Trans Activism, Trans Regret, and Resources for Desisters and Detransitioners

a reply to: Boadicea

Yeah, my bad.

a reply to: Boadicea

The only three transgenders I know are all ex-coworkers. All were males initially. 2 of the 3 did drag competition s but identified and often new workers didn't know they were tran.

All three are back to make now as this was 10 years ago. Currently they all admit regret and mental aspects they were able to work through. Two of them said it initially was the attention and insecurities. I can't say I really begin to understand exactly what and how most transgenders feel but I figured I would share.

One of them heavily competed and typically finished in the top three. I have much more of firsthand knowledge from him. For some reason he felt like he needed to get in touch with me and confess a lot of things unless as if it was a drug and he was in a 12-step program. He is doing great now.

a reply to: Boadicea

An excellent OP, really well written with lots of information and not too much technobabble.

To be honest I only clicked on the thread because I didn't understand a word of the thread title.

Whilst not really being aware of this I have to say I'm not that surprised really and it is indeed re-assuring that there are people out there that are pushing back.

I live in a relatively small town - population about 120,000 - in North East England. Some may say we're in the English hinterlands and 'progress' is pretty slow to reach us.
Fortunately this particular trend or fad hasn't really reached us yet.

There is a gay scene here but transgenders are incredibly rare and the subject is strictly off limits where children are concerned.

I have very limited experience of things like this.
When I first opened a Facebook account quite a few years ago now I initially accepted friend requests off anyone.
One day I was going through the profiles of friends I didn't really know and I came across a name I didn't recognise at all and I was positive I'd never seen the person before....and I certainly would have noticed two of her more obvious assets.
Upon closer inspection I noticed that the person went to both Primary and Secondary School with me.
He hadn't been a particularly close friend of mine, quite the opposite I suppose but we were always pleasant enough to each other.

After school he'd moved away and apparently eventually had a sex change, the full block and tackle removed etc.
She had had a varied and quite successful career and at the time was co-owner of a bus company in SW England.
Not a problem with any of that - who am I to judge any adult, as long as they don't harm anyone else its none of my business at all.

But what I couldn't get my head around was the fact she was in a lesbian relationship with another woman?

I'm sure someone will have a perfectly rational explanation of that for me but I just don't get that at all.

Not sure if its really relevant but an interesting story nonetheless.

originally posted by: AutomateThis1
a reply to: Boadicea

Yes, it is rather tough on the family involved.

I can only imagine. Well, actually, I don't have to imagine having a rift with my sister, or even imagine them doing something you find completely unacceptable and unconscionable... but I haven't had to deal with this particular issue.

But the problem I have with my aunt's new social circle is that they are very much for influencing children in a manner that could be seen as grooming. But they get away with it because they are professionals and work with children. (Go figure-we all know what they say about the career choices child abusers pursue.)

I remain wary of psychiatrists and psychologists because the majority of them also have their own mental illnesses. So in my opinion they are attempting to normalize their own behavior by encouraging it amongst the youth and young adults.

I think you're right about the grooming aspect as well. And about the ulterior motives -- including personal fetishes and deviances -- of the "experts." As so many people have warned, so much about the Trans Activism agenda creates too much room for abuse, and predators of all kinds will exploit this for their own purposes. The entire field of psychology/psychiatry has discredited itself time and time again. This is just their latest and greatest fiasco under the guise of "professionalism."

If you look at the cases that have hit the media recently it's always one parent or both pushing the trans and other sexual identities onto their children, often times one of the parents is a psych- of some type. Or the professional they send their kids to has some sort of personal interest or agenda.

This is very true... but we also have to note that the parents who do object are being run roughshod, and their rights are being trampled and violated and denied at every level -- medical, psychological, education, legal. The media and politicians and Trans Activists don't want us to know about them unless absolutely unavoidable, and even then, they are always painted as the Luddite abusing their child... and the pressure on these parents is crazy intense. "Would you rather have a daughter or a dead kid because he killed himself?" I just can't imagine what these parents are going through.

But it does prompt me to provide another resource for parents as well: 4th Wave Now. This advocacy group for parents of kids identifying as transgender was actually run by the girls who started and run The Pique Resilience Project that I linked to above. The Transgender Trend website I previously linked to in the OP is also a good resource for parents.

a reply to: AutomateThis1

Much appreciated!

a reply to: randomthoughts12

Three for three -- wow. Maybe for some people -- for reasons most of us cannot begin to understand -- their combination of nature and nurture has brought them to this point. Maybe this is just something they have to do and experience and work through. If a picture is worth 1,000 words, then maybe experience is worth 10,000 type thing?

