Where do I go from here?

originally posted by: NightVision

originally posted by: Lysergic
a reply to: NightVision

Dear GAWD that video was supreme cringe.

The short balding weirdo in that video dates prettier women than you can imagine.

Oh yeah I bet I can make it churn the way he only wishes he could.

a reply to: BeyondBlessed

I'll just leave this here......

Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all

a reply to: BeyondBlessed

Oh my.. i hope i never have to figure out the modern world of dating..

But i would probably try social media.

Also heard great things about Ukraine.

But anyways, good luck and godspeed.

And yeah, hit the gym, always a good idea for many reasons.

a reply to: Floridadreamin

A bald head can be sexy.

ONLY if you embrace it!!

You cannot have long hair whatsoever, if you’re balding. Chop it off and either bic it, or no guard with the clippers (this is what I do) at least every 4 days.

Bald is sexy yes, but combovers aren’t.

Bro take everything with a grain of salt about what does and doesn't work as far as getting a woman.

I literally fill every checkmark about what to do as far as how to be attractive.

I'm good looking, funny, intelligent, financially responsible. I've got a steady job, and I'm nowhere near to being at a deadend.

I'm caring, but can also an asshole depending on who you talk to. I'm charismatic. People come to me when they meed someone to talk to. I've got a cute dog, nice car, and I don't live in a pigsty.

I can go out to bars, clubs, acquanitances parties and be the life of the party or a wallflower. Either way I have had no problem getting numbers, flirting, or having one night stands and flings.

Three years ago I got tired of that. I wanted someone who was actually a decent person to be around and was on my level. I stopped messing with girls in their early 20s. And wouldn't you know it, almost all of the women I met who were late twenties, early thirties had half grown kids, and didn't want anymore. They wanted to wear the pants. It was their way or the highway. They wanted me to be there for them, and not the other way around.

Not going to bars or clubs anywhere made it hard to meet girls, and I already didn't have a lot of friends. I've got two or three good friends, and they constantly tell me that they wish they had single friends to set me up on blind dates with.

So, I'm now thirty, and I want a family, and I'm not getting any younger, but all the women I meet are irresponsible, have kids already, and don't want anymore, or are just not good people to be around.

I made a Facebook and Instagram a few years ago to try and meet new people. I added old friends from growing up. I joined car groups, photography groups, hiking and camping groups. Fishing groups.

I've invited people out to chill at the lake. I've asked if anyone wants to go cruising around. Nothing. So, I just focused on myself, doing what I like to do. And I'd meet cool people, I'd flirt, exchange numbers, and either I'd never hear from them again, or I'd find out their trying to cheat on their significant other.

So, you know what they say. You always find the one when you're not looking. Well, I haven't really been looking for a few years now. So, I doubt that actually works. Every time I've had a girlfriend or even when I met my ex-wife I was looking.

You don't catch any fish when you don't put a hook on the line.

I tell you from my own personal experience. Women are a pain in the ass.

If you do want to get married you best chances are to find some overbearing woman and let her walk all over you, because like they say "Happy wife, happy life" lmao.

I'm good.

originally posted by: Oathkeeper73
a reply to: BeyondBlessed
Go to the gym and get big and ripped. It will do wonders for your confidence and women will instantly be more attracted to you.

Only some women will find that attractive. You need to be careful because some women will see a ripped dude and not want to date him because all he does is go to theF*** gym which would leave no time for her.

originally posted by: FlyingSquirrel

originally posted by: Oathkeeper73
a reply to: BeyondBlessed
Go to the gym and get big and ripped. It will do wonders for your confidence and women will instantly be more attracted to you. A poor man cannot support a pack, much less one offspring. The wealthy man can support several and give them the best. The female wants the best for her offspring, it's one of the most important things to her and a driving force in her decision making. It runs deep into the subconcious. A woman who says she doesn't even want children right now will be completely influenced by these tendencies.

That's really dependent on how you're brought up. My stepmother only cares about how much money you have because money equals success. She claims the tool that you use but it doesn't run her world. It totally does. My mom left someone that had a lot of money have a decent marriage and went to be with someone who didn't have a lot of money.
I really think it just has to do with your own confidence. I think that polishing up your own thoughts about you would be a tremendous asset. I mean sure having those things could boost your confidence. But it's not a defining factor of who you are as a person.

Ripped bank account > ripped muscles

Trust me, you can be overweight and/or balding, is not problem.

It's not being used if it makes you feel good.

