I triggered a Gen "I" kid at store - thought he was going to cry or freak out

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: DigginFoTroof

I like that. You know if someone honks they may just be trying to get your attention and see if you are leaving so they can take your spot. Some people go back and sit in the car waiting for other people. It's not always meant to be rude. there are lots of reasons for this, especially if the car is in reverse (rev lights) someone might want your spot b/c they have been looking for 10 mins already.

Now it is different if they lay on the horn, but a short beep beep or rolling down the windows asking if you are leaving soon or waiting for someone, do you consider that rude or bad?

Just curious b/c I've had all that done to me and I've beep'd at many people checking if they were leaving or were going to be there awhile.

originally posted by: Boadicea
a reply to: DigginFoTroof

You actually boast about picking on a kid whose great crime is making you wait a few minutes. Wow. How horrible!!!

Seems to me it would have been far more practical and mature to address the cashier... the adult... the one whose responsibility it was to keep her line moving efficiently.

And just being patient and giving a kid a break.

I see the all the SJW's have called the NPC's for backup!

Had this kid committed murder he could be tried as an adult. Old enough to drive, old enough to learn to move out of the way when 5 people are behind you in line!

IDK if any of you who are bashing my actions read what I wrote, about how I said it, or not. I said I wasn't rude or said it with a harsh tone. The cashier agreed with me as well as did everyone in line. but the 10 people who read the story automatically think the worst of me and what I said are just ridiculous.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

I've never had anyone beep at me because I don't take my sweet time like sachet boy in your story! LOL
but I thought that meme was totally funny.

originally posted by: OtherSideOfTheCoin
a reply to: DigginFoTroof

I see where you are coming from, but I'm guessing was coming straight from school, school clothes, school age, 300 yards from school

Ok then so....

Poor kid, its after school, he's had a tough day because the bullies have been at it again, he spent most of lunch hiding in the toilets because they had been threatening him again. There was more of the name calling "FREAK" they shout because this poor dude needs special lessons to help him deal with his ocd. Thats the good bit though, dad got fired a few months back and he's been drinking, mum left, he has to do the shopping because dad's just too sh!t faced to do it and lets face it if he doesn't do it then..... well getting dad mad isn't a good idea when he's been drinking all day.

Then some utter arse hole makes his day even worse by calling him out in front of everyone because he didn't pack up quick enough.

Point is dude, you acted like a total d!ck, you don't know what kind of crap this poor dude is dealing with and you just made his day a little worse. You had a choice you could have gave him a kind smile offered a bit of help and made his day just a little better, but no, you made worse because big Alpha dudes shout down at teenage kids in shops.

Do you see what am getting at yet?

At that moment where you saw him struggling you had a choice, either made his day a little better and offer a kind simile, just say something nice like "ahhh take your time son" or you could be a total jerk and made his day a little worse.

You chose the later.

Wow, you must be a liberal b/c you are dreaming up fantasy abuse stories for this kid within his own school. You don't even know what our district is like. i'm not going to tell you about it, it wouldn't matter to you anyway, but I can say that it isn't like the schools you hear about on the news, not at all, especially in urban or even suburban areas. Just stop until you know what you are talking about. I can safely say there is very small chance of him being abused in school here. Thankfully.

I would have done the same! Politely making him aware of his surroundings and unprudent behavior. If that´s too much for him to grasp or understand, you can´t help.

If you was as polite as you said, I don´t see you at fault. Where´s the problem stepping aside so that others can go on with their life?

It´s like walking through a door and pull the emergency brake right in the arch to look around, dreaming along while others nearly crash into him and or have to wait.

If you then say "excuse me, you´re standing in the middle of a door and I have both hands full, could you please step into the room?" you get the looks.

If you just push him through with whatever you have in your hands, you get the looks or remarks. If you squeeze by, you get the looks or remarks.

These unprudent people exist, they often share narcistic traits.


Edit: I did a big mistake here, I thought obnoxious is a synonym for "unprudent behavior" Retrospectly for every post I used that word, I make clear I mean "unprudent" in the sense, not aware of their surroundings.

