The moment you first gained consciousness

I remember the first time I gained consciousness.

My mother was asking me if I wanted to go to Headstart.

Headstart is a type of prekindergarten class here.

Literally the phrase when she said the words "head" "start" was the moment I gained the inner voice in my mind, and could formulate self thought.

Isn't that interesting?
Like a sleeper soldier command word.
"Head start" and so my head began. I could think.

I don't often question reality, but now I wonder a little more. How about you? The moment you gained access and control of your own mind and thought. Your inner monologue and ability to truly think.

When did it happen? You should remember it vividly, right? The first time you thought, for yourself.

Was it in response to a question, by another? Was it unprompted?

The first thing I remember is being chased up the stairs at my great-grandparent's house by a cousin. I was two, he was I think five or six.

a reply to: Archivalist

First memory. It was a picture I took with some family friends of my parents at 4. I recall the moment and the day. I saw the photo like 30 something years later in a shoe box and remembered that day. Didn't even have to guess about it. I totally remembered it like it was yesterday.

Ita reply to: Archivalist

Wrong, your talking about your first memory, you have no idea when you first gained consciousness. You may have always been conscious.


Jaden

a reply to: Archivalist

This will sound like I'm bonkers but what the hell...I was a baby and though I could understand what was being said to me, I couldn't speak yet. I remember wanting my Mother to rock me and I kept crying. She was making sweet talk to soothe me and asked things like, "Awww, what's the matter with my baby girl?" I was mad because she wasn't listening. LOL I was thinking in my head that I wanted to be rocked in the rocking chair and I thought, you're my Mother, I'm telling you, you should know, why aren't you listening?

When I woke up while in the womb and began developing a habit/idiosyncacy responding to moMs voice with a kick..according to aunty the ob gyn

While asleep we're unconscious? Or..?

a reply to: Night Star

I was thinking in my head that I wanted to be rocked in the rocking chair and I thought, you're my Mother, I'm telling you, you should know, why aren't you listening?

This is REALLY interesting! I'd never considered that a young child would expect others to know their thoughts like this, but I have to say, it really makes sense now that I think about it. One of the first things we learn to do is differentiate ourselves from our surroundings, and our own thoughts may be one of the last things we realize are only part of ourselves.

a reply to: Night Star

I just can't post anything without it being TOS violation.

a reply to: Archivalist

I was 4 and had just been stung by a wasp for the first time.

The age of 4 is about average of recalling something long term. I know there is a spectrum that tilts further but 4 is about average. 3 or younger is possible I guess but highly improbable. Without understanding language, some sense of time it's just nonsense and fades away.

The percentage goes up with trama. A car wreck, burning house. I could see a 3 year old recalling that event. Pain, heat, burning sensation. Those events get fingerprinted in the mind and never leave.

The moment you first gained consciousness

It's forbidden to go into any real detail, let's just say it involved a cactus, some mushrooms, and a beautiful Mexican bruja.

I was sixteen...

a reply to: Archivalist

Ya I remember, it was a Friday Nov. 22 1963 I was four yo.

depends on what level of consciousness we are talking about.
Consciousness of self/ first memory, about 3. (Individualism)
Consciousness of my family/ friends about 3. (Conformism)
Internal dialogue, shortly after around 4. (Rationalism)
Realization of others as having consciousnesses around 4. (Pluralism)
Understanding of the state of Systems beyond those I associated with 6. (Integralism)

This one is iffy, as the state comes and goes and was around 10 (Transcendentalism)
The reason this one is iffy is I associated it with my first time "astral projecting" however it was not an "everything is one" experience.

a reply to: Archivalist

I was standing next to my father holding me on his palms, popping back and forth in to my baby reality and out to super-consciousness exterior to the baby body. Exterior view was like looking through a bubble, or thru a lense of some sort, but pure consciousness, bliss. I was only few days old.Two palms lengths tall.

just a small bump inside my mother , being very afraid to leave (-.3 years ?). After that I lost consiousness. Next scene standing before the berlin wall with my pappa 3years old. don't know if it was just a dream but the 'being very afraid part' remained for the rest of my life grafted into my memory. might kickstarted my quest to search for answes .

In the summer of 1973 my family had taken me to DIsneyland. I don't remember it as I was only a little over 3 years old at the time but I learned the backstory of the whole trip from my relatives over the years. A few months after that trip is when I had my first moment of lucidity and awareness when several older kids (teenagers) had forcibly taken my pirates of the Caribbean rifle and were threatening to throw it into the sewer if I did not take the candy they had offered for me to eat. By instinct I somehow knew that I should not take the candy and I had a really bad feeling about it all but my gun was at stake (it was my prized possession) and it was being dangled over the opening of the sewer grate. So I took the candy and ate it and then that scene at the sewer grate faded from memory and then I found myself sitting in my bedroom playing with some wooden blocks on the floor. I remember it feeling like my head somehow contained those blocks but that there wasn't enough room for them in my head because they were getting bigger inside and it felt like my head was going to burst. That scene also faded and when I came to (no idea how much time elapsed) I was in a hospital room and that was where I stayed for about a week or so from what I can gather. My parents and the nurses, doctors and policemen kept asking me over and over again what those older kids looked like, what were they wearing, etc. They were asking because the kids had fed me '___' and I must have had a seizure as a result of it which is why I spent about a week in observation. Later in life I had a uniquely strange experience shortly after graduating... during that summer I was offered a hit of a piece of paper they called rainbow dragon (it was acid). I took the acid this time willingly and the strangest part of the whole night is how I seemed to keep going back in time to that moment when I was 3 when those older kids gave me the candy. The entire night I just kept reliving what had taken place that summer day in 1973. I purposely left some parts of this out because some it is quite disturbing (i don't want to upset people) and there are other things that to this day I really am not sure what exactly was real at times... My first memory's were psychadelic and supernatural...

I have a zillion ‘early’ memories... like climbing out of my crib and hanging on the side for dear life, and my parents finally getting me down.... the awful experience of sticking my hands in my cake for my 1st birthday, or even the first tornado warning/high wind storm I experienced (seeing a swing set tumble through the yard from the window was unsettling) these are vague and are probably more feelings than thoughts though.

But an interesting experience I remember was accessing the control I had, in a sense.... watching a ceiling fan spin around. I was probably 3-4 ish... it was the first time I caught the “single blade” and started following it... then I’d lose it again into a whirlwind of spinning.... only to catch it again... and you know how it makes the whole appearance of the fan spinning “slow down” as you’re following that single blade? But then once you lose it, back to just whirlwind spinning....

I remember purposely oscillating between the two perceptions and exploring the control I had over what I was seeing... it was pretty amazing at the time.

To this day sometimes to relax i will catch a fan blade ... it’s like a tool to center my mind.

Cool thread.

a reply to: Archivalist

Consciousness? What's that?

Seriously though, it was about 30 mins ago when I woke up this morning.

Everything else is memory, in my opinion.

a reply to: Archivalist

Autumn, 1963. I was three. My mother had plopped me into my stroller and wheeled me down to the nearby railroad crossing, where JFK was coming through on his campaign train. There were lots of people and it was very festive.

It was close to Halloween and I had one of those masks with the rubber band on the back that you pull over your head. I think it was Casper the friendly ghost. The world seemed like a wonderful, happy place.

That was the beginning of my self-awareness, I think.

5 years old and Mom teaching me how to count to 100 and say the alphabet.
Both forward and backwards for each.
Good times