posted on Mar, 27 2008 @ 10:48 AM
I've seen more than a few posts in this thread now regarding dreams pertaining to school, with certain repeating themes. Now, this is probably
nothing in my case, but due to the openness and eerie similarity between so many posters in this instance, I feel compelled to say that I have had
some similar dreams. The above post about the CDs really got my attention, and compels me to post this in particular.
For over a decade I've had recurring dreams about schools, particularly school yards. In many of them, I'm carrying a backpack containing cassettes
or CDs that I somehow know are important, but I don't know why. Usually I'm being pursued by teachers or even law enforcement and/or government
authorities of some kind, and often I end up having to give my tapes/discs to someone else for safe keeping to protect them in the event that I am
"captured." In these dreams there is an overwhelming sense of injustice and fear, because I am aware that I haven't done anything to warrant such
pursuit or interest on the part of those authorities.
In several dreams I've also walked on to school yards to find fellow students crying, and there is the sense that something horrible has occurred.
When I enquire as to what has taken place, my closest friend from when I was between 12 and 15 years old appears, grabs me, and says, "Look at the
big picture; there isn't much time."
While on the subject of that friend, since we are all sharing stories that seem incredible, I might as well share this one. It may mean nothing, but
it is an integral part of who I am and my strange experiences in my opinion. When I was 11 or 12, I began attending middle school. On my first day, I
remember how enormous and overwhelming it seemed compared to my previous elementary school. I knew no one, and there were hundreds of students milling
about the yard. I took a seat in an enclosed area with a door which I would later learn led to the cafeteria and gym.
Suddenly, a particular student all the way across the yard caught my eye. He was staring at me intensely, but moreover, I knew instantly, without
hesitation or question, that I unequivocally knew this boy. I felt as though I had known him all my life. I am still at a loss to explain that
feeling to this day. He continued staring at me for the whole morning, and I continued staring back, until the school bell rang and we all filed into
the auditorium to learn what our classes and home rooms would be. I was given music as an elective (we weren't allowed to choose - why it was called
an elective I don't know.) The school district didn't have the funds it needed to actually teach us anything about music, so all it ended up being
was an end-of-the-day sing-along class. Nonetheless, that was where I first met and spoke to the boy I had seen hours earlier that morning.
He immediately approached me, and we began speaking instantly. We had an immediate, intuitive understanding of one another; an empathic bond that
allowed us to finish each other's sentences, know what the other was feeling at times, and in some extraordinary cases, even share dreams. In one
instance, he sketched a picture of me sitting in a place I had been dreaming about. It was a fairly ordinary dream, but he spoke about it with insight
that he just shouldn't have been able to have, and he drew it in a way which, while a bit hazy, definitely pertained to it. I still have the drawing
in my old journal. We were like brothers, and more so. I have never had such an intense bond with anyone to this day, including with the woman I fell
in love with years later as an adult.
This is the part that I feel self conscious mentioning, but that's what this thread is for, so I'm going to throw caution to the wind. My friend
would often tell me something that I don't want to repeat verbatim because as I mentioned in the thread regarding mental illness on ATS, I don't
like or embrace the notion of my being special or superior in any way. I'm choosing to use different words than he did and will simply say that he
expressed a belief that I was somehow "important," and that he didn't know how he knew this, but only that he did. He also said he knew he had been
"searching" for me for a "long time," and that he was glad he finally found me. I asked him what he meant, and why he thought this, but all he
would say was that I would understand someday, and that even he didn't fully understand it.
Most of the time, he acted and sounded like a normal teenager. However, there were times when he would change completely, and speak with the authority
and wisdom of someone much older it seemed. In those instances, he would tell me things that to this day I have a really hard time believing, such as
that he was some sort of angelic being, but that he didn't know why he felt that way; he "just knew" it. I can't honestly say I believed him, or
that I do now either. It's just always been incredibly strange, because the rest of the time he was completely what most people would call
"normal." Maybe he had some kind of a mental disorder himself? I don't know. He was never diagnosed for or treated for having one. What I do know
is that when I pressed him to tell me why he thought or knew I was "important," his only reply was, "Because you care about people you don't even
know."
It's as if there were two of him. The "regular kid" persona got bad grades, misbehaved, and eventually, as much as it still breaks my heart, joined
a gang and got gunned down in the back and killed when he was 15. The "other" persona told me I was somehow important because of my professed
compassion and empathy, and that we had known each other before arriving in "this world." I don't believe or disbelieve that that's the case, but
it's always stayed with me in the back of my mind. Was he just crazy? I don't have any idea. I loved him as much as it's possible to love someone,
though. It's all very difficult to reconcile in my mind, and frankly it’s painful to talk about, so I can only hope that this has contributed to
the discussion in some substantive way.
In any event, it's things like this which, while I maintain a completely open mind and heart, make me at least understanding and
tolerant of threads like the one suggesting the possibility of mental illness playing a role in such phenomena. I also still think, upon
reading and re-reading it, that its OP was trying to avoid offending or hurting us. I sound nuts..