My homeschooled daughter lacks socialization...or so they rant...

My kids are not home schooled, but they do not socialize with anyone from school. They are homebodies and never and I mean never run with the crowd. You want to know what else? They both are honor roll students, are polite to me and their family and say thank you when I make them their breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc. They are 14 and 16 years old by the way. Better behaved kids I could not ask for. They are very mature and wonderful. Alot of people home school their kids. I dont see anything wrong with it.
Keep at it and dont listen to them. Just because they are teachers, doesnt make them right or good people. How many times have we been shown that as a society?

I wouldn't worry too much about the impotent teachers.

[Edited on 3-12-2003 by mooseofterror]

Originally posted by Machine


[ I don�t believe that wisdom is something to be found �within us�. I believe in the Bible as the standard for morality and will raise my daughter to understand why she should also accept its wisdom.]

no it is not found "within us" but around us! and i do not believe you will find it in a book either...books are for knowledge!

["Your comparing Marilyn Manson to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart?]"

it was not a comparison but to show diversity

["Aye karumbah!]"

yea o.k. ricky!

Machine

[Edited on 3-12-2003 by MAKESUGOHMMMM]

Greetings,

I appreciate your responses, it�s good to hear different viewpoints. I don�t want to respond to all the posts as that would take more time than I wish to spend but I will answer a few questions. I�ll scroll up and go person by person:

Saucerat,

You sound like a dream come true for any parent! You�re obviously highly intelligent and have a warm heart, I might sprinkle a few things on top but as it stands you�re looking good. Now, change your last name and come be my kid!

Nyeff,

I disagree, I believe that all public schools are lacking in education and control. The level of anarchy and despair that I have witnessed in our public schools is unacceptable to me but I�m glad you have managed to make a bad situation work for your older kid. As a retired Sheriff�s Deputy I know first hand the problems that go unfixed in our public school system. It really comes down to the teachers unions, they have absolute power and refuse to allow competition and discipline to enter our schools, this is a breeding ground for disaster.

Again, I applaud the work you surely must be doing on the side with your kids to allow them to succeed with the deck stacked against them.

forsakenwayfarer

Several years before my daughter was conceived my wife and I had several talks about the dangers and joys of bringing a child into this world. We didn�t take the biological act of creating a child lightly. After deep thought and contemplation we made the most important decision of our life and chose to have one child.

Now, what I�m about to tell you may fall on deaf ears but I�ll say it so that you understand why I do what I do. I�m responsible for my daughters choices. That�s right, her choices. In the end there is only one thing that matters to me above all others and that is this; where will my daughter spend her eternity? As her parent I can fail to do many things for her but failure to bring her up in a loving Christian two parent home is not an option. On April 17th 2001 my daughter was born and I knew that a part of me was born and a part died.

I enjoy a full and happy life but always my choices come back to my prime directive which is simply this, what have you done for your daughter today that will bring her closer to God?

At some point in her life she will make her own decision as to what belief system she wishes to accept, I pray to my God that she chooses Jesus.


pineappleupsidedown

I just joined this board a couple of days ago friend give me some time! I have many other interests that have nothing to do with home schooling.

jezebel

Nice post, I agree with you on several points. I wouldn�t send my daughter to public school then flip flop her back in and out of home schooling I think this creates problems as you experienced. I�ll keep her in home schooling until she is 13-16 years of age then send her to college if she is ready. My family has a long history of high academic achievement and I would like to pass that to her.

We shall see.

DaRage,

Sadly, you sound like a typical high school student. As for my daughters ability to protect herself she has a father who will raise her to be a fine hand to hand fighter. My brother manages ultimate fighters and king of the cage fighters from his school in Pomona California. I also have several black belts and training in several different forms of combat.

You can question several aspects of my parenting but her safety is something I smile about when asked.

Kiwifish

Great kids! I�m glad you worked it out, it�s a pleasure to be in the presence of good teenagers. Now, reach around behind yourself and pat your back you are doing yourself and the community a big service!


MAKESUGOHMMMM

One thing I�ve always admired about people who think as you seem to, they have a happy positive outlook. It�s hard for Christians to maintain that from time to time. Not that we don�t have our faith to keep us up but we often allow the negative things of this world to bring us down.

Cheers.

Well chat heads I�m heading off to other boards we shall meet again!


Machine

You know, come to think of it, they are right, my daughter does indeed lack all of these social influences. I�ll go enroll her today!

Mixed ideas on this one...

Problem is though...without being exposed to such things, she wouldn't have learned how to deal with them early on. At home, she's not used to people picking on her, etc. What happens when women at her first job get catty? She won't have the years of experience dealing with this that others do, and it may just leave an emotional scar for life...and this is just one example...there are many others.

