where i throw mine... so, its not a woman thang... its a "some people" thang...

...i have issues with re-using a towel... thats a nasty habit left over from the days when we didnt have washing machines and dryers... when you dry off, thousands of dead skin cells are on your towel - and - creepy things like to bloom in humid areas like bathrooms... hanging it up, so you can re-use it guarantees that you are drying off the next time with a dirty bacteria laded towel... besides all that, i aint drying my face or my poo-dee-poo with a towel that has wiped a butt crack - thats just WRONG!...

I will thank you all again for all the responses to my question.. I guess my response to all of you will be a series of answers too.

I will always be a hopeless romantic. I like it. I want that awesome heart-pumping-stay-til-you're-84-years-old type of love or none at all. I don't want to research women. If I need to figure out my way into their heads, they aren't the girl for me.

You know, I don't think there's necessarily a girl who only cares about money or love. I just think there are some who have priorities between the two that vary. I know for a fact I know a lot of them. My question was, when is it too much, or is it ever too much?

There will never be a game, nor a set of rules. I've met women who could completely shut off emotion, and I've known girls that were nothing but.

I guess, the real answer to myself.. Is there is no real answer. People need very specific things to be 100% happy and sometimes it just doesn't get timed right.

Could I live a long life with no love? No..

Could I live a short life with lots of it? As of my turning a 1/4 century, I think I could deal with that.

Originally posted by SantaClaus
I guess, the real answer to myself.. Is there is no real answer. People need very specific things to be 100% happy and sometimes it just doesn't get timed right.

This is a big part of the problems we see with men and women. People THINK they NEED THINGS to MAKE them happy.

That is a false belief. Nothing makes us happy, we feel joy from the inside which cannot be given to us by anyone or anything.

You can easily CHOOSE to be happy in every moment. It all depends on where you place your Attention. Most place it on Lack, Desires and Beliefs instead of on Now and being happy.

reply to post by Tayesin


And I truly believe people can be 100% happy alone, but not me.

Alone is where I find happiness, but I find something so innately interesting about other people that all I want to do is study them.

Through this, I find the need to be loved. I love to be alone, but being with someone who reacts to you just the way your own body would is a feeling that just is indescribable.

I'm beginning to think there are some people unable to be in relationships.

And I don't know anyone who can respond to this, but having that cohesiveness is unreal. It makes even the arguments enjoyable.

For 5 years of my life, I was in sync with a person who was entirely different from me. I mean, emotionally, creatively, professionally a 180 degree specimen. To be that in tune with a person who was so different was life altering.

And I probably will always love here. But I don't need someone like me, and I don't need a financial equal.

Dunno, still waiting on that "too good to be true" story, because I do think can make what we want happen.

I love the dynamic, and I don't choose to live without it for long. But if it must be, well then I don't mind.

All these rules make me sadder more than happy. I hope there are still some who are just so dedicated to one another that they can't stand it. I love a good argument!

Originally posted by Greenize
reply to post by Spiramirabilis

 

Exactly, and how very disturbing it is to get up in the middle of the night and fall into the toilet because the seat wasn't lowered!! Nothing is more shocking and blood boiling!!!

[edit on 24-8-2009 by Greenize]

Hehehe...I've done that a few times myself. My girlfriends, sister, and mom all can't believe that I don't make my guy put the toilet seat down. I tell them that he made a good argument.

Mine was that it's gross to have to always touch the toilet seat and also the falling in thing. He said he has to touch it too to lower it and he might forget to lift it an pee all over the seat in the middle of the night.

I called truce.

reply to post by Phenomium


Anyone can find equally hateful quotes made by men about women. There's a certain breed of men that should be stopped too.

Better yet, there's a certain breed of PEOPLE that need to be stopped and it's those who get off on bringing misery on others and go out of their way to dehumanize others. There's men AND women who do those things.

another get laid for dummies...