Insight on how NOT to be Friend Zoned

Finally someone said it. As soon as one of her friends or even just another girl starts being interested in you the girl who keeps rejecting you will do a complete 180. It's a weird phenomenon but it's been 100% accurate in every experience. Ive known very smart very sexy girls and the rule still always applies. Want girl A? Flirt or even be with girl B.

And not to justify cheating but this is a big reason for guys too. Girls that wouldn't look twice at you alone are now fantasizing about you when you are with someone else. It's a case of "Yes I'm taken, but you wouldn't be attracted to me if I was single..." LADIES WHY IS THIS? I know you can think for yourselves and don't need other girls to tell you what's attractive to you.

Another 100% game changer...a 6 figure bank account lol. You might not be able to buy love but you can buy a whole lot of fun and love every minute. Just pre nup of course. Otherwise no fun...

originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
first stages of relationship control.
I am out, I don't play games.

You made the first move when you ignore where the neutrals are.

If you could imagine exactly how she felt and thought, you would find your (plural) neutral regarding eachother.

It's called empathy.

THEN, you have free choice together. Or not.

originally posted by: glen200376

originally posted by: TheAlleghenyGentleman
a reply to: St0rD

Is she white? White women are codfish. Cold inside. Level up and date a woman from a culture that celebrates love and life.

You're either a racist or one of those self hating whites,which is it?
For your woke information not everyone is attracted to other cultures and creeds.

you sounds like a white woman...

originally posted by: IAMTAT
a reply to: St0rD

Ask her out again...Something like dinner at a very nice place.
After all, what've you got to lose?

Maybe the women here can answer this best but from my experience I think lunch is a better option rather than dinner for dates. I’ve have some very cool dating experiences that develop from meeting people for lunch rather than dinner. I think most of it can be related to the nature of lunch. Here is my thinking:

1. Lunch is time bound which means that their is already an obvious exit strategy and offers preemptive relief of the anxiety of what to do after the meal.
2. Lunch takes away much of the “what to wear” anxiety as well.
3. Lunch is casual. Is just lunch, it doesn’t have the stamp of an “official” date.
4. It provides an obvious topic of conversation with finality... so... how’s work? To “hope works gets better?” Or “hope you close that sale” whatever it is.
5. If you carried yourself well at lunch that person will probably be thinking about you for the rest of the day which would probably lead to a text or call. If not you can hit the person back with the “so how the xx went at work?
6. If you secure another lunch you are in business and probably will be invited to a weekend activity before you even have to ask.

Hope others chime in. I’ve been out of the game for sometime but did have many successes with the lunch “dating” strategy.

originally posted by: St0rD

originally posted by: Wide-Eyes
a reply to: St0rD

From what you've said here, you're too similar.

I think that's why you're friend zoned. You're no challenge to her.

I know it sounds daft but that's often the way it is.

Move on. If she is in fact 'the one' she will chase you.

Yup, exactly what I'm doing right now.

I'm done with her already. My interest for her and the potential we have together is just too huge that if it's not entirely mutual, I'm better off without her. Otherwise I will suffer yoo much.

No offense but it seems to me, as a female, that you get attatched FAR too quickly. You have only ever gone and done something one time with this woman and youre already talking about how you feel like shes the one and youd basically do anything to make that happen.

She can probably sense that, I know most women can, and if she felt the same, by now you would know it, or shes doing what a lot of people do and just keep things casual until someone really really piques her interest.

Like another person said here, and I think they are right, youre TOO similar, sure women want a friend and lover, but they dont want someone who has everything in common with them to the point where theres not really anything really NEW brought to their life.

Again im not trying to be debby downer here, it just seems like youre going far to fast in your head with all of it.

a reply to: St0rD

My dreams showed me I could be friend zoned and I acted accordingly right away. I also had ones where she went with another guy but eventually came back so we could go to a dance together.

Thats called infatuation. Sure its fun to daydream, but to let it lead you around like that is definitely infatuation. Im pretty sure she can sense it and thats why other than work banter and laughs, she keeps it that way

At any rate, Im just a radom woman on the internet so I do wish you the best of luck, but as to your previous statements earlier about "Foff" , its not "games"

Its the push and pull and weighing out of another person and whether they are worth investing time in, or if its something else.

