When Words Can Kill: 'That's So Gay'

Originally posted by Zenagain
I got called much worse in grade school and didn't hang myself. I don't agree with bullying but I DO agree with growing a pair. Life sucks, get a helmet.


Edit: Just please, PLEASE don't be shooting up your schools, M'kay?

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Zenagain]

Agreed for the most part. This is really sad, and I have sympathy for his family, but I think there was probably more going on here than we're told. Perhaps the young chap was struggling with his sexuality, being told by his pastor that being gay was a sin and he would goto hell, doing drugs, steroids, being buggered by a family member.... I don't think this is the full story and sadly we'll probably never know.

School can be tough - it was tough when I was at school but most people gave as good as they got - I did - it was all part of the process. I was constantly told I had an extra large head - my buddy Grif was told he had a tiny penis - my friend Claire was called a slag for most of her school life... and hey... we're all doing fine now with no issues because of it.

Sure it can be unpleasant - but I agree with a lot of people that this stuff is character building. I wouldn't even say it was bullying. Bullying is wrong - but IMO bullying isn't a little bit of name calling - it's having the Jesus beaten out of you on a daily basis by the bigger boys...

I think maybe society has something of the blame here... We tell our kids these days that 'if you're being called names - you're being bullied' or 'if anyone says anything to you, you HAVE to tell someone immediately'...

That probably made the kid feel like some kind of victim when someone did call him names, and he didn't know how to deal with it as he's been brainwashed into the whole 'OMG this is so serious' attitude.

Hence he couldn't cope and decided to take his life.

Sad, sad, sad situation.

Where were the parents when all this was happening?

reply to post by rapinbatsisaltherage


Words can kill or build. They are mightier than SWords. The mightiest of all is the Mouth.



[edit on 16-4-2009 by ctjctjctj]

Put yourself in victims shoes, who are verbally or physically bullied at school just because they look or act different. Before you make comments such as, He needed to grow a pair of B***s!!!!!

Oh he has to grow a pair of *****, ridiculous, if the school had dealt with this before, this child even had a thought of suicide, maybe that child would still be alive.

If you have been at the forefront of the abusive and violent behaviour of bullies, then you do not know what you are talking about.

Speak to victims of bullies, weither homophobic related or not, listen to what happened to them. Then you might have the right to say that this boy, needed to grow a pair of B****.

There is seriously something wrong that schools are not dealing with bullying at schools.

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Laurauk]

Originally posted by Laurauk
Put yourself in victims shoes, who are verbally or physically bullied at school just because they look or act different. Before you make comments such as, He needed to grow a pair of B***s!!!!!

Oh he has to grow a pair of *****, ridiculous, if the school had dealt with this before, this child even had a thought of suicide, maybe that child would still be alive.

If you have been at the forefront of the abusive and violent behaviour of bullies, then you do not know what you are talking about.

Speak to victims of bullies, weither homophobic related or not, listen to what happened to them. Then you might have the right to say that this boy, needed to grow a pair of B****.

There is seriously something wrong that schools are not dealing with bullying at schools.

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Laurauk]

So instead of helping children become strong individuals, we should coddle them for life. This dumb kid would never have survived the real world anyways, sooner or later he would have offed himself or others. One less weak soul to deal with on this planet and good riddance. The world has enough of the weak, these are the idiots going around shooting up schools because they got thier tender feelings hurt, oh boo hoo sniffle sniffle. Whoever said GROW SOME was freakin right.

Originally posted by StevenDye
"grow a pair" That sentiment clearly comes from people who have never wanted to kill themselves. Well I have 4 times in the past two years, you need a 'big pair' to consider it seriously, and an even 'bigger pair' to tell people.

Oh I have thought about committing suicide multiple times.
And whilst I agree that it isn't a ''split second decision'', if the thought of doing it is lingering in your head for a long time, there's no need to have a ''big pair'' to consider it seriously.

A specific emotional state itself can already do wonders on whether someone wants to do it or not.

Just sit there with a knife in your hand, on the edge of a building, or whatever. Until you suddenly reach that ''valley'' in your emotional state that can push you over. Of course some people jump out of that state as soon as they jumped off the edge, and regret their decision.

But it's not as if the act of suicide itself requires that much of a big pair of balls. (Though some methods do require a bigger pair than others, like seppuku vs hanging / jumping from a building)

As for the kid hanging himself, if ''Gay'' is the only reason he hung himself, I agree with the other posters that he should've toughened up.

Of course we don't know the full situation though, so perhaps there was more to his life than bullying that made him commit suicide.

reply to post by rapinbatsisaltherage


I got all this, and they put me under electronic mind control for the rest of my life. They made my life impossible to live. Try living your life being monitored all the time, and then you will see how hard to live a life can be. So i was the victim, and i was the one to be punished for the rest of my life. I do not blame the kid, even though he should never of let them get to him like this.

