I triggered a Gen "I" kid at store - thought he was going to cry or freak out

originally posted by: KansasGirl
OP: who knew we had so many absolute saints here at ATS, huh?

I am flabbergasted by the replies in this thread. People who act like this in public have no manners and are self-centered to the extreme. It's a big chunk of why society is sliding into hell.

You people who are crying for this kid that maybe he was having a bad day, or he had OCD or some disability: how does ANY of that prevent him from having some damn BASIC common manners?

If we all acted like that every time we had a rough morning, society would come to a standstill. You know what part of life is? Dealing with your own sh!t and still being able to interact with others in a civilized way. You don't make a line full of people behind you wait an extra four minutes for NO reason but that you felt bad that day.

Disability: again, how and why does that preclude him from having basic manners?? If his disability prevents him from being able to function in public with basic manners and awareness of others, I dare say he shouldn't be out in public.

OP wasn't a jerk and didn't do anything wrong. You saints (HA!) can take your self-righteous little hearts and do some volunteer work if you're so offended. Offer to accompany that OCD kid around when he has to go out in public so that you can help ameliorate those situations when they pop up. Put your money where your self-righteous mouths are.

Thanks for the words. You said basically exactly what I was thinking while in the store and that is why I posted this, not b/c I "bullied" a kid and upset him, but b/c it is societal behavior that I see too much - and I wanted to see what others thought on this.

I'd bet large sums of money that if one of this kids "supporters" on here were to accompany him to the store, they would tell him "it's ok, take your time, there's no rush, these people can WAIT" all while there is 4-5ft of open/empty stainless steel bagging area just 12 inches to their right - but they will continue to stand at the kiosk so no one else can progress. I wouldn't want to imagine what would happen if someone DARED say something to them, they'd probably break out their rape whistle.

a reply to: verschickter

Please. There was no honorable or practical purpose for passive-aggressively heckling a kid obviously having a difficult time. And there is absolutely nothing good about then bragging about it.

All the kid knew was that someone behind him was making comments. We're not even sure the kid could hear clearly, or that the person was speaking to him. Distracting to say the least, perhaps intimidating as well. Either way, it didn't help.

At no time did the cashier suggest a better way to him, who was in a position to do so. Nor did the cashier offer help to get him on his way -- or at least out of the way.

Nor did the OP or anyone else offer him help, or clearly and nicely suggest he move aside -- presuming there was room to do so. A simple friendly "Can I help you get organized? Let's get out of the way so the line can keep moving..." would have gone so much farther for everyone's sake. And the kid would have learned better in the best way.

Instead, the OP spoke only from the anonymity of a group, indirectly, softly at first, then a little louder, from behind him -- and not even immediately behind him. We have no idea what or how much the kid even heard -- or who said it.

Nor did the OP address the cashier -- or her manager -- about the issue... The adults who actually have the responsibility and the ability to do better by their customers -- both the kid struggling and the customers waiting.

It would also seem that the kid shouldn't have been checked out at Customer Service to begin with, which would be the cashiers first mistake. Or perhaps it was allowed, and the store needs to change that policy for expediency. It's the store that owes the customers a standard of service -- including inexperienced and awkward kids who are struggling with their purchases.

And those who pick on the weaker and less experienced -- such as an adult picking on a kid -- is a bully.

originally posted by: narrator
It sounds to me like the kid had pretty severe OCD, or had some other type of mental handicap, if he wanted to check out at the customer service desk instead of the usual checkouts, and because he was repeatedly taking stuff out of his bag to replace it "just so".

That wasn't a Gen-I kid thinking he was more important than everyone in line. That was most likely someone with some sort of disability.

And now you're bragging about "triggering" him. Congratulations.

Think before you speak.

Disability or not, folks need to learn/use manners. Disability does not equal everybody else screw off...

originally posted by: DigginFoTroof

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: DigginFoTroof

I like that. You know if someone honks they may just be trying to get your attention and see if you are leaving so they can take your spot. Some people go back and sit in the car waiting for other people. It's not always meant to be rude. there are lots of reasons for this, especially if the car is in reverse (rev lights) someone might want your spot b/c they have been looking for 10 mins already.

Now it is different if they lay on the horn, but a short beep beep or rolling down the windows asking if you are leaving soon or waiting for someone, do you consider that rude or bad?

Just curious b/c I've had all that done to me and I've beep'd at many people checking if they were leaving or were going to be there awhile.

Or perhaps they could just park 5 slots further down where there is ALWAYS empty slots from there to the end of the parking lot and “gasp” walk and get some exercise! I know exercise isn’t in vogue in America right now, but it sure could go a long way in helping folks control weight/diabetes .

originally posted by: Lab4Us

originally posted by: DigginFoTroof

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: DigginFoTroof

I like that. You know if someone honks they may just be trying to get your attention and see if you are leaving so they can take your spot. Some people go back and sit in the car waiting for other people. It's not always meant to be rude. there are lots of reasons for this, especially if the car is in reverse (rev lights) someone might want your spot b/c they have been looking for 10 mins already.

Now it is different if they lay on the horn, but a short beep beep or rolling down the windows asking if you are leaving soon or waiting for someone, do you consider that rude or bad?