Personally, I'm a fan of supplementing public education, with additional home educational tools. I admire your conviction, and the dedication to your daughter's future. But a good point is raised... Social learning isn't just learning how to be polite in society...it's about dealing with the relationships life throws at you...and dealing with those who may not act well, and that she'll be at odds with.

My personal advice, just makes sure she gets plenty of time playing with other kids (playgrounds, etc.) and interacting with them, on a regular basis, and that should help fill in the gap...

You know last night when I got from work,we had a phone call from my sons school. Now this really pisses me off,after defending public schools,they threw a curve ball at us. It appears that my son was sitting in a group enviroment. The boy next to him started to scribble on my sons paper. My son said stop and tried to get back to work. The other kept scribbling,so my son gently poked/pushed the other boy away with his pen. The teacher had seen what was going on,but only sent my son to a "timeout" then had to bring home a paper for us to sign. Which I thought was more than a little unfair. Considering the teacher has made it a point that one student should not hassling or disrupting another student. I don't mind my son getting a timeout,but it should be given too both of them. And this is a teacher we have had a problem with in the past.
So there are problems with public school,but all in all it is an effective system.
Besides...I met my wife in high school. It can't be all bad.

I think this member just came in to tell us all we are bad parents for not being able to stay at home and home school and/or to regale us with their unstoppable goodness and purity.
If I had my druthers I would probably home school my son until Jr. High but alas, my wife and I have to work so we can feed the young one and not live in a cardboard box outside the shelter.

forsakenwayfarer

Several years before my daughter was conceived my wife and I had several talks about the dangers and joys of bringing a child into this world. We didn�t take the biological act of creating a child lightly. After deep thought and contemplation we made the most important decision of our life and chose to have one child.

Now, what I�m about to tell you may fall on deaf ears but I�ll say it so that you understand why I do what I do. I�m responsible for my daughters choices. That�s right, her choices. In the end there is only one thing that matters to me above all others and that is this; where will my daughter spend her eternity? As her parent I can fail to do many things for her but failure to bring her up in a loving Christian two parent home is not an option. On April 17th 2001 my daughter was born and I knew that a part of me was born and a part died.

I enjoy a full and happy life but always my choices come back to my prime directive which is simply this, what have you done for your daughter today that will bring her closer to God?

At some point in her life she will make her own decision as to what belief system she wishes to accept, I pray to my God that she chooses Jesus.

i do hope she chooses christ aswell, but you have to realise that MUST be her own free choice to make. thats what i thought faith was all about, a choice in free will, and good mind. maybe i was wrong?

on the subject of home-schooling. i think its a double edged sword. on one hand, you have control, you have safety, you have protection. on the other, your child isnt going to be learning about the "real world" and how things work. "everybody falls the first time."
im going to pose one final question:
would you rather have your child fall when you can catch them, when they are young, when you can help... or would you rather have them fall later on in life, when youre not around, when they have no one to catch them? think about that long and hard please.

In the end there is only one thing that matters to me above all others and that is this; where will my daughter spend her eternity? As her parent I can fail to do many things for her but failure to bring her up in a loving Christian two parent home is not an option.

One thing I could never get about Christians (and other religious fanatics)....more concern for the afterlife, than the one life we all KNOW exists....*tsk..tsk* Why not be concerned more for her happiness in THIS world, than some fantasy land in the (possible) next one....

[Edited on 3-12-2003 by Gazrok]

It is a good thing to homeschool your kids.
If they are nice and unagressive types of people they shouldn't be corrupted or terrorized by others there (violence, sex, plain evil, stupidity).

Gazrok:
One thing I could never get about Christians (and other religious fanatics)....more concern for the afterlife, than the one life we all KNOW exists....*tsk..tsk* Why not be concerned more for her happiness in THIS world, than some fantasy land in the (possible) next one....

One thing I never get about people that think like you is why they think 70-80 years (if we live that long) of life that is mostly filled with problems and suffering is more important than happyness in *eternity*.

You are forgetting that for Christians, those who choose to lose this life on Earth, get one in eternity.

[Edited on 3-12-2003 by Megaquad]

I agree with Forsaken... and I've talked to homeschooled kids AWAY from their parents. The big thing they complain about is loneliness and the second big thing they complain about is that they can't get away from their parents. It's not bad when there's no real issues but if they get in trouble, they're around the person who scolded/punished them all day, and that person doesn't have time to defuse.

Under certain situations, that's more dangerous and more harsh. If you go to school and the teacher gets mad at you or doesn't like you because of something you did, you're out of their reach for part of the day and all of the weekend.

If the teacher is your parent, you get it all week. Anger issues can develop between parent and kid more easily.