I am happy for your friends that they have worked through their demons and made peace with themselves and their body. Or at least to the extent they can. I think we can all find something to complain about though, eh?

originally posted by: Freeborn
a reply to: Boadicea

An excellent OP, really well written with lots of information and not too much technobabble.

Thank you!

To be honest I only clicked on the thread because I didn't understand a word of the thread title.

LOL! Sometimes titles are hard!!! In this case, I wanted to fit a lot in -- and I also wanted to use the keywords that anyone searching for resources would use. I try to remember the lurkers too when writing OPS. And, well, this is what I came up with.

Whilst not really being aware of this I have to say I'm not that surprised really and it is indeed re-assuring that there are people out there that are pushing back.

I'm quite happy -- and relieved! -- to see so much new interest and advocacy in this area. It's been sorely needed, but sadly denied, for too darn long. And I'm pretty impressed with many of the people pushing back, as they put in their steel backbones, define their terms, and take their stand.... sometimes more like take the charge.

a reply to: AutomateThis1



Great post and much truth and insight in alluding to what goes on under the

surface regarding the personal agenda's of many 'professionals' who are placed

in positions of authority.

a reply to: Freeborn

Blessed are the hinterlands... protected from most of this madness!

As for your friend, are you sitting down?

Yes, "transbians" are a thing. The prevalent theory is that men who identify as women can be divided into two subsets -- homosexual men who are naturally effeminate, and hetero sexual men with a sexual fetish -- known as autogynephilia. These heterosexual men are aroused at the thought of themselves as a woman, being dressed and adorned as a women, being seen as a woman, being treated as a woman, and so on.

This theory is constantly rebuked by Trans Activists, but affirmed by many self-identified autogynephiles. And there is plenty on Tumblr and Reddit and other user content sites in which these people describe themselves as autogynephiles.

Unfortunately, they also often (virtually always) have other fetishes, and mental disorders. Narcissism and OCD are common co-conditions, including violence and sexual violence.

It's also become quite an issue in the lesbian community, because these men refuse to take "no" for an answer from lesbians as romantic/sexual partners. Lesbians have explained they are attracted to women and women's bodies, and Trans Activists have called them transphobes and other ugly names, and dubbed their refusal to have sex "The Cotton Ceiling."

I hope this wasn't too much information...

a reply to: Freeborn


Sexual attraction/orientation and Gender are completely separate things.

Both apparently determined by how the brain is wired (from as much as we currently know).

There is both hetero and homosexual transgender.

As said Gender is Gender and has nothing to do with sexual attraction.

a reply to: Annee

As said Gender is Gender and has nothing to do with sexual attraction.

Only in transgender ideology and theory...

Not especially helpful in an OP addressing those who have lived transgender ideology and are now rejecting that transgender ideology -- aka Detransitioners and Desisters -- who are already confused, hurting, and seekking for better answers.

originally posted by: OccamsRazor04
a reply to: Boadicea

I go to one of the top medical schools in my state. We literally had an "expert" invited to the class to speak about the issue who said no one has ever transitioned and wished they hadn't. Not one person, ever.

Well, that's a complete lie! Yes, I agree that children doing this, or their parents making the decision for them is completly and utterly wrong, and should not happen.

But to say everyone who transitions regrets it is simply not true.

a reply to: Jay-morris

But to say everyone who transitions regrets it is simply not true.

Just to be clear, no one is saying that everyone regrets transitioning. At least not here!

I can't quantify it any further though. The numbers just aren't there. I've looked and the data hasn't been compiled.

a reply to: Boadicea

next on the menu...people that detransition from a detransition, going back to the original transition once realizing that the first transition was right all along.

You need more institutions that deal with these serious issues of changing one's own mind about your gender, even though it's just a social construct. Also congress representation would be nice.

a reply to: network dude

(You network i first started replying to you , then went onto the thread in general )

Those who suffer gender dysphoria exhibit the brain patterns of their desired sex , not their natal sex at early stages of development .

so its definitely not a mental illness and not just a choice to be different.

those who suffer gender dysphoria however are physiologically different than those who are just wishing to be a different sex or gender for sex reasons or for social reasons or for whatever reason

But aye , I totally agree with you , there should be more controls in place , I think the government should make it so that you can enter into a program but the change doesnt actually start taking place until you reach the legal age
you have to basically live as your desired sex without making any physiological changes from the early age up until the legal age when you can start taking hormones .

If you feel a different sex in your body and head , but have the wrong genitals then if it starts in the mind then you should work there first, you mentally become the desired sex and if that doesnt play out how you imagine you dont go through with the physical transition when you are of legal age.

