"Masonic" Handshakes and Other Nonsense...

Ha! Hahahahaha! Haaaaaaaaahahahahahaaa!

These guys are killing me. OK I was just perusing a few sites, looking for info on the ratio of Judges in Wales who are Freemasons to judges in Wales who are not Freemasons, and I came across some truly hilarious stuff.

These anti-Mason folks really make me laugh. Check these out:

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[edit - resized image]

OK look at the picture. How is this any different than a normal, man-to-man handshake? It's the same one I use every time I meet or greet someone (Having been raised in the South I tend to make mine firm; nothing worse than a limp-fish handshake).

Here's another, supposedly "revealing" some Masonic connection...



Again, how does this look any different than any other normal handshake?

It baffles me the lengths some people will go to make something of nothing.

OK so I have an idea. It will be peppered with dribble, I'm certain, but in the spirit of levity, let's make a thread of the most hilarious and far-fetched claims against Masonry we can find. Found a cuckoo site spreading stuff that just makes you want to laugh? Post it here. I started off with the pics and I will add more as time allows.

Let's show some folks just how ridiculous some of these anti-Mason sites can be.

I know there are some doosies out there, let's round 'em up, fellas.

[edit on 5/24/05 by The Axeman]

Wow!

I have seen some pretty outlandish sites, but this one is definitely up there! That looks NOTHING like a masonic handshake! If these guys had bothered to do a bit of research, they would not have made themselves look so idiotic.

here's another funny site:

www.cuttingedge.org...

i found a picture saying that if you shake someones hands and your thumb touchs there knuckle then its "masonic" but it doesn't look like they are doing that in those pics i would post the pick but the website i got it from gave me a viruse . but good thing i have a good viruse removing softwear.

Fact: there is more than one handshake.

Fact: John Cleese's version may or may not be one of them.

None of those poofy thumb things for me, give me a lion-like grip any day.

Originally posted by MaskedAvatar
None of those poofy thumb things for me, give me a lion-like grip any day.

I prefer the grip we use where you grab the guy's elbow, slide your other arm in between, wiggle your nose and... well, you know the rest. Oops... did I say too much?

Wiggle our nose? Seriously Sebatwerk, can't we keep ANYTHING secret?

Next thing you know the antis will be trying to claim that is satanic.

Originally posted by Masonic Student
Wiggle our nose? Seriously Sebatwerk, can't we keep ANYTHING secret?

Next thing you know the antis will be trying to claim that is satanic.

Right, because "nose" has 4 letters in it.
Everybody knows that 4 squared (4 x 4) = 16.
And 16 + (4 / 2) = 18.
But if we take 18 / 3, it equals 6 6 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nooooooo!!! Freemasonry really IS satanic! I will quit tomorrow! I hope that doesn't mean my toilet will be tampered with!

Sebatwerk
Bill Hicks is rolling over in his grave right now...

I wish I had known him when he was alive, I would have told him to crap in the woods. I give you the same advice should you ever want to break free from the brotherhood.

Originally posted by MaskedAvatar
None of those poofy thumb things for me, give me a lion-like grip any day.

Lion? My "paw" always told me to use a strong grip, you know, the kind that can raise the dead.

Signs & Grips Monkeys, not just for being recognized anymore...

Originally posted by sebatwerk

Originally posted by Masonic Student
Wiggle our nose? Seriously Sebatwerk, can't we keep ANYTHING secret?

Next thing you know the antis will be trying to claim that is satanic.

Right, because "nose" has 4 letters in it.
Everybody knows that 4 squared (4 x 4) = 16.
And 16 + (4 / 2) = 18.
But if we take 18 / 3, it equals 6 6 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nooooooo!!! Freemasonry really IS satanic! I will quit tomorrow! I hope that doesn't mean my toilet will be tampered with!

hahahhaha, everytime i see a website that says masons are bad they allways add stuff like this.

HOLY COW! (And I do mean holy!)

This is from the fellas that are supposed to be anti-Masonry...



www.cuttingedge.org...

OMG it's the grip of the Holier-than-thou International Freemason Bashers!!!

Or is it the grip of the Incoherently Driveling International Order of Trolls (I.D.I.O.T.)???

