When Words Can Kill: 'That's So Gay'

When Words Can Kill: 'That's So Gay'

abcnews.go.com

Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover was 11-- hardly old enough to know his sexuality and yet distraught enough to hang himself last week after school bullies repeatedly called him "gay."

(visit the link for the full news article)



[edit on 16-4-2009 by rapinbatsisaltherage]

His mother found him hanging by an extension cord just minutes before she was going to meet with school authorities.

"I am brokenhearted," she told ABCNews.com. "We worry about the economy and about Iraq, but we need to be worried about our schools."

Walker, who works as a director of homeless programs, said Carl -- a slight child who loved his schoolwork -- had endured endless taunts since he started sixth grade in September.

The mother also said that dealing with these ignorant children was worse than her battle with breast cancer.

I always wonder about how these suicides impact the tormenters, not just the victims’ families. I hope, that if nothing else, this educates other young bullies out there and the children involved in this instance, so they can truly know the consequences of cruelty.

abcnews.go.com
(visit the link for the full news article)

I got called much worse in grade school and didn't hang myself. I don't agree with bullying but I DO agree with growing a pair. Life sucks, get a helmet.


Edit: Just please, PLEASE don't be shooting up your schools, M'kay?

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Zenagain]

reply to post by Zenagain


You know, I want to call you an Ahole, but I agree with you. Its sad to see a young kid take his life over name calling, and I give my condolences to the mother. But if I can take this into an un-personal matter, than I believe that every kid in school has to go through this. Its a part of growing up and knowing oneself. This is a tough world, and our kids need to be taught how to survive and deal with people like that who try to get at them in a personal manner. This world isnt all peaches and cream, and I think that this kind of treatment towards one another(as kids) is a natural and everyday thing. Bullies are everywhere, just look at the people who are in government, they still havent learned to stop bullying people.
I think that maybe there is more to this story, and that maybe this child had other problems in his life that only took one little name to push him over the edge. Thats just my opinion.

Originally posted by Zenagain
I got called much worse in grade school and didn't hang myself. I don't agree with bullying but I DO agree with growing a pair. Life sucks, get a helmet.


Edit: Just please, PLEASE don't be shooting up your schools, M'kay?

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Zenagain]

Blaming a victim doesn’t solve the problem. No, the bullies do not force themselves into these kids’ homes and tie the rope around their necks, but I don’t think anyone can ignore the alarming rate of very young people who are killing themselves because of cruelty they face in schools. Something has to be done whether you think these kids are “wimps” or not and I’m all for supporting any programs that seem to help defuse bullying in schools. We may want to look at how some schools are ran in other countries where (let’s face it), the students in general are doing far better when it comes to bullying, to test scores, to pregnancy and STD prevention, than American students.

Edit: Just trying to make clear that this is an issue with our society as a whole, involving the parents, the schools, and the bullies; kids don’t just kill themselves for any reason, there are lots of things that could play a part in such a decision, and I’m all for exploring avenues that would lower the rate of suicides in our youth instead of dismissing them as “thin skinned”.

[edit on 16-4-2009 by rapinbatsisaltherage]

It's sad, but yeah, he should have grown a pair... at his stage of his life, I would probably blame the parents for not talking to their kids. If the parents had a good relationship with that kid, he would have talked with them about that before killing himself to know what to do about it...

Really sad.

We may want to look at how some schools are ran in other countries where (let’s face it), the students in general are doing far better when it comes to bullying, to test scores, to pregnancy and STD prevention, than American students.

It's the culture. Violent culture and at the same time we have the parents who train their kids to be wimps. The first hardship they face, they cannot accept it and kill themselves.

Our society is sick.

And we're gonna see a lot of these things, but with adults. With the economic depression, there will be a lot of suicides, mass shootings and people killing their own families before killing themselves. Those people had it too good all their life and can't stand to not watch TV or have a car.

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Vitchilo]

Kids are cruel.
I don’t know why, but they are cruel and well seasoned emotional and mental abusers.
And they have been since playing out in front of the cave together I’m sure this is nothing new, the only difference is the word *gay*.

This is one reason why I feel - IMO - it’s extremely important for children to have a faith based foundation to fall back on when parents, teachers, friends fail them, or, just don't see their pain.

Call it the *invisible guy in the sky* or whatever you cretins want to name God, but, in this case and many cases where kids feel alone and unloved and in pain - Jesus / God works.

Condolences to the family.

Another by-product of the Myspace Generation.

Detached, empty shells with no social skills, overly-thin skinned, no sense of responsibility or desire for the greater good in life and very easily traumatised and depressed by things that should gloss right over them.

This is what happens when you bring up kids in this overly "sanitised", heavily regulated and structured environment.

They just fall apart later on in life, when their parents give them more leeway and less smothering and the world eats up them with a spoon.

A kid called him "gay" and this boy never before realised that people don't have to like you?
His parents never scolded him before? Never called him a name? Never told him he's gonna run into people who hate his guts?

Kids at that age are fighting in wars in certain parts of the world and yet in the West we have kids becoming depressed before they even hit puberty.

Really sad. That's all about you can say.

It's the clear reflection of brainwashing done by their parents or other brainwashed kids if their own parents do not spend enough time with them.

