So when does the chit-chat start? Right now!

Carrot! Hey there! I have not made it to Banff yet...but, the wife and I are working on a package deal for next year where we will visit Banff for a few days and then take a cruise to Alaska. A two week deal...

I hope you are well...and all my friends here at the Lounge Noir. It isn't very Nior-ish though is it. Not very dark and mysterious. Barkeep...could you dim the lights? Looking for a little proper mood here.

I'm wearing some blah suit with a white tie...collar unbuttoned and a tie hanging uncomfortably around my neck..black wing tips and a great 40s-ish hat. Also a slim moustache..well trimmed.

Okay...now Carrot, you need to put on a white dress with big polka dots with pumps. And of course, a big wide brimmed black hat. Then some nice red lipstick (although no one will be able to see the red due to the darkness, they will know it's red). Then...sit in a dark corner...Okay, now do something Noir-ish.....




[edit on 30-9-2009 by Excitable_Boy]

Originally posted by Excitable_Boy
It isn't very Nior-ish though is it. Not very dark and mysterious.

Would it help if I murdered Jeeves with a candle stick and wedged his corpse into a grandfather clock?

Do we have a grandfather clock? I thought we did.....somewhere.

Whatever...we've got the freezers....the bugger'll stay fresh forever 'til we decide where to put him. As long as the utility bill gets paid....

Drink up!!! Lounge Noir needs the revenue!!!

MrP!!!

Did you meet all the wonderful new people here? And haven't we done a good job of keeping this place up?

Although, that grandfather clock...we got a little short of cash a while back...but don't worry, it fetched a pretty fair price for a yard sale. .... and the freezer sold to very nice family to hold all their garden's bounty....see, we use that ice chest over there....didn't dare sell the ice maker....no, needed that....we got our priorities straight.

Well, I just wanted to drop by for a beer....gettin' in some training for the Lounge Noir Oktoberfest ....uh, we are going to have our Oktoberfest again, aren't we?

Hey, MrP, what's with these new bar snacks? They look and taste like that dissolving packing material. Are we still short money? What else could we sell?

reply to post by MrPenny


Mr. Penny...nice of you to pop in!

Would it help if I murdered Jeeves with a candle stick and wedged his corpse into a grandfather clock?

Of course this would help. Perhaps strafe some pedestrians outside with a Tommy Gun, then hide their bodies in the trunk of an old Cadillac. Find some blind old lady living out in the desert to lay low with. Be nice to her. Make her think you're a swell guy while your picture is flashed over the TV which she can't see and on the front page of the daily rag that she can't read. Smoke cigarettes with no filters. Lucky Strikes would be the choice there I believe.



[edit on 1-10-2009 by Excitable_Boy]

All I know is I needs me some action. I'm bored. I gotta call Phil and tell him I can do some work for him.

*walks over to one of the old fashioned pay phones in the wooden and glass booths on the other side of the lounge*

Yes, operator...give me Winslow-965. Thank you darlin'...........yeah Jake, it's Phil. How you doin'? *pause* Look, I wanted to let you know that I'm open for business so to speak. *pause* Well...I was wonderin' if you could use my services. I don't care how dirty it gets and I don't care if I end up back in slammer. *pause* Yes...I'll do anything. *pause* Fantastic. Thanks Jake, you won't regret it. I'll be there tonight at eleven sharp.

*heads over to te corner and sits at a table. Lights up a Lucky and wonders why some bimbo hasn't asked "what'll ya have" yet*

reply to post by Excitable_Boy


hey sailor -

what'll ya have?

reply to post by Excitable_Boy



Yeah sailor, what'll you have?

reply to post by whaaa


:-)

ahhh - the competition...

Hmmmm...let's see....who is the better bimbo? Sorry whaaa, you lose this one.

Spira....I'm glad you asked darlin'. I'll have a Dewar's on the rocks.

Whaaa...take off that cocktail waitress outfit. You look silly! I know you're an actor and all...but I just don't think a bimbo waitress is a part that your suited for. I mean, you could at least shave and put on a wig....maybe a little make up. Nice legs though...

What's on the Noir agenda tonight? Murder? Mayhem? Madness?

reply to post by Excitable_Boy

Hmmmm...let's see....who is the better bimbo? Sorry whaaa, you lose this one.

yes!

wait...

Spira....I'm glad you asked darlin'. I'll have a Dewar's on the rocks.

comin' right up

Nice legs though...

true - seriously whaaa - nice legs

What's on the Noir agenda tonight? Murder? Mayhem? Madness?

I will always vote for madness

sorry to drink and run boys - but gots to be goin'...

have a mad and happy Friday night

reply to post by Spiramirabilis

I will always vote for madness

Now see...I don't get this. I would go for mayhem all day long. Mayhem is senseless. Madness is because one is crazy. Mayhem is usually for the intelligent yet bored and uninspired.

reply to post by Excitable_Boy


mayhem never seems to work out for me

Originally posted by Excitable_Boy
Mayhem is usually for the intelligent yet bored and uninspired.

Well I'm not intelligent, but I still prefer mayhem. But in a pinch madness will work just fine.

Originally posted by whaaa

Originally posted by Excitable_Boy
Mayhem is usually for the intelligent yet bored and uninspired.

Well I'm not intelligent, but I still prefer mayhem. But in a pinch madness will work just fine.

madness only bothers the sane

:-)

whaaa...you're intelligent so knock of the negative talk.

