I judge books by their cover

If you grow up in an abusive home (adult children of alcoholics and drug addicts especially) you develop a gift for reading people. It becomes a matter of survival to gauge the situation and the moods of the people around you. I can read the "vibes" of anyone. It doesn't make me psychic and it doesn't mean I'm judgemental. I'm just a survivor.

reply to post by The-Tyrant

Originally posted by fleabit
I never try to judge anyone. I've been through so much myself, that I know no one could possibly understand me by knowing me for a few minutes, it's just not possible. Knowing that, I do not do the same to others, either. If someone has a hangup, or is nervous, or forward, or shy, there could be a myriad of reasons, and I try not to jump to conclusions.

+1. I can relate with this a 100%. Depends on my mood though.
And I think many people believe they understand a person by having a couple words with him or her, but they would be surprised how wrong they are most of the time.


[edit on 18-7-2008 by BcnDiamond]

reply to post by The-Tyrant


I absolutely believe that you might have such an ability. I am very close to several people who can sum up a person in a short amount of time. Not maliciously, either - they just happen to be right far more often than not.

Now ME, though - I am a total loser when it comes to judging people at first sight. Given time, however, I begin to see the true person. It's just because of my nature to give people the benefit of the doubt, I guess.

If I ever need to have someone sized up, I just ask G____ or N______. They tell me what I need to know.

I do however, think I can size people's personality up by the way they write. That gets me in trouble, though.

What you are saying makes sense to a degree, but I wouldn't let myself fall into a stupor personally. There are individuals out their with the miraculous ability to act, lie, and deceive very well. This much is true simply because we have created entire industries and professions built upon falsifying reality.

But the average person, sure... the way they carry themselves can be a clear indicator of how they communicate with others and how they percieve themselves.

Even so, you should take into account that there is such thing as a bad day. Perhaps the guy looking down in the corner of a bar found out his mother died, or that his test results came in and in fact his cancer has spread to his lymph nodes.

Conversely, someone who is usually miserable may have just found out they won the lottery.

I would say initial impressions are strong, but I really don't think that they should be set in stone.

Originally posted by The-Tyrant
Now before you guys go gettin' your man-thongs all in a bunch, listen up! When I see people I can get their personality and life story down in 3 mins by looking at their facial expressions, seeing how they stand, walk, move and fidget. I'm usually always right too. I some what like a Terminator with my ability, except cooler. Does anyone else have those special ability? Are you able to know a person by just lookin' at them? Do you dismiss people if you don't like how they look(I do)? Does this method work for you?

i can do the same thing.... ive pointed it out to friends and family and they think its kinda wierd i can do this.

i dont dismiss people if i dont like how they look though, i find that to be rather repugnant to do.

I can do that too , i like too see how people interact with each other or with me , read their movements and eyes , the way they talk.

I love to people watch when i ride public transportation or go shopping.

HA! Just reading the initial post I could tell people would get pissed off about judging people by the way the "look".

Listen, it's not about judging people by their looks, its about judging them with what you perceive with your eyes, as opposed to your ears.

Some people I have known, including myself, are just extremely good at deducing character traits and general life milestones people go through by their appearance when taking into consideration the local socio cultural context.

I've brought this topic up many times in different social circles, and 100% of the time, I could tell exactly who would be upset. They typically fit a specific profile, which I won't describe here, because I do not want to insult anyone, and I know how hung up people get on words rather than meanings.

Honestly, this is true. As true as anything else. Certain types of events leave certain imprints on people, and in accordance to their socio cultural context, people bear a mark of their antecedents on their person, be it by their accent, their voice, the intonation on their words, the colors of clothes they chose, the piercings they put on, the tattoos they get done, their hair color, and if you believe in that as I do, even their aura.

Everything happens for a reason, and that includes people's choices about their presentation in day-to-day life. And reasons, tend to have a pattern in their effects.

Example: most tripping involves almost falling; most jumping in water involves something getting wet.

Of course, it's not as simple as that when it comes to people; it's much much more complicated. So complicated, in fact, that most people don't see it. And you know how it is when most people don't see or understand something? They become angry with those who do.

The idea of the original post is neither outlandish, nor elitist. It is a simple mark of above-average observation, deduction and perception skills.

