Should I really feel this way?

reply to post by ldyserenity


See you contradicted yourself yet again, you said you wouldn't be back and you were through with this thread. Case and point.

-Joker

reply to post by ldyserenity


you are welcome! you were just being honest and congruent. you were sharing how you felt at the time!
when i get down or resentful with life .. i try to do things i love that make me happy. i love writing too. i write poetry and i am an artist. being creative is an excellent way to get back in sync with spirit and the higher self. it helps me. get writing Idserenity!!!!!

will keep sending positive healing thoughts..
love and light
ps

reply to post by ldyserenity


your not alone man and altho i havent made much of myself in life i've managed to somehow collect ssi to keep me financially secure without having to work due to multiple issues mostly psyche and its good for me because it allows me alot of time to isolate but i dont condone this lifestyle what so ever, i was tortured so harshly in school that eventually by 11th grade i brought chlorine gas in to dump in the vents and luckily didn't get to do that otherwise instead of 5 months at a minimum security juvenile lockup that wasnt even locked up, more like summer camp i prob would have been tried as an adult but the psyche issues and years of torment helped and no please dont try and kill people, its more fun to watch them live in either open misery or a blatant facade due to fear of showing who they truly are but i will tell you one thing of mass importance, its not the good or bad that happens to us in life its how we decide to cope grow and learn from it. honestly man if your still in your late teens early twenty's you have much time to get things accomplished you just need to learn the patience necessary to make it through those last few tough years, trust me your brain chemistry will even balance out calming you some as you hit 22-25, i just turned 27 and still plan on schooling but funding is difficult to find it seems but hell who says you cant buy a decent 200$+ camera or more if possible and take photos that you can then sell via online or in local art expos/shops. youd be suprised how much people would pay just for a simple picture print if you only know the market demographic to take your product to. trust me man youll make it

reply to post by ldyserenity


If you need me to point out all of the contradictions I can as an example heres one, you claimed to get A's and B's throughout highschool but this is what you said in your first post: "Then to have parents who tell you you will never get into college because you aren't serious about education, even after you stayed in High school and had to repeat 11th grade because you cut so many times the first time around because High school was hell, they still don't see you really are serious about college and decide they're just not going to pay for it." Can't get A's and B's while cutting everyday it's impossible my friend, unless you were SPED ED classed.

Again your story has tons of inconsistencies, I suggest if your going to BS the people here, who just love picking apart things you do it more tactfully.


[edit on 13-8-2009 by NoJoker13]

Originally posted by NoJoker13
reply to post by ldyserenity

 

If you need me to point out all of the contradictions I can as an example heres one, you claimed to get A's and B's throughout highschool but this is what you said in your first post: "Then to have parents who tell you you will never get into college because you aren't serious about education, even after you stayed in High school and had to repeat 11th grade because you cut so many times the first time around because High school was hell, they still don't see you really are serious about college and decide they're just not going to pay for it." Can't get A's and B's while cutting everyday it's impossible my friend, unless you were SPED ED classed.

Again your story has tons of inconsistencies, I suggest if your going to BS the people here, who just love picking apart things you do it more tactfully.


[edit on 13-8-2009 by NoJoker13]

"Then to have parents who tell you you will never get into college because you aren't serious about education, even after you stayed in High school and had to repeat 11th grade because you cut so many times the first time around "

I was there for every test and got A plusses on every one...I also had people who'd give me there notes when I cut when I asked. Just going back to school at all proved I was serious because I didn't have to go back I was eighteen and I was able to sign myself out legally, So I could've left and just said screw my education. I was an adult.


You said you did the same and "Graduated in the top third percent" You're contradicting, too. I failed because my school retains you if you miss over 12 days period, In NJ that's how they work. If you miss over 12 days you get left behind if you don't make up the time. I didn't cause it would've been the whole summer. I didn't want to give up my summer, but I should've. That's okay though, because the second time through eleventh was so easy because I'd done it all before. I guess you're the only one who can cut and still end up in the top third percentile? LOL I find that hard to believe!
I wasn't going to come back, unfortunately, other intelligent people did add to the thread. Now, would it be very considerate to not reply to them because of the dummies who posted stupid s**** on the thread, no it would be inconsiderate, now wouldn't it?

edited to add and for punctuation and grammar.
[edit on 14-8-2009 by ldyserenity]

[edit on 14-8-2009 by ldyserenity]

reply to post by NoJoker13


In case you forgot what you wrote...

