Insight on how NOT to be Friend Zoned

I had some pretty decent looking girls as friends when I was young. So good friends that I considered them like sisters. I could not be a boyfriend after that for some reason. I wanted to remain lifelong friends with them and saw how people became enemies after breakups so I did not want that to happen to us. Also, I wanted to be able to talk to them if they did get married someday, and jealosy by a husband keeps that from happening. Most of the people around knew that these cute girls were my sister like friends so there would not be a problem. We did get out of touch eventually and I do not see them much anymore, something I never considered. I thought about facebook friend requesting some of them...but I do not know their married names or where they live anymore.

Oh well, someday I will see them again and talk to them. My wife knows my relationship with some of these women, she has met them and they get along and the never dated thing and brother/sister like relationship came up in their conversation. Most of them are still really good looking even though they are in their sixties.

This sounds like a recipe for disaster.

"I just met this amazing girl"

??

How do you know who she is if you just met her?

That is the initial influence which determines your "neutral", which you have no real idea of, just a view of an ideal.

If her first few "moves" are away from YOUR neutral, that feels negative to you but perhaps still neutral for her.

You creat a "positive" where there is still a neutral.

Push or pull?

Two or more people who get along and understand how to get along can live with more than their own positives, negatives and neutrals.

"Equilibrium".

Live with everything, warts 'n all.

Then add a positive for each negative and then just add positives.

"Neutral" can shift to tiny small dark, and ever growing light. Together.

Inseperable because they exist together in the same thing to different degrees.

Ying Yang, in a ying yang, in a ying yang.......

The first one starts when you are born.

Girl or boy.

Ying OR yang.

Born = First spark in the machine.

Consider this: Nikola Tesla is achieving his potential and his body is invisible right now.

Immortality without physical substance.

I think you have the right idea: Be cool. Not fake cool. I mean fake it til you make it if need be but make it to "cool" for real.

There might come that perfect time, however, after being cool for awhile, to tell her that you really dig her and think the world of her. Then immediately go back to being cool.

Good luck. And, as always, be extra careful what you wish for!

a reply to: St0rD

I’ve been married 20+ years
My parents married 50 years
My in-laws married 50 years

Listen to my advice...

Love yourself & patience grasshopper!

So much crappy advice in this thread; 'wait', 'be patient', 'don't act interested', 'play it cool'.

Blah, blah, blah.

Listen to me and listen good, you need to stalk her. Day, night and every hour in between. Chicks dig when you show up unexpectedly; at their work, the gym, changing rooms. You get the drill. Nothing says, 'I care', like creeping around her house late at night.

And if none of this works just fix her a Roofitini.

originally posted by: Thenail
a reply to: TheAlleghenyGentleman

Judge people Based on the content of their character . You have a lot to learn

Pass

a reply to: putnam6

Good talk man. I appreciate you taking the time to write this.

Now, what this whole topic conversation made me realize is that...

This is just so much complicated which is a huge red flag. You guys are telling me
"She will not make the first move since she has other dudes hitting on her"
" She is not intetested"
"You didn't impress her enough"

You know what?
# OFF.

Love is not meant to be that confusing. It's either you're into someone and fight for it in the end, or you don't give a sh-t at all.
I just realized, thanks for you guys, that it's been 3 weeks and I'm here justifying her lack of love. But I know and deserve better.

It's all good though. I'll be alright and I wish her the best.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

You left out one thing...
Have bail money.

originally posted by: St0rD
a reply to: putnam6
But I know and deserve better.

You are finally on the level of a man.

a reply to: eXia7

Haha I appreciate the positivity.

I've been thinking about this for 3 hours. How could I even think someone was worth fighting for if she can't even realize that I'm right there in front of her eyes and do absolutely nothing about it.

There is still hope, ofc. Yet I've realized I must prepare myself and understand I might have to cut the link between us sooner than expected.

originally posted by: TheAlleghenyGentleman
a reply to: St0rD

Is she white? White women are codfish. Cold inside. Level up and date a woman from a culture that celebrates love and life.

Not everyone is attracted to non-white women. It isn’t always an option.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus



Listen to me and listen good, you need to stalk her. Day, night and every hour in between. Chicks dig when you show up unexpectedly; at their work, the gym, changing rooms. You get the drill. Nothing says, 'I care', like creeping around her house late at night.

Great advice.
It's how I got all my wives.

a reply to: Metallicus

I know. Im just being obtuse

originally posted by: St0rD
a reply to: putnam6

You guys are telling me
"She will not make the first move since she has other dudes hitting on her"
" She is not intetested"
"You didn't impress her enough"

You know what?
# OFF.

You asked us for advice...

What do you think?

...and people here took the time and effort to give it to you.
Most of it was sincere (My advice to you certainly was).

THEN you tell us to "#OFF"...because, what?...you didn't like the advice you received?

That's not right.

a reply to: IAMTAT


Yo bro.

I said # off to the situation. Meaning there was no f-cking way I would tolerate someome rejecting me when I was truly honest and opened up with her.

I'm thankful for all the insights you guys provided to me, don't get me wrong.

Why would anyone want to have a relationship these days?
Women are being taught to sleep around and that there is no stigma involved in playing the field.

Just find a nice hooker, at the very least she will be honest with your emotions and you will have a stable relationship with her.

Otherwise you will always be playing at a disadvantage and you will always have your soul destroyed when you open up.

Never trust a human, they are all scumbags.

What do I know though? I’m a misanthrope with a Missus so disregard my opinion, I probably would if I were you.

What do a reply to: St0rD

You need to hit on her girlfriends.
Flirt with some 6's in front of her.
Otherwise you will look like a beta clinger.
Take it or leave it attitude.
Good luck

So many games....it's just silly.
If a woman wants to run games on me, it's an instant turn off, first stages of relationship control.
I am out, I don't play games.

And ghosting can mean one of two things; they just don't care, or they do, but still want to play games.....either way goodbye.

a reply to: Mandroid7

You see,

most of you guys don't seem to have the same perspective as I have at all of what love truly is.

If I have to force a girl to desire me by manipulating her with fake flirting, it is just doesn't worth it. I get where you're coming from though. It is a wise and very effective strategy that will most likely get a girl to be into you.

But true love is all about genuine and honest relationships. There is absolutely no space for bull# if you want the real sh-t. Life is already complicated as it is, why would I fight for a kind of love that is forced from the start?

No, I would rather have faith that if someone is really meant to be in your life, no matter what you do it will happen eventually. If a girl denies you at first, even though you made your true intentions clear, the only thing you can do is wish for the best and hope she come around eventually. I know many confident man will sucessfully hit on girls that denies them at first, but the truth is if you want to experience true love you must let people make their own decisions all by themselves.

Sure, I could go out of my ways to seduce her, ask her out again and it would probably pay off in the end but reality is if she can't do her part and come to me by herself, she is just not worth it. Ofc, there might be exceptions to this. Some girls really need to be chased. However, most of the times love is something both parties have to fight for in the end.

What I mean is,
after you showed your interest to a girl, a good way to know her true intentions is simply to be silent. If she doesn't hit you up at all, then you should probably simply let it go.

originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
So many games....it's just silly.
If a woman wants to run games on me, it's an instant turn off, first stages of relationship control.
I am out, I don't play games.

And ghosting can mean one of two things; they just don't care, or they do, but still want to play games.....either way goodbye.

Yeah, exactly.

Why must it be so f-cking complicated?
The flirting game can be fun in a way, but it seems most people make it absolutely painful. I feel like Love should be mysterious, yet very simple. Something both parties ultimately commit to.