A Little Help For Men Trying To Understand Women!

What a great thread...

Being a girl, I'm glad you stated these simple facts that guys try to make complicated.

I'll admit though that I don't even get myself sometimes. It's those dang hormones I tell ya. I think a common misconception is that girls' hormones only act up around "that time". The bad news, guys, is that it actually just gets worse around "that time". I'm sorry, but it's true. Our hormones are always going crazy.

Oh and to some of the other poster who seem to have a very strong resentment towards women...don't take it out on all of us, just like some men, some women are just complete a-holes and get of on being sadistic. It makes them feel important.

Sorry to go all Dr. Phil on you but you teach people how to treat you. I only just met the man of my dreams when I was 26. All others before him seemed to be exactly the same and I was really starting to take it personally. I really did think it was me. It's not. I figured out that I was just teaching these guys that I can be walked all over and that I wanted a guys attention so bad I was willing to be treated as a convenience just to get that attention.

I mean, they were a-holes in their own merit but it was also my own fault for putting up with it.

reply to post by Spiramirabilis

so you haven't found your perfect woman yet - and you've given up...

THAT is why I said 'construct'. There isn't a woman out there for me. So, 'construct' is just what I have done. I described what I'd like. I can sit down at the computer and 'construct' all sorts of things I cant own/ have' or desire- using 3d. I can sit down and 'construct' a woman using an art pad and a pencil. I use that word, because that's all I am capable of- a construct of my own imagination.

I'm simply sick and tired of being complained at by women who seem to criticize my every move, thought, and everything else. There's no room for love or compassion anymore. It's all a criticism game.

what always fascinates me about people - in general - that complain about how unfair people are - how shallow - those same people always have a list

YOU wanted a description. You got a list, because it's an easy way to organize my thoughts, and not leave anyone reading the post with a lump of words.

[edit on 24-8-2009 by wylekat]

reply to post by wylekat

I'm simply sick and tired of being complained at by women who seem to criticize my every move, thought, and everything else. There's no room for love or compassion anymore. It's all a criticism game.

someone just before you just mentioned something - and I think several others have as well - it's not all women

not all women are like that

YOU wanted a description. You got a list, because it's an easy way to organize my thoughts, and not leave anyone reading the post with a lump of words.

I did ask - and I thank you

you missed my point

[edit on 8/24/2009 by Spiramirabilis]

Great thread. I'm glad I'm, not the only who has to fight for alone time.

That is my hubby's biggest issue, apart from me not being up to it twice a day.

reply to post by wylekat


The same can be said about anyone, men and women alike. Is that not an accurate statement. Why do you assume that only women like to cause people grief.

It's not an isolated state of being only had by the females of our species.

reply to post by nunya13


Some men do feel that. There is a guy that writes letters to the editor in my local paper that claim the Domestic violence 'industry' as he calls it is out to get men. That men are abused so much more often than women, etc.

He really believes this. Not meaning to go totally Freud on you, but I suspect it comes from a mean, unstable or just over bearing mother.

Originally posted by MadameGuillotine
reply to post by nunya13

 

Some men do feel that. There is a guy that writes letters to the editor in my local paper that claim the Domestic violence 'industry' as he calls it is out to get men. That men are abused so much more often than women, etc.

He really believes this. Not meaning to go totally Freud on you, but I suspect it comes from a mean, unstable or just over bearing mother.

...it could be that his father was abusive and his mother was a doormat, so he was horribly disappointed that not all women are like dear ol' mom the doormat...

reply to post by MadameGuillotine


I would say the guy has a right to complain. There are plenty of abusive women who think they have the right physically attack their man. This shouldn't be tolerated anymore than a man attacking a woman. Yeah, for the most part the man can easily hurt the woman, while the woman rarely does any physical damage, but in a heated argument when you are mad and the woman physically attacks a man, it is hard not to retaliate. A man shouldn't retaliate, because the chance of doing some real harm is too great, but the woman shouldn't get by with it either. If a woman attacks her mate, and he reports it, she should get charged just like a man, and that does not happen, or very rarely happens. If she attacks him and he retaliates, they should both be charged. I think such a policy would greatly reduce domestic violence, because from what I have seen and read, most of the time it is the woman who gets physical first, often times hoping to provoke a counter attack. Then the guy gets charged while the woman gets away with it. If she knew she could go to jail, these situations wouldn't happen nearly so often.

There is a domestic violence industry, and a family court industry that profit handsomely off of the miseries of others, and that is a shame. If there was more balance to the system, I think divorce rates would be a lot lower.

reply to post by Wyn Hawks


Or maybe his ex was physically and mentally abusive, and now he sees all women that way.

Maybe he was arrested and convicted for defending himself, far out of proportion to what he did. Maybe his ex was an abuser who still wound up with all the property, control of the kids, and a big chunk of his paycheck, and she continues to make his life miserable because of a terribly one sided system.

