How can i fix this?

originally posted by: Damla
a reply to: Allaroundyou

well we know there is no such thing..%100 trust can be only with your brother may be and still there are chances he may go snoring and ruin your sleep.

My mom's brother crawled into my mom's bed drunk while she slept and raped her. He apologized severely. Then a short time later, he did it again.

originally posted by: 3n19m470

originally posted by: Damla
a reply to: Allaroundyou

well we know there is no such thing..%100 trust can be only with your brother may be and still there are chances he may go snoring and ruin your sleep.

My mom's brother crawled into my mom's bed drunk while she slept and raped her. He apologized severely. Then a short time later, he did it again.

Man that’s fugged, sorry to hear that.

Thank you all for your support, i think things will be fine, this happened today:

He apologized and was very forward about it, he said he had felt like this since years ago but since i was only here for 1 month every year he never really had a chance to say anything and as we had different lifes back then he wasn't just able to do anything about it

Now that i live here on same city, we see each other every day so he thought things could change, but he let himself go and could not control himself, he was very sorry and i was too so we just talked and tried to let it go, so we are going to start over with that and let things happen or not. I requested this, to let us forget this happened, keep being friends and just move forward and to not try to force things because i can't handle much all of this stuff, so i just want to let things happen on their on, if things not go in that direction then so be it, if things start to happen then cool. Is this ok way to move forward?

Also he said that "i really made an impact on his life.. and his face" lmao

I always thought i was way more advanced on this issue with touching and stuff, but seems like i'm not. have to fix this problem, i don't think i will ever get to be intimate with someone or have kids otherwise lol

Can handle dating and stuff but only until things are moving forward into the next steps i always end up breaking things up because i chicken out when "those moments" are about to happen :|

a reply to: 3n19m470

That's very sad, i hope she got justice and he is not around her anymore

originally posted by: Allaroundyou
a reply to: ClovenSky

This may sound messed up. But here it is. Screw the rules of engagement. Just be straight up and tell them what your intentions are. No games no nothin. Then you get either one of two answers. Don’t get butt hurt if the answer is not a yes. Just move on.

Yes i like that, i always like when people just tell you the stuff they need to say without any games, it may not be as romantic but i have always been like this, no time to waste for me on dumb stuff. I don't like living in a movie, apparently there are guys who dislike it a lot but also there are guys who like it a lot too, don't care any case but i love confident people who are not afraid of biting the bullet

a reply to: BoneSay

Good to hear he has a sense of humor and is taking it good. Sounds like a good way to proceed to me, I wish you the best in working through your insecurities.

originally posted by: Boadicea

originally posted by: BoneSay
I did a terrible thing

No, you didn't. You did nothing wrong. Your friend was wrong for violating your person while you were vulnerable.

...I reacted terrible hostile and hit him in the face with my knee and broke his nose.

No. You acted instinctively in self defense. He acted as a predator -- a sexual predator -- and you were his prey.

I think he just let himself go...

Don't make excuses for him. And don't blame yourself for protecting yourself.

I lost a friend and maybe more.

A true friend would apologize to YOU for. taking advantage of you in a vulnerable position and betraying your trust and friendship.

How can i fix this? Please could you tell me if you know some words i could say that help in not losing this great friend?

You cannot fix this. You did nothing wrong. Only he can fix this by understanding and apologizing for HIS wrongdoing.

The best you can do is give him an opportunity to make amends to you. Tell him that you are sorry he was hurt, and that you were only acting instinctively to protect yourself, but that HE wrongly put you in that position. If he accepts responsibility and apologizes and promises he's learned his lesson, perhaps you can re-build a friendship on that foundation.

But if he blames you in any way, shape or form, then he is NOT your friend and you should walk away and just say good riddance to bad rubbish.

I had a very bad event at 13...

I'm so very sad to hear that. It's no wonder you reacted as you did. Don't blame yourself.

Good luck and brightest blessings ❤

Thank you, i did this. Talked and explained why i did it and he apologized, i know he is hurt because of my rejection but he otherwise never tried to do anything before, and we spent summer camps together for several years and i had stayed to sleep at his house lots of times in the past, ever since we were 7 and so, i always thought of him like a brother so i never noticed things were like this. Now that i live alone his family takes care of me a lot, like i feel they are my family too so i don't want to ruin it, i just talked to him and we are going to start from scratch and not think about this anymore, and let things happen in whatever way they have to happen

I just think he may have been giving me clues all along but i could not see them at all, but now that i think about it well yes he was doing that, i'm just not able to see them until too late

a reply to: 3n19m470

I said may be, that's why. I dont drink.

a reply to: BoneSay
Oh Say, I just read this, don't stress about the broken nose, every man needs one once in his life.
You reacted and that is fair enough, if he's a reasonable guy he'll understand, if not then # him off.
I've never had a knee in my face for kissing a girls belly because I only do stuff like that if I know it is wanted by the girl. He #ed up, you just reacted, he has learned a lesson about boundaries and making sure about what a girl wants or doesn't.

Don't be too worried, explain your side, and if he doesn't accept it then meh, get over it. My nose has been broken many times, if he's gonna cry about that then he deserves a bitch slap next time lol

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
a reply to: BoneSay
Oh Say, I just read this, don't stress about the broken nose, every man needs one once in his life.
You reacted and that is fair enough, if he's a reasonable guy he'll understand, if not then # him off.
I've never had a knee in my face for kissing a girls belly because I only do stuff like that if I know it is wanted by the girl. He #ed up, you just reacted, he has learned a lesson about boundaries and making sure about what a girl wants or doesn't.

Don't be too worried, explain your side, and if he doesn't accept it then meh, get over it. My nose has been broken many times, if he's gonna cry about that then he deserves a bitch slap next time lol

No worry, we talked things over and have a way to move forward.

I usually end up beating people around but first time it happens for this reason lol

I still think i should have been able to simply say "hey stop this, i don't want to and step away alright?" but instead i almost ripped his head off and that's what makes me angry about myself, so much violence for whatever reasons, i can't control it yet and that's sad and stressing, like my mom used to say "you giant evil monster!" lmao

a reply to: BoneSay
Girls need violence to protect themselves from prick guys, I have a twin sister, she is more violent than I am, and I respect that big time.
Glad you have it sorted with matey now, he learned a good lesson lol.

a reply to: BoneSay

Good for you!!! That couldn't have been easy, and it must have taken much strength and courage on your part to address him and the situation directly. I'm proud of you. I hope you're proud of yourself too.

I'm very happy you could find a way to move forward. Good job

a reply to: BoneSay

Don't worry so much.
Romantic feelings and relationships are hard to navigate.
I was always terrible at it.

I'm 40 and have had only 3 romantic partners

originally posted by: TinySickTears
I'm 40 and have had only 3 romantic partners

Wow that's cool, I'm mid 40's and been in love 5 times, deeply in love...lost count of intimate encounters years ago though, never counted to be honest, I have female friends who I love these days, just not 'in' love.

a reply to: BoneSay

You reacted sanely and sensibly. The error was his not yours. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Maybe a bloody nose will be enough 'trauma' for him to remember his manners in the future.