You're alone because you don't love yourself!

reply to post by Lucid Lunacy


You remind me of many of the drivers I deal with after accidents. It's everyone and everything's fault but theirs. If your relationship is over, it was BOTH of your faults. And if you have to have someone to love yourself, then there's an underlying issue there that you have to fix.

I used to have to have someone to tell me how good I was, to be able to like myself, and to think that I did things right. Then one day I met a friend who accepted me completely, laughed at some things that I thought were horrible, and helped me to realize I WAS a good person. After that I was much happier by myself, and much more able to deal with problems, by myself.

I'm now lucky enough to have someone who loves me completely, utterly, and unconditionally. Was it brought about because I like myself, not entirely, because she was interested in me before that point. Is it EASIER because I was able to change and like myself? Absolutely.

You need to find the reason WHY you have to rely on others for your happiness and fix it. Until you do, you will find that you will have problems with relationships, and keeping them going. I know, because I did.

From a previous post "Well I know I am alone because I don't love myself, but I only don't love myself because I am alone.". Therein lies the conundrum and confusion. I relate to the OP, but have found a bit of insight here. But i still need a lightening bolt, a personal visit from God, or a magic pill to understand self love. I guess it's self worth and confidence, or those are parts of the puzzle. But after taking many personal hard hits over the years (emotionally), believe me, it's hard to get your head in a positive place that seems to be need to thrive.
Or am I wrong?

Originally posted by Zaphod58
You remind me of many of the drivers I deal with after accidents. It's everyone and everything's fault but theirs. If your relationship is over, it was BOTH of your faults. And if you have to have someone to love yourself, then there's an underlying issue there that you have to fix.

Zap what I said was dark sarcasm, a dry sense of humor. It was both of our faults, that much I know. As for an underlying issue, there is a reason I am choosing to remain single. I need to learn to love and appreciate myself fully before I should look for a relationship. That said, I was being sarcastic with what I had said.

Thanks for sharing your story I am trying to shape myself first. But I do understand what you are saying about finding the right person and the rest falls into place. I haven't experienced that yet, but I understand it is out there.

[edit on 9-11-2008 by Lucid Lunacy]