I cut class more then a third of the years through 11th and 12th grade and still passed in the top third of my class. My parents told me the same thing, I'm successful and it has nothing to do with them, it's got everything to do with me. If you can't stand up for yourself no one will.

That is what you wrote, you're either retarded or senile...so which is it...oh I forgot YOU WERE LYING...what a bozo You thought I would forget what you wrote? You may have, but I didn't HAHAHAHAHA Just in case you try to say you didn't write that...folks it's on page 6 on this thread about halfway down the page you all can read it for yourselves.

[edit on 14-8-2009 by ldyserenity]

This thread took a turn... and no hope from those that say 'get over it' and expect one to just get over it like that. It doesn't always happen like that and just makes things worse. Look at this thread for proof.

To the OP... look into these symptoms... these are just the 'tip of the iceberg'... it is best I don't list more beyond this:

"
* Constant sadness
* Irritability
* Hopelessness
* Trouble sleeping
* Low energy or fatigue
* Feeling worthless or guilty for no reason
* Significant weight change
* Difficulty concentrating
* Loss of interest in favorite activities
"

If you experience 3 or more of those regularly and at times for no reason, then it is a good cause to look for help. It simply could be a disability, and it is not one you can 'just get over'. It doesn't mean you can't do or anything worse, it's just a commonly misunderstood condition. It doesn't mean your not normal, yet the more you know the more you'll understand why you felt its hard to fit in.

reply to post by dzonatas



No I was just PO'd that day I wrote the thread...I should've waited till I wasn't so wrapped up in it all. Just basically PO'd At the world, like everybody gets sometimes. I never had any of those symptoms, ever.However when somebody is attacking me...I will attack back and they will get the bullhorns so to speak. Just the way I am. I will not let somebody call me a punk and don't drag their butts in the mud right alongside. Nobody's perfect and those that think they are...they're the delusional ones...they need the help.

reply to post by ldyserenity


Your absolutely foolish, my school didn't have a policy about attendance so yes I was able to cut and maintain my GPA. You stated your school had something against this thats the reason you stayed back, "or so you say". Keep digging your ditch it's only big enough for you to fit in anyway. Like I said no one cares about you except for you and only one person knows the absolute truth about you and thats you, Continue to lie you gotta live with it not me.

Also if you were scoring A+ on every test, I doubt your parents would think you 'weren't serious about school'. Tisk Tisk Tisk.

I can use childish laughing faces too, but the fact is people usually laugh because they're wrong... or hurt. Have fun being a juvenile.

reply to post by dzonatas


Definently a disability.

reply to post by NoJoker13


Do you always look at the cup half full? Maybe you need a mirror to see it half empty.

Obviously you care, or else you wouldn't even post here at all.

So, I take it this is your alter-ego avi. Wasn't hard to figure out.

Originally posted by ldyserenity
I have been strong long enough I give up!

If you're so strong why are you giving up now?

Originally posted by dzonatas
reply to post by NoJoker13

 

Do you always look at the cup half full? Maybe you need a mirror to see it half empty.

Obviously you care, or else you wouldn't even post here at all.

So, I take it this is your alter-ego avi. Wasn't hard to figure out.

He doesn't care, I will fill you in...he's a troller, another ATSer has U2U'd me and told me this is what he does, no matter what the topic, so there ya go. A troller who thinks he's Got super intelligence, but everybody is beneath him. He needs a psychiatrist. He thinks he's charismatic, that tells you a lot right there, Ted Bundy was charismatic and hated people... so there ya go. This person really needs major help, could be the next unibomber. I would just ignore his replies, as I have.