Either way, it DEFINITELY looks eeeeeeeeevil and nefarious to me.

And just look at all the goodies for sale!!!

www.cuttingedge.org...

At only $30.00 a pop, what a bargain, too!

What does it cost, maybe 2 bucks (if that) to produce and package those videos? You'd think if they were really about "sending a message" that they would just give the tapes away? I mean after all, what is a "saved soul" worth?

Now seriously folks, how much of that proverbial "phat cash" do you think goes into the hands of a worthy charity, or someone in need, and how much into the pockets of the "ministry"?

I'd say it's probably less than one would hope...

To Potter, or not to Potter...

[edit on 5/24/05 by The Axeman]

Originally posted by The Axeman
To Potter, or not to Potter...

Dude, that's AWESOME!!! I never thought that religious freak fundamentalists would have such a problem with Harry Potter!

This is a full 2 hours of teaching about the Harry Potter phenomenon and what parents should do about it.

I didn't know parents should do something about it...?

Bill begins the video with some of his Satanic background so that all watching can see that he speaks from a position of experience in Witchcraft and Satanism.

Dude, they're promoting a video made by a satanist!!! Of wow! What hypocrites!

It is filled with well researched information that will help you in dealing with friends or church members who feel they can read and watch Harry Potter and still have a good relationship with God.

Sigh... these guys are so "cutting edge".


[edit on 25-5-2005 by sebatwerk]

so, tell me [or not] if this page is full of BS;

www.gaiaguys.net...

i've seen the Five Points of Fellowship embrace demonstrated in various documentaries, and i truly hope it's not real...

"The Five Points of Fellowship is demonstrated as the Worshipful Master and candidate embrace one another thusly: foot to foot; knee to knee; breast to breast; hand to back; and cheek to cheek, or mouth to ear. While in this position, and at low breath, the Worshipful Master then whispers "Mah-Ha-Bone" into the ear of the candidate."

oh my - sounds kinda erotic, don't ya think?

www.gaiaguys.net...
This is the 'grand hailing sign of distress'???

Couldn't you guys pick out something a little less, well, obvious???

[edit on 25-5-2005 by Nygdan]

really, if they are doing a piece on the handshakes, they could at leat post the pic of a real one

Originally posted by duskboy
so, tell me [or not] if this page is full of BS;

Couldn't tell you; but based on the other "info" I've seen on that page, I wouldn't put much weight into what is presented there.

"The Five Points of Fellowship is demonstrated as the Worshipful Master and candidate embrace one another thusly: foot to foot; knee to knee; breast to breast; hand to back; and cheek to cheek, or mouth to ear. While in this position, and at low breath, the Worshipful Master then whispers "Mah-Ha-Bone" into the ear of the candidate."

oh my - sounds kinda erotic, don't ya think?

No, no, no! you've got it all wrong. The have to wear red ruby slippers, click their heels together three times and say "There's no Ma-Ha-Bone, there's no Ma-Ha-Bone, there's no Ma-Ha-Bone!"

Geez, you guys can't get anything straight.

[edit on 5/25/05 by The Axeman]

This is clearly demonstrated in this eeeeevil picture of a dollar, in which the eye (an Illuminati reference to be sure) of George Washington (OMG wasn't he a Mason!?) is not only accented, but even illuminated!

The "web" of conspiracy unravels before our very eyes...

Originally posted by Nygdan
This is the 'grand hailing sign of distress'???

Couldn't you guys pick out something a little less, well, obvious???

No Nygdan, that is not the sign. Close, but no cigar.

Originally posted by duskboy
so, tell me [or not] if this page is full of BS;

That page takes all its images from the same source that Freemasonrywatch.com does, where MOST exposes do, and is the same source as where Nygdan got the Distress signal. It is a book sold in many bookstores. Like I said: they are close, but no cigar. All these signs are actions, which involve (sometimes complex) movements. That is something that these images do not represent, and which is not mentioned in the explanation.

That is all I will say.

Post button slippery than a greased goat at an Initiation.

Repeat after me: ATS post, one each.

Dismissed.


[edit on 25-5-2005 by Major Discrepancy]