Insight on how NOT to be Friend Zoned

a reply to: Wide-Eyes

I'm a man of facts.

Fact #1
We have tremendous potential as romantic partners. The one you don't see often. Whether or not the potential is gonna come to light is in the hands of God and I'm cool with it.

Fact #2
There is a chance she comes around eventually and realize the same thing as I did. At first, I was attracted to her but also kinda repulsed at the same time but eventually it became obvious I wad into her a lot.

So my point is-
How can you be so sure of your bold statements? You never know right. It's all good though, thanks for your insights.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: St0rD

Use the Cuomo sausage sandwich approach, works like a charm.

Yup. Andy gets 'em eatin' out of the palm of his hand.

'Tao of Steve'...works every time.

originally posted by: Wide-Eyes
I don't want to know what that means but lol.

Creepy- Cuomo Tells Reporter He Wants to See Her Eat The Whole Sausage.

originally posted by: St0rD
a reply to: Bluntone22

It's funny because I always told myself I wanted the girl of my life to have no kids so I would be the OG one.

But this girl, I wouldn't care less as long as the attraction proves to be mutual.

You say that now, but Dude how you are with her kids is going to be extremely important in the long run. Sure for now after one snowboard date, it isn't an issue but they come as a set. Rightfully so. 31 and single Id look elsewhere long-term or at least till you see how it would be a full-time family man.

originally posted by: St0rD
a reply to: Wide-Eyes

I'm a man of facts.

Fact #1
We have tremendous potential as romantic partners. The one you don't see often. Whether or not the potential is gonna come to light is in the hands of God and I'm cool with it.

Fact #2
There is a chance she comes around eventually and realize the same thing as I did. At first, I was attracted to her but also kinda repulsed at the same time but eventually it became obvious I wad into her a lot.

So my point is-
How can you be so sure of your bold statements? You never know right. It's all good though, thanks for your insights.

Just don't torture yourself about it bro.

I've been there and it sucks.

keep you distances. Stop being so open with her about what's going on in your life. Bring some mystery into the equation.

I think even when in a relationship this can be good. There seems to be this fine line of keeping a woman in the dark and also having good communication.

Distance is definitely important. Women have to want you. Always being there doesn't help.

It can be tiring figuaring out this out. Honestly, i just wish i was gay. Guys are much less complicated.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Wide-Eyes
I don't want to know what that means but lol.

Creepy- Cuomo Tells Reporter He Wants to See Her Eat The Whole Sausage.

Oh okay. I thought it would be something worse than that.

I even posted in that thread lol. I only post when I've been drinking so I lose track.

originally posted by: St0rD

originally posted by: Wide-Eyes
a reply to: St0rD

From what you've said here, you're too similar.

I think that's why you're friend zoned. You're no challenge to her.

I know it sounds daft but that's often the way it is.

Move on. If she is in fact 'the one' she will chase you.

Yup, exactly what I'm doing right now.

I'm done with her already. My interest for her and the potential we have together is just too huge that if it's not entirely mutual, I'm better off without her. Otherwise I will suffer yoo much.

What's with this suffer too much BS, hell man you go too strong emotions after one snowboarding date. Don't let that blind you are at step 1 and she might not even be on the porch. Don't just lower your expectations have no expectations and see where it goes

originally posted by: Wide-Eyes

originally posted by: St0rD
a reply to: Wide-Eyes

I'm a man of facts.

Fact #1
We have tremendous potential as romantic partners. The one you don't see often. Whether or not the potential is gonna come to light is in the hands of God and I'm cool with it.

Fact #2
There is a chance she comes around eventually and realize the same thing as I did. At first, I was attracted to her but also kinda repulsed at the same time but eventually it became obvious I wad into her a lot.

So my point is-
How can you be so sure of your bold statements? You never know right. It's all good though, thanks for your insights.

Just don't torture yourself about it bro.

I've been there and it sucks.

I know it looks bad. But if I look back,
all of the times in my life I experienced this kind of feelings and went through f-cked up signs and dreams... it was all true man.

So whatever happens, from the look of what was provided by my dreams, it's either gonna be I'm rejected by her or the complete opposite.

When I know, I'll provide the conclusion to you guys so we know what love is all about

originally posted by: putnam6

originally posted by: St0rD

originally posted by: Wide-Eyes
a reply to: St0rD

From what you've said here, you're too similar.

I think that's why you're friend zoned. You're no challenge to her.

I know it sounds daft but that's often the way it is.

Move on. If she is in fact 'the one' she will chase you.

Yup, exactly what I'm doing right now.

I'm done with her already. My interest for her and the potential we have together is just too huge that if it's not entirely mutual, I'm better off without her. Otherwise I will suffer yoo much.

What's with this suffer too much BS, hell man you go too strong emotions after one snowboarding date. Don't let that blind you are at step 1 and she might not even be on the porch. Don't just lower your expectations have no expectations and see where it goes

Have you ever been in love man?

