It would be nice sometimes to not have to deal with everything alone

originally posted by: ancientlight

originally posted by: Brotherman

originally posted by: ancientlight
I'm reading a novel right now at night in bed, and I'm alone plenty, I'm used to that. I've no issues with being by myself, I prefer it.
There are gators, mountain lions and whatnot in the woods here . Nope would never go by myself.
I have no gun , do have some pepper spray but in these situations that's useless.

This was more about being 100% about feeling stressed with all responsibilities. To de-stress is highly needed, but the things that would be de-stress me are not possible.
I have social anxiety as well, so going to an amusement park by myself is out of the question.

I used to live in the Netherlands and would go out seeing movies by myself often, but not since the last 15 or so years.
Living in the US doesn't help for doing these activities , especially trying them alone.

You sound like you need a German Shepard Puppy =D

Dogs stink, would be a fancy rat for me

Yes of course but you just understand that fancying rats aren't likely to bring a lot of gentlemen suitors, or friends, unfortunately, most people have a serious rat aversion.

So where did this rat fascination come from? sounds like my daughter she loves anything that makes most girls scream and cry.

Certainly, there have to be some rat-tolerant guys especially if you live in a decent size town or city?

a reply to: ancientlight

Well then I'm out of proposals.
A big bag of good wishes &
May you find exactly what you need

Hoi nederlandse

You can always PM me, so we can talk a little. We all need a shoulder sometimes.

Kan ik je nederlands up2date houden

a reply to: ancientlight

My Sister, I think you can read my mind. It's a #ing #hole world out there and the other side is winning. Please find some small Solace that we all feel the same way. Hope is inherently human and all we mere humans have left. I know it is for me. I live in a dilapidated RV in the middle of the Florida swamp relying on solar, cellphone hotspot and a shallow well, having lost everything I had, due to the other side. No retirement for me. I should appreciate the short retirement I was afforded before being forced back in the force due to the economy and losing life savings, but I don't. I want things back the way they were, however, we know that isn't going to happen. What is happening is that we are realizing we are all in this together. You, me and Them. You are strong. I've seen your posts. We are here for you spiritually even if we are unable to be physically. Love is all I have left and I extend mine to you.
❤️💫🌹

a reply to: ancientlight
About OCD, you should see my spices shelf lol, sorted by color of the spices, same with tea, just can't help it.

Think of it instead of weighting down, it's being orderly and systemic.

Or even better example, when I do the startup sequence on my fun car, I do that always the same, same moves, same flicking of switches iterating down the fingers until the thumb hit's the start button. Why? It feels nice and smooth and it builds confidence. It tell me that I am the operator of this machine now.

You have to be smarter than yourself. Once you identify the why, you can tackle that and reprogram yourself. One of my best examples. Had a real bad accident in my past and refused to get into a car, even when I was let out of hospital, I walked home on crutches. 13km with breaks in between. Took me until nightfall while my foster dad was driving beside me trying to talk me into it. Butt naked fear, not a thousand horses would have been able to pull me in there.

One day, after working on a car with my foster dad (my uncle) and it was time to test it. So he gave me the keys and was like: "your turn". My hands shook when I tried to fumble in the key, heart beating, cold sweat. I had no license back then but growing up on the land, I had moved cars and tractors from the age my feet could reach the pedals, on the premise. So I knew how but the fear in me. That was two years after the accident and I already acclimated to riding the bus.

Still have almost every second in my mind sharp in memory like yesterday. When I overcame the fear, turned the ignition and started to roll. Anxiety a bit of panic. And then my uncle pulled the handbrake in a corner without telling me and I did my first drift, saved it and then I got out and puked instantly.

Then I got into the car and for the first time I really felt it. Felt the car, the road, the connection I can have with it. And today cars is my world.

Two things clear from it: Overcompensation and you don't need to necessary puke, but overcoming anxiety is often a head thing, so I use my head to talk myself out of it. And it's not like an internal dialogue, today I know: You can do almost everything, achieve so much, if you just tackle it.

Okay that might not work with a partner lol but I think you understand

cheers

originally posted by: Sander1976
Hoi nederlandse

You can always PM me, so we can talk a little. We all need a shoulder sometimes.