I think that would work best , because its 100% about committing to that desired lifestyle
if you want to be a female then think like a female and act like one , and if you are all in , then get the change when your body has been through its natural puberty process as you may feel different after

WHat about kids who are bi , or gay and are just confused as to what that means and think it means they should be the opposite sex
Like what if a girl likes girls , but then thinks she should be a boy because she likes girls
or vice versa

Yeh I am with you more controls here so we dont damage the children . It should be the childs choice not the parents
and that choice should be a legal right when they reach the age of 16 .
The parents cant be allowed to push them towards a decision before that

I watched a film and the parents pretended their kid was trans just to get them into some special cool kids school

i cant remember what it was, It was obviously a joke
but I could quite believe someone has already done this
parents use their children for all sorts of # , that is #ed up.

originally posted by: MarioOnTheFly
a reply to: Boadicea

next on the menu...people that detransition from a detransition, going back to the original transition once realizing that the first transition was right all along.

You jest (I hope), but I think there is much truth in your words. I've read so many firsthand accounts, and what comes through again and again is the confusion and bewilderment so many express regarding their "gender" expression. And 999 times out of 1,000, their confusion is based upon sexist stereotypes. "Oh dear... I like pink... I must have a girl brain" or "I like football... I must be a boy." Even worse is the trans bubble that insists anyone who does not perfectly conform to their gender stereotypes must be an "egg" ready to hatch. "You like pink? Well, you must be trans and just don't know it yet..." "You like football? You must be trans but haven't figured it out yet..."

I'm sure there are people who are so ill-fitted to society's gender expectations that they truly do not feel comfortable in either role, and experience much internal vacillation trying to figure it out. Unfortunately, everyone seems to need a label these days, and feel lost when they don't fit neatly into the designated boxes.

The thing is, the vast majority of people break gender norms each and every day in one way or another. Trans ideology is literally the most gender-conforming of all!

originally posted by: sapien82
a reply to: network dude

Those who suffer gender dysphoria exhibit the brain patterns of their desired sex , not their natal sex at early stages of development .

This is only partly true. It seems to hold true for homosexual men who identify as women, but it's exactly the opposite for heterosexual men (autogynephiles) who identify as women. In fact, the autogynephiles are actually more male than normal heterosexual men. It is also a moot point as long as we are not going to require brain scans to confirm such a state of being for official qualification as transgender.

And it's also important to note that the heterosexual autogynephiles outright reject gender dysphoria and describe themselves as gender euphoric.

It is also the heterosexual autogynephiles who reject any "gatekeeping" or competent medical/psychological diagnoses and demand the privilege of self-identification.

so its definitely not a mental illness and not just a choice to be different.

It's intellectually dishonest to make such a blanket statement. There are no doubt many causes and reasons for people to identify as the opposite sex, and mental illness is no doubt one of them.

...if you want to be a female then think like a female and act like one...

Because "females" (and "males") all think and act the same??? Please. Would a man who "feels like" a woman in Victorian England also "feel like" a woman in Amazonian lore? Would a man who "feels like" a woman in the USA also "feel like" a woman in Saudi Arabia?

This mindset is literally setting people up for failure. I am a woman, and I cannot tell you how it feels to be a female, how a female thinks, how a female acts... we are all different. We are all individuals, a unique product of our own combination of nature and nurture. What we have in common is our anatomy and biology. Not a "girl brain." It is absolutely impossible for anyone to know what it "feels like" to be anyone or anything except themselves. Anyone "living as" the opposite sex is living as themselves. Even if they adopt and express those stereotypes they perceive as being "female" or "male."

a reply to: sapien82

You understand that the brain is plastic to certain extent though, right?

You can train the brain to exhibit patterns you want up to a point. Treat a child like a girl when he's not biologically, and you might start training those patterns into his brain.

I was involved in a program that worked with brain plasticity to help children who had specific learning disabilities training them to form new patterns in their brain to help them get around the traditional learning pathways that form with literacy involving different senses for a full sensory approach.

Occupational and physical and speech therapists use the same approach with stroke and accident victims to help them relearn activities after brain damage.

originally posted by: sapien82
Those who suffer gender dysphoria exhibit the brain patterns of their desired sex , not their natal sex at early stages of development .

so its definitely not a mental illness and not just a choice to be different.

The problem with that position is the majority of people with gender dysphoria outgrow it. I believe it is about 95% of children outgrow it.

How can you rectify that with your position this is a permanent state of them being wired like the opposite sex and they are just born this way?

And how can we justify treatments for children when 95% will cease identifying as trans?