Ohay...there was a health inspector here last night looking for Mr. Penny. He wanted me to give him his name and number. I guess there were some violations. Mr. Penny here's his info:

Haywood Jablomy - (800) RAT-TURD

Most of his concerns were minor, but he wants to know why there is a naked man doing dishes. He says it's a violation on many levels.



EDIT to add: Hey whaa...I watched Hamlet2 last night. The wife was out with her girlfriend and of the 100s of channeles we have, I cam across that little gem. Actually, it sucked the big one. Didn't you say you were involved in that?

I do like Catherine Keener though. Did you get to meet her? And then what was the deal with Elizabeth Shue being in that? She's a babe....

Did you have a three way with them? I mean... a three way conversation. JEEZ...some of you have some sick minds, really. Dirty and sick.





[edit on 3-10-2009 by Excitable_Boy]

reply to post by desert

What else could we sell?

I currently have one of my kidneys on ebay. The bidding is at $40,000 and there's still two days left. I thought it would be tough to sell one on ebay what with all those kidneys coming out of Iran. I'm hoping for $100,000. Is that realistic for a kidney?

I plan to give all the money to the lounge fund. It's the least I can do for all of you allowing me to be a pain in the arse for all these years.

Jeeves seems to have disappeared. Oh, waitress....waitress... whaaa! What on earth! Is this some of that method acting stuff?? Probably you should stick to variations on the roles you've had. Nice legs, though.

Oh, whaaa, while you're immersing yourself in the character, could you bring me a glass of the MrP's Private Reserve Shiraz ... Yeah, the bottle with the label that looks like MrP took a crayon to a paper bag....

MrP sure has fallen on hard times, 'cause this wine tastes like it's made in bulk by Luigi Gallo, the Gallo brother who every year lost the wine tastings to his older brothers....yech! ... say...wait just a darned minute....you don't suppose MrP drinks the good stuff and rebottles for here? Let me smell the cork...no cork? ... a baggie held on by a rubber band! .... you say it's free today?...ok, I'll take a bottle...

EB, sorry to say, but with the global economy, billions of people, and global financial downturns, the price of a kidney just isn't what it was even a year ago. Besides, you don't owe us a thing. You haven't been the pain in the arse you thought you've been around here. You see, Tucks Hemorrhoidal Pads come in XXXXXLLLLL size, made to look like fancy bar stool covers.

We seem to be split on madness or mayhem. How about a night of each?

Oh, Spira, I still haven't explained my vampire theory, and now I also have to tell you about 006 sandpaper. But now I have to go grocery shopping, so all will have to wait again.

reply to post by desert

Oh, Spira, I still haven't explained my vampire theory, and now I also have to tell you about 006 sandpaper. But now I have to go grocery shopping, so all will have to wait again.

:-)

now I anxiously await both explanations - can't decide which sounds more interesting

Jeeves isn't around. Whaaa's out of his acting "dress" rehearsal. ... I guess I'll just have to get my own Mimosa. Desert, a Mimosa, please. They're free today, want two? Sure!!

Ok, here's my take on the vampire blood surge. Back in the 1950's, the Japanese produced Godzilla, an anti-atomic film. America had The Blob, etal space alien films, at a time when many feared an alien Communist take over.

Now people feel like their life blood is being sucked out of them by work loads, or unemployment, or a stressful home life. Energy (personal and national) vampires. Money being sucked out of their wallets. Or for some, others are out to drain religion out of them. Fear of being the next victim. Wanting that silver bullet. Wanting to thrust that stake into the problem to destroy it. Garlic stinks, so the quick fix is preferable. And it's not just "me", why it could be an entire community!

Oh, the 006 sandpaper. A cheap but highly effective way to smooth away unwanted leg hair. It's like what is advertised, but you can get the same effect by buying 006 sandpaper at a hobby, auto detail, or hardware store. Buy a lot of sheets, tear off a piece and gently buff the skin. 006 is a fine grit sandpaper.

Mimosa, Spirs? I'll make one for you if you want.

haha I accidentally called Spira, "Spirs"....ooh, boy, that second Mimosa did me in. I'm slurring my typing.

[edit on 4-10-2009 by desert]

reply to post by desert

...Now people feel like their life blood is being sucked out of them by work loads, or unemployment, or a stressful home life. Energy (personal and national) vampires...

yes desert - I get that

I like that...

getting your blood sucked out is also very personal - making us feel personally vulnerable

we are waist deep in vampire "stuff" these days - aren't we?

Oh, the 006 sandpaper. A cheap but highly effective way to smooth away unwanted leg hair. It's like what is advertised, but you can get the same effect by buying 006 sandpaper at a hobby, auto detail, or hardware store. Buy a lot of sheets, tear off a piece and gently buff the skin. 006 is a fine grit sandpaper.

OK then - if this works, well, what can I say? I owe you - big time LOL!

had no idea where you were going with that one - soooo glad to hear this

Mimosa, Spirs? I'll make one for you if you want.

oh - absolutely - the official beverage of Sunday morning

pretty to look at, pretty to have - pretty to say

Mimosas for everyone!

haha I accidentally called Spira, "Spirs"....ooh, boy, that second Mimosa did me in. I'm slurring my typing.

(I like Spirs)

:-)

have a wonderful Sunday desert