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originally posted by: grey580
a reply to: OccamsRazor04
You're comparing apples to oranges. The OP spells out the reasons for the abortion.
My pregnancy was fine, but at 31 weeks I felt the baby moving irregularly. A scan showed that the baby was having seizures and extensive intracranial bleeding. The baby was going to be severely brain damaged, with a horrible prognosis. It was suffering, or not suffering — I don’t know, I don’t want to think about it.
The pediatric neurologist recommended that we have an abortion.
We consulted with a prominent Orthodox rabbi, who consulted with both medical specialists and leading Halachic experts and guided us to go ahead with it.
We kept this quiet — we live in a conservative suburban Jewish community, and we were concerned about how we would be judged.
Given that we were after the cut-off mark of our state, we had to go to a clinic in Colorado. I went to a dinky clinic with a doctor that completely lacked bedside manner. He charged us over $10,000; we put it on our AmEx.
The doctor said he saw frum people before; he told us that we are not the first people with yarmulkes.
They took me down to the basement — my husband wasn’t allowed to be with me for the actual procedure — and I received an injection and… waited for the heartbeat to stop.
I flew home to deliver. I delivered three days later, after being induced. It was a relief.
My rav paskened that we not see the fetus, or the gender, and that we not be involved at all in the burial.
Baruch Hashem, we had a rav, a wonderful posek, who was really amazing, who helped us through the entire process, helped us understand this experience through Halacha. We found so much comfort in the fact that Halacha had an answer, a system with which we could deal with the loss.
We have gone through infertility before; I’ve had multiple natural miscarriages. But nothing prepared us to go out of state to an abortion clinic. The fact that we had to travel out of state, and go to an abortion clinic with a doctor that we didn’t trust, because we had no other option — and have an abortion in a basement of a medical complex that was not our hospital, without our regular support staff — was so difficult. It was undignified. It was a simple two-second procedure — why did I have to go all the way to Colorado? God forbid if it happens to anyone — where are we supposed to turn? Where will we send women? We almost had to go to Israel to be able to follow Halacha. Israel recognizes that there is room for this, in Halacha.
When you don’t have a choice, you really don’t have a choice. This was a very wanted pregnancy. We are frum. I follow Halacha (I ask a rabbi for permission to use birth control). We went to a rabbi for this decision — and we knew that this was the Halachic response that was most appropriate.
The challenging part for us was that the American legal system made it so difficult for us to follow Halacha.
It had taken me over a year to get pregnant. At my 12-week scan, they discovered a small “shadow” to the side of the uterus. I had a twin pregnancy: one healthy fetus in one side of my uterus, and a molar pregnancy in the other side.
In London’s best hospital, we were given a dark prognosis: I was at risk of cancer because of abnormality of cell growth. The definitive study showed less than 30% of survival for the baby if I decided to carry on the pregnancy. The likelihood would be a very premature birth, and also a high chance I’d need to be operated on, which if that happened before I reached a certain point in the pregnancy, this would have high risks for future fertility.
I was devastated. Our local Orthodox rabbi was very supportive and from the outset said that it is I who determines the decision and that Halacha supports both decisions. He referred us to a dayan (rabbinic judge) as well.
Our rabbi was amazing. He sat with us. He told us of a personal loss that he has never discussed with anyone. We all cried. He was sensitive and respectful, and he did not try to throw any agenda or ruling onto us. His wife followed up with support and meals delivered to our home.
I had a D and C to terminate the pregnancy.
Two years later, after a high-risk pregnancy, I gave birth to healthy twins.
I often think back sadly to the baby that was healthy, that I decided to abort. It still saddens me, even though I know it was probably the right thing.
During my 20-week anatomy scan, the sonographer detected severe problems with the baby.
It was agony. This baby was beyond wanted. But his prognosis was so bad that we knew he would have no quality of life if he were to even make it to birth, and that continuing the pregnancy would severely impact our family.
We spoke to our rabbi, who consulted with a gadol [great rabbi]. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but the message was that, not only was this halachically permissible, given the prognosis of my baby, it was something I should do.
I went through a range of emotions — grief, agony, despair, anxiety, acceptance — and back again. Right before the procedure, it felt horrible. To know that you are submitting and lying there while doctors end your pregnancy and while you want a child more than anything. Even if it’s the right decision, it defies comprehension.
When it was over, I held my baby. He was lifeless, but beautiful. You couldn’t tell what was wrong with his insides. We buried him.
The emotional aspect of it was the hardest afterwards. It was grief and pain. It’s recovery from pregnancy and childbirth without a baby. It’s your milk coming in with no baby to feed. It’s avoiding the room you expected to turn into a nursery.
To anyone who hasn’t been there, abortion is a theoretical issue. And no one ever thinks they will have to deal with it on a personal level. Until you do.
It’s all well and good to have your opinions about abortion, but you really don’t know what you’re talking about until you’re in the situation. Halacha is compassionate and we should be, too.
originally posted by: LSU2018
a reply to: Xcalibur254
So religious freedom for Jews is more important than the life of an innocent child?
originally posted by: SirHardHarry
originally posted by: LSU2018
a reply to: Xcalibur254
So religious freedom for Jews is more important than the life of an innocent child?
Got a problem with the religious freedom of the Jewish people?
Also, neither a zygote, nor an embryo, is a "child."
originally posted by: SirHardHarry
originally posted by: LSU2018
a reply to: Xcalibur254
So religious freedom for Jews is more important than the life of an innocent child?
Got a problem with the religious freedom of the Jewish people?
Also, neither a zygote, nor an embryo, is a "child."
...nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
noun
noun A living human. Often used in combination.
noun An individual of specified character.
noun The composite of characteristics that make up an individual personality; the self.
noun The living body of a human.
...
"No one can deny that the unborn child is a distinct human being, that it is human, and that it is alive. It is unjust, therefore, to deprive the unborn child of its fundamental right to life on the basis of its age, size, or condition of dependency."
...
However, not only does the Declaration of Independence state no person can be denied the right to life, but the 14th Amendment states in specific:
...nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
originally posted by: Sookiechacha
You don't need due process to exercise your 2nd Amendment rights, but you might need your due process rights afterwords.
If we are catering to Jewish Rodef...
we should start by removing 'duty to flee' laws, right? You know, when someone is actively trying to kill you and you have to run away.