Sherlock Holmes applied the exact same skills to crimes, except crimes don't get to turn around and go "no, that's not true! you don't know me! you can't tell". Lets not forget that people who are insecure and not at peace with their person HATE being told the way they are, particularly by someone who sees it right through them.

Society has conditioned us to believe that we are unique and should be mysterious and private, so we tend to freak out when people see through us for one reason or another.

This is a great taboo of society today: being able to "gauge" people efficiently and with great accuracy with minimal interaction is considered a handy tool by most successful people, and everyone who is good at it knows it, but god forbid anyone mentions it! Oh boy is it evil and mean and heart breaking to be able to tell how a person is by the way they walk and talk! :O

If anyone believes that a person's presentation is not related to their past experiences, they should take it up with a psychologist. Honestly. When you chose your appearance, you chose it according to your experience, and it does, inevitably, say TONS about you.

In America, of all places, where everyone cares about what their appearance says about them, this is not at all a mean or strange concept.

[edit on 18-7-2008 by mdagwd]

Nonsense.

I'd hate to bump into any of you people who claim you can judge and know a person just on how they look and how they move without getting to know them first.

You say you 'know' a person's personality just by some short observation but in reality you only 'believe' you know the person, when really you don't.

This thread makes you judges look incredibly shallow people.

reply to post by Corum


We don't really claim to know the person, simply to have a very strong sense of their values and perceptions of the world; what makes them tic, which is kind of the raw nature of the person.

I don't know about the other "judges", but I speak only from experience, and I have to say, I have yet to be entirely wrong about someone I have thus evaluated.

Let's not forget, however, that the most important part of being a decent human being is taking the time to treat each person as an individual with their own character before treating them as "one of THOSE".

Personally, I have preconceived ideas about people INSTANTLY, but if I have to interact with them, I always give them absolute full benefit of the doubt, and full opportunity to prove me wrong, before I claim to be right about them.

Originally posted by mdagwdPersonally, I have preconceived ideas about people INSTANTLY, but if I have to interact with them, I always give them absolute full benefit of the doubt, and full opportunity to prove me wrong, before I claim to be right about them.

Well, you can't say fairer than that, mdagwd, although you have to admit that your pre-conceived ideas could bias your opinion whilst you are getting to know the person. Thanks for addressing my post

reply to post by Corum


My pleasure

To be honest, it probably HAS happened that I was biased towards someone while giving them a chance. Human error, what can I say? I bet it did happen, when I was much younger, and was first realizing that I was good at this... who here has never found out he was good at something and went a little overboard in his self confidence before snapping back to reality?

Truth is though, I've yet to see someone who has NEVER, EVER, been biased towards anyone they didn't really know, regardless of whether they claim to be good at assessing people's personalities and ways or not.

I think that it's a valid point that you bring up, Corum, it's important not to become shallow, and to always keep in mind that the appearance of the person bears markings of that which defines them, but IS NOT that which defines them.

B'sides, there's always exceptions to every rule... it'd be stupid to think we're right 100% of the time!

Tell me OP does your amazing ability bring you to the conclusion that most people should be filed under "Anus"?

I feel most people in the developed world are idiots, only those who expect nothing are worth knowing.

reply to post by SpeakerofTruth
I look at the way a person carries themselves, their ability to look me in the eye, and even if their clothes are threadbare, I look to what they are able to do with their situation.
Your physical "presence" is more important to me than anything you can say or do.
Maybe it comes from my having been taught to measure a person by their deeds.

reply to post by LAUGHING-CAT


By your standards a shy doctor is nothing in comparison to a "ten man" criminal.. nice.

reply to post by spitefulgod
Without completely disavowing my previous post, I still think that God loves stupid people, as He sure did make alot of them.

reply to post by LAUGHING-CAT


merely stating my understanding of what I read, maybe I read it wrong but it seemed somewhat shallow.

reply to post by The-Tyrant


To the OP:

Is it possible that you might be falling prey to the idea of vague generalities? Here let me explain.