Your reaction honestly , just proves that you werent ready to be in a relationship with her or any other woman at the moment, because you cant even handle the simple adveristy of beginning a courtship without getting irritated, or put out with it.

How will you handle a real relationship when adversity comes?

Sounds to me like you need to work on you a little bit more , and where you are in YOUR headspace for someone ELSE, before makign the leap to give it a go.

I hope all is well and you figure it all out, or at least, the best as any of us have!

(Ps. Married 20 years to a man who was in Special Forces for over a decade, and we would both be on different deployments at a time, we know what adversity is, and how tough it can be, you gotta have the heart for it!)

If a woman is interested in you they will let you know. This is the era of texting. People always have their phones with them, especially women. It is a huge determining factor in dating these days.

Text the woman. If she is interested in you she will reply. Maybe not right away, they have a life. But they will when they have the chance.

If the woman doesn't reply for an extended period of time or the replies are short and don't provoke more conversation that is a big clue of non-interest. If she is interested she will not only reply but will make sure the conversation continues. Not just one word answers after a day or two.

If a woman is interested in a person they will do what they can to be around that person and have that person's attention. When texting you want her initiating the conversations. If you are always initiating that is a sign of non-interest.

Texting early in the morning or late at night will make it that you are the first thing on the person's mind or the last thing at night.

There is a lot that goes into getting a relationship. And you don't have to be the smartest, the wealthiest, or the most handsome. You do have to have self-respect. Walk and talk and act with self-confidence. Dress and groom well.

As for the don't pursue. That is stupid. If you don't someone else will. You can't just sit on the sidelines and expect the woman to do the work. No one is a mind reader. A person will never know your intentions unless you state them. They can guess and they can be wrong.

If you want the woman to think of you romantically you have to take the initiative to let them know you are interested in them romantically.

I should qualify all this with I am married happily for about 25 years and have a son who is going through all this right now. I try and guide him the best I can. He's 20 and I tell him he's still just a kid. But he is a chick magnet. My wife is always having to bat them off of him.

This is my personal advice. What you are feeling sounds like infatuation as some pointed out. Infatuation could lead to real love but it could dissipate as well. And it is dangerous because it does not allow you to see the reality of the other person. A person that is infatuated thinks the other person has no flaws or downplays them. When reality strikes it can be cruel to people like that.

Love on the other hand sees the reality, see the flaws, and will work with them patiently. A relationship will only work if you have good communication and are willing to work things out, compromise, and freely forgive all the time.

That's just my two cents on the matter. I am not encouraging anything one way or the other, and am not advising anything. Just putting my thoughts down.

a reply to: St0rD

Rule #1
Don't date people you work with.
You might break up and create a toxic work space.

Rule #2
See rule #1

Rule #3 Don't date the stripper from Ed's Fantasy girls Reno Nevada.

Rule #4 Don't date the hot Thai lady from the Mustang Ranch near Reno (I-80 east from sparks) Nevada.

Rule #5 Don't date your paramedic students at Truckee Meadows Community College Reno Nevada.

Rule #6 Don't date the lady cop from Reno Police Department.

Rule #7 Don't do what has been done the night of SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 21, 1986

Rule #8 never ever mention SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 21, 1986

Rule #9 a trip with buddies from Reno Nevada to Tijuana on September 21, 1986 must never ever be spoken of again.

And finally... Don't get engaged 5 times. But if it helps, there are 5 engagement rings that yours truly threw in this area.



See Rule #1



Be happy with yourself first

Your already friend zoned if you’ve put this much energy into it and are this torn up and don’t have any sense of what’s happening with your interest.

She’s allowed to go on other dates until you’ve manned up and committed to be exclusive to eachother. You’ve avoided that issue entirely... she’s gonna get some and it ain’t from you. She’s gonna let the other guy do all the work, pick and choose the best from there... while you wait for her to give you a sign.

Go for it or let it go. Also dipping your pen in company ink? In 2021 metoo era? What could go wrong?
a reply to: St0rD

originally posted by: CrazyWater

originally posted by: St0rD

originally posted by: Wide-Eyes
a reply to: St0rD

From what you've said here, you're too similar.

I think that's why you're friend zoned. You're no challenge to her.

I know it sounds daft but that's often the way it is.

Move on. If she is in fact 'the one' she will chase you.

