A Little Help For Men Trying To Understand Women!

reply to post by schrodingers dog


Another thing to think about is whether or not you could literally live on the streets with who your with and whether or not you think they could stick out the same with you. Now that's love.

I could easily be homeless living under a cardboard box next to the stinkiest dumpster with my guy. When I think about my previous others, there's no way i could have stuck it out with them.

Originally posted by Phenomium
Despite what the feminist controlled media says, the real truth is that the feminist movement is a Marxist/Communist movement that was invented by the ideals of a one Karl Marx (notorious Communist)

Feminism traces its roots back to Karl Marx, George Engels, and Vladimir Lenin

(coincidentally when many were susceptible to radical forms of ideals because of mind alternating drugs such as '___')

Another link by oprah saying Jesus is NOT the only way

Boy do you make it sound like communism, Lenin, '___' and Oprah are evil! You dont really believe that, do you..? Lenin is one of my greatest heroes... people too often equate him with Stalin who was totalitarian not communist. And Oprah spreading tolerance... what a bitch...
You need to understand too that believing in Christ is not nearly as important as following Christ (ie in his path) and that is precisely what he preached.
The Synagogue of Satan? Well that is organised religion my friend religion is God + a lot of unneccessary traditions of man. Without the traditions all that leaves is God that is all you need

Originally posted by wylekat
reply to post by schrodingers dog

 

Once is bad, but on a constant basis? It's one of the reasons I went on the bent I have been on. It not only does the obvious, it frustrates me no end.

I am someone who knows something about probability, and a 100% failure rate is something that boggles. I have seen things that defy any rational explanation. I have been treated with such contempt just because of my looks, and lack of money, it's incredible.

A little heartbreak is one thing. I cant find many who get treated like I have. No one I have talked to have answers. Everyone- including me is as mystified as one can be. I've gotten to the point where I just simply do not care. It's an unsolvable problem, or a prison sentence/ punishment, or the universe/ whoever's in charge/ God hates me with a passion.

Ah I went/am going through the exact thing you did. I have had 3 major relationships, and all end in cheating with no real explanation... end with crying and begging but I just never could bring myself to forgive (at least long run).

Life is all about balance some within, some without, without being there are people in life who are given everything and have power, people given everything and squander it, people with nothing who create power, and people with nothing and no power. And then there all the people who lose it. You may just be unlucky.

You need to not think of yourself as a casualty I know because I did but rather think of yourself as just needing to try extra hard, make every accomplishment a success, you know when nothing fails, nothing is special! But then when everything fails, the slightest success make you smile!

You cant give up. You should read into Sun Tzu's the Art of War, the Bible, and Norse mythology. My culture is all about persistence and accepting fate. All the gods are doomed to die as is mortal man, but they all strive to hold back evil as long as possible, knowing they will eventually fail. Even the damned must live on and dont complain, they accept. Accept what happened to you and press on. There is no victory over a man who has victory over himself.

This relates to Job in the Bible. He was a man with everything, loving family, beautiful home, all kinds of slaves and riches and animals. And he loses it all due to Gods bet with Satan. What a silly reason. God is proud of him for being so righteous. Satan contends that he is only so because God has bless him. The bet is that Job will despise God once these things are taken from him. You will just have to read for the end

And I believe it was Sun Tzu who said 'fools go to war expecting to win; warriors win first and then go to war'.

You cant just expect life to be wonderful, it doesnt play by your rules, you play by its, learn to stop caring about the little things and no matter what learn from every experience... there is some evil in all good and some good in all evil!

reply to post by wylekat


I'm going to give you different perspective here...

I was with a guy that he let me boss him around all the time. I didn't even realize what was going on until my mom said once, "You guys have a great relationship because he needs someone to tell him what to do and you like telling someone what to do." I told her she was wrong that I actually don't like that at all. And it opened my eyes to what was going on I had never had another person give their perception of our relationship. An outside-looking-in perspective.