I don't know, something about being a provider, it tweaks a primal spot in the man's brain. Alpha males aren't the ones with the biggest muscles or the toughest, they're the ones with the most money. The alpha male in the animal kingdom is the leader of the pack, the one who procreates with the female to make the most offspring.

originally posted by: cre8chaos

originally posted by: FlyingSquirrel

originally posted by: Oathkeeper73
a reply to: BeyondBlessed


That's really dependent on how you're brought up. My stepmother only cares about how much money you have because money equals success. She claims the tool that you use but it doesn't run her world. It totally does. My mom left someone that had a lot of money have a decent marriage and went to be with someone who didn't have a lot of money.
I really think it just has to do with your own confidence. I think that you needed to find who you are with you and that will change your overall energy. Sure money to go on a date or having a good physique might help your confidence. I don't believe but those are the defining factors of what makes some women attracted to a male.
.

Women are people and like everyone else they say one thing and want another. ie just shack up with someone you tolerate and tolerates you and have kids, and hate each other's guts until the kids leave and then split or don't split. And then give #ty advice to younger people. Because life is just #. It is what it is. Why worry about being with someone who makes life hell for you when you can just do what you want to do.

Just #ing do what you want to do. You aren't who you are based off of who you are with. No one defines who you are except for you. This is the one life you get. Are you going to live it being miserable and wishing some woman would just fall in your lap and live happily ever after or are you going to be a badass, do what you want, kiss my ass, and live life to the fullest?

Yes, I have tried and am currently on 5 dating apps. It has not been helping. I'm at a point where if I push myself to initiate conversationwith a female, I internally feel desperate. And as far a going right for the number, I see guys doing this all the time, of course with good looks. And it works especially when they post these acts on social media as pick up advice. I'm really frustrated, downhearted, and overwhelmed. Why cant I say to a woman, you look beautiful today? I also know that in my experiencewomen seem to respond to me like if I'm a creepy guy or some old pervert. I'm only 29 and I've been told I look 40. My last effort a woman told me "dude your like 40, go find a boring middle aged woman." All I told her was that she looked beautiful. Just one of a few bad experiences. Also get ignored and sometimes just a really weird look from woman that I try to simply talk to.

originally posted by: FlyingSquirrel
I'd agree that asking for a number during a "random encounter" in public is too forward; it'd be seen as desperate by the female. On the contrary, if she gives you signals via flirting and enthsiastic conversation, asking for the number is okay because she's interested. You have to interpret their reaction to you without letting your attraction to them affect your judgement.

You must remember, every attractive female has a handful of men that hit on her and try to talk to her regularly. If you did ask for her number, you wouldn't be the first that month in a "random encounter" at a public place. Men are thirsty.

Urban Dictionary defines thirsty as "too eager to get something; desperate." This desperation could be in reference to anything — compliments, validation, attention — but it is most frequently used to specifically mean desperate for sex.Nov 14, 2019

Now, women aren't attracted to thirst, quite the opposite. This is complicated. Being thirsty shows that you aren't attractive, because if you were, you wouldn't be desperate, you'd "know your worth". I don't have time to explain this in detail. It's an inexplicable can of worms.

It depends on what kind of women you are considering approaching. Their physical attractiveness equals how man meny are approaching them. Man of them, if single which is rare, already have guys who have gotten to the stage of texting and telephone. Women who ae single and even those who aren't but unhappily taken typically juggled some choices at any given time. At the same time, even physically unattractive women get hit on more than you'd think because they're considered easy targets due to low confidence.

Have you tried phone apps and websites like plenty of fish, tinder and stuff like that? It's easier to present yourself with a description of personality and pictures with messages to women being normal. They're on there looking for men too and getting messages from multiple men daily. The ball is in their court always and they choose based on different factors.

Money is more powerful than looks or personality, yet looks and personality need to be adequate for money to lead. The male needs to be able to provide a nest for offspring and security, yet he has to be acceptable enough in physical and emotional attraction.

If she messaged you. You must be A Hunky guy. I've also heard the key is to stop looking. (That's when it will magically happen.) Well I've tried that,so logically the alternative is to put myself out there. Or better my odds statistically. This had been #ty in my opinion. I am always the one messaging women and never get past a few messages , if they actuallyrespond before they disappearon me. I'm always respectful too. I think this gentleman is just meantto live life alone sadly.

originally posted by: underwerks
a reply to: Allaroundyou

Of course that’s a joke, but if I can help someone start a cult I feel I’ve done my part.

To OP: I met my current girlfriend when she randomly DM’ed me on Instagram. We started talking, and moved in together about a month later. I know it may sound counter intuitive, but the secret to finding someone is to stop looking.