Originally posted by observer
I think this member just came in to tell us all we are bad parents for not being able to stay at home and home school and/or to regale us with their unstoppable goodness and purity.
If I had my druthers I would probably home school my son until Jr. High but alas, my wife and I have to work so we can feed the young one and not live in a cardboard box outside the shelter.

Sounds like you harbor some resentment or insecurities about your own parenting abilities. Machine hasn't attacked anybody about this subject, or tried to sound holier than thou. I'm sure you are a wonderful parent and unfortunately most parents do have to work to make ends meet. If he is able to make it work, more power to him.

What is wrong with goodness & purity anyways? Why is it a bad thing to represent those qualities? He obviously cares a great deal about the example he sets for his children, and the only person who should resent that, is a person who doesn't set a good example themselves.

There are many good parents that work and raise their kids. The most important thing a child requires from their parents or parent is love. If they have that, all other obstacles can be overcome.

Originally posted by Byrd
I agree with Forsaken... and I've talked to homeschooled kids AWAY from their parents. The big thing they complain about is loneliness and the second big thing they complain about is that they can't get away from their parents. It's not bad when there's no real issues but if they get in trouble, they're around the person who scolded/punished them all day, and that person doesn't have time to defuse.

Under certain situations, that's more dangerous and more harsh. If you go to school and the teacher gets mad at you or doesn't like you because of something you did, you're out of their reach for part of the day and all of the weekend.

If the teacher is your parent, you get it all week. Anger issues can develop between parent and kid more easily.

Almost all homeschooled kids wish they went to public school, and resent their parents for not letting them. Speaking from personal experience though, once I grew up and understood my parents reasons and viewed the subject with a mature mind, I am grateful that they cared enough to sacrifice a more comfortable life so that they could give me the best education they felt was possible. I imagine that many other adults, which were home-schooled as children, feel the same.

As for not being able to escape the person who the student fought with. That can have it's advantages. In real life, we often have to work with people we don't like or have had a fight with. Being forced to deal with an uncomfortable situation, as much as it sucks at the time, helps to build character and diplomatic skills. This is presuming, of course, that the parents are able to practice diplomacy and tact. If everyone shows respect for each other, the closeness in a parent/child relationship can actually strengthen as a result of being homeschooled.

Nyeff,

One of the policies that disturb me about most, if not all public schools, are their often unbalanced enforcement of in school fighting. As a law enforcement officer I was charged with investigating the fight and making a determination as to who the primary aggressor was and then determining what should be done based on the facts. School teachers are taught to respond equally harsh to both the victim of violence and the attacker! They enforce an unfair standard that says simply, if you strike another student at any time for any reason you are wrong and will be punished.

This is madness, but not an uncommon mindset among some of our more liberal thinkers. If my son or daughter was assaulted at school I would expect and encourage him or her to defend themselves with a reasonable amount of force to overcome their attacker. If the situation was one in which they could get to a teacher without the risk of further injury then this would be a reasonable response as well. To simply tell our children that they must remain still and not resist an attack or risk punishment is ludicrous.

Teachers often take the easy way out and turn both the victim and the thug over to the principle for punishment, is this a message we want our children to learn?

Maybe a sit down with the school principle will give you insight as to what the school policy on violence is. Hopefully it�s reasonable and balanced in favor of the victims.

Observer,

You do what you think is best for your children I would never stand in your way or preach to you. I don�t believe my words were directed harshly at anyone in this forum. Were just talking back and forth about home schooling, no animosity intended friend.

Cool kid!

forsakenwayfarer

The Bible teaches me to raise a child up in Gods word so when they are older they will not part with it. Every parent raises their children in a manner that they deem correct, why do you have a problem with my personal choice?

I prefer to raise my daughter up under my teaching and love to build a strong foundation for her to meet the world with. It�s not an illogical way to interact with your offspring. Do you have children?

Gazrok,

You answered your own question, to you Gods kingdom is a fantasy land that doesn�t exist, to me it does exist and our actions here in this world have eternal consequences. I understand why you think as you do if I didn�t believe in God I would agree with you that this world was what counted. Surely you can step outside of your belief system for a moment and see why I act the way I do.

Byrd,

Home schooling your child doesn�t guarantee that he or she will grow up happy, well learned and ready to take on the world but based on the two types of kids I have interacted with in the past (home schooled vs. public school) I�m comfortable with my personal choice.

I hate to turn a education forum into a religous debate but i will offer my opinion on the subject.

For one education needs to come before anything else, yes including Religion. I myself (like i said before), grew up going to both private and then public schools. I feel that going to both i have a semi good understanding of religion and science. The problem with some religions is that they teach only what is in the bible, and anything else is heirachy.