From that day it just got worse and worse, then one day I told him, "I'm not your mom, I'm your girlfriend so I can't do everything for you all the time." Then he said, "Well maybe I need someone to be like my mom". (His mom was a stay at home mom who cleaned his room FOR HIM, did his laundry, cooked every meal, prepared every snack, etc). That was kind of the last straw for me.

I also realized that there were times where I really needed him to stand up for me (such as blatant verbal abuse by friends and my sister's boyfriend) and he never, ever once said a word. I even begged him to do it once and he refused.

After 5 years I left him. And I didn't go about it in a good way at all. I was a coward and did something that gave me a reason to leave him because other than what I've said, we got along just fine and there were no other problems. I'm probably the girl you'd love to hate, Wyle, but believe me, I'm NOT that kind of girl.

Just like you have said about your relationship, he told me that he would do ANYTHING to get me to come back to him. But after being apart from him I really realized we had nothing in common. I couldn't even talk about ANYTHING with him. It was always a one sided conversation. I was not even attracted to him anymore even though he was a good looking guy.

Now, I'm not saying any of what I did was excusable. In fact, I hate myself for what I did. I honestly have trouble sleeping now and again when I think about it and it's been about 3 years. But I couldn't be in a relationship that wasn't giving me what I needed. I realized I stayed so long out of convenience and fear that I wouldn't even find anyone as good as him. Because he WAS good guy through and through. And guys like that are very hard to come by.

But, not only did I find someone as good as him, I also found someone who gave me everything that was lacking before. And to be honest, I bet my ex is way better off without me. I bet he's found someone whose willing to be the girl that I just couldn't be. Someone who had to control every aspect of his life. And that wasn't even just how I saw him. I learned after we broke up that everyone realized that's how he was and that's why they figured we were together and they thought we had a great relationship because of it.

They were shocked when they learned that not only did I not see what was going on, but that it wasn't how I wanted our relationship to be.

I bet he hates me like you do her, but I'd also be willing to bet that he's happy that I did leave because now he's happily remarried.

reply to post by SantaClaus

I guess, the real answer to myself.. Is there is no real answer. People need very specific things to be 100% happy and sometimes it just doesn't get timed right.

I love that

that's how I see it too - it doesn't always fix things - or make you feel any better

but it helps to make sense of things - sometimes that's all I need is for things to make sense :-)

it's not so much about people being good or bad - or even right or wrong

but each of us, if we're honest, needs certain things to make things feel right - make them work

sometimes the mix of needs - and the timing - just doesn't work out

Could I live a long life with no love? No..

Could I live a short life with lots of it? As of my turning a 1/4 century, I think I could deal with that.

in another quarter of a century - you will probably say the exact same thing

:-)

reply to post by Wyn Hawks

...wet towels on the bathroom floor doesnt bother this woman cuz thats where i throw mine... so, its not a woman thang... its a "some people" thang...

:-)

exactly

I have to confess - I love this kind of thread - this type of subject - to death

I know it's ridiculous - but the weird little things people do - their habits - the things they insist are right or wrong - love it all

the wet towels - the whole toilette seat issue - toothpaste tube squeezing debates -

all of it

when you throw in the differences - or similarities between the genders - even better

maybe I'm just simple - but I love to hear what makes people tick

...i have issues with re-using a towel... thats a nasty habit left over from the days when we didnt have washing machines and dryers... when you dry off, thousands of dead skin cells are on your towel - and - creepy things like to bloom in humid areas like bathrooms... hanging it up, so you can re-use it guarantees that you are drying off the next time with a dirty bacteria laded towel... besides all that, i aint drying my face or my poo-dee-poo with a towel that has wiped a butt crack - thats just WRONG!...

lol

and this is just a perfect example

I so understand this

but here's the thing...

they're wet

and they're on the floor

you see the problem?

