The Dumb Vibe!

Part1

My native language is Dutch. I also speak English, French, German and a little of the main European languages like Spanish and Italian, which I picked up while vacationing there. I've always thought that my English was near to perfect. I can understand it, speak it and write it with the occasional typo's that even native English speakers make.

But I do find that whatever written message I try to bring across, people don't receive it as I intended it to be. An old English FB friend told me it is because of my 'tone'. (What is that even? A written 'tone'?)

The same is happening right here on ATS. I write a post and others respond to it as if I'm attacking them, or read an entire different thing in it.
I'm someone who doesn't like to become caught up in heated discussions, I'm here for the info and I like to keep things civilized. But no matter what, it seems like I'm always driven into defense mode, I seem to make people angry or attacking me.

Even last month on Twitter, one silly harmless post from me resulted in 800+ comments with people calling me a narcissistic b*tch. wtf?
(and yes, right now right here I am ranting about myself but I assure you I'm not a narcissist. For a moment they had me considering the possibility that maybe I was , but NO! I'm far to caring to be that!)

2nd thing that always happen is that people react to me as if I'm dumb. Here, offline, on other social media.
So what is it? Do I sound dumb? Do I act dumb? Do I look Dumb? Do I have a DUMB TONE? ???
No one has basically any idea of what knowledge I have , what my level of education is, what my interests are? (aside from ATS topics)

The more people act as if I'm dumb, the more I feel the urge to proof myself, hens the defense-mode and heated discussions.
Well I'm done with that. I don't have to proof my level of intelligence to anyone!
So from now on, if you can't have a decent, intelligent discussion with me than I'm done! I'm just going to ignore it.

Part 2

Same sort of thing offline (so maybe it's a dumb-vibe!)
I sell electronics for a living. It's all I ever done in my life, I sell anything from cell phones, computers, televisions, washing machines and freezers, small kitchen electronics, air conditioning systems, climate control systems, and I can fill up an hour just talking about one of the above. Of course I have knowledge of how these things work, that's what happens naturally when you work with these items most of your life. In most cases I can even fix whatever is broken. When new technologies come into my store I have a need to learn about it, sometimes test it out ... and hope I can get my hands on a DOA item (dead on arrival) so I can open it up and see what's used inside!

Personally I think that if you want to make the most out of a commission based salary it is key to know your products!
Every time I meat a co-worker who can't explain how exactly a microwave oven works, it amazes me. It's not stupidity, they are not dumb, but they should know their stuff, otherwise they just improvise and fool the customers.
And yet, a lot of clients take a look at me, blond short girl, and decide they want to be helped by a male sales person. They won't even give me a chance... the DUMB VIBE
I don't call my customers dumb when they don't know how to operate their dvd player, or fix their computer, because a lot of people don't know that! But they instead look at me and immediately assume that I don't know sh*t about it.

One lady told me the other day that I should probably "stick to selling my washing machines and call someone else to give them advice on a television. All I asked was "what can I help you with"?
Another one I hadn't even talked to at all flipped her middle finger at me while driving off the parking lot... not a clue what I did to her!

I guess I really do love my job, but I'm so done with dealing with ignorant people!

I AM SO F-ING SICK OF THE DUMB VIBE !!!

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

Do you have an example?

Arrogant and narcists people (a few here at ATS) can magically determine your tone simply based on words.

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

As was already said, you need to post a couple of examples.

Post exactly what you wrote in that tweet.

your post are always cool with me

originally posted by: KindraLabelle2
Part1

My native language is Dutch. I also speak English, French, German and a little of the main European languages like Spanish and Italian, which I picked up while vacationing there. I've always thought that my English was near to perfect. I can understand it, speak it and write it with the occasional typo's that even native English speakers make.

But I do find that whatever written message I try to bring across, people don't receive it as I intended it to be. An old English FB friend told me it is because of my 'tone'. (What is that even? A written 'tone'?)

The same is happening right here on ATS. I write a post and others respond to it as if I'm attacking them, or read an entire different thing in it.
I'm someone who doesn't like to become caught up in heated discussions, I'm here for the info and I like to keep things civilized. But no matter what, it seems like I'm always driven into defense mode, I seem to make people angry or attacking me.