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

Wow, you must be a liberal b/c you are dreaming up fantasy abuse stories for this kid within his own school.

That makes me a liberal.

Hmmmm ok then.

Point is you acted like a jerk didn't need to.

I am just trying to point out that you don't know whats going on in that poor dudes life, you made his day a little sh!tter today because he took a little longer than you feel is acceptable to pack his shopping.

I guess what some of you who are so ardently defending this boy's actions either missed or chose to overlook is that he chose to go to customer service to ring up his groceries instead of the 8 self checkouts and 2 express lanes (those didn't have lines, express 1-2 people, self checkout was 1/2 open). Everyone knows you don't go to customer service for checkout unless there is some special reasons (stuff behind counter, they invite you too, etc). you go there for refunds, make a special order, buy stuff that needs ID, etc. But this didn't want to go where customers are supposed to go, nope, right to the short line for him! If he wasn't there there wouldn't have been a line at all at customer service, which is how it is supposed to be. But let's all cater to mr sensitive and call me bad names for giving some gentle prodding. Makes sense.

If I learned anything it is that from now on I'll say things sooner and more directly. Thanks for being so enlightening peeps, you have opened my eyes. (not directed at people who seemed to have understood the situation, thank you for actually contemplating the scenario!)

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

I see the all the SJW's have called the NPC's for backup!

Oh dear... So the bully is now the victim? Poor thing getting ganged up on by SJWs?

Apparently the adults have spoken. Those of us who understand there is no glory in being smarter than a teenager... no virtue in picking on a kid... And no good reason to brag about it.

I get that you don't get that.

originally posted by: OtherSideOfTheCoin
a reply to: DigginFoTroof

Wow, you must be a liberal b/c you are dreaming up fantasy abuse stories for this kid within his own school.

That makes me a liberal.

Hmmmm ok then.

Point is you acted like a jerk didn't need to.

I am just trying to point out that you don't know whats going on in that poor dudes life, you made his day a little sh!tter today because he took a little longer than you feel is acceptable to pack his shopping.

I know that liberal thing was just a jab - no harm intended. But I can't justify calling this guy a "poor dude". You didn't even see him yet you somehow feel you have a better perception as to his personality and "lot" in life? Wow. How do you know he isn't just some selfish little brat that is coddled at home and does this every time he is at the store? I don't know that he is like that either - but assuming he is a "poor dude" possibly with OCD, is bringing things into this conversation just to try to make me look like I did wrong, which I didn't. Had I gotten in his face instead of 3-4ft back, that'd be a little different.

I should have made a disclaimer that no snowflakes melted in this "story" and everyone is still alive and breathing probably at home enjoying their purchase.

a reply to: Boadicea

Asking someone to get his # together in a polite manner is not bullying. Stop misusing that word, you don´t know what real bullying is.

"Picking on a kid". Get real, if the guy was 15-16 years old, he´ll soon be able to drive a car. For that responsibility one can expect not to break out in tears because someone said something slightly unpleasant to him.

Seriously, you all have lost touch with reality. I´m giving the OP the benefit of the doubt that indeed he wasn´t rude. If he said those words in a calm manner, there is no reason to be that touchy.

However we don´t know how his day went, maybe someone died, maybe he had a bad day. Who knows.

Fact is, if happened like descibed, this was not bullying. It showing courage in public, something you don´t see often today

a reply to: DigginFoTroof

Good for you. Does it make you feel special?

I would had said "need help?" and help him bag the stuff and get things moving already instead of being self centered and thinking only about me, but maybe that's not the right thing to do if you see someone obviously having some problems

That guy may or may not have an illness but since you don't now, don't ask or at least consider it first then it's best to assume, right?

I guess the world doesn't revolve around me so I'm out of line in thinking this

Also you one day will be old and people will get desperate and tell you to move it gezzer and to stop wasting their youth with your slowness and complain they lost 2 minutes of their life because of you. You will not like it at all

I don't know anything, just saying what i see

originally posted by: hombero
a reply to: DigginFoTroof

Good for you. Does it make you feel special?

