The moment you first gained consciousness

"What does it mean to exist?"

OK. That (general) question was what went through my mind. It obviously wasn't nearly so well worded. As a 5 year old or whatever, I had never contemplated my own existence enough to even comprehend the word "exist". So it was a vague question mark in my mind that caused thoughts that were different enough that I remember that moment however many years later.

But I am surprised my mind came up with such a profound question at that age. As I was never particularly bright. But I guess I was always usually curious.

EDIT - I think the question was probably supposed to be "What's the first thing you remember?" rather than the first time I realized life and human thought was really something mysterious.

On that, I'm not really sure. I have much older memories but kinda hazy.

a reply to: Archivalist

There are two awakenings of consciousness in my opinion, the first at a young age and the second if lucky enough.

Maybe a third too?

Eye opening answers, but I want to clarify. I do not mean first memory.

I mean the first time you are able to formulate a decision in your mind, with the distinct realization that you are your own person and can think and act for yourself.

I have memories prior to the one I mentioned, but did not have a distinct sense of self AND control of the inner voice/inner monologue of my mind.

I believe children gain full consciousness at the age of 5 or 6. From my own experience, I don't remember much of anything before the age of 5.

So you all talk like its normal to ‘think’. Some people dont have the ability to hear their own voice in their head. There is three different ways to think. For example, I dont have the ability to see any visuals in my head, I cant see my father - but I know how he looks like.

I asked my friend how he ‘thinks’ and he was kinda blown away by the question as he has never ‘thought’ about that before. He is thinking in pictures, im thinking in words, and then there is pattern thinking.

So now, when did my friend gain conciusness?

a reply to: ypperst

Aphantasia?

Interesting.

Either way,

I'm using a descriptor that seems specific, but I mean it in a generalized sense, my friend.

I'm not picking on your brain, don't be so thin skinned.

The first thing I remember was being told that my 'mother' was coming to collect me from the weird daycare/ healthcare facility I was in, on the military base where I was later to live with father, mother & brother. Except that when they told me about 'mother', my first internal thought was something akin to "But I don't have a mother. Who is this mother character, exactly. Why is she coming & what does she want with me? Is having a new mother a good thing?"

Things got weirder from there. I was told to sit on a little wall & wait, because I had apparently hurt myself when playing football with the older boys, who had all now disappeared. Later I was told that I had broken my leg, but as I recall, I just fell over, got back up again, & carried right on playing. I genuinely believe there were shenanigans going on, what with the disinformation right off the bat...

a reply to: Archivalist

Oh I didnt mean to sound hostile haha

I know what you mean, and I have been wondering about it the whole day - when were my first break thru, and I just cant seem to put my finger on it.

Which is kinda annoying tbh.

a reply to: Archivalist

I remember being in diapers … maybe before age 2?

Reaching into my diapers, and there was poop there.

Sucks. Not elegant .. . but that is indeed my first memory. Ugly hah

My first memory was being REALLY young, like pre toddler young. I was small enough that my grandmother was able to bathe me in the kitchen sink and I remember it pretty clearly.

a reply to: Archivalist

If not first memories (I was a baby in someone's arms & they kept rubbing some awful, bitter liquid on my gums as they thought I was teething, when I was actually consumed with thirst). . .the Awakening first came as I lay face down in grass, looking at the ants crawling in the forest of roots, when I realized I was I.

I drove my mother nuts, saying, "Everything that is, is. . and everything that is not, IS not."

Then again, years after, when I read the phrase, "The content of consciousness is consciousness" (J Krishnamurti) something clicked in my brain & I was breathless with excitement & sat as if paralyzed for an entire day.

a reply to: Archivalist

Great thread. Something I've never sat down to think about. But my two most vivid memories are when I was at a grocery store in Texas. I specifically remember being in the basket part of the buggy, it would have been 1979, and I was bouncing on my butt as my mom was pushing through a cold deli section and I unlatched the front of the basket and fell out. I can remember my mom screaming and freaking out and grabbing me, pulling me close to her and telling me it would be ok. I was 8 months old according to her, when that happened. I also have another memory...