Even last month on Twitter, one silly harmless post from me resulted in 800+ comments with people calling me a narcissistic b*tch. wtf?
(and yes, right now right here I am ranting about myself but I assure you I'm not a narcissist. For a moment they had me considering the possibility that maybe I was , but NO! I'm far to caring to be that!)

2nd thing that always happen is that people react to me as if I'm dumb. Here, offline, on other social media.
So what is it? Do I sound dumb? Do I act dumb? Do I look Dumb? Do I have a DUMB TONE? ???
No one has basically any idea of what knowledge I have , what my level of education is, what my interests are? (aside from ATS topics)

The more people act as if I'm dumb, the more I feel the urge to proof myself, hens the defense-mode and heated discussions.
Well I'm done with that. I don't have to proof my level of intelligence to anyone!
So from now on, if you can't have a decent, intelligent discussion with me than I'm done! I'm just going to ignore it.

Part 2

Same sort of thing offline (so maybe it's a dumb-vibe!)
I sell electronics for a living. It's all I ever done in my life, I sell anything from cell phones, computers, televisions, washing machines and freezers, small kitchen electronics, air conditioning systems, climate control systems, and I can fill up an hour just talking about one of the above. Of course I have knowledge of how these things work, that's what happens naturally when you work with these items most of your life. In most cases I can even fix whatever is broken. When new technologies come into my store I have a need to learn about it, sometimes test it out ... and hope I can get my hands on a DOA item (dead on arrival) so I can open it up and see what's used inside!

Personally I think that if you want to make the most out of a commission based salary it is key to know your products!
Every time I meat a co-worker who can't explain how exactly a microwave oven works, it amazes me. It's not stupidity, they are not dumb, but they should know their stuff, otherwise they just improvise and fool the customers.
And yet, a lot of clients take a look at me, blond short girl, and decide they want to be helped by a male sales person. They won't even give me a chance... the DUMB VIBE
I don't call my customers dumb when they don't know how to operate their dvd player, or fix their computer, because a lot of people don't know that! But they instead look at me and immediately assume that I don't know sh*t about it.

One lady told me the other day that I should probably "stick to selling my washing machines and call someone else to give them advice on a television. All I asked was "what can I help you with"?
Another one I hadn't even talked to at all flipped her middle finger at me while driving off the parking lot... not a clue what I did to her!

I guess I really do love my job, but I'm so done with dealing with ignorant people!

I AM SO F-ING SICK OF THE DUMB VIBE !!!

I don’t see any anger in your writing but maybe you feel like this dude in this yt vid.

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

It's because that top you're wearing really doesn't go with jeans.....and that hat is far too extravagant for anyone to take you seriously.

I'm just kidding around.

It's hard to have a discussion about anything with some people because they somehow believe that there has to be a winner and a loser.
Everything becomes a debate which becomes competitive in nature and, ultimately, pointless.

It's OK to have different opinions but some folk just will not allow that .

originally posted by: SecretKnowledge
a reply to: KindraLabelle2

As was already said, you need to post a couple of examples.

Post exactly what you wrote in that tweet.

It was a reply on a tweet about what men and woman want in relationships. There where hundreds of replies. I said that a lot of woman posted that making each other happy is high on their list, while none of men posted anything like that.

So that caught a lot of attention, first someone replied to me that 'the world doesn't evolve around me', the next said I was a 'narcissistic B' and it went downhill from there.

I let it go on for two days then I deleted my reply.

originally posted by: Tulpa
a reply to: KindraLabelle2

It's because that top you're wearing really doesn't go with jeans.....and that hat is far too extravagant for anyone to take you seriously.

I'm just kidding around.

It's hard to have a discussion about anything with some people because they somehow believe that there has to be a winner and a loser.
Everything becomes a debate which becomes competitive in nature and, ultimately, pointless.

It's OK to have different opinions but some folk just will not allow that .

yes exactly, a lot of the debate goes off topic very fast and is just pointless in the end.

I'm on ATS since 2008 and I don't remember things being this way before. Even the older ATS members who are still around seem to have changed a lot, where they were fun people to discuss things with before, they now sound bitter and arrogant (not naming names)

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

I get what you are saying (Also Dutch here)...

The problem is you are formulating your posts in your native language and translate them to English.

There is a linguistical/cultural difference in how you address people in your country vs English/Americans.