I was never told by my parents that being gay, communist, white, black, Christian, Muslim or Atheist is bad, but I was aways told that calling others bad names will only result with FAKE superiority and that real power lies in being humble and respectful.

Sad story, indeed

whatever you cretins want to name God,

People who disbelieve God=cretins?

but, in this case and many cases where kids feel alone and unloved and in pain - Jesus / God works.

And you have research to back this up I hope? You do realize both this kid and the one who killed himself last month were Christians and went to church often? Read the article.

Kids are wussies these days. I got my butt kicked in front of the whole school, not once but twice, by the same gang, and I didn't kill myself. Parents need to stop babying their kids and show them how to toughen up some.

reply to post by rapinbatsisaltherage


Dont ya love slang? The word "gay" used to mean happy, joyful and now it refers to sexuality....or to how someone dresses (according to the commercial anyways).

[edit on 4/16/2009 by rangersdad]

While I do not condone the actions of these bullies, I do agree with some of the posts here that there is more to place blame on than just the bullies alone. I would suggest that it's a number of things that culminated in this boys suicide.

When I was going through my formative years, my father taught me a lot about dismissing taunts from other children... you know.. the whole sticks and stones thing.

Kids are cruel because they are emotionally immature and do not fully understand action and consequence. Team that up with bad parenting and over sanitization of society (too much political correctness) and we end up with kids that are ill equipped to face adversity and the unsavory aspects of society in general.

There is much to point the finger of blame at here!

IRM

While I do not condone the actions of these bullies, I do agree with some of the posts here that there is more to place blame on than just the bullies alone. I would suggest that it's a number of things that culminated in this boys suicide.

I agree. I just don't get this mentality of "alright kids are cruel, move along". "Alright this thin skinnned wimp offed himself, move along, nothing to see here."

Obviously there are a lot of things playing into these suicides, but I don't think anyone should dismiss that there are problems and they need to be dealt with.

Yeah, you know cause that’s how a "boys" become men. Yeah thats how to grow up, you know, being psychologically and physically harass by a bunch of little inconsiderate savages. Yeeeeeehaa! But hey you know, its not like that gay tag has “any” repercussions. Humm I wonder if it was because the kid “looked” gay? Well, you know, a typical effeminated-looking 11 year old boy. Hum..maybe the little pair that this boy had wasn’t big enough to be considered “manly”. Who knows?

Oh well, bad luck.


[edit on 16-4-2009 by Exv8densez]

Aw.
C'mon kids! Get friggin tough. I was called all sorts of names as a kid. I got my butt beat from time to time. There was even a rumor that I actually rubbed another guys penis one time. Not true. But it didn't matter. This guy was older and he said it so people believed him. I let it pass. Most of the time. I did beat a guys butt for saying it once and then it did pass. lol. I certainly wasn't going to kill myself. As a freshman in high school the bigger kids picked on me. Finally I found out humor works or even standing up to the bullies worked. Yeah, not always, but standing up to bullies does gain you some respect. You're on your own when you're at school. Get used to it. It's called life.

I think the worst of my problems was that I was redheaded.lol. Yeah. it was a problem. I actually got beat down by three guys because I had red hair. I fought back, poorly. heh. But I did try. I did manage to get retaliation on two of the guys, and we actually became good friends. And I was their conscience whenever they decided to harrass someone because of the way they looked. The third guy just avoided me. Until high school senior year and we both showed up at the photographers at the same time for our senior pictures. What a sniveling punk he was. He used to be bigger than me, had once had a tough reputation, but now he apolgized to me and was sorry, boo hoo hoo. No. I didn't kick his butt, even though he deserved it. I just looked at him and said nothing. He left my sight still not knowing if I accepted his apology. This satisfied me more than beating him down. He'll never know. hahah.

Hey, I just wanted to add. We don't say, oh thats gay in our hosue. not until our gay daughter arrives.lol. And then it's true. Actually, she uses it more than we use it. And says it to her partner quite a lot. Hey, that's just us, though. It doesn't hurt when it's all in fun eh? Or is it!

[edit on 16-4-2009 by kyred]

I'm sure this was just the tipping point.

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[edit on 16-4-2009 by Gemwolf]

Originally posted by Exv8densez
Yeah, you know cause that’s how a "boys" become men. Yeah thats how to grow up, you know, being psychologically and physically harass by a bunch of little inconsiderate savages. Yeeeeeehaa! But hey you know, its not like that gay tag has “any” repercussions. Humm I wonder if it was because the kid “looked” gay? Well, you know, a typical effeminated-looking 11 year old boy. Hum..maybe the little pair that this boy had wasn’t big enough to be considered “manly”. Who knows?

Oh well, bad luck.

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Exv8densez]

Yep, for better or for worse. that is the way it is.

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[edit on 16-4-2009 by Gemwolf]

I think the worst of my problems was that I was redheaded.lol.

Yeah I have a friend with similar experiences. What the heck is it with redheads and bullies? Why do you incite their wrath?

reply to post by rapinbatsisaltherage


I am so sad that this child died.

But 'gay', even though all the kids in the world are robbing it of its true meaning, as it was robbed of its true meaning by previous generations..should not have caused this child to die. Couldn't this child talk to his parents?

This is a needless death in that 'gay' these days means 'not cool' - that is no reason to die.

How very sad. I really hope that the child/children who caused this death will pay for it - they will, of course.