I find this could really harm a child, yes teach her or him about god and let the chose to belive or not. Forced belief is not true belief in something. This harms them into thinking that there is only one answer in the universe. Then when presented with an alternative belief(say science), they already have misgiving towards that person. I have seen this in my life, I happen to belive in god and also in science. No I'm not into the whole scientology thing, or any puesdo-religion.

If you home school them, give them course's on both religion and science. Let them decide which they want to belive more in, god is not always the answer to every question we can ask. He gave us free will for a reason, we have to use it, and let our children us it in the own judgements. I have seen to many people grow up and not respect one another because of religious beliefs.

Also if you teach him/her about christian religion, teach him/her about other religions. This is so that they understand what other people also belive. It will eliminate alot of conflict, because i think most religions are all the same, except the only difference is how its take in contest. You just have to cover all base's in home schooling and give them a chance to take their own path.

Originally posted by jezebel
Sounds like you harbor some resentment or insecurities about your own parenting abilities. Machine hasn't attacked anybody about this subject, or tried to sound holier than thou. I'm sure you are a wonderful parent and unfortunately most parents do have to work to make ends meet. If he is able to make it work, more power to him.

What is wrong with goodness & purity anyways? Why is it a bad thing to represent those qualities? He obviously cares a great deal about the example he sets for his children, and the only person who should resent that, is a person who doesn't set a good example themselves.

There are many good parents that work and raise their kids. The most important thing a child requires from their parents or parent is love. If they have that, all other obstacles can be overcome.

I have been a parent for all of 4 months (and he had a really rough start) so yeah.. I'm a bit new and nervous.
Is being pure and good a bad thing to exhibit? I don't think so, I just got a sense of peity from Machine's comment that rubbed me wrong.. maybe I misread.

Originally posted by observer
I have been a parent for all of 4 months (and he had a really rough start) so yeah.. I'm a bit new and nervous.
Is being pure and good a bad thing to exhibit? I don't think so, I just got a sense of peity from Machine's comment that rubbed me wrong.. maybe I misread.

Congratulations on your baby! When my little brother was born he had a hole in his heart and one of his main heart valves was to small. He had to have open heart surgery at 2 days old and again at 5 years old. It was very hard on my parents and I can only imagine how scared they must have been. I hope everything turns out well with your baby. I'm sure it will, they are resilient little creatures. I don't know any first time parents that aren't terrified that they'll do something to screw up their kids. I'm sure that you are a wonderful parent and will raise a wonderful child. Good luck! I've decided not to take that trip myself. I like the babies that you can send home.

Jay,

I believe that education and Christianity go hand in hand, as do science and Christian thought. Why do you feel that Christian doctrine and science have to be separated?

You claim that teaching a child that there is only one answer in the universe is wrong but I believe that very thing so what your saying in essence is that my teaching is wrong. You have every right to say that and I of course humbly disagree.

You continue to place science in opposition to Christianity but I say they are in complete harmony. You are correct that some parents raise their children to treat others who do not think as they do with contempt, but I can assure you that our family teaches a firm belief in tolerance for others views even when we disagree. I will instruct my daughter on the belief systems of other people, this is important information for her to know, so again, I agree with you.

I disagree with you when you say that most religions are the same, they are very different indeed. If you disagree with me on this ask around and find out what a practicing Christian, Muslim and Hindu believe. You will quickly find that you are wrong to think that we are basically the same, we are completely at odds with one another on every aspect of what we believe God or a godlike force is.

That doesn�t mean that we cannot love each other and treat each other with respect and dignity.

Also, let's try to take this talk back on topic, it is after all an education forum.

Machine

Science is constantly proving Christianity (and other major religions) wrong...but no need to go there...

You answered your own question, to you Gods kingdom is a fantasy land that doesn�t exist, to me it does exist and our actions here in this world have eternal consequences. I understand why you think as you do if I didn�t believe in God I would agree with you that this world was what counted. Surely you can step outside of your belief system for a moment and see why I act the way I do.

Fair enough...so then lets for the moment...say that Heaven exists. You're still more concerned with getting her to this afterlife, than her life on Earth. Why? Don't you think that the life here on Earth is a gift from God? If so, why not enjoy it, rather than indoctrinate fear of the big boogie man in the sky judging your every move? You can still be moral and just without cowering before an absentee Creator....

Well, we'd be getting off the point to go much further...but I hope the brainwashing wears off enough for her to make her own decisions...

All the religious mumbo jumbo aside...I applaud the idea that you are homeschooling your daughter, and taking an active role in her education...and that you recognize the potential pitfalls as well as the benefits. Good luck to you and your daughter....