Rodney Dangerfield joke of the day

02/04/03: "I don`t get no respect. I joined Gambler`s Anonymous. They gave me two to one I don`t make it."

Here's a Rodney Dangerfield Sound board from DreamLandMafia. Enjoy. gloop.net...


02/05/04: "I tell ya, blind dates never work out. I had a blind date. The girl, she showed up, she was pregnant. What do ya say to a girl that`s pregnant? What have you been doing lately? And she told me she had a fight with her boyfriend. I said, "Look, you tell your boyfriend next time you fight, he should knock you down." "

02/06/04: "I tell ya, my wife, she likes to talk during sex. The other night she called me from a motel."

02/07/04: "I get no respect. I was crossing the street. I got hit by a mobile library. I was lying there in pain, screaming. The guy looked at me. He went, "Shhhh." "

02/09/04: "I tell ya, I`m not a sexy guy. I was with one girl, I said to her, "Come on honey, I`ll show ya where it`s at." She said, "You`d better, `cause the last time I couldn`t find it.""

Does anyone read these or, am I just doing busy work?

I like that last one. Made me smirk.

Originally posted by NotTooHappy
Does anyone read these or, am I just doing busy work?

No No No Don't Stop !!! They are friggin' hilarious !!!
I almost peed myself reading some of them.
You are doing a great service my kind sir. Please keep the humor flowing.

Thanks guys.

02/10/04: "Last Christmas I got no respect. I gave my kid a BB gun. He gave me a sweatshirt with a bullseye in the back!"

02/11/04: "I tell ya, a lot of people are in bad shape. A guy stopped me in the street the other day. He told me he hasn`t eaten in five days. I told him, I said, "I wish I had your will power.""

02/11/04: "I don't get no respect. I joined Gambler's Anonymous. They gave me two to one I don't make it."

Originally posted by NotTooHappy
02/07/04: "I get no respect. I was crossing the street. I got hit by a mobile library. I was lying there in pain, screaming. The guy looked at me. He went, "Shhhh." "

Is it just me or have you posted this 3 times already??

Anyway i read the first 2 pages and couldnt stop laughing.

02/13/04: "I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it. "

02/14/04: "I don't get no respect. I told my psychiatrist I got suicidal tendencies. He said from now on I have to pay in advance."

02/15/04: "Hey , I don't get respect from anyone. Why, American Airlines, they thanked me for flying United."

02/16/04: "I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin and had to do the dishes."

02/17/04: "I tell ya when I fly, I don't get no respect. I took one of those cheap flights, no frills. I finished eatin and had to do the dishes. And I tell ya I got no confidence in the pilot. When he makes a left turn he puts his hand out."

02/18/04: "I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetary plot. The guy said, "There goes the neighborhood!" "

02/19/04: "I get no respect at all. I donated to a sperm bank. Now I'm the father of three puppies."