Kan ik je nederlands up2date houden

Bedankt

originally posted by: Elvicious1
a reply to: ancientlight

My Sister, I think you can read my mind. It's a #ing #hole world out there and the other side is winning. Please find some small Solace that we all feel the same way. Hope is inherently human and all we mere humans have left. I know it is for me. I live in a dilapidated RV in the middle of the Florida swamp relying on solar, cellphone hotspot and a shallow well, having lost everything I had, due to the other side. No retirement for me. I should appreciate the short retirement I was afforded before being forced back in the force due to the economy and losing life savings, but I don't. I want things back the way they were, however, we know that isn't going to happen. What is happening is that we are realizing we are all in this together. You, me and Them. You are strong. I've seen your posts. We are here for you spiritually even if we are unable to be physically. Love is all I have left and I extend mine to you.
❤️💫🌹

Hi, I don't think I've seen you around the boards much Your situation sounds pretty bad tbh. I feel bad complaining because you're much worse of. You're in Florida as well ? How did you situation happen? You don't have to answer if you don't want, just chatting. Thank you for replying with such kind words

originally posted by: TDDAgain
a reply to: ancientlight
About OCD, you should see my spices shelf lol, sorted by color of the spices, same with tea, just can't help it.

Think of it instead of weighting down, it's being orderly and systemic.

Or even better example, when I do the startup sequence on my fun car, I do that always the same, same moves, same flicking of switches iterating down the fingers until the thumb hit's the start button. Why? It feels nice and smooth and it builds confidence. It tell me that I am the operator of this machine now.

You have to be smarter than yourself. Once you identify the why, you can tackle that and reprogram yourself. One of my best examples. Had a real bad accident in my past and refused to get into a car, even when I was let out of hospital, I walked home on crutches. 13km with breaks in between. Took me until nightfall while my foster dad was driving beside me trying to talk me into it. Butt naked fear, not a thousand horses would have been able to pull me in there.

One day, after working on a car with my foster dad (my uncle) and it was time to test it. So he gave me the keys and was like: "your turn". My hands shook when I tried to fumble in the key, heart beating, cold sweat. I had no license back then but growing up on the land, I had moved cars and tractors from the age my feet could reach the pedals, on the premise. So I knew how but the fear in me. That was two years after the accident and I already acclimated to riding the bus.

Still have almost every second in my mind sharp in memory like yesterday. When I overcame the fear, turned the ignition and started to roll. Anxiety a bit of panic. And then my uncle pulled the handbrake in a corner without telling me and I did my first drift, saved it and then I got out and puked instantly.

Then I got into the car and for the first time I really felt it. Felt the car, the road, the connection I can have with it. And today cars is my world.

Two things clear from it: Overcompensation and you don't need to necessary puke, but overcoming anxiety is often a head thing, so I use my head to talk myself out of it. And it's not like an internal dialogue, today I know: You can do almost everything, achieve so much, if you just tackle it.

Okay that might not work with a partner lol but I think you understand

cheers

Thank you. You definitely have had more reason than me to stress about driving, as I've never been in an accident. But I'm also nearly 50 and I have never been on the interstate by myself! Most Americans would do a backflip and head-explode if they heard that
Your uncle knew what he was doing it seems with the overcompensating. Would be me going on the interstate with no warning by myself

a reply to: ancientlight

haha no it's me who overcompensated. I am aware of it. Think about it. No cars and then 101%. It carried over. To this day I enjoy challenging myself and pushing to new limits, in a somewhat more safe manner. When I think me feet are hurting, I walk on and when I think I can't take it anymore, I walk a few thousand more, turn around and think "# yes!".

The handbrake thing, he could not know the outcome really. It could have been the complete opposite me just running home completely traumatized. It wasn't but it could have.

To carry on with the car analogies but trying to keep the metatopic visible: You know what get's most? It isn't the acceleration. It's the braking. Everyone is brave accelerating through. Braking, it's when the brain tells you that you won't make it. Won't be able to do this or this. Countless times I learned that my brain just tricked me because it compares the experience to other's before. Well until I overshot the corner and went over the curbs.

But that's life. Hope I could wrap it so it makes sense for you.

Anyways. There's a lid for every pot we say. This includes you.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: SeaWorthy
Lol! So you would stay around and chat with people adoring on the new beloved holy day?

One, it's been around since the 1800's, and two, my buddy's family who celebrate it make some mean soul food on that day, so, yeah, I don't have an issue with it.

This is the kind of dopey mentality that I'm talking about.