We lived in my grandmother's cottage, moved there in 1980. It's well known that my grandmother's house and cottage are both haunted, unknown to me at the time of course. But I can vividly remember when my mom would lay me down for a nap in a little bed in the sunroom of this cottage, a little boy would appear in the corner of the room and do things that made me laugh. When he put his finger over his mouth I can remember closing my eyes. Soon after that, my mom would come in there and check on me. This happened several times that I can remember. Years later I asked my mom about it and she confirmed that she would hear me laughing and would come down there to check on me but I would be asleep. When she asked me if I could describe, to the best of my memory, what the little boy looked like, she says I described her dad's brother who died of at the age of 4. A virus that I don't believe could be treated successfully in the 1920's.

Those are my two earliest memories. Oh, I was around a year and a half on the second one. I can remember other things from those young ages but not vividly. I can faintly recall them if my parents or sister talk about them.

originally posted by: Night Star
a reply to: Archivalist

This will sound like I'm bonkers but what the hell...I was a baby and though I could understand what was being said to me, I couldn't speak yet. I remember wanting my Mother to rock me and I kept crying. She was making sweet talk to soothe me and asked things like, "Awww, what's the matter with my baby girl?" I was mad because she wasn't listening. LOL I was thinking in my head that I wanted to be rocked in the rocking chair and I thought, you're my Mother, I'm telling you, you should know, why aren't you listening?

Doesn't sound bonkers to at all...

Gettin' spanked by my mama

originally posted by: Archivalist
I remember the first time I gained consciousness.

My mother was asking me if I wanted to go to Headstart.

Headstart is a type of prekindergarten class here.

Literally the phrase when she said the words "head" "start" was the moment I gained the inner voice in my mind, and could formulate self thought.

Isn't that interesting?
Like a sleeper soldier command word.
"Head start" and so my head began. I could think.

I don't often question reality, but now I wonder a little more. How about you? The moment you gained access and control of your own mind and thought. Your inner monologue and ability to truly think.

When did it happen? You should remember it vividly, right? The first time you thought, for yourself.

Was it in response to a question, by another? Was it unprompted?

Remembering and consciousness is not the same thing. Just because your very first memory is of your mom asking u a question doesn't mean that's when you gained consciousness. How do you explain everything before that? All the communication you did with your parents before you "remembered"? Telling them you're hungry or you need a diaper change? Are you saying that is all involuntary?

The moment you take your first breath you are conscious whether you remember or not.

I remember being four years old sitting in the car staring at a garage where a neighbor had a replica t rex skeleton in one if those open carports. My mother said look at that and said my name and I was like "oh that's my name" and realized I had no idea who that was or anything before that. Is that normal or was I replaced?

My first memory is of about age 2 or 3 in a tin bath near the fire in my Nanna Gardiners house. Must have been late 70s or so. But my first realisation of how the world is and looks was when I was about 4 and I first picked up a pencil. My friends were drawing round heads on stick legs, but I was doing necks, torsos, wrists etc. I rember teachers and family members all praising me and feeling great about it.

a reply to: Archivalist

I was two or three, fishing in the neibours pond with a toy rod and reel, also feeling very uncomfortable because I had soiled myself and it was running out of the old cloth nappy and down my legs on a 30 degree summer day..!!

I didn't care though, I wanted to catch one of those goldfish..!!

How would you even know she was your mother? You had no concept of family. Also your eyes weren't focused yet.
Sounds like a late night acid trip gone bad after sneaking into the zoo.
I'm sure the gorilla didn't do things to you...sexually while you slept.
I wasn't so fortunate.

originally posted by: Archivalist
I remember the first time I gained consciousness.

My mother was asking me if I wanted to go to Headstart.

Headstart is a type of prekindergarten class here.

Literally the phrase when she said the words "head" "start" was the moment I gained the inner voice in my mind, and could formulate self thought.

Isn't that interesting?
Like a sleeper soldier command word.
"Head start" and so my head began. I could think.

I don't often question reality, but now I wonder a little more. How about you? The moment you gained access and control of your own mind and thought. Your inner monologue and ability to truly think.

When did it happen? You should remember it vividly, right? The first time you thought, for yourself.

That was not when you became conscious..... that was the moment that you believed that you are the thinker of thought!
You then became a slave..... freedom is then sought.
Paradise was lost...... even though the garden of Eden was still present......

You believed yourself to be a separate thing and now feel shame and fear death.