I'm just TOO SHY...

When I had my first girl, I was too shy to kiss her, but then I kicked myself in my ass and kept repeating in my head: "Do it #er! Are you a man or not?"
And it worked out fine.
So what I'm saying is: Believe in yourself: God won't help you!
Regards
SP

I was talking to some friends and they all told me that it took them a lot of nerve to come out of their shells. They just told me that its a phase... BUT I WANT OUT! I think I just have to take it slowly. It just depresses me when I see my friends with their girls, cuddling and kissing and all of that. I don't want to rush into all of that, but I just want to find SOMEONE. This is the ONLY obstacle in my path to getting someone. Notice my mood under my avatar? "Depressed"

**sigh**, darn shyness.

Your avatar disturbs the hell outta me Christ almighty thats one #ed up clown.

I'm with ya on that!



Hang in there man...it'll happen, and probably when you least expect it...

Originally posted by Gazrok

Hang in there man...it'll happen, and probably when you least expect it...

Thanks, man. I really hope so.

Originally posted by prophetmike
I'm too shy to approach this girl I like. This is my ONLY problem. If I could overcome this, I would be SO much happier! Anyone have any suggestions? Please?

Drugs.
Lot's of coke.
then she'll like you.

Dood. you either talk to them or you don't.
Girls are a dime a dozen, and are not higher then you by any means. don't be afraid to talk to anyone. if they don't like you call them whores.

Booze does lessen the guard a bit...and great for a roll I guess, but sounds like he's pining for the whole relationship thing....

Besides, coke's expensive! (alchohol's cheaper!)

And with coke, you could end up at a hospital for your first date!

There are alot of girls that like shy guys, the only thing is, it is hard to tell when a shy guy is interested in her.
Open up, she may already like you and has no idea how you feel about her.

I second that!


It's confusing!

Prophetmike,

You're obviously an introvert and accepting that is the first step in finding someone truly compatible for you.

I've read that you have no interest in alcohol and I applaud you for your maturity in the matter. Some things are best left for later.

On that note, I can tell you the single greatest skill that has ensured my success as an introvert in these matters is quite simple, wine.

Study wine, study everything you can about wine. And when you're ready, start tasting wines. Don't set out to get "drunk", develop a taste for a fine wine. And in good time, your knowledge and taste will serve you many times over...

Originally posted by kukla
Prophetmike,

You're obviously an introvert and accepting that is the first step in finding someone truly compatible for you.

I've read that you have no interest in alcohol and I applaud you for your maturity in the matter. Some things are best left for later.

On that note, I can tell you the single greatest skill that has ensured my success as an introvert in these matters is quite simple, wine.

I had to look up "introvert" in the dictionary...

But Kulka, you're right. About wine though, I'm not quite sure of what you mean. I'd like to get a little more insight on what you mean. If anyone else has any idea, please let me know!

I'm tired of being lonely...

[Edited on 8-11-03 by prophetmike]

One of the best pieces of advice given to me (not that I'm overly shy, just a little) is that you can pretend to be confident.

When you walk into a room, pretend you're the most confident person in that room - it takes a bit of practice mind!

If you can act like you're confident then, after a short while it will become second natuer and you WILL be confident!

Originally posted by Shaitan
One of the best pieces of advice given to me (not that I'm overly shy, just a little) is that you can pretend to be confident.

When you walk into a room, pretend you're the most confident person in that room - it takes a bit of practice mind!

I've had many people tell me the same exact thing. I've never tried it, but now that someone else has suggested it, I think I will. Thanks, Shaitan.

I see her EVERYDAY and cannot even udder a little "Hello." GRRRR!!! I feel sooooo stupid...
:bnghd:

Social Anxiety?

"Thank you...

Well, I want to thank all of you for your advice. I just want to say to those who mentioned alcohol, that I'm a senior in High School and I don't touch the stuff."

Here in lies your problem, and solution. I don't know how old that makes you. But the legal drinking age in the US sucks, you only have to be 18 here in the Uk, I've been going to pubs since I was 16. My advice is to get the girl drunk, have a drink yourself and you will find things a lot, a lot, a lot easier. Trust me.

:w:

And don't forget eye contact, very important. Prove to the girl that you have ambition, confidance and potential, but always remain humble.