Only one snowboarding trip can make you fall for it. Thid is the kind of emotions you can't control but only shield yourself from.

a reply to: TheAlleghenyGentleman

Judge people Based on the content of their character . You have a lot to learn

originally posted by: St0rD

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: St0rD

originally posted by: IAMTAT
a reply to: St0rD

Ask her out again...Something like dinner at a very nice place.
After all, what've you got to lose?

I considered it.

But if she saw me in the same light as I see her right now, there is absolutely no way she would not text me for 3 weeks. She shows me affection at job but she acts like she doesn't want our relationship to be anything more than that.

I deserve better and if she can't open herself and come to me by her own after I made my interest pretty obvious , why would I chase her and start to play this game. I have the conviction that if someone is really interested in you, she will make it obvious either way.

What do you think?

I think you're overthinking it way too much.

Just ask her out again.
Quiet dinner at a nice place...talk together...OUTSIDE the office.

You may click...you may find out she's not really all you thought.

Either way, you'll put your mind (and heart) at rest.

Why would I ask her out again since I already did and she didn't even care to show interest afterwards. Sure, at the work place she kinda does but yet does nothing so we get together again outside of job. Plus, confirmed to me she was doing other sh-t with at least one more guy.

I appreciate your insight though. I just feel like from experiences that when a girl is really into you she will in turn hit you up. I'm looking for real love not something I must chase at all cost. If she doesn't come around by herself and use her free will to go with another dude then my attraction to her is nothing but an illusion.

First mistake:

I just feel like from experiences that when a girl is really into you she will in turn hit you up.

You think you've figured out how all women think.
Fool's errand.

Second mistake:

I'm looking for real love not something I must chase at all cost.

Real love is worth chasing (intelligently) 'at all cost'.

Third mistake:

If she doesn't come around by herself and use her free will to go with another dude then my attraction to her is nothing but an illusion.

Your attraction to her may, indeed, be "nothing but an illusion"...but you'll never know until you finally know.
For that knowing to happen...you'll need to see her again.

She will not make the next move...because she's obviously busy with others continuously making the first move.

So how will you show her you're different from the others?
How will you impress her?

I mentioned the 'Tao of Steve'...It goes like this:

1) Eliminate your desire (Don't be desperate)
2) Do something excellent in her presence (Impress her)
3) Retreat ("We pursue that which retreats from us" -Vaughan)

She won't pursue you, unless you impress her first...and you obviously haven't done this yet.
Only THEN will your distancing draw her to you.

There are millions of women out there looking for love.

Also just be a good friend, romance can rear it's ugly head in a heart beat. Then you'll be sorry....

a reply to: glen200376

Probably a self-hating white person. Most white Americans these days are programmed to be self-hating and seriously, they just are not terribly clever people anyway.

A watched kettle wont boil. Go date some other women. Women sense when you are sprung to them. They want a challenge.

Model after her. What she did worked, right? Analyze her method and use the same on her. You gotta hide your love away

There is only one good response to being friend zoned: Completely ignore the person from then on. Get over your obsession with how perfect you think they are and turn away. You are completely wasting your time with them. It's simply not worth it.

a reply to: Bluntone22

The only correct answer.

originally posted by: St0rD

originally posted by: putnam6

originally posted by: St0rD

originally posted by: Wide-Eyes
a reply to: St0rD

From what you've said here, you're too similar.

I think that's why you're friend zoned. You're no challenge to her.

I know it sounds daft but that's often the way it is.

Move on. If she is in fact 'the one' she will chase you.

Yup, exactly what I'm doing right now.

I'm done with her already. My interest for her and the potential we have together is just too huge that if it's not entirely mutual, I'm better off without her. Otherwise I will suffer yoo much.

What's with this suffer too much BS, hell man you go too strong emotions after one snowboarding date. Don't let that blind you are at step 1 and she might not even be on the porch. Don't just lower your expectations have no expectations and see where it goes

Have you ever been in love man?

Only one snowboarding trip can make you fall for it. Thid is the kind of emotions you can't control but only shield yourself from.

LOL, I'm 58 years old been "in love" probably been at least 10 times, married the first girl I ever dated, but I came back to her much much later like 5-6 years after that first date. We were married 13 years and loved her all of them even the last 2 bad ones. After that began talking to a divorcee we literally waited almost a year before I moved in with her, and yea we were in love, stayed together for 10 years.

Have you even talked to her like really talk? Have you ever kissed her? or a romantic dinner and date. Hell buddy it's 2021 have you slept with her? I imagine most if not all of those questions are no. Ergo slow your roll, your enthusiasm might be killing it. If you are on the same wavelength, it will happen. If you aren't you can't expect her to make any or all of the adjustments. She could very well be interested but know it wouldn't be good for her children right now, and would rather go out with Johnny fisherman than St0rD new husband, one on reserve.

originally posted by: St0rD
a reply to: MRinder

Maybe you're right and if it is that so at least I've already taken my distance. The only thing that matters is that it works out for the best for her, and for me.

Still, I feel like you are wrong. My dreams showed me I could be friend zoned and I acted accordingly right away. I also had ones where she went with another guy but eventually came back so we could go to a dance together.

Only time will tell.

I wish you the best of luck!