For all those callous people that say grow a spine, you cannot talk for anyone other than yourself. Males are not all alike like females are not all alike. I want to use a swear word for those ignorant people saying this kid, was wrong, and he should of been tougher. So what if you where called worse, we are all individuals, that makes us different in alot of ways.

If he had to live a life that i went on to live, he may be better of dead, than living with loons, as an adult.

For all those people that say that he should of been tougher etc... What sort of ignorant person are you, i say again that all males are different like all females are different. You should of tried to walk a mile in his shoes, to see how he felt. We cannot tell what he went through, or why he went to this level, and its none of our business.

Todays world where everyone wants to know what others are doing, and what others feel like, its none of your business.

Its ssad if the story is true, and like i said he may be better of where he is today, then to live on this planet with totally ignorant ar1eholes, who think they destroying people is great.



[edit on 4/16/2009 by andy1033]

I went to school in the U.S. during the mid-late 80's til the late 90's and I've been called every name in the book. There's been times were I went home and cried and cried when I was young. But I never ever contemplated suicide.

There's more behind this suicide then some student calling another "gay". It shouldn't have happened, but it did. And I can think of a thousand other things I'd rather not be called then gay. (For example a liberal... Zing!)

But seriously, I do feel sorry for the kid and of course his parents. The loss of a child like that is just not needed and of course heart breaking. But we have to admit that the whole thing wasn't over him being called gay. It might have been what pushed him over the top, but it's not the root of his suicide.

Either way, may he rest in peace.


Peace,
FK

Originally posted by da_beast_666

Originally posted by Laurauk
Put yourself in victims shoes, who are verbally or physically bullied at school just because they look or act different. Before you make comments such as, He needed to grow a pair of B***s!!!!!

Oh he has to grow a pair of *****, ridiculous, if the school had dealt with this before, this child even had a thought of suicide, maybe that child would still be alive.

If you have been at the forefront of the abusive and violent behaviour of bullies, then you do not know what you are talking about.

Speak to victims of bullies, weither homophobic related or not, listen to what happened to them. Then you might have the right to say that this boy, needed to grow a pair of B****.

There is seriously something wrong that schools are not dealing with bullying at schools.

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Laurauk]

So instead of helping children become strong individuals, we should coddle them for life. This dumb kid would never have survived the real world anyways, sooner or later he would have offed himself or others. One less weak soul to deal with on this planet and good riddance. The world has enough of the weak, these are the idiots going around shooting up schools because they got thier tender feelings hurt, oh boo hoo sniffle sniffle. Whoever said GROW SOME was freakin right.

You know your comments make me sick, I pitty any children you have. Oh who cares about a 11 year old killing himself as a result of bullying , Maybe if schools deal with the situation when it first arrises maybe those so called idiots as you put it, might not go around killing others, or might not commit suicide. Complete ignorance.... on your part.

Originally posted by spellbound
reply to post by ElectroMagnetic Multivers

 

Sorry, you are wrong.
The child was called gay, and to him that meant that he was a misfit, so he killed himself.

Thats exactly my point, the notion that homosexuals are 'misfits' is the very reason I stated, it is because the majority of society still see's them different from the rest of us and thats just wrong.

EMM

Originally posted by Zenagain
I got called much worse in grade school and didn't hang myself. I don't agree with bullying but I DO agree with growing a pair. Life sucks, get a helmet.


Edit: Just please, PLEASE don't be shooting up your schools, M'kay?

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Zenagain]

Follow the link path from that first article, you'll find an article about an 11 year old that got pushed down the stairs at school...he's paralyzed and on a ventilator... Yeah, he should grow a pair.

I still think there is much more to this story that's not being told. Really, it doesn't make any sense that someone would decide THEY should die because some other people are acting like total jerks. "Those people are horrible so I'm going to off myself." Sorry, that just doesn't make any sense whatsoever. There must have been some other reason that's being kept a secret.

Sorry for this kids parents but not the kid...if someone calls you gay and you hang yourself than frankly you never had a chance here...

In grade school everyone was made fun of and called names. Thats what happens in grade school. Your kids learning from everything around you. Your going to call each other names and if kids can't take being called names at that age- then perhaps it would have gotten progressively worse if this kid got older.

Who knows...But the title and actual feeling of the story doesn't match with the truth. Some kid hung himself because he was called gay- its bigger than that. This was a psychological issue and clearly his life wasn't that good if he wanted to be killed for being called gay. Not only that but he didn't even understand the meaning of gay...

I have pity for the kid but its rare that something like this happens, especially over just a word...thats why i think its bigger than that.

reply to post by Laurauk


What are you talking about?