:-)

reply to post by nunya13

I bet he hates me like you do her, but I'd also be willing to bet that he's happy that I did leave because now he's happily remarried.

sometimes staying out of kindness - or a desire to not hurt someone - ends up being the cruelest thing of all

it's hard to see when you're in it

there's is no pain-free way to end a relationship - and more often than not it does end up being the cowardly way, the lazy way - the wrong way - no matter how you look at it

no matter how you look at it - it seems mean

but the honest and direct way is just as hard - and just as cruel

most people have been on both sides of this story - not all - but most

he may have hated you - maybe still does - but you did the best you could do, and we all learn from our mistakes - we all learn not to do certain things the same way again

I hope you do feel better about it now



[edit on 8/25/2009 by Spiramirabilis]

Originally posted by Spiramirabilis
reply to post by Wyn Hawks

 

the wet towels - the whole toilette seat issue - toothpaste tube squeezing debates -

We have separate bathrooms ... not that I don't get hassled about the state of mine mind you. lol

In fact a couple of times a week we sleep in separate rooms just cause we can.

It actually makes a huge difference.

reply to post by schrodingers dog


so much to say...

:-)

We have separate bathrooms ... not that I don't get hassled about the state of mine mind you. lol

oh - if I ever lived in the magical separate bathroom situation - I can honestly say - I would never even look - because what I don't know can't make me crazy

mind you - I am not a neat freak

but we all have our stuff - don't we? :-)

In fact a couple of times a week we sleep in separate rooms just cause we can.

It actually makes a huge difference.

especially if one of you is someone who doesn't sleep :-)

a complicated discussion that not everyone can relate to - but I completely understand

reply to post by platipus


Obviously you didn't take time to read much of the thread!

reply to post by Spiramirabilis

but here's the thing...
they're wet
and they're on the floor
you see the problem?

...your floor complains?... must be that alien laminate stuff (shiver)... solution: tile...

reply to post by Spiramirabilis


100% happy, completely contentment is like dessert, it is great, a fabulous thing to enjoy, but you can't live off of dessert. You can only be blissfully happy for a short period of time, and then you have to get back to eating vegetables.

We are biologically wired for conflicts. Struggle is inherent to our nature, and that goes for relationships as well.

Funny thing while looking up spelling.

Desert - Abandon with out intent of returning.

Dessert- A sweet dish served at the end of a meal.

How did that evolve in language?

reply to post by nunya13


Great concept, wish I could give you more than one star on this post.

This might be a perfect way of determining whether or not to involve your heart. Would this person still be your partner if you were homeless, living on the street without anything but what you are able to bring with you?

The heart wants to fall for the sweet, sweet treats, those short hot blissful relationships, but the heart is fickle, and the brain, and gut instincts need to have their vote. Only then should you allow your heart to have its way.

reply to post by poet1b

You can only be blissfully happy for a short period of time, and then you have to get back to eating vegetables.

I likes me vegetables

:-)

but I know what you mean

happiness is elusive - you have to be willing to stop everything and pay attention to it while it's present - then be willing to let it go on it's way

you can't hold on to it

reply to post by Wyn Hawks


:-)

tile does help

but, wet towels - on the floor...

maybe it comes down to - how long on the floor?

Ha Ha.. this thread is great.... it is totally insane

Yes I have to agree that there's always time to hold each other and that is best time to communicate as well. But not too long or you will be broke and will starve to death
Never keep investing in a negative relationship if there is poor communication and resentments that are being held onto.
Learn to communicate EFFECTIVELY.

TEST NUMBER ONE
TYPOLOGY TEST
TEST NUMBER TWO
PERSONALITY DISORDERS TEST
TEST NUMBER THREE
HEMISPHERICAL DOMINANCE TEST

If you don't understand the tests and what they mean,your at the mercy of your own ignorance.

Everything changes...even you
The only person you can change is YOURSELF,but your lazy and unyielding so don't bother...

When you start A relationship treat it as you would a third person( An infant)
Nurture it
feed it
explore it
mature it
Focus on the relationship and make it more important than each other.
Work on yourself not the other person.

