Why are Some Men so....Just come in and read this :=(

reply to post by nerbot

You DO have a point. Some women let themselves go, dont shave, shower or care about anything. Its got to be traumatic for some guy to have to put up with this. Body rot doesnt help either. Nor does an extra 200 lbs.
Its a two way street. I havent changed much or at all as far as body or looks and i'm forever taking care of myself, i dont know what else to tell you.

reply to post by dgtempe


OMG, so sorry. Think I know who that was.

Anyway, I'd have to go with Grady's comment. If you want to chat in a U2U, I'd be happy to go into it more.

Suffice it to say that guys do not like to talk about a problem until it's solved. So it may be that he has had a glimpse of his own mortality, and is preoccupied with those ruminations.

When a guy gets really quiet, he's worried about something and just can't bring it up.

Also, they have a tendency to imagine the worst, and this feeds on itself.

Now, AFAIK, clinical depression is not amenable to logic or solutions, or even a soothing touch. It may be that a neurotransmitter has dropped to the point where there's not enough to prevent this.

Just some thoughts. It may not be to that extent.

Edit: Just thought of something else. If he's close to 50 years old, it may be that he's had a drop in testosterone production. It's worth ruling in or out. It's a simple blood draw.

HTH.


[edit on 15-5-2008 by Badge01]

Badge, he will be 60 this August.

He's always talking about us being teenagers one day and old the next.

I know this is a huge issue with him, his age. I'm younger and they say women reach their peak after 50. So i'm reaching my peak alone.

But you are right, he's always talking about death. He's tall and slim and the same way he was when he was a Marine. I know the insides make you feel like a 100 years old some days. I try to be understanding, but i wish he wasnt always so gloomy and enjoyed whatever life we have left in us.

Well, i think you just need to jump him... and not let him say no...

Mabye spice his drink with a Viagra...

No married couple should have to go thru this kind of 'torture'


I vow to NEVER do this to my furture wife...

reply to post by dgtempe


Well I can almost guarantee you his T-levels are low. It affects many things, incl. mood, and libido.

When they prescribe it, they test for PSA, pituitary, and other parameters to make sure it's safe, then you either apply a patch or a gel or a couple other methods.

You might check with his MD and see if he believes in HRT, and then suggest that you both go and get a level done. Even if you don't do the treatment, it's helpful to know the level. There's a distinct possibility that it could solve things. (not a promise, responses vary).

Not all MDs believe in this, but it's now a medically accepted treatment.

Good luck! (again, not an MD, so not giving advice, just offering a heads up).

Thanks again, Badge.

Will do.

He needs to go to the doctors for a physical anyway and i'll tag along.

Thanks much.

reply to post by dgtempe

It all started with the great "flu" of 1996

So you did have a roll-in-the-hay prior to 96?

I can't even remember a year.
Sorry kid I'm no help.:w:

Good grief! I never thought such things were discussed outside of a bar or a doctor's office, much less a message board. *Blushes*

I promise to give you ladies extra leeway when one of you posts something downright mean on a thread. lol.

Now it's time for me to go somewhere like the UFO forums; aliens never embarass me, even when they don't wear clothes.

(Dang you 'bozo, urging some of to spend more time in BTS. See what you've done?)

Your poor husband has an attitude problem. Life has (deflated his sails).
That keeps other things deflated. He needs to be turned around toward
a more positive, happy go lucky, spirit. People who belong to spirit filled churches, are often the hottest animals around. Seems like every time you draw close to the Lord. Your sexual thermometer blows it's top.
Why do you think the church is always being exposed for so many sex
sins? As Jesus said. "it is the spirit that quickeneth, the flesh profits nothing". Your man needs to be quickened in the spirit. Might take some time, to get him on the right foundation! The world's is so depressing, deflating and discouraging. No wonder all the men need a pill
to get it up. "the body without the spirit is dead!" Paul

reply to post by MountainStar
Yup. That was the beginning of the "end"

:shk:

You poor dear, are you married? If i werent i'd have an all-male party and invite you!

reply to post by NGC2736
That's right, remember the frustrated bitter ones and be easy

on us.



Thank you sweetie

dgtempe....I think it's the salt air on the Cape.