Stop concentrating so hard on finding someone, and just leave it to the universe. As soon as you genuinely stop caring, someone will pop up in the strangest place. It’s weird that that happens, but it does.

Or you could do like one of my my role models, Jack Parsons. And be an overbearing asshole and start a cult. Do what thou wilt is the whole of the law.

originally posted by: BeyondBlessed
Yes, I have tried and am currently on 5 dating apps. It has not been helping. I'm at a point where if I push myself to initiate conversationwith a female, I internally feel desperate. And as far a going right for the number, I see guys doing this all the time, of course with good looks. And it works especially when they post these acts on social media as pick up advice. I'm really frustrated, downhearted, and overwhelmed. Why cant I say to a woman, you look beautiful today? I also know that in my experiencewomen seem to respond to me like if I'm a creepy guy or some old pervert. I'm only 29 and I've been told I look 40. My last effort a woman told me "dude your like 40, go find a boring middle aged woman." All I told her was that she looked beautiful. Just one of a few bad experiences. Also get ignored and sometimes just a really weird look from woman that I try to simply talk to.

originally posted by: FlyingSquirrel
I'd agree that asking for a number during a "random encounter" in public is too forward; it'd be seen as desperate by the female. On the contrary, if she gives you signals via flirting and enthsiastic conversation, asking for the number is okay because she's interested. You have to interpret their reaction to you without letting your attraction to them affect your judgement.

You must remember, every attractive female has a handful of men that hit on her and try to talk to her regularly. If you did ask for her number, you wouldn't be the first that month in a "random encounter" at a public place. Men are thirsty.

Urban Dictionary defines thirsty as "too eager to get something; desperate." This desperation could be in reference to anything — compliments, validation, attention — but it is most frequently used to specifically mean desperate for sex.Nov 14, 2019

Now, women aren't attracted to thirst, quite the opposite. This is complicated. Being thirsty shows that you aren't attractive, because if you were, you wouldn't be desperate, you'd "know your worth". I don't have time to explain this in detail. It's an inexplicable can of worms.

It depends on what kind of women you are considering approaching. Their physical attractiveness equals how man meny are approaching them. Man of them, if single which is rare, already have guys who have gotten to the stage of texting and telephone. Women who ae single and even those who aren't but unhappily taken typically juggled some choices at any given time. At the same time, even physically unattractive women get hit on more than you'd think because they're considered easy targets due to low confidence.

Have you tried phone apps and websites like plenty of fish, tinder and stuff like that? It's easier to present yourself with a description of personality and pictures with messages to women being normal. They're on there looking for men too and getting messages from multiple men daily. The ball is in their court always and they choose based on different factors.

Money is more powerful than looks or personality, yet looks and personality need to be adequate for money to lead. The male needs to be able to provide a nest for offspring and security, yet he has to be acceptable enough in physical and emotional attraction.

Duuude, You CAN tell a woman she's beautiful. If she gets butthurt by it well then good riddance. If she get's all pissy and says you look old and says rude # to you then whatever man. Why are you going to get bent out of shape over some rude ass chick?

Do you want to be with someone like that?

a reply to: BeyondBlessed

Hey, feeling any better man? Had some time to think about things?

I actuallydo get told this quite often. Along with the old, "You need to learn how to love yourself beforeyou can love anybody else." PersonallyI believe it the extent. Imagine loving yourself, but just wishing someone else could love and see all there is that's good in you? Then it kind of defeats that saying dont it? I love myself, I treat myself good, but I have a sadness. I know and believe I have alot to offer emotionally to woman. But I just feel sadnessbecause of being as lone and not being able to share myself with another. So again, that saying doesnt matter in my case, so I'm tired of hearing it. I'm not looking for love to fill a void in my life, but at the same time, isnt that what marriage is? "The two become one?" So in essence everyone wanting a relationshipare looking to fill something within them; a absence of being able to share yourself perhaps?

originally posted by: eletheia
a reply to: BeyondBlessed

I'll just leave this here......

Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all

Thank for asking. You do seem sincere in your question/reply.
I feel the same to be honest. Just been trying to find a match on online dating.

originally posted by: AutomateThis1
a reply to: BeyondBlessed

Hey, feeling any better man? Had some time to think about things?

