Where do I go from here?

Pretend to be dying in the middle of a shopping mall filled with women. That should give them the idea you don't want to rape them.

What's happening is I'm driving myself mad thinking about this. All in my head is... What can I do; where can I meet people; what can I do to change myself for the better; how can I change my look for the best; how do I not seem desperate; isnt wanting a gf the same thing as being desperate for love, without settling for some mean woman of course; should I change my body; why should I have to; shouldn't they love me for me?
I dont even have Male friends to hang with. I feel so pathetic and screwed in my life. It luke being trapped in a world of solitude and loneliness. My life was solitary way before Corona. I'm freaking lost, hence the reason for the post. But I still k ow I'm a good, nice, guy. What's that matter though at this point.

Gosh I dont k ow how to not feel desperate. I'm not desperate,
just eager for someone to have a connection with. Ugh. I'm so frustrated.

originally posted by: eletheia

reply to BeyondBlessed

Yes, I have tried and am currently on 5 dating apps. It has not been helping. I'm at a point where if I push myself to initiate conversationwith a female, I internally feel desperate.

If you feel desperate internally ..... then it 'shows' and it is not a good look.

So concentrate on how YOU feel inside of you and the resulting reflection will

be better.

And as far a going right for the number, I see guys doing this all the time, of course with good looks. And it works especially when they post these acts on social media as pick up advice. I'm really frustrated, downhearted, and overwhelmed. Why cant I say to a woman, you look beautiful today? I also know that in my experiencewomen seem to respond to me like if I'm a creepy guy or some old pervert.

Social media is simply that .....shallow and fake, you've heard the saying

"Fake it till you make it"?

Dont believe that good looking guys never get turned down, He's never going to

advertise his failures now is he?

In my time I have turned down a few 'good lookers' because they are shallow

and the equivelent to a cardboard cut out.

Being good looking only opens the door ...... but if you have nothing else

(integrity, personality etc) dont take your coat off you wont be staying long!!

I'm only 29 and I've been told I look 40. My last effort a woman told me "dude your like 40, go find a boring middle aged woman." All I told her was that she looked beautiful. Just one of a few bad experiences. Also get ignored and sometimes just a really weird look from woman that I try to simply talk to.

Don't diss that advice, an older woman can teach you a lot about the phyche

and insight to a woman..... and not all older women are not unattractive....

After I divorced my ex husband (one year older than myself) I only ever dated

men 10/20 yrs younger than myself.

a reply to: BeyondBlessed

What's that matter though at this point.

You're socially isolated. This isn't a natural way for humans to live. It feels #ty for most people, including you.

Nothing any random person here says is going to help your actual situation. Get some real help from liscensed therapists who can help you make a plan to work through your loneliness.

Just be true to yourself. It won't get you women, but you're better off that way.

One of my nephews came to me with this same situation. He told me that no matter how much he tried, no one wanted to be his friend.

My answer to him was to stop trying. We talked about all the things he liked, and what he enjoyed doing. We started small. He helped me with some of the community work I do. He had a gift for drawing, and a couple of young folk were drawn to him because of some of his Manga art work.

Folk soon realized that he had a gift for writing, that meant he had a vocabulary that had a significant amount of actual words, he hated abbreviations, and emojis. Did I mention that he was my nephew? The Newsletter group invited him to assist them. This was the first big step. He pitched in anywhere help was needed. He learned so much. Computer work, sound work, video streaming.

He served in so many ways, and before he knew it, he had friends, and a lot of them. All he had to do was be himself, and allow others to see who he really was. A smart, caring, talented young man, they had not known was in their mist, until he walked out of his own shadow.

originally posted by: NightSkyeB4Dawn
One of my nephews came to me with this same situation. He told me that no matter how much he tried, no one wanted to be his friend.

My answer to him was to stop trying. We talked about all the things he liked, and what he enjoyed doing. We started small. He helped me with some of the community work I do. He had a gift for drawing, and a couple of young folk were drawn to him because of some of his Manga art work.

Folk soon realized that he had a gift for writing, that meant he had a vocabulary that had a significant amount of actual words, he hated abbreviations, and emojis. Did I mention that he was my nephew? The Newsletter group invited him to assist them. This was the first big step. He pitched in anywhere help was needed. He learned so much. Computer work, sound work, video streaming.

He served in so many ways, and before he knew it, he had friends, and a lot of them. All he had to do was be himself, and allow others to see who he really was. A smart, caring, talented young man, they had not known was in their mist, until he walked out of his own shadow.

I found love when I quit looking.

I just worked on being happy being me.

Work on things that make you happy.

Often you meet people with similar interests that way.

Happy people of all shapes are attractive.

Money is nice. To focus on it is a turn off.

Do what brings you joy...