Edited to add: He probably never succeeded in anything but figuring out how to milk the government welfare system, he's probably 480 lbs and lives in his mom's basement...or he's delusional, that's why I said he needs psychological help. I guess you'd call it delusional when you think your parents are the only A****** In the universe who ever told their child they were going to amount to nothing even though they were a smart, well adjusted kid, leaps and bounds above thier peers...or he's just a great big liar read his post page six, he states the exact thing he's saying I could not have possibly done. Just go back and read his entire post there page six halfway down the page...And to him I say "Eat another twinkie, it'll be alright!"
I will quote

"I cut class more then a third of the years through 11th and 12th grade and still passed in the top third of my class. My parents told me the same thing, I'm successful and it has nothing to do with them, it's got everything to do with me"

Apparently he's saying he's the only one who could do this, which is super egotistical and immature.
[edit on 17-8-2009 by ldyserenity]

[edit on 17-8-2009 by ldyserenity]

[edit on 17-8-2009 by ldyserenity]

yay!
lets all feel happy happy

yay way it's so easy
lets all hug and sing!
we are so wonderful
and lovely
oh we hugly
oh so bubly
yes I do
we love you
that's so choosy
not so bloomy
yet extra ordinare

yay celebration of happiness time!

go hug a tree and feel the love!
or hold a rock in your hand and feel the love!
physical matter is held together by physical and chemical bonds in human called Love

yay oh rocks,
you are so strong,
you are so faithful,
please feel our respect

yay now you're smiling
even laughing?
yay so it will come true soon for you

Lady serenity, i want to destroy life at times,thats how angry i get.when it aint my way, it aint gonna be no way,untill i'm content with life agian,but the heart always comes back,it has a way of creeping up on me,after i go through one of my spells.and dang it if i had it my way we would all be gone life is about how much suffering we can endurth untill that final last day,i can't help but wonder if this life is all there is. but i know how u feel ok .so go out and get some more! haha

When i first read your message i had to look at your name, cause i thought i had written it, then i realised, nah you had it easier than i.
I said the last bit to make you think, and i reckon you did (think).
The reason quite often we go through these difficult times is because,no one picks up on it, and we don,t ask, and so suffer. life can be catch 22,
YOU! are to be , seen and not heard, AND speak when your spoken to ?????
You are told not to speak,then when asked a question ,you reply then you get told off for speaking or answering back, You do as you are told and the are wronged for it, you cannot win, if you are made inferior,you become inferior until you change, which some do and some don,t
Here is the best one,
Forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive them that tresspass against us???

All those years of pain and suffering we are told, we forgive others when those gits can hurt you and get away with it and grin at you, yeah right.

My reply is this, if it makes YOU happy and you don,t hurt no one , then YOU do what you want to, and sod the rest.
You are born ,ya live and ya die
Try to enjoy the middle bit as much as you can then you don,t feel so bad.

You figured this out later in life, I figured this out in 5th grade. I didnt' become social till my freshman year in high school. And only because my girlfreind (who is now my wife) wanted me to meet her freinds. I didn't change much.

I know exactly and I mean exactly how you feel.

I'm sure you read a lot of inspirational garbage(no offense but I"ve heard it all) in this thread. Ignore all that(i['m sure you did).

The one thing you need to remember is. You are not alive for anyone else. You are here to simply experience. Experience means good and bad things. Have you ever heard of scarification.

If you are anything like me then you are very disconnected from your emotions. In other words crying solves nothing. You should look into scarification. Design and do it yourself. Not many people can appreciate the therapeutic effects of pain.

A good life or a bad life is for those who judge. Be content with simply being alive.

[edit on 29-8-2009 by ScRuFFy63]

Originally posted by Afterthought
reply to post by yayap3

 

Cats?

I'm sorry for laughing, but this distraught soul needs a dog. They are so much more demonstrative about their happiness you've made it home - & not just because they want fed.

Don't diss cats! They are divine. They have been my life line and still are. And don't give me that crap about being only nice because you feed them. Of course you feed them! Sorry for the rant but really.

Originally posted by Afterthought
reply to post by yayap3

 

Cats?

I'm sorry for laughing, but this distraught soul needs a dog. They are so much more demonstrative about their happiness you've made it home - & not just because they want fed.

Don't diss cats! They are divine. They have been my life line and still are. And don't give me that crap about being only nice because you feed them. Of course you feed them! Sorry for the rant but really.