Logically, I understand your point, but it's not exactly what's getting to me. Heck no, I wouldn't want a woman like that and when they do say stuff like that, you are correct, it shows their true colors. What hurts is that I'm just trying to be nice, with true sincerity,
and get treated badly. Yea I eventually have to shrug it off, but I admit I am sensitive. >I go home and think what's wrong with me that they responded that way. Do they see me as a creepy old man. I'm only 29<
I know I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Idk if it's because I was only raised by women. Never had a male in my life to even talk to.

originally posted by: AutomateThis1

originally posted by: BeyondBlessed
Yes, I have tried and am currently on 5 dating apps. It has not been helping. I'm at a point where if I push myself to initiate conversationwith a female, I internally feel desperate. And as far a going right for the number, I see guys doing this all the time, of course with good looks. And it works especially when they post these acts on social media as pick up advice. I'm really frustrated, downhearted, and overwhelmed. Why cant I say to a woman, you look beautiful today? I also know that in my experiencewomen seem to respond to me like if I'm a creepy guy or some old pervert. I'm only 29 and I've been told I look 40. My last effort a woman told me "dude your like 40, go find a boring middle aged woman." All I told her was that she looked beautiful. Just one of a few bad experiences. Also get ignored and sometimes just a really weird look from woman that I try to simply talk to.

originally posted by: FlyingSquirrel
I'd agree that asking for a number during a "random encounter" in public is too forward; it'd be seen as desperate by the female. On the contrary, if she gives you signals via flirting and enthsiastic conversation, asking for the number is okay because she's interested. You have to interpret their reaction to you without letting your attraction to them affect your judgement.

You must remember, every attractive female has a handful of men that hit on her and try to talk to her regularly. If you did ask for her number, you wouldn't be the first that month in a "random encounter" at a public place. Men are thirsty.

Urban Dictionary defines thirsty as "too eager to get something; desperate." This desperation could be in reference to anything — compliments, validation, attention — but it is most frequently used to specifically mean desperate for sex.Nov 14, 2019

Now, women aren't attracted to thirst, quite the opposite. This is complicated. Being thirsty shows that you aren't attractive, because if you were, you wouldn't be desperate, you'd "know your worth". I don't have time to explain this in detail. It's an inexplicable can of worms.

It depends on what kind of women you are considering approaching. Their physical attractiveness equals how man meny are approaching them. Man of them, if single which is rare, already have guys who have gotten to the stage of texting and telephone. Women who ae single and even those who aren't but unhappily taken typically juggled some choices at any given time. At the same time, even physically unattractive women get hit on more than you'd think because they're considered easy targets due to low confidence.

Have you tried phone apps and websites like plenty of fish, tinder and stuff like that? It's easier to present yourself with a description of personality and pictures with messages to women being normal. They're on there looking for men too and getting messages from multiple men daily. The ball is in their court always and they choose based on different factors.

Money is more powerful than looks or personality, yet looks and personality need to be adequate for money to lead. The male needs to be able to provide a nest for offspring and security, yet he has to be acceptable enough in physical and emotional attraction.

Duuude, You CAN tell a woman she's beautiful. If she gets butthurt by it well then good riddance. If she get's all pissy and says you look old and says rude # to you then whatever man. Why are you going to get bent out of shape over some rude ass chick?

Do you want to be with someone like that?

Appreciate the advice. I could use some. I never had a male in my life so... yea Raised by all women.

originally posted by: 35Foxtrot
a reply to: BeyondBlessed

I'd agree with the confidence advice. It not only attracts women, but it makes you likable to males as well. As long as you don't over do it.

Also, 2 things that worked REALLY well for me when I was looking:

1) Act disinterested. Not too disinterested but don't be needy.

2) Do a "Columbo," as my college roommate and I named it. Make up an innocent and platonic contact with the female of choice. Ask for directions or maybe a light if you smoke. Thank them and start to walk away. As you're leaving turn around and say something that Columbo would. Like, "Oh, one more thing..."

Then invite her to some activity that is non-threatening. Like a group get together or a park or something. Just say, "Oh, by the way. I was headed to -insert thing or place- maybe you'd be interested?"

I'm very happily married now but back in the day, I... Well. You know.

I realize I'm an old guy so some of you younger people may not know Columbo

Thanks bro. I appreciate the time you put into your responce. I dont have a dog and I am a longer. Even finding friends is #ing hard for me. I'm not some #ing closet nerd. I get out and work and # but # it's hard for me.

originally posted by: KKLOCO
a reply to: BeyondBlessed

Looks like you’ve received some good advice already. I’m just going to chime in and summarize this useful echo chamber.

1. STOP thinking so negatively of yourself. Women have an instinct to smell out confidence, or a lack thereof. If you’re a good person as you state, use that to build your self esteem.