I know Dutch people are known the world over for being rude and very direct. When I'm speaking with an other Dutchman this isn't noticeable because that's our level of communication. When I translate my response directly to English it will sometimes be interpreted the wrong way.

Just take it in stride.

originally posted by: KindraLabelle2
I'm on ATS since 2008 and I don't remember things being this way before. Even the older ATS members who are still around seem to have changed a lot, where they were fun people to discuss things with before, they now sound bitter and arrogant (not naming names)

Ahhh...you are talking about the mentality and attitude...my bad.

That is the Mudpit in full effect.

Decorum and manners have long left the building.

originally posted by: keukendeur

originally posted by: KindraLabelle2
I'm on ATS since 2008 and I don't remember things being this way before. Even the older ATS members who are still around seem to have changed a lot, where they were fun people to discuss things with before, they now sound bitter and arrogant (not naming names)

Decorum and manners have long left the building.

They were two of my favourite members.

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

"The dumb vibe" isn't coming from you, it's coming from them and they are projecting it on to you.

a reply to: keukendeur

I've learned years ago not to use certain words and expressions in English that are 'normal' to use in Dutch (like the C word )

I didn't think the the minor difference in how we build up a sentence would give an entire different tone to the meaning of it... could be the case though


mentality and attitude is an entire different rant! lol
maybe it's the events from the last 2-3 years, the changes in the political landscape , ... that are slowly getting to people, making us less tolerant and more insensitive

I think I understand you perfectly.
In my experience most consider me white trash because I don't subscribe to the norms of society and that as a dropout I'm completely ignorant.
But when the world constantly forces you to view it from outside the box it's much more difficult to understand why those inside the box of society do what they do...and they shun those who are different.
It makes them feel better to call you dumb, or stupid or that you don't dare step over the boundaries of society expectations of you.( Your knowledge of electronics being a key one for your gender)
The Twitter example, I could easily chalk up to herd mentality and social media is full of it. It's not so much that many would disagree with you,but they would post that they did anyway because it's easier to jump on a bandwagon than walk by yourself.
That's my advice. Walk by yourself, and if anyone chooses to join you it's because you are being yourself.
So the saying goes..."You could be the ripest juiciest peach ever,and there will still be someone who hates peaches."
By the way, I have no issues with your use of English. It's far better than many I went to school with or read elsewhere on line.

originally posted by: Klassified
a reply to: KindraLabelle2

"The dumb vibe" isn't coming from you, it's coming from them and they are projecting it on to you.

I see it happening towards other ppl as well here on ATS, not just me.
Someone enters a discussion, posts a question or a statement that I personally think was well thought through, and they get ridiculous responses to it.

it's sad to see that so many forums became more about getting stars and less about content. And sadly, being rude to someone gives you stars....

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

If your not adding emojis to every sentence or a LOL or a HAHA.
Then people will always find a way to take offence or read too much into something.

Its incredibly difficult to convey emotion via text.
Which is why there's always an internet argument breaking out somewhere.

a reply to: KindraLabelle2
Your written English is very good,not sure what those idiots mean by your tone though.
Secondary school basic French is about my limit.
Just let them think you're a dumb blonde if that's what does it for them,says more about them than you.
Embrace it even,it takes an intelligent woman to play the fool.
Become the narcissist they want you to be.

a reply to: KindraLabelle2

I came to ATS in '08, I liked the fact that, no matter what the subject, the art of discussion always seemed most important.

Go after the subject not the poster, manner and decorum, no one line posts etc etc..

Most of that is still around on ATS but it's those few bad apples (we all know who they are) that are tolerated which spoil the whole bunch.

We're just going to have to outlive them.

Remember insults are the lowest type of argument in a disagreement and not worth the time.

a reply to: keukendeur

The topics themselves are a big part of this. ATS attracts people who are interested in a niche variety of subjects.
There's always good material to be found, even from those we may not necessarily agree with.

Twitter, on the other hand, has an enormous membership and with that comes a greater number of people less inclined to discuss things outside of their own interests or, dare I say.....expertise.
A bit of humour here and there isn't a bad thing but we got posts removed if we get silly.
Twitter seems like a free for all where poor behaviour proliferates and it's easier to dump on a stranger for having different opinions.