How can i fix this?

originally posted by: TinySickTears
perfect way to say youre sorry is let him kiss that belly button

I can see the logic in that, only problem would be if the dude is truly a creep. Then one may have some very real issues to deal with.

originally posted by: Damla
a reply to: IAMTAT

oh, pls. she has the nerves of steel and can watch anybody writhe in agony without an eye blink.

ok..ok..i ll give it a possibility. sorry sorry guys.

ok do this..look here the guy with the best avatar is tinysicktears. listen to him. ok? that'd what i'd do personally. and he is a very gentle person i am sure he understood.

good luck. i hope you get over it.

i love my avatar
operation mindcrime is the man


really though OP
you do seem like you feel bad about crushing his soul....

do you like him?

if you do and do not mind if he gets close just be honest...

just tell him you are sorry for breaking his face. you are interested as well. you would not mind getting close. its just that the belly button kiss as you were falling out took you by surprise and you reacted.

he has to know you dont pick up on cues and such. if not just tell him.

youve have known him 10 years so he has to know what you are about.
im sure he will understand.

just be honest.

originally posted by: Allaroundyou

originally posted by: TinySickTears
perfect way to say youre sorry is let him kiss that belly button

I can see the logic in that, only problem would be if the dude is truly a creep. Then one may have some very real issues to deal with.

i was joking of course.

she said he has known him 10 years and has always been a good person.
she has trouble picking up on cues. maybe he does too.

i get it cause i am terrible at it. always was

to me a belly button kiss for the first move seems creepy but maybe to him he didnt think it that way.

if she asks herself if she likes him and would not mind him getting close i am sure he will understand if she tells him she just reacted cause she did not expect it.

a reply to: BigDave-AR

in a way..if he knows, she doesnt have to apologize. but sometimes..you tell people all the things and they act like they dont know.

ok, lets share the stupidity because i cant paint with all the colors of the wind and i dont even understand what exactly is meant. it is so above me, many things are. but i am damn sure you have nerves of steel.

a reply to: BoneSay

You are both young, just kids really, don't beat yourself up over it. You will mature and recover, and so will he.

Tell the guy the truth : you freaked out because something bad happened to you when you were younger. That you just acted on reflex...I tend to do the same thing sometimes.

He will understand if he's a real friend, and I sort of feel he probably really is.

I wish you luck, and have faith in you.

originally posted by: Damla
ok, lets share the stupidity because i cant paint with all the colors of the wind and i dont even understand what exactly is meant. it is so above me, many things are. but i am damn sure you have nerves of steel.

It doesn’t mean crap! That whole song is stupid, never understood why people like it. Hell “The Doors” make more sense.

a reply to: Allaroundyou

oh come on. such beautiful thing cant be stupid. I rather be stupid myself when faced with such things. it means something. it just that i dont understand yet. and I am so selfish to use this little girl's problem to come to this. I am such a perverted idiot.

originally posted by: Damla
a reply to: Allaroundyou

oh come on. such beautiful thing cant be stupid. I rather be stupid myself when faced with such things. it means something. it just that i dont understand yet. and I am so selfish to use this little girl's problem to come to this. I am such a perverted idiot.

MEH I wouldn’t feel too bad.

a reply to: Allaroundyou

yeaah..i guess. especially while that image of her grinning behind a tree is still lingering.

This is a really interesting thread. I for one thank you for creating it BoneSay.

This really gets to the heart of the matter. Physical attraction between two people. The rules of engagement and discreteness. The rules of reading body language if you don't have the ability to perceive the others intentions.

The longing for someone at the mental level, but not at the physical level. Where they may be the most compassionate, carrying individual but you get no physical reaction that makes you want to take it past words. The wants of the mind compared to the wants of the body.

Then you have a society where the male is expected to pursue. Where the words say no but the eyes say yes. Where the female enjoys the chase and if the male is too respectful, the female will lose all desire.

Then you add in the SJW mindset. Need full consent, in written form, in triplet with dna authorization and a voice recording. Also an attorney present to make sure state of mind is fully in possession. When you have that then maybe a green light can be given.

But I have a suspicion this guy did in this circumstance what I have done many times before, initiated the first move. By his reactions, his intentions can be determined. Yes, he wanted physical contact and he was seeing what would happen. Is this wrong? Would anyone care to share their rules of engagement with us?

