If you had 3 questions to ask an alien, what would you ask?

I should have had as 1., 2. or 3. What is your uptime?

Sorry for that horrible mistake.

1. Are you our creator, if not; who is?
2. Can I see your world.
3. Is there other life, apart from your people, if so.. are they hostile?

1. What is the purpose of your existance as beings in your own society?

2. What are the forces in the Universe that radiate their own will or energy in the conscience of all living organisms in the Universe to have similar progression in their evolution and similar decision outcome during their existential history?

3. Assuming there is a plain of existence different than the material one, what would differ and how you would describe it?

I would use my dance floor patter
1...Would you like to dance
2...come here often
3...Where you from..
4...3 tits, Awesome!

Ok the last one aint so much a question, more a observation, so still within the 3 question rule.

I'd want to get verifiable information establishing their authenticity, here's an essay I wrote for OMNI magazine on exactly this theme:
www.jamesoberg.com...

Either you didn't do research, or you are very brave, which one is it?

1. Have you found any signs of intelligent life in the universe?

2. If so, where?

3. Why are you here?

I would ask

1. What did your race evolve from?(ape,insect,reptile or whatever)

2. Who was their Columbus equivalent?

3. who was their Neil Armstrong and where did he go?

I would ask:

1. What has your civilization not yet discovered?

2. How do you travel through time/space?

3. Give me the means to propel humanity on earth into a type 1 civ!

a reply to: Distortion

1. can i have your spaceship?

2. can i dissect you?

3. can i have three more questions?

1. So , it was 3 Questions , right ?
2. Are you sure ?
3. OK when can i start ?

Why do you not interfere and remove those evil people that spread death and war all over the world?

Why are you letting our planet die, why don't you help our mother nature?

Who is your god?

I think I would just go nutty trying to think of something normal/sane to ask , it's too big to take in. Imagine if we could do this for real ?? I honestly can't think of something relatively normal , other then asking about their sex life :p
or maybe how many other species they have met , do they believe in an after life . Well there's three

Are your females hot?
Do you like music?
Are we related at all?

Favourite dinosaur?
Favourite non pornographic magazine to masturbate to?
Did we just become best friends?

Do you travel through Multiverse?

Is time machine possible?

What food do you eat?

1. Did you spill my pint?
2. You looking at my bird?
3. Why not, what's up with her?

1. Do you know a man called Greer
2. Can you take him to planet a planet full of horny bisexual baboons.
3. Repeat step 2

originally posted by: oldcarpy
1. Did you spill my pint?
2. You looking at my bird?
3. Why not, what's up with her?

1. No, I always leave a slime trail wherever I stand
2. I don't have any eyes, how could I
3. You kidding me? She doesn't have scales, has large lumps on her chest, and breathes air. Ughhh

originally posted by: Denoli
1. Do you know a man called Greer
2. Can you take him to planet a planet full of horny bisexual baboons.
3. Repeat step 2

Can they also take Delonge.
And what do you have against the poor baboons