Really? Well maybe you should think of all the causes and people that we don't close the banks for nor give a day of their own!

originally posted by: ancientlight

originally posted by: SeaWorthy

originally posted by: chris_stibrany
There are plenty of mountain lions and whatnot in the woods where I live too. That's not stopped the majority of people from hiking alone. Most predator animals avoid people.

It sounds like you are letting fear rule your inner desire to experience life.

If you can go to the movies alone in NL you can do the same in US. I have done the same in both countries...

best of luck to you.

a reply to: ancientlight

I kind of get the impression the OP is saying they would like to share some things and NOT do them alone.
Seems everyone focused of why they don't just go ahead and do things alone. Lol!

Loloolollol. You don't know sh*t about me so stop being so damn judgmental. I don't owe you any explanation , but for my own sake, I used to do these things all the time alone living in the NL, but not since I moved here.
Social anxiety and general driving anxiety don't help. I love being alone, in fact I prefer it as most people are a**holes, but because of anxiety it's easier to do these things with people I feel comfortable with.
Things have changed a lot too over the years , that doesn't help, I would prefer things staying the same (movie theaters etc).

Well I am sorry but you seem to have REALLY misunderstood what I said.
Basically I said just what you repeated back to me!
I was simply trying to explain that to some who in the thread who seemed to think you were looking for something else.
Judgmental !! ha I totally have close Family who are exactly in the same boat and I understand well.

You said

Can't remember the last time I went on a rollercoaster or the last time I took a hike through a forest or mountains
I wouldn't do these things alone, there is really no inner circle to do these things with.

originally posted by: ancientlight

originally posted by: Elvicious1
a reply to: ancientlight

My Sister, I think you can read my mind. It's a #ing #hole world out there and the other side is winning. Please find some small Solace that we all feel the same way. Hope is inherently human and all we mere humans have left. I know it is for me. I live in a dilapidated RV in the middle of the Florida swamp relying on solar, cellphone hotspot and a shallow well, having lost everything I had, due to the other side. No retirement for me. I should appreciate the short retirement I was afforded before being forced back in the force due to the economy and losing life savings, but I don't. I want things back the way they were, however, we know that isn't going to happen. What is happening is that we are realizing we are all in this together. You, me and Them. You are strong. I've seen your posts. We are here for you spiritually even if we are unable to be physically. Love is all I have left and I extend mine to you.
❤️💫🌹

Hi, I don't think I've seen you around the boards much

Your situation sounds pretty bad tbh. I feel bad complaining because you're much worse of. You're in Florida as well ? How did you situation happen? You don't have to answer if you don't want, just chatting. Thank you for replying with such kind words

That's because my sentiment doesn't usually jive with the moderators' sentiments and they remove my posts. Don't feel bad for me. I'm a Sagittarian and Dragon. I don't let things get me down. They may piss me off, but I usually don't get depressed until I'm at the mercy of others' judgement, then it reminds me how #ed we are as a society. How did it happen? All at once, lol. Top to bottom in less than 4 years with a lot having to do with Obama's policies. Was okay through Trump and was bouncing back until Obama 2.0 took office. Trying to get back in the workforce, but people don't typically hire 58 year olds who are smarter and more capable than them. It's true you have to act dumb nowadays. Regardless, I have hope that something will come along. I've streamlined a lot of finances whittling them down to 2 bills: phone and car insurance. I'm a human. I adapt. Yes, I'm in Florida, in the cow fart capitol of the world, Okeechobee. Originally from Palm Beach, but was in the Navy 6 years and lived in NYC for 25 years and DC for 3 years. I've worked for 1 Pope, 4 Presidents, 5 Congressmen and 233 celebrities, amongst others. What all that taught me is that no one human is better than the other. Our life is just as important to us as others is to theirs. I find it's better to give everyone their due and discount no one.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, suffering ____and it's all over much to soon" Woody

Only God or Beast can be truly alone, but when you want things done right, do it yourself.

originally posted by: SeaWorthy

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: SeaWorthy
Lol! So you would stay around and chat with people adoring on the new beloved holy day?

One, it's been around since the 1800's, and two, my buddy's family who celebrate it make some mean soul food on that day, so, yeah, I don't have an issue with it.

This is the kind of dopey mentality that I'm talking about.

Really? Well maybe you should think of all the causes and people that we don't close the banks for nor give a day of their own!

I totally agree...

The poor sad snowflakes should not only have their own day but federally funded safe places where they can gather and whine about how their life sucks. Perhaps even have their very own web site....

oh wait....