Ignorance is uninformed. He wasn't uninformed about the situation, perhaps callous but not uninformed.

You and a few others have stated what a "travesty" this whole situation is, yet I haven't seen a single comprehensive solution on YOUR parts either. Why do you think that is? Because there IS none.

You think Myspace's and Facebook's and Tweet's have all of a sudden spawned this "exponential" growth of youth suicide? Are you kidding me? This has been since time immemorial. Simply because information ABOUT these occurences travels at the speed of light is why the information is exponentially more visible.

Youth WILL continue to commit suicide because that is the toughest part of life. And YES these thin-skinned kids WILL do it and their families will be sad. End of story, there is no real answer. In fact, like one of the posters on the first page alluded to here, overly sanitized,heavily regulated and structured environment. As soon as a small piece of that structure breaks down for them (because clearly they couldn't know any better lacking the appropriate social skills not prevalent in this digital society) a complete loss; a complete breakdown of all they know that is real and then, swinging on the end of a electrical cord seems to furnish the comfort lost by that breakdown.

I look out at the sky every single night and it's yellow. Am I ignorant? Or simply colorblind.


AB1

reply to post by alphabetaone


Wrong people on this site thread are ignorant to the situation, and what the kid went through. All you get is, we all been bullied, yep right, i sure all of you have.

You cannot get any info from this news page about this situation other than he was called gay, so it is total ignorance on the part of the poster to say that he did t because of this and that, you guys do not know period. Thats ignorance.

This is what happens when a society deliberately interferes with an educational institution's mandate to educate. Why does bullying occur? Because the school administration can't do a thing about it unless they're willing to face the complaints that will surely be filed against them by the students' parents. You put your kids in schools where you don't want them to get an education, then you say that kids these days are dumb. Tsk, where's the sense in that? Schools can and will educate your children if the community will let them do their job without interference. If the kids want to learn about religion, sexuality or various other topics, let them find the books in the library. Let them be able to ask their teachers w/o the teachers being afraid of possible repercussions.

As it is, it seems like kids these days get sent to schools just to get them off of their parents' hands or because it is the normal, socially-acceptable way to do. Out of sight, out of mind. And the parents only need to worry about sending them out the door in the morning and fetching them from school in the afternoon.

And for the poster in the first page who said this,

Kids are cruel. I don’t know why, but they are cruel and well seasoned emotional and mental abusers.

hell, even your messiah has this to say, "Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven". So who are you to judge the children, when they've simply become what your society has influenced them to be.

[edit on 4.16.09 by toreishi]

reply to post by andy1033


Hmmm I think you're wrong there Andy. She was stating that his COMMENTS were based on ignorance where in reality, they were only based on opinion. Meanwhile, I'm sure he was about as informed as much as any one of us here could be on the REAL situation. Hell, with that as your argument, then ALL of us are ignorant and no one should have an opinion.

Left to the devices that you describe, anyone FOR or AGAINST what is being discussed here are all wrong because no one (here) ever was or will be able to be in that kids head to know the reality. For that matter, we could take it to the next level (seeing as how we're all ignorant anyway) ... maybe it wasn't suicide at all right? None of us were there...maybe the mother hung him up there and wants to blame it all on "gay".....perfect out huh?


AB1

reply to post by alphabetaone


But it still is being ignorant. Being ignorant of a law and breaking it is no defence is it. Ignorance is ignorance.

But i understand why people say the things they do in this thread, but heck, people are entitled to call those people ignorant, and you cannot say they are not.

This just broke my heart, and I cried. I can't bear to read things about children feeling so unloved and bullied at school that they would harm themselves in any way. I've been sending love and light to his family and to him, for I don't believe his life has ended, but want to be sure that he will be able to find safe passage. Just pictured my own son two years ago, and my other son in two years. I remember my families trip to Mexico when I was 11 when I was in grade 6. We need to teach our children how to reach out and befriend everyone. The pecking order at school is very hard on some children, and the viciousness can be unbelievable. But teaching children to actually look out for the ones who are shy and sitting alone, and to be a friend to those who look vulnerable, is one approach.

As far as bullying goes, the apple does not fall far from the tree. Children pick these things up from their parents. I have never known a bully child who did not have one or more bullies for parents.

People should have to pass a parenting class and obtain a license before they can breed.

We all have derogatory terms looming over our heads. Gay is the new Whore. I wish kids would toughen up, because this whole "LOL I KIL MISELF CUZ U CALL ME GAY" is stupid and perpetuates the negative connotations behind the word. I didn't kill myself when I was called a bitch or whore or slut, I laughed it off. I didn't kill myself when they used my genitals as a negative term for a weak man.

Get ANGRY, not depressed.

[edit on 16-4-2009 by sadisticwoman]