I'm just TOO SHY...

If you DO what you DON'T want to do, you will eventually overcome this because you will learn that you were being illogical.

Sometimes people have a negative self talk voice in their heads that say youre going to make a fool of yourself, so you don't say anything..

You have no reason to be shy...

TO OVERCOME YOU MUST TAKE THE FIRST STEP...
DO WHAT U DONT WANT TO DO.

GOOD LUCK

Originally posted by NotTooHappy

Originally posted by prophetmike
I'm too shy to approach this girl I like. This is my ONLY problem. If I could overcome this, I would be SO much happier! Anyone have any suggestions? Please?

I would suggest having a few beers than go talk to her. Don't get drunk or anything, just a little loose.

Yea a little liquid courage never hurt. Just not too much to the point of making an a.s.s outta yourself. Or, just go to her with the idea in mind, "if she doesn't like me, then it's her lose totally. And if she gives me any heat, I'll tell her off." Those would be some things to think about. But beware liquid courage!

hey, just to let you know, there is a great site that helps you with shyness and dating: doubleyourdating.com.... it revolves around the dating/courting philosophy of David Deangelo. I've bought his book and it has helped me a lot.
enoy!

I thought this thread WAS DEAD!!! Looks like even MORE people have kind words to say...

THANKS FOR THE KIND WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT!

I still haven't found anyone, but me & the girl from Canada still talk.

I'll let you all know if anything happens.

Thanks again for the kind words... it makes me feel good.

[STAY COOL)
-prophetmike

EDIT: THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY LONGEST THREAD EVER! NICE! Wow. Last time I posted in this thread was Jan. 3rd... HOW TIME FLIES...

[Edited on 17-3-04 by prophetmike]

Woah, blast from the past. Cool man. I can dig it.

I was searching to see if the thread I wanted to create, was already created. And from scanning the links, it has not.

BUT, this thread was a good read.

As far as this thread goes I recommend for anyone having problems with being shy to read through this thread. Men, check your nuts. Women, wear less clothing. Actually, women, don't wear clothing. Thank you.

you can get all the schooling you want on how to pick up chicks.. on gaining confidence, how to approach, what to say, and what to notice. some sources even charge. however, that's not always the answer. usually when the object is to gain confidence in approaching women, it's specific to women, and targets specific points about yourself that are actually stemming from deeper issues that have nothing to do with approaching women. Now I can't help you on any of that, but I can tell you how I deal with it.

I just have one simple solution...that might take practice...but it's the exact opposite of what anyone else would suggest on how to pick up women.

Don't view them as a target, view them as any other person. If you feel you want to talk to them...talk to them as you would anyone else...if you feel you want to engage in an activity...ask them as if they were anyone else. If they decline...accept it as if they were anyone else. That's how romance starts. If you just go up to them shooting for homebase, then there is no longrun; all you have is shortgame, and it practically never lasts unless a miracle happens and you continue to hang out anyways.

The problem guys have with approaching women is that they have all this sexual energy built up inside them, and when they see a girl they like they're about to explode thinking 1st, 2nd, 3rd, homerun without ever considering what the girl is even like, much less how the relationship between you will be like. I don't really have advice on how to lower that tension, but you could just try it mentally...it's what i do.

Another thing, it helps being a gentleman...to all women, regardless. It might help you in the end...finding the one for ya. So it kind of allows you to be a gentleman to her without thought or nervousness.

and if you really want a lesson...learn from a pro on the game and see where he ends up in the movie "Don Jon".

Another thing.. some girls like the awkwardness in boys around them.. they would find it flattering. I would be careful with that though, not all girls find it attractive.

i have to say.. that is the one star on any post i've received on this website i've appreciated. i felt as if i had given valuable heart to heart information from experience trial and error on my own part.

anyways, best of luck to the overly emotional and anxious guys like us.. it can be very difficult for people like us.. it really takes someone who has these exact problems to be able to explain how they deal with it...and it's few and far between to find information like that. no master of the game can teach people like us how to approach women...it takes people like us to share their experiences in overcoming it and how to deal with it.

edit: one more thing.. shyness stems from anxiety. it might do you well to look into going to a psychiatrist that specializes in that sort of thing.. i'm definitely not a pill pusher by any means.. but some anti-anxiety medication can go a long ways..