Squirrels are CIA agents

You can laugh if you want but..They're nuts!. Every spring they appear, seemingly out of nowhere. It's like they come out of hiding, micro chipped and ready to take us all down!. They climb and balance themselves like a trained Ninja. Walking the wires and never missing one step! It's obvious they have had Military training. They are smart, the find the nuts they hid 6 months ago with ease!. Some would say a sense of smell would lead them back to their nuts but, I SAY NUTS TO THAT! We have entered the age of unprecedented surveillance! Earlier today as I paid a few bills online..they we're watching me! I look out the window and low and behold theirs a GD Squirrel watching my every move. I don't trust them and neither should you!
I would also keep a keen eye on the oh so cute BUNNY RABBIT! their up to no good! every time I spot one they freeze up... I see you, you stupid Rabbit. freezing in place doesn't make you invisible!!

Just trying to raise awareness regarding animal spies, as we hit the summer months. Be vigilant..and WTH ever happened to chipmunks..did they not comply to the proposed agenda?

Iran cracks nutty 'spy squirrel' ring In 2007, Iran took hostage 14 foreign squirrels who were attempting to infiltrate the country with 'spy gear,' according to state news, though no photos were ever released. As a former CIA agent told NPR, "No, it's complete idiocy. You can't use squirrels for espionage." The squirrel's whereabouts are unknown.

www.pri.org...

1. SECRET SQUIRREL You may know him as the mascot of ClearanceJobs. It’s hard to find a military intelligence unit or CIA office that doesn’t use the phrase “secret squirrel” in conversation and internal memos. Notably, the phrase originated on television. In 1965, Hanna-Barbera produced a sendup of spy flicks, which starred a squirrel wearing a trench coat. The cartoon was, of course, “Secret Squirrel.” For whatever reason—pleasing alliteration, most likely—the military adopted the phrase, and service members began applying it to all things classified. During the Gulf War, the longest combat mission in Strategic Air Command’s history was officially called SENIOR SURPRISE; internally, airmen called it SECRET SQUIRREL. (The unit’s patch reflects the unofficial naming.) Later, during negotiations in 2014 to re-normalize relations between the United States and Cuba, the Obama administration and Castro regime entered talks to exchange prisoners. The secret talks were called Project Ardilla, which is Spanish for “squirrel.” In this case, the secret variety.

news.clearancejobs.com...

Secret Squirrels are the worst!

Find a White Rabbit

a reply to: Sabrechucker

Classic misdirection from the spooks.

We really need to be more worried about the crows.

a reply to: CriticalStinker

I've noticed the crows come around but, they don't squawk the way they used to. MKKrow?

a reply to: Sabrechucker

I just couldn't help but be reminded of this little gem:



Coincidence?

a reply to: ColdWisdom

I wouldn't worry so much if they weren't after Nuts. I not only have some but, A few Ex's have called me one.

Dire Straits

a reply to: Sabrechucker

They know your face and are holding a grudge.

Oldest form of Facebook.

originally posted by: CriticalStinker
a reply to: Sabrechucker

Classic misdirection from the spooks.

We really need to be more worried about the crows.

No kidding. I'm pretty sure there's a large percentage of humans who couldn't even figure out this puzzle...

a reply to: CriticalStinker

Secret Squirrels are the original facebook..Makes sense to me

Around here it's the robbins. I've destroyed the nests(when vacant, late fall early spring) in the hopes they'd never come back.

Every year they do. They sit outside my windows and look at me. When I leave the house they stand in the yard(not 4 feet away) and just...well...stand there. They are very dominant of my property. It bothers me every year.

Every year I come to the decision that I'll shoot all of them, enact a "no fly space" if you will on my property. But every year I just can't come to do it(I'm such a softy).

It's started a few weeks ago, when I get up and start to make my lunch I see them sitting on the deck, just feet away, staring at me.

Why won't they just leave me alone.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Ironically we're detached from the idea nature could hold a grudge on us.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Great video! Us humans act so smart, That was problem solving 101..all 8 stages. I would have kicked something at the mid point.

a reply to: MisterSpock

Of the two, I find that squirrel tastes better.

Although robin breasts make a pretty decent version of a lark pie, if done right.

TMI, perhaps?

originally posted by: Lumenari
a reply to: MisterSpock

Of the two, I find that squirrel tastes better.

Although robin breasts make a pretty decent version of a lark pie, if done right.

TMI, perhaps?

Great info, but that's why I really have no follow through on my "anger" over these things. I won't kill anything intentionally that I don't intend to consume(circle of life and all that).

Still it is pretty frustrating, after all it is MY PROPERTY. I've showen them the deed and they just chirp and fly away. Little bastards.

a reply to: Sabrechucker

Its true. Check the history books. There were no squirrles or squirrel ancestors in the fossil record, until they just, showed up fully evolved around 3,500 years ago. Aliens seeded the planet with "cute" animals that we would have an urge to not harm them, and even invite into our homes, and they can look through the eyes of these animals to spy on us...

Cats were seeded first, and the Egyptians took to them quickly. But, eventually the aliens realized that, some people have an instinct that tells them something is not right with these cats and so they instinctually avoid them. They're called "Non-cat owners". So they had to develop a creature that would be designed not to live In the home, but around it, on the roof of it, etc. They were made to be good climbers, tree dwellers, since their primary purpose is to peek in the windows of people who don't have cats.

I just made this entire thing up, but I had fun, thanks!

a reply to: MisterSpock

Don't be the guy gangster spraying Robins from his front porch..bad optics. I also have noticed they are a brazen bird, Is it true they only eat worms?

originally posted by: Sabrechucker
a reply to: MisterSpock

Don't be the guy gangster spraying Robins from his front porch..bad optics. I also have noticed they are a brazen bird, Is it true they only eat worms?

I watched one kill and eat a garter snake once, so I'm going to say no.

originally posted by: Sabrechucker
a reply to: MisterSpock

Don't be the guy gangster spraying Robins from his front porch..bad optics. I also have noticed they are a brazen bird, Is it true they only eat worms?

Ironically, nobody would ever now of my robin genocide. I have a nice 10/22 takedown with a silencer. Given a week, a few beers a night and a few boxes of cci suppressed ammo I could have a literal dead zone over my property. But as I've stated above, it just wouldn't be a very symbiotic response to my inconvenience.

a reply to: 3n19m470

Your "lies" are quite welcomed. The Sphinx was a total hoax. So often we forget we are guests on an Animal Planet.

originally posted by: Lumenari
a reply to: MisterSpock

Of the two, I find that squirrel tastes better.

Although robin breasts make a pretty decent version of a lark pie, if done right.

TMI, perhaps?

WHAT WHAT WHAT!!!

Next thing you'll say is that your or my great great relatives from West Virginia chewing on Willow Bark for the Aspirin quality..

originally posted by: Lumenari

originally posted by: Sabrechucker
a reply to: MisterSpock

Don't be the guy gangster spraying Robins from his front porch..bad optics. I also have noticed they are a brazen bird, Is it true they only eat worms?

I watched one kill and eat a garter snake once, so I'm going to say no.

I believe it.

Around here I just have bull snakes(big ones, like 3+ feet long and fat). No mice, I wish those snakes would eat the birds too. But then again, I guess I'd have a problem if the snakes started sitting on my porch and watching me make lunch.

I guess this all falls under first world problems and such.