I've (almost) been counting the minutes until you showed up. I guess your day isn't complete until you make an appearance in one of my threads. Now why don't you go start a conversation of your own.

originally posted by: narrator
It sounds to me like the kid had pretty severe OCD, or had some other type of mental handicap, if he wanted to check out at the customer service desk instead of the usual checkouts, and because he was repeatedly taking stuff out of his bag to replace it "just so".

That wasn't a Gen-I kid thinking he was more important than everyone in line. That was most likely someone with some sort of disability.

And now you're bragging about "triggering" him. Congratulations.

Think before you speak.

Can people with OCD or whatever disability you're suggesting, can they not slide over by three feet? Does the disability prevent them from doing that?

So you're saying that people with disabilities (and this is your theory- kid could just be a selfish jerk) cannot have manners?

Total BS.

To be clear, I don't think this was outright bullying. However, I think it could've been handled much differently, and I feel that people in general need to pull back on the reins a bit, relax, and think about what they're doing before they do it.

If you step back and objectively look at what went down, this is an accurate description:

-Kid was taking a long time to pack up and get out of the way of the line.
-Adult got impatient/upset because kid was interrupting adult's day by seemingly acting like his time was more important than the adult's.
-To try to fix it, adult interrupts the kid's day by telling him to hurry up, therefore telling the kid that the adult's time is more important than the kid's (meaning, the adult did the exact same thing the adult was upset at the kid for doing).

No one's time is more important than anyone else's. Yet, adult believed that kid took up too much of his time and decided to tell him as much.

The whole situation could be resolved/would never have happened by just having some patience.

People care too little about other people these days. (Not saying you in particular, DFT, just in general).

originally posted by: KansasGirl

originally posted by: narrator
It sounds to me like the kid had pretty severe OCD, or had some other type of mental handicap, if he wanted to check out at the customer service desk instead of the usual checkouts, and because he was repeatedly taking stuff out of his bag to replace it "just so".

That wasn't a Gen-I kid thinking he was more important than everyone in line. That was most likely someone with some sort of disability.

And now you're bragging about "triggering" him. Congratulations.

Think before you speak.

Can people with OCD or whatever disability you're suggesting, can they not slide over by three feet? Does the disability prevent them from doing that?

So you're saying that people with disabilities (and this is your theory- kid could just be a selfish jerk) cannot have manners?

Total BS.

Did I say any of that, in any of my posts? No. You're putting words in my mouth. Of course they can move over a few feet. And of course they can have manners. He probably does. He also could very well have more difficulty getting through life on a daily basis than you or I. That doesn't give someone the right to come down on someone just because they're taking a little too long.

Ask him if he needs help instead of telling him to get out of the way. Basic human decency.

Now, to reverse your question: You're saying that a fully capable adult can't restrain themselves from coming down on a kid for more than a few minutes? Total BS.

originally posted by: BoneSay
I would had said "need help?" and help him bag the stuff and get things moving already instead of being self centered and thinking only about me, but maybe that's not the right thing to do if you see someone obviously having some problems

That guy may or may not have an illness but since you don't now, don't ask or at least consider it first then it's best to assume, right?

I guess the world doesn't revolve around me so I'm out of line in thinking this

Also you one day will be old and people will get desperate and tell you to move it gezzer and to stop wasting their youth with your slowness and complain they lost 2 minutes of their life because of you. You will not like it at all

I don't know anything, just saying what i see

This kid wasn't disabled. He managed quite well to do what he was doing, though very slowly. The more I think about it it reminds me of someone really stoned and being totally oblivious to what is happening around them. That could actually explain a lot more of what happened than what others have put forth. If he was (and especially if new to it) his perception of time could have been way off and it might explain the odd behavior.

I don't remember the last time I ever said anything to someone in public like this, and there's been plenty of times (it was deserved), though none as bad as this, but when 5 other adults in line (and cashier) agree, I think I feel safe in my assessment of the situation. To have everyone on here who didn't see it come up with wild, imaginary "what if's" and tell me I'm bullying is the level of obsurdity that only a select group that I know of, are capable. Heck you might as well say I sexually assaulted him at the same time I was "bullying" him, that seems to work for a lot of you. Maybe throw in the race card, I threw in that "cracka" comment under my breath as he left. There, I fixed it for all of you. Now you can put me in the public spotlight and yell "shame, shame, shame, shame". But i'm sure that wouldn't even be enough for some of you.