Just curious b/c I've had all that done to me and I've beep'd at many people checking if they were leaving or were going to be there awhile.

Or perhaps they could just park 5 slots further down where there is ALWAYS empty slots from there to the end of the parking lot and “gasp” walk and get some exercise! I know exercise isn’t in vogue in America right now, but it sure could go a long way in helping folks control weight/diabetes .

Some places there is not a spot to be found, I've had to drive for 45 mins to find a spot before, ANY spot, it was during the holidays thought (mid Dec)

(dude in front of me was watching a YT video, so I could see the time).

so youre the annoying guy who stands to close at the check in and you stood up to a nervous teenager.
welldone.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

When I notice someone just having 2-3 goods getting in line behind me and I have a ton of stuff, I often let that person pass. Generally, they are very happy and when they thank me I tell them to "give it to the next" meaning, if he´s happy that I did that, he can make others happy by doing the same, when in the same situation.

So one day I did that and I also let an elderly women pass, directly after a young man who just had an energy drink. The elderly had a bit more goods but I noticed her bag was a big too heavy.

As she had put her stuff on the rolling band, I was going to unpack my stuff from the cart onto the conveyor belt (ha, that´s the word!) when a young women, maybe in her mid 20s, jumped in between me and the old lady and threw some hygene product on the conveyor, while grinning into my face saying "so then I can skip too, right?!!" It was more a statement then a question.

I wasn´t amused, I looked her into the eyes one brow raised while I took that pack of wet towels and threw it in the basket directly next to the belt. She could not reach it while I packed my stuff on the conveyor belt. As I finished I put that "divider" thing behind my stuff, took the wet towels and put it behind the divider (edit: and gave the guy behind me a twinkle).

The person behind me, did the same thing, with a grin on the face, I noticed the sparkle in the eyes and so I made a smug face too, nearly bursted in laughter.

Just when the other guy behind me took it out, she violently grapped after it. I said to her (translated), you know, if you had asked and not smugly exploit the situation, you would be paying right now.

The lady turned around then, too and said something similar in the sense of, she´s ruining such polite things by demanding it and spoiling it for everyone, thanked me again and turned around to mind her business again.

There are just such people out there, who either try to exploit everything possible or just don´t have a sense for their surroundings and manners. Had similar other experiences.

This "you can skip me" thing is karma related. 8 out of 10 times people let me pass when I have 2-3 goods. It´s a give and take. You don´t ask for it, you don´t expect it but you are grateful if it happens.



Edit: I only do this if the person is directly behind me or arriving behind me. I won´t let them skip the whole line so that others have to wait longer.

originally posted by: Middleoftheroad
I hate the lottery people that decide to buy a million lottery tickets first thing in the morning while everyone is in route to work.

Or at any time. That is the crazy thing. Some places let you choose your lucky numbers. Others just let you choose the lucky five or six scratch card. But those people just stand there and stare at the card as if they have X-ray vision that would let them see the one true choice, but it only works now and again.

For my parents, they are out in the country. Their problem is that some people just store their spare change in about a half dozen different little purses. When it comes to make the payment it is in cash, and they just go through about a dozen different pockets looking for those half dozen purses in order to get the right coins out.

I always used to stand out of the way in the event that I have some delay in getting groceries packed. But these days I just get them delivered.

originally posted by: Boadicea
a reply to: verschickter

Please. There was no honorable or practical purpose for passive-aggressively heckling a kid obviously having a difficult time. And there is absolutely nothing good about then bragging about it.

All the kid knew was that someone behind him was making comments. We're not even sure the kid could hear clearly, or that the person was speaking to him. Distracting to say the least, perhaps intimidating as well. Either way, it didn't help.

At no time did the cashier suggest a better way to him, who was in a position to do so. Nor did the cashier offer help to get him on his way -- or at least out of the way.

Nor did the OP or anyone else offer him help, or clearly and nicely suggest he move aside -- presuming there was room to do so. A simple friendly "Can I help you get organized? Let's get out of the way so the line can keep moving..." would have gone so much farther for everyone's sake. And the kid would have learned better in the best way.

Instead, the OP spoke only from the anonymity of a group, indirectly, softly at first, then a little louder, from behind him -- and not even immediately behind him. We have no idea what or how much the kid even heard -- or who said it.

Nor did the OP address the cashier -- or her manager -- about the issue... The adults who actually have the responsibility and the ability to do better by their customers -- both the kid struggling and the customers waiting.

It would also seem that the kid shouldn't have been checked out at Customer Service to begin with, which would be the cashiers first mistake. Or perhaps it was allowed, and the store needs to change that policy for expediency. It's the store that owes the customers a standard of service -- including inexperienced and awkward kids who are struggling with their purchases.

And those who pick on the weaker and less experienced -- such as an adult picking on a kid -- is a bully.

Ok tinkerbell. I'd like to know how many people thought I was bragging about this. I sure hope you don't have kids or are married, I can't imagine how much you misinterpret with them.