Originally posted by Peace
Here in lies your problem, and solution. I don't know how old that makes you. But the legal drinking age in the US sucks, you only have to be 18 here in the Uk, I've been going to pubs since I was 16. My advice is to get the girl drunk, have a drink yourself and you will find things a lot, a lot, a lot easier. Trust me.

No offence or anything but this is Bad Advice for many reasons! First of all even if the Girl you're after would be willing to get drunk with you, it doesn't do much good when you're still too shy to ask her out in the first place. Second, let's say you manage to get the date and you spend it getting tanked with her it will only lead to trouble later on. If you're just trying to get laid then by all means "Here's to you!" :w: If you're actually interested in her (and her in you), using diversionary methods in order to avoid the having to seriously get to know each other is a waste of both of your time. I will still have to be done , not to mention that you may find out too late about an incompatibility that could have been addressed early on without problems arising. Third, and most obvious is that it is never a good idea to depend upon a "Crutch" like drinking, drugs, lies, games, etc. in overcoming personal problems. All you'll really get in the end is a good strong "Co-Dependant" relationship with you "Crutch" of choice.

Prove to the girl that you have ambition, confidance and potential, but always remain humble.

This on the other hand is sound advice! It's honest(I assume anyway), Rewarding, and Real!! Believe me, what is written above is the "Secret Family Recipe" that will get you the girl. Rich or Poor, Athletic or Nerdy does not & cannot stand up against a Confident, Goal Oriented yet Humble Attitude when displayed. It doesn't even matter what direction you're going in most cases, just that you are self motivated and determined about the choices you make is enough. Confident and Considerate People Demand Respect by their Actions because they appear Proud and Stable without the need of Others to Validate it. So "Be" or "Become" that Confident yet Compassionate Self Sufficient Person that "You Know You Are!" You are in fact Offering Yourself to this other person in hopes that they want what "You Are". So if even you cannot find within yourself reason enough to be proud and confident about who you are, then what really do you have to offer this other person? Be supportive to Yourself and Others around you and it will be Returned(Rewarded).

mOjOm

Just play the cool-but-distant game. You should be yourself, but the trick here is to stop flooding your mental circuits with how hot she is... it makes you all tongue-tied and act like a baboon on acid. Trust me, I know. Just be confident, secure with who you are and just go with it... it's not hard, really! Also, consider other prospects... there are many fish in the sea, and do you want to be fishing for sardines, anchovies or mackerel?

There is ONE problem. I got into a little trouble with the police (VERY minor problem) and I think that is also the reason why she hasn't talken to me as much.

I don't know if I went into this earlier... (I may have forgotten) but before this incident, we used to talk (still rarely) but at least we talked. After I returned to school (I was suspended for 2 months), we haven't spoken AT ALL.

What I want to do is show her that I'm not an EVIL person without acting stupid. Also, the fact that I'm shy is yet ANOTHER obstacle in my path.

I want to change. Does ANYONE have advice?


EDIT: Today in school, we were put to work together in a group.
Is this a clue that I should make a move?
PLEASE HELP!


[Edited on 17-11-03 by prophetmike]

Just make sure she knows why you were suspended...

Dude...what the # did you do???

As that's likely a bigger hurdle than shyness. In school, everything is about perceptions, so if she's concerned that her particular "clique" won't like her hanging around with you, you'll need to allay those concerns...

Originally posted by Gazrok
Just make sure she knows why you were suspended...

Dude...what the # did you do???

Everyone in school knows why I was suspended...
I prank-called 911 and said there was a fire... YES, I AM AN IDIOT. I KNOW THAT. :bnghd: I DON'T NEED MORE PEOPLE TO MAKE FUN OF ME.

As that's likely a bigger hurdle than shyness. In school, everything is about perceptions, so if she's concerned that her particular "clique" won't like her hanging around with you, you'll need to allay those concerns...

That's true as well, but I am 100% sure that shyness is also a major factor in the way I act around her.

READ MY EDIT ABOVE! What should I do?



[Edited on 17-11-03 by prophetmike]

I wouldn't make a move just yet..but I'd admit that the prank wasn't the brightest idea...and let her see you then as a mature person who can admit a mistake, vs. some punk...

Use the opportunity to get to know her likes/dislikes, then bring them up later on. It'll show that you paid attention and listened to her...and that's money ;D