But seriously. I don't know? The wife and I are massively regular in that department and also commmunicate well when we are not in the mood. I'm 44 and she's 47 and we average about 4 times per week. Sometimes the weekends get a little crazy, so that could turn into, well....more

If I'm not in the mood, I tell her. But, she has a serious double standard in this area. She doesn't like it when I'm not in the mood. Wants to know what's wrong....blah blah blah. But, when she's not in the mood, well....she's just not in the mood and she doesn't need to explain. Not that I want her to, she doesn't have to be in the mood all the time. I just get a little ticked at the double standard here.....

Now....on vacations? We're like college kids that just started doing it. Waking up and doing it. Getting the complimentary breakfast and then going up and showering for the day...then doing it again. Then a day of adventure...then come home and do it. We easily average twice a day on vacation.

See...my wife is beautiful and I am very attracted to her sexually as well. I guess I have a decent amount of testosterone floating around as to where I get aroused quite regularly. When I get aroused, well....I usually want to take care of it and not by myself.

If my wife is not in the mood, she knows not to get dressed or undress in front of me. No coming out of the shower and into the bedroom naked if she's not in the mood. I would be apt to want to change her mind.....and sometimes I do!


dg....some people don't like sex that much (why....I have no idea). Does he enjoy himself when he does engage? I guess I want to know if he is engaged when you are "makin' zee love?" What were we talking about? Oh yeah.....I guess you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink!!

Sadly....

Because, the horse should drink and drink a lot!!



[edit on 15-5-2008 by Excitable_Boy]

reply to post by dgtempe


Ah DG - we're not all like that.

I keep dumping younger models because they can't keep up

Seriously though, it sounds like something else is wrong, and he's either embaressed about it or simply hasn't realised.

Besides - we're not just pieces of meat, able to perform on command

reply to post by Badge01


Yep, a mix, the "No Showering" is Ducky.
This made me chuckle.

WIS

Originally posted by dgtempe

So dgtempe doesnt get any. Now you know. i dont know what to do, really, any suggestions?

Oh my God DG I wish you didnt live so far away I have plenty of sexual energy to share. I would love to...ahem!

It sounds like he may not be getting enough DHEA. It is an endogenous hormone that gets depleted in men as they age and it makes them lose interest in sex. He may need some.

If you are ever in Michigan...


Edit to add: Well thats funny my post ended up just below WIS...I didnt even know WIS had posted here. Oh well. :shk:

[edit on 15-5-2008 by LoneGunMan]

DG,

Would he be receptive to going to the gym and lifting weights?

Just a suggestion here mind you, but when I work out, I ALWAYS come home "in the mood".....

Besides increasing Testosterone, lifting increases the production of Endorphines and other "feel good" chemicals in the body...

I know you say he is tall and slim, but I don't remember if you ever said if he works out or not...

Trust me, it really helps... Having Diabetes and being 49, I need all the help I can get and lifting is the cure for me. It is also a wonderful Homeopathic remedy for Depression.

Semper

reply to post by semperfortis


He's not lazy but he wouldnt do it. Oh Gawwwd, i hope you're all not laughing at me cause i have all this drama.
I figured it helps to talk about it. I know you understand, Semper, and i appreciate your imput.

If i was gay i'd be all set! (I have nothing against gays, just kidding).

For now, i just live with a brother or room mate who just happens to always pay the bills on time. That's a plus.

I think EB is right and it might be the salty air around here- my life started deteriorating right after i moved to the Cape.

Maybe i'll tell him we're doing it today and i'll start without him?

( )

I can try it. What the heck!

reply to post by dgtempe

I just think he's just trying to avoid the whole sex issue.What guy doesn't want to have sex,thats a new one.There really shouldn't be any excuse not to have sex.Okay so i heard the tragedies that went on through his life but its still not a good enough excuse.I'm not trying to get you upset or anything but maybe he's getting it from somewhere else.It's just hard for me to believe that a guy is refusing sex.Especially from a girl thats attractive.Hmmmm....sounds a bit fishy to me.I know I'm not very much help,but maybe that helped you out a bit.

reply to post by semperfortis


So it's not just me then???

Seriously..I know about the 'feel good factor' of going to the gym,but there's times I have to leave early..

(And NO..there's no girls there in tight leotards)


It's such a shame for you girls... I live too far away to help, I'd be only too happy to assist.. Purely for the sake of public spirit and the ATS community welfare..

Truth,

You could be right. After all, i've known people who have had affairs during lunch hours. Anything is possible. I'll tell you something, if that were the case, i'd buy him a case of Bud and pack his bags and send him on his merry way.

I dont waste any time. Besides, id never want to be with someone who doesnt want me.

Knowing him, though, i somehow dont think so. But who knows!