Guys... look up at the moon every dam night and see what phase it's in (lol)

Never go to bed angry is a fallacy...just have angry sex
make sure it's with each other or at least your in the same room at the time.

If someone cheats ditch them(define commitment)


"Trust": is when your apart (can you say integrity)
"Honesty": is with each other(buy a bull crap tester)
"Commitment": define it at each level.
Try and be...
The best of "friends"
The best of "companions"
The best of "lovers" (corny I know)
Read the definitions of the "" words to each other and discuss them

no one is truly positive or negative
we wax and wane

ewww why toss the towels on the floor thats icky.

Always put the seat "AND" the lid down. (problem solved)
Always look first to see if that's happening.(what is the definition of insanity?)

If you think your ugly YAY there are more ugly people than pretty people so you have more choices.

If you have emotional baggage to carry ....take a trip.
the airline will loose it for you.

...Define...

Romantic
Spontaneity
Long term goals
Short term goals
Boundaries
Interests
Fantasies
to each other
Repeat...

Don't blow each other off.

Always set an expectation for tasks(yes I'll take the garbage out within three days or so)
er ....I have to go.... It's bed time apparently



[edit on 27-8-2009 by The Utopian Penguin]

Women... now there is a mystery too big for ATS to handle.

I LOVE WOMEN! All women, everywhere. I love the female creature. I love femaleness of being. I love it in humans, and I love it in nearly every mammal.

I watch my wife, daughter, grand daughter, sisters, mother, family members and neighbors. It is the best show on earth. Guys, not so much.

Females make life worth living. It gives life it's spice, and zest. It takes your breath way in sheer joy, and also gives life pain. Women are the vessels of life. They are the well spring that makes life bloom and grow. Without them, it would be one drab, dismal existence.

To some, females may not be perfection. They may not be the ideal of reason and logic. I beg to differ. I feel they give life its humanity, and compassion. Nothing can compare to be loved and desired by a woman who loves you compassionately. Nothing can compare to being loved and adored by a daughter. Nothing can melt a mans heart like, like a little girl that his wife gave life to.

So, ladies, you can cry, have moods, and fly off the handle because you have had one too many buttons pushed...it is OK.
You can be the biggest harpy one moment, and then be the softest angel the next. I accept it.
I am a man. I can be infuriating, maddening, selfish, brutish, and bossy. I apologize. You can be these things too. Your human.
When we gel, and our souls connect, and we literally become one in mind and heart, nothing in life is sweeter.

My wife;
My wife is my my heart. She makes me smile and makes my heart feel lighter by just the sight of her. Her soft voice , unreasonable or not, always cuts through my male fog. My daughter has bent me around her little finger since she was two. She is thirty seven today. She still can.

So yes, I accept you as not being a male. You are the opposite sex. I have been so blessed to have you in my life. I have never cheated on you, nor would I. You have made it very clear, that I am your guy. I love you deeply for it.

I will always hold you, and cuddle you when you need it. I will honor your body, and your sense of self by never forcing you to do anything that goes against who you are. I have always done that. We totally understand each others needs. You know what makes me tick, and how to make me glad I am a man.

Now we are in our sixties. We've each had some health scares. We're aging.
You've got gray hair, that you color...and it is OK. I am all gray.
You have lost some of your youthful definition, and muscle tone. It's OK. So have I. I still think your the most beautiful thing on the planet.

When I look at your aged left hand, and see the diamond and wedding band I put there many years ago, I remember the girl I proposed to. Your still with me. You said yes, and have been my partner through thick and thin.

I thank God for you, and that you are nothing but a female in everything you do. When I call you; "darling" you know I really feel it.

There is a solace knowing, that we will lay next one another throughout eternity, until we are dust and all traces are gone. Yet, our love for each other, will endure forever. Thank you darling, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Ladies, never be anything else but females. Your wonderful!

reply to post by Confused and Dazed!


I would give you a million stars for that if I could!!

reply to post by Greenize

I would give you a million stars for that if I could!!

I'll give a second million

that almost made me cry