Yup, exactly what I'm doing right now.

I'm done with her already. My interest for her and the potential we have together is just too huge that if it's not entirely mutual, I'm better off without her. Otherwise I will suffer yoo much.

No offense but it seems to me, as a female, that you get attatched FAR too quickly. You have only ever gone and done something one time with this woman and youre already talking about how you feel like shes the one and youd basically do anything to make that happen.

She can probably sense that, I know most women can, and if she felt the same, by now you would know it, or shes doing what a lot of people do and just keep things casual until someone really really piques her interest.

Like another person said here, and I think they are right, youre TOO similar, sure women want a friend and lover, but they dont want someone who has everything in common with them to the point where theres not really anything really NEW brought to their life.

Again im not trying to be debby downer here, it just seems like youre going far to fast in your head with all of it.

While I agree he's infatuated, and in the Land of Wishful thinking, I do have a couple of bones to pick about some of your...assumptions here. Namely the similarities one. Ok, it's just one big bone to pick.

The assertion that we women do not want life partners similar to us is VERY false, please don't make people think that BS is true. I'd not be in my 15th year of marriage (add two more for total relationship length) if it was true as a baseline for women as a whole, which it is not. It's only true for you, and probably not many others. Dissimilarities lead to lack of satisfaction, cheating, and eventually break-ups/divorce. You HAVE to have similarities to build connections, otherwise it's just a shallow short-term interests fetish.

Man. I’m never going to Reno Nevada.

a reply to: Bigburgh

originally posted by: Bigburgh
a reply to: St0rD

Rule #1
Don't date people you work with.
You might break up and create a toxic work space.

Rule #2
See rule #1

Rule #3 Don't date the stripper from Ed's Fantasy girls Reno Nevada.

Rule #4 Don't date the hot Thai lady from the Mustang Ranch near Reno (I-80 east from sparks) Nevada.

Rule #5 Don't date your paramedic students at Truckee Meadows Community College Reno Nevada.

Rule #6 Don't date the lady cop from Reno Police Department.

Rule #7 Don't do what has been done the night of SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 21, 1986

Rule #8 never ever mention SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 21, 1986

Rule #9 a trip with buddies from Reno Nevada to Tijuana on September 21, 1986 must never ever be spoken of again.

And finally... Don't get engaged 5 times. But if it helps, there are 5 engagement rings that yours truly threw in this area.

See Rule #1

Be happy with yourself first

Good advice.

Definitely avoid dating strippers.
Same for porn stars.
Same for actresses.

Crazy Town.

originally posted by: IAMTAT
Good advice.

Definitely avoid dating strippers.
Same for porn stars.
Same for actresses.

Crazy Town.

Left out hairdressers and women named 'Tiffany'.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: IAMTAT
Good advice.

Definitely avoid dating strippers.
Same for porn stars.
Same for actresses.

Crazy Town.

Left out hairdressers and women named 'Tiffany'.

ALL of the strippers I went out with were named 'Tiffany'.

edt: ...and you're right about the hairdressers (Same for massage therapists).


...Also women with pet ferrets.

...and pet boa constrictors.


...and women who wear a LOT of hats with feathers.

a reply to: St0rD

This is me just assuming but the fact that you are so attached with someone from work leads me to believe that you don’t have many social experiences outside of work. Maybe you want to change that and try something like salsa lessons or a runners/coed sports club.

Salsa lessons are great way for you to practice some social interaction with the opposite sex in a controlled environment so it takes away the pressure from feeling the “need” to initiate an advance.

a reply to: St0rD

It's all good though. I'll be alright and I wish her the best.

Right, that's always how we feel when our ego has been shredded, mangled and left hanging out to dry.

Now is the perfect time to connect with women you are "friends" with, tell them your story and reap the benefits. if you know what I mean.

a reply to: IAMTAT

...and pet boa constrictors.

Aaah crud....

Rule #11 if in Reno and you run into Becky with the boa constrictor named Fred.... RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!

a reply to: Dalamax

a reply to: IAMTAT

All true and these post made me laugh pretty hard.

Ladies if you really want male friends an stay, an they are head over heels, just be straight forward, and dont lead them on.

Also try hooking them with a friend nice too.


"Men are stupid, and woman are crazy, because woman are crazy an men are stupid." - George Carlin