I remember I read a while back in a thread here in ATS, a story of a proffesor that decided to do a little experiment with his students with regards to fortune telling/psyche etc. (horoscopes and what not, he claimed that he could tell every student's personalities even though he barely knows them). He told his students that he could in fact tell the fortunes of all his students and he was going to prove it. Well after two weeks he wrote down for all his students the results of his "psychic prowess" and showed it to his students. Well the end result was that over 85% of his students did in fact agree that he had "predicted" their personalities and was able to tell what "flaws they had" and what they needed to do in order to succeed.

Here's the kicker though, he didn't really tell their fortunes, didn't use any kind of cosmic psyche or anything, he simply wrote what seemed like detailed, but in fact were vague generalities, vague enough that they could fit to almost anyone! We're talking about something like "You tend to be focused when you're doing something you love" or " You're very perceptive about other people around you and can usually tell what they're feeling" The thing is, these are kinda DUH generalizations, of course we tend to put more emphasis when we do something we like to do and of course can be very perceptive of how other people may feel around us, a lot of people, whether they like to believe it or not, wear/display their emotions on the outside. Now, this doesn't necessarily mean that we know absolutely everything about said person.

So that's why I'm saying that, it could be very possible that you're not really doing anything that is really out of the norm here and definetely not "psychic". Now, can this ability end up saving your life at the cost of you looking "arrogant" or "judgmental"? Of course it can! Duh! it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that, if you're walking around a very bad neighborhood with old and dilapadated buildings, that you might not be very safe there and that if you end up meeting someone dressed in gang-like attire, that you might be in trouble. Me personally, I could really care less what a lot of people say about me "you're being prejudiced" blah blah blah. But the fact is, that a person who has self respect dresses and talks in a manner that reflects their self-respect. Gang-members and Whiggers (white people pretending to be black) have no self-respect and that's why they end up dressing and acting like clowns.

Don't anyone in here tell me I'm being prejudiced and that I don't understand what they're going through because I HAVE lived in bad neighborhoods, I was raised in bad neighborhoods back in south america, were you REALLY had to watch out for yourself. But I NEVER became a gang-member nor did I blame my situation on "the man" or that it was "society's fault for abandoning me" those are BS excuses made so that people like that can continue their destructive behavior instead of growing up as they should. After a while my whole family was able to pull through and move to a better neighborhood afterwards.

Phew! Sorry about that long rant, I know I went a little off topic there andmaybe I might have said a little more than what was needed. But hopefully some will get the point.

Originally posted by LAUGHING-CAT
reply to post by SpeakerofTruth

 

I look at the way a person carries themselves, their ability to look me in the eye, and even if their clothes are threadbare, I look to what they are able to do with their situation.
Your physical "presence" is more important to me than anything you can say or do.
Maybe it comes from my having been taught to measure a person by their deeds.

Intersting concept. Let's say you know of me. You and I both work at a financial institute. You know I have a title that equates to some $. You know I make 6 figures USD a year, work for a financial institute, but somehow you see me at a rave party wearing some thrashed jeans and a ratty T-Shirt. Would you think I were stooping low to hang with the good ol' boys, or rather out of my element? Or even, playing a game of elitest to laugh at the underlings beneath me? Or?

Take care,

BTW, It would be really interesting if someone could post up their own 2 minute intro on video, and let the OP have a wack. It could be precious.

Originally posted by The-Tyrant
Now before you guys go gettin' your man-thongs all in a bunch, listen up! When I see people I can get their personality and life story down in 3 mins by looking at their facial expressions, seeing how they stand, walk, move and fidget. I'm usually always right too. I some what like a Terminator with my ability, except cooler. Does anyone else have those special ability? Are you able to know a person by just lookin' at them? Do you dismiss people if you don't like how they look(I do)? Does this method work for you?

I believe that everyone has this ability, just not all of us recognize it. Mostly because it is not necessarily an ability, but more likely an instinct. I liken this to the description of the human image in The Matrix. It is the digital projection of your mental self. In other words, your personality is wholly reflected by your image. This does not mean that every single detail about someone can be pulled from their look. One cannot look at a human being and understand whether they like a particular movie, style of music, food, etc. It is not about what people choose to identify themselves with physically. It's about the nonphysical. Emotions, philosophical ideals, etc. Essentially, how you view the world and your part in it is reflected by your look.

At the end of the day though, this is probably one of those things that simply cannot be explained to people who haven't already figured it out for themselves...