4 minutes is too much.

I don´t like it myself if the cashier throws the money on the counter and shoves the items from the next customer over the scanner as soon as the change drops on the counter. I say something, then, too.

But four minutes is too much. It isn´t too much however to ask for some prudent behavior towards the ones surrounding you. I´d go out on a limb and classify the behavior as rude.

That people here expect this kid had some kind of mental problem is the joke of the century, seriously.

OP: who knew we had so many absolute saints here at ATS, huh?

I am flabbergasted by the replies in this thread. People who act like this in public have no manners and are self-centered to the extreme. It's a big chunk of why society is sliding into hell.

You people who are crying for this kid that maybe he was having a bad day, or he had OCD or some disability: how does ANY of that prevent him from having some damn BASIC common manners?

If we all acted like that every time we had a rough morning, society would come to a standstill. You know what part of life is? Dealing with your own sh!t and still being able to interact with others in a civilized way. You don't make a line full of people behind you wait an extra four minutes for NO reason but that you felt bad that day.

Disability: again, how and why does that preclude him from having basic manners?? If his disability prevents him from being able to function in public with basic manners and awareness of others, I dare say he shouldn't be out in public.

OP wasn't a jerk and didn't do anything wrong. You saints (HA!) can take your self-righteous little hearts and do some volunteer work if you're so offended. Offer to accompany that OCD kid around when he has to go out in public so that you can help ameliorate those situations when they pop up. Put your money where your self-righteous mouths are.

originally posted by: DigginFoTroof

originally posted by: BoneSay
I would had said "need help?" and help him bag the stuff and get things moving already instead of being self centered and thinking only about me, but maybe that's not the right thing to do if you see someone obviously having some problems

That guy may or may not have an illness but since you don't now, don't ask or at least consider it first then it's best to assume, right?

I guess the world doesn't revolve around me so I'm out of line in thinking this

Also you one day will be old and people will get desperate and tell you to move it gezzer and to stop wasting their youth with your slowness and complain they lost 2 minutes of their life because of you. You will not like it at all

I don't know anything, just saying what i see

This kid wasn't disabled. He managed quite well to do what he was doing, though very slowly. The more I think about it it reminds me of someone really stoned and being totally oblivious to what is happening around them. That could actually explain a lot more of what happened than what others have put forth. If he was (and especially if new to it) his perception of time could have been way off and it might explain the odd behavior.

I don't remember the last time I ever said anything to someone in public like this, and there's been plenty of times (it was deserved), though none as bad as this, but when 5 other adults in line (and cashier) agree, I think I feel safe in my assessment of the situation. To have everyone on here who didn't see it come up with wild, imaginary "what if's" and tell me I'm bullying is the level of obsurdity that only a select group that I know of, are capable. Heck you might as well say I sexually assaulted him at the same time I was "bullying" him, that seems to work for a lot of you. Maybe throw in the race card, I threw in that "cracka" comment under my breath as he left. There, I fixed it for all of you. Now you can put me in the public spotlight and yell "shame, shame, shame, shame". But i'm sure that wouldn't even be enough for some of you.

well I don't get it at all, why not help him out of the way

he got triggered but so did you, i always hear about adults talking about us like this and they don't realize they are doing the same, from their point of view and who knows how many times adults lost patience with you when you were that age and you did not even realize

i would just helped him move things out of the way and be done with it, but you took more time to lose patience than if you had just helped him out a bit

i had done ir for older people, and older people have helped me lots of times when i was unable to carry all on my own and it's just not a problem at all

i dont get it but oh well like you said i wasn't there so anyways

he triggered something in you too and so oh well

Who knows what his problem was, but that's why it's important to never assume anything

I just think there was a bettter way to handle it but what do i know

anyways thanks for the reply, bye