posted on Apr, 30 2006 @ 01:35 AM
Originally posted by TristanBW9456
As I said I respect them as people but thats the problem. I respect people when they place themselves in a position where they are peers (albiet much
more knowledgable) offering help or constructive criticizm rather than forcing their views upon me without fully understanding my oppinion.
Tristan, I think it is fantastic that you are online, reading this stuff and able to participate in the discussion. I wonder whether I would have had
the insight or self awareness when I was thirteen, way back in 1974. We had no internet, no videotape or dvd or mp3. Even 8 track was still to come.
We had 3 network TV channels and a couple VHF channels (don't ask). I had a transistor radio that only picked up radio stations (no cd's or tapes)
and I loved it. I had no idea what was coming. I wonder what you will be amazed by when you reach 45? I hope I'm there to be amazed along with
you.
I have 10 and 7 year old daughters and I can understand your angst. They are both bright kids, and the 10 year old in particular challenges me almost
every day. It is a challenge because we parents don't always do the exactly right thing. We were kids too once and, believe me, it wasn't that
long ago. We make mistakes. Also, there are times when parents have to direct traffic without dissent. Sadly, at times, we're like cops. We
simply don't always have the time or energy to explain why we need you to do what we need you to do.
My advice is to choose your battles carefully. In other words, when you decide your parents don't understand you, you need to make certain the fight
is worth the effort. You may feel justified challenging them several times each day but trust me, it's not a good idea. We have limited energy -
limited resources. When we get tired, especially after a hard day, we get short and that turns into a battle which you, as a teen, cannot win.
Amazingly, sugar works with parents too. Give them a little love and understanding and you can move mountains. Challenge them and they will react as
though you are the enemy (if subconsciously).
You should expect conflict and sometimes pain. It's part of becoming an adult. Your parents won't tell you because they are protecting you from
fear and pain. It's against their nature. Along with the fear and pain comes understanding and lots and lots of excitement and fun. Try not to
swagger too much around your parents as you come into the knowledge. But at the same time, enjoy it and live it large. God has given you all the
tools to experience life so do so and enjoy it. It is meant to be. Parents have a hard time letting go of the control. It's an incremental thing.
You're not ready for independence and they know that. Enjoy the ride and remember, if they are like my parents, few people will ever love you as
much as your mother and father.
So honor that. Respect that. Love that. Cherish that. Some people never have the chance. And don't get too heavy dude. Thirteen is time for
still being a kid and loving that too! Take care pal and remember one thing ... it's all good.