I have seen this situation more than the opposite. The courts turn too much of a blind eye to the abuses that some women heap, and the children pay for it as well. When she attacks her hubby, it might not hurt him, but what about when she is alone with the kids, it does hurt them, and they give her full control.

Originally posted by wylekat
reply to post by Spiramirabilis

 

I'm simply sick and tired of being complained at by women who seem to criticize my every move, thought, and everything else. There's no room for love or compassion anymore. It's all a criticism game.

...i aint buying your story, bud... you aint ugly... you just a whiner and you like it that way or you'd stop...

reply to post by Wyn Hawks




There. Vomit on your keyboard, for all I care. I've had enough of the snide remarks. YOU haven't lived my life. Y O U can can the hilarity. Now.

Quasimodo has LEFT this thread. Now you all have to go find someone else to be snide at, doncha...

...nothing wrong with your looks...

reply to post by poet1b


I completely agree.

I had a guy friend whose girlfriend would beat the ever loving bejesus out of him. One time she called the cops after she beat him up and he got arrested and he didn't even hit her. She just said he did. I would have beat the crap out of her if it weren't for the fact that she was bigger than me. But I did tell her I would one time when he called me for help, although it was obviously an empty one.

But I don't agree that the level and frequency of violence is equal among women.

Nagging and criticism don't count as abuse either; however, mental abuse such as degradation, put downs, and the like are verbal abuse. Those can really effect a persons well being.

You're wife/girlfriend nagging at you to clean the dishes on a daily basis is not abuse. Just clean the dishes and she won't nag you anymore. If you do the dishes frequently and she still nags, then she has a serious problem. If it effects you mentally to the point that your self esteem is damaged, then YOU have a problem.

reply to post by wylekat


Brother, now I'm really confused ... you look just fine, better than me in fact.

But you carry such a low opinion of yourself for some reason.

You know people (men and women) feed on that energy and react to it. You might find that that in itself may be a bigger hinderance to loving relationships than the way you look and how much money you got.

Honestly w.

...i'll tell ya something else, wyle... i know two men who were horribly burned when they were boys - their faces, necks, arms, hands badly disfigured... they did not let their outside appearance define who they are and they have enjoyed many decades of wonderfully fulfilling lives with spouses, children and grandchildren - because - they're a pleasure to be around - and - thats a choice they made...

...you dont have that obstacle to overcome... you look just fine, as normal as anyone else... it was your choice to let other people define you and that choice is what led you to be so negative... stop that and start loving yourself... i promise, it only feels kinky the first few times...

reply to post by wylekat


Have you been peeking in my window? LOL

reply to post by MadameGuillotine


I can sympathize!!!

reply to post by poet1b


I firmly believe that if you are bold enough to knock the hell out of a man you had better be bold enough to take the ass kicking that follows...I do not condone violence...as a matter of fact, I hate it. As a woman, I can be dainty when need be, but you hit me and I am hitting you back! I think the same is only fair for a man!

reply to post by wylekat


There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you look!!! You just need to start seeing you as you are and not how you think you are!! I think your cute!

Originally posted by poet1b
reply to post by Wyn Hawks

 

Or maybe his ex was physically and mentally abusive, and now he sees all women that way.

...if the above is true, he needs to get into counseling asap...

Maybe he was arrested and convicted for defending himself, far out of proportion to what he did.

...sounds like an excuse for his inability to use his brain rather than his fists...

Maybe his ex was an abuser who still wound up with all the property, control of the kids, and a big chunk of his paycheck, and she continues to make his life miserable because of a terribly one sided system.

...they were both abusive... you believe his excuse and not hers - thats the only difference and that dont count...

I have seen this situation more than the opposite. The courts turn too much of a blind eye to the abuses that some women heap,

...judges make mistakes, sure, but its not a pro-women / screw-men deal like you're pretending it is, which makes me think you have a lot more invested in this story than you're claiming...

...more often than not, the winner is dependent upon who has the better lawyer - as well as - how the man / woman carry themselves in court... a person can claim their spouse whooped up on them everyday but if the claimant comes off as a jerk or a manipulator, the judge aint gonna believe their story...

...a friend of mine is a divorce lawyer and in his consultation office he has two beautifully framed drawings hanging beside each other... they're both labeled "master manipulator"... both are stick figure drawings... one is a male with rainbows of tears coming out of his eyes - the other is a female with the same tear strewn rainbows... think about it...

and the children pay for it as well. When she attacks her hubby, it might not hurt him, but what about when she is alone with the kids, it does hurt them, and they give her full control.

...the kids would not be in a healthier environment with a father who thinks its okay to beat up his wife because she was whoopin' up on him first... maybe she was abusive but he's stupid and abusive, so the kids are screwed either way...

...a smart father, that truly loved his kids more than himself, would have (1) removed himself and the kids from that violent environment, (2) got the kids a therapist, (3) got himself a therapist, (4) got a lawyer, then filed for divorce and custody...