2. DO give a fu## about what you look like (Cleanliness, grooming, workout cardio and weights). You will get natural confidence from feeling better off the workouts and looking better.

2. Don’t give a fu## about much anything else. Be calm. When men are calm, their voices tend to deepen — which is also something women like. Many times I’ve walked into an establishment, not receiving any recognition. Then I speak, and heads turn. Women are very attracted to cool calm and collective. Most importantly, have a good sense of humor (trust me, this will come if you truly DGAF).

3. You seem lonely. Do you have a dog? Dogs are not only a great companion for you but also — Women LOVE dogs. Go to dog parks with your dog. Take it for regular walks in your neighborhood. You instantly have a connection with a person then. You will find it EASY as hell to talk to women with a dog next to you. In fact, they will approach you. When they do, make it light. Talk about the dogs and make some funnies.

4. Friends, got any? Women aren’t particularly attracted to loners (for the most part). I’m sure you’ve got to have at least one. Go out together, AKA wingman. Make sure this person has some level of confidence. Or else it won’t look good on you. Find a local neighborhood bar. Start going somewhat frequently. You’ll make other friends there that will widen your sphere of influence (more girls to chose from).

5. Absolutely STOP going in to this endeavor with the thought of finding a wife. Test drive some cars (get laid) before you buy them. This will also really build your confidence. You’ll also be able to discern what personality types you’re attracted to. It’s not about just finding a woman. It’s about finding the right women. Trust me, locking yourself into the wrong woman — is a trillion times worse than being alone!

6. You’re not old. Have patience (which is also a form of confidence). I’m 40 and dealing with this new world of dating. It’s a sh!t show. For the most part, You’re not going to find a quality girl on a dating app. Meeting someone organically is the only way to go. You just have to put yourself in the position to do so.

7. Oh yeah, if you’ve got any hobbies, seek those out. Maybe join a group geared around your interests (not geared around dating). Most the women that are REALLY searching for a relationship— you don’t want to be in a relationship with. We must first be comfortable being alone, before we can truly give in a relationship.

reply to BeyondBlessed

Yes, I have tried and am currently on 5 dating apps. It has not been helping. I'm at a point where if I push myself to initiate conversationwith a female, I internally feel desperate.

If you feel desperate internally ..... then it 'shows' and it is not a good look.

So concentrate on how YOU feel inside of you and the resulting reflection will

be better.

And as far a going right for the number, I see guys doing this all the time, of course with good looks. And it works especially when they post these acts on social media as pick up advice. I'm really frustrated, downhearted, and overwhelmed. Why cant I say to a woman, you look beautiful today? I also know that in my experiencewomen seem to respond to me like if I'm a creepy guy or some old pervert.

Social media is simply that .....shallow and fake, you've heard the saying

"Fake it till you make it"?

Dont believe that good looking guys never get turned down, He's never going to

advertise his failures now is he?

In my time I have turned down a few 'good lookers' because they are shallow

and the equivelent to a cardboard cut out.

Being good looking only opens the door ...... but if you have nothing else

(integrity, personality etc) dont take your coat off you wont be staying long!!

I'm only 29 and I've been told I look 40. My last effort a woman told me "dude your like 40, go find a boring middle aged woman." All I told her was that she looked beautiful. Just one of a few bad experiences. Also get ignored and sometimes just a really weird look from woman that I try to simply talk to.

Don't diss that advice, an older woman can teach you a lot about the phyche

and insight to a woman..... and not all older women are not unattractive....

After I divorced my ex husband (one year older than myself) I only ever dated

men 10/20 yrs younger than myself.

Forget women for a while. Find you some good dudes to hang out with. Not douchebags or anything. Just some good natured guys who like to do stereotypical manly stuff. If you grew up mostly or entirely by women you'll need some man role models. They'll rub off on you after a while, and you'll probably gain access to decent women through them. Heck, they may even refer ya to some of their female friends.

I've known a lot of guys who were raised by women and the reason why most of them have trouble with courting women is that women give guys bad advice. Women will tell you what they are looking for in a guy, or what makes a guy desirable, but the majority of the time they are talking out of their ass and go with their emotions or feelings.

Hanging out with men will show you that.

I'm not saying you need to forget everything you learned by being raised by women, but you also gotta take it with a grain of salt.

You'll hear a thousand and one things about how #ty guys are and not to ever be like that, and also how to treat a woman but it always takes two to tango, and when relationships go south it's rarely ever just one person's fault.

So, get you some man friends and do some man things and you may just find yourself with some newfound courage.