The cashier, WAS the manager. You see she had no problem with me saying anything, and even agreed with it because I was correct in doing so. She had 4 other people in line to take care of. The store probably has a non-confrontational policy towards customers, much like most every other store you go to. I just can't get over how blind you are and how unperceptive you are.

He had his stuff in a shopping bag, like everyone else in the GD store when they pay. It was his choice to play re-arrainge the goods, in the middle of the line, when he didn't need the service of the cashier, and 4 others did (it may have been more by that point, I didn't count after the first comment). Why couldn't he walk out with the plastic grocery bag and not put it in the satchel? NO MATTER what you say, it should have ended there, but HE chose to hold everyone up. It doesn't matter his reason for moving stuff around, there are 4 benches right in front of the check-out lanes and another 8 outside the store if he wanted to get all fancy with his color coordination of his sundries.

But please make more excuses b/c it is helping, I won't tell you what, but you are doing a good job.! Thanks!

This thread is hilarious. I have both agreed with and laughed with both sides. Thanks everyone.

a reply to: Boadicea
Dear snowflake, please melt somewhere else.

So if an adult rebukes a minor it´s now bullying?
I would laugh my ass off if it wasn´t that sad.

A ~15-16 year old is hardly a kid.
Yeah, blame it on some cashier.

Blame it on the world but not the kid.
Pathetic.

So as I see it YOU were set off by a few measly minutes out of your day.

So everyone is hung up on "15-16" year old thing. You don't know the kind of kids we produce around here. For all I know he could have been 18-21. I've seen 21yr olds who look 14 or as old as 35 and I've seen 14yr old's who are 345lbs and look to be in their 20's.

how about that 18yr old from Ferguson. 6'4" 310lbs - Michael something or other.....


How old do you think this kid is?

5vERjFgTJTo

And what about this high school kid?

nypost.com...

Now those are extremes but kids these days are a bit of a different breed. No one ever stopped to think about things, just go straight to condemning the "other".

Just imagine if I had called this person "kid" or "sonny", i'd probably be put on a pyre for agism.

originally posted by: Rikku

(dude in front of me was watching a YT video, so I could see the time).

so youre the annoying guy who stands to close at the check in and you stood up to a nervous teenager.
welldone.

Yeah, I climbed into my cart and rested my head on his shoulder to see the video. I did think it was odd that he didn't say anything about it to me... Great, now I got to think about that!!!

Just imagine if I had called this person "kid" or "sonny", i'd probably be put on a pyre for agism.

God beware, SJWs would storm ATS server room to get your IP, screaming at the server rack it´s a racist piece of # because it´s case black when it could be beige.

originally posted by: Lab4Us

originally posted by: narrator
It sounds to me like the kid had pretty severe OCD, or had some other type of mental handicap, if he wanted to check out at the customer service desk instead of the usual checkouts, and because he was repeatedly taking stuff out of his bag to replace it "just so".

That wasn't a Gen-I kid thinking he was more important than everyone in line. That was most likely someone with some sort of disability.

And now you're bragging about "triggering" him. Congratulations.

Think before you speak.

Disability or not, folks need to learn/use manners. Disability does not equal everybody else screw off...

Didn't sound like the kid was doing this on purpose.

Makes me think of these people who whiz by me on the highway and nearly kill everyone to save themselves three minutes as we all reach the stop light next to each other, makes me laugh the rush to same a few minutes of time.

a reply to: SeaWorthy
You would soil yourself every three seconds on the autobahn.

Here you get the honk and headlights in the backmirror doing 320km/h to get the f off the fast lane. That´s 198,839mph in imperial.

Regardless how fast you go, there will be someone faster. I´ve done faster than that and still got headlights. It must be a nightmare for you

originally posted by: Lab4Us

originally posted by: narrator
It sounds to me like the kid had pretty severe OCD, or had some other type of mental handicap, if he wanted to check out at the customer service desk instead of the usual checkouts, and because he was repeatedly taking stuff out of his bag to replace it "just so".

That wasn't a Gen-I kid thinking he was more important than everyone in line. That was most likely someone with some sort of disability.

And now you're bragging about "triggering" him. Congratulations.

Think before you speak.

Disability or not, folks need to learn/use manners. Disability does not equal everybody else screw off...

SO you have never been the slow one? having a bad day or your arthritis acting up?
Big ole plang in the eyes around here. Pretty clear it was not some intentional behavior.

originally posted by: verschickter
a reply to: SeaWorthy
You would soil yourself every three seconds on the autobahn.

Here you get the honk and headlights in the backmirror doing 320km/h to get the f off the fast lane. That´s 198,839mph in imperial.

Regardless how fast you go, there will be someone faster. I´ve done faster than that and still got headlights. It must be a nightmare for you

No I just clearly realize the stupidity.

originally posted by: verschickter
a reply to: SeaWorthy
You would soil yourself every three seconds on the autobahn.

Here you get the honk and headlights in the backmirror doing 320km/h to get the f off the fast lane. That´s 198,839mph in imperial.

Regardless how fast you go, there will be someone faster. I´ve done faster than that and still got headlights. It must be a nightmare for you

Makes me smile. I remember being on it when I was 12 and my friends dad was driving. I was scared scitless and thrilled!!