I would also bet that this guy is a wonderful, caring individual. Maybe a little self conscious or unsure to make an awkward first move like that. But so what? Did he force himself after she made her feelings clear? I would also say this guy is not extremely hansom or this story wouldn't have materialized, even with the first awkward move of trying to kiss someones belly button.

a reply to: ClovenSky

This may sound messed up. But here it is. Screw the rules of engagement. Just be straight up and tell them what your intentions are. No games no nothin. Then you get either one of two answers. Don’t get butt hurt if the answer is not a yes. Just move on.

a reply to: Allaroundyou

Now imagine that in practice. I assume you are male and for us, that would be a wonderful treat. So much easier and straight to the point.

Now for the females out there, how would that work out? Someone just comes up to you and says "hey, I am attracted to you, lets go out for a date?" 2 answers to that question ... coming from a person that doesn't scream gorgeous in your eyes and coming from the perfectly chiseled, successful gentleman.

Would you only like that approach from one of the two or would both types using that approach be perfectly acceptable?

You know what would be really funny, is if at the end of all this #mee2 and SJW ideology, the only answer was to reverse the roles. That females are the initiators and will always need to make the first move. Would that be better?

a reply to: ClovenSky

Well I got blessed with good looks so for me it generally works out. And oddly when they say no and I move on not butt hurt they often then come back and engage with me. I’m going to guess it has something to do with confidence.
It would be interesting to live in a world where the females are the ones expected to make the first move.

a reply to: Allaroundyou

I have seen and possibly used some form of this in the past as well.

Approach a female and ask: 'Would you like to dance?'

Female: 'No'

Approach: 'What'? ... 'No, you misunderstood me, I was saying you look fat in those pants'. 'What did you think I said'?

and just simply walk away. Most times, the end results are good, until you discover the type of female that enjoys those mind games.

I agree, it is a form of self confidence. Females love self confidence. Now is self confidence from possessing good looks in the first place? So in the end, it still comes back to looks. I have seen a few less than physically appealing guys with outstanding confidence and they weren't really getting the matchups, but from trial and error they knew the game and which females to approach.

originally posted by: BoneSay

originally posted by: IAMTAT
If he's a TRUE friend...just be honest with him...and he'll understand.

If he doesn't...he's more concerned with his own feelings, rather than yours.

But why i am like this? I always hurt them somehow, i wanted to be loved, i just don't know or understand how to act on it after they try to get close, i am stupid on this aspect, i hurt him very bad you see, i am very violent sometimes, i can't help it, i wish i wasn't like this and be like other girls

I don't know what to do or say, i don't think he meant bad, he just thought i had given enough trust that he could get close like that, and then i acted like a hurt animal :/

Focusing on you and not him specifically, I believe this is what you're going for....

I'd say, I'm sorry, but this is difficult. You reacted as many do in similar situations. I knew this girl once. She was in the same boat as you. She had a terrible life changing event when she was younger and it stuck with her all of her life. Even though we were dating at the time and she was actually living with me... sleeping in the same bed together every night... It was close to walking on eggshells... Even with me. The guy she was living with, in a relationship with, having... fun with..

It came with the territory. She explained it to me in the beginning and I understood it. If I wanted to cuddle... I had to wait till she came to me. When she did, those cuddles were wonderful. For her, everything was similar to a hot tub of water. She had to slowly ease into it. Sex was VERY difficult but we found ways to make it more comfortable.

Bottom line is... Your reactions are not 'wrong'. You are not bad. The people who truly care about you will stick around even through all of that. The ones that know who you are, want to know who you are and remain, are the important ones.

Don't feel bad about being you. It's just you. Just like I'm me and some people may not deal well but other do. No shame in being you. People you care about, you might give them a little heads up so they'll understand better.


Good luck. My heart goes out to you.

Its tough to really get a read on the situation..

But, if you feel that this was a legitimate mistake on both your parts, and not him being a total creep, then go talk it out with him.

It could even be one of those things you both look back on with a chuckle, rather than the disaster it seems now.

Growing pains. It's hard to be young and navigate relationships.

In many adult circles, what he did might have been considered a romantic or silly gesture.

Yes, yes, you did overreact and the guilt you are experiencing is certainly normal. You hurt a good friend over a possibly misunderstood behavior. This definitely deserves at least a convo with the guy-and for sure an apology but, it would be good to get his explanation for what he did. This could turn into a deeper understanding of one another and true courtship or anger over a vile and unexpected excuse for an assault. Until you know his true reasons, you will continue in this spiral of emotions.

You are so young. These awkward exchnges are not totally unexpected; but the broken nose sure was. Yep, an overreaction; but, good for you. No one is going to take advatage of you again.

a reply to: BoneSay

If you still have feelings for him, he should consider himself lucky you don't think he's a creep now. If you still want to talk to him i would message, or more preferably call him and tell him why you reacted like that to what he did to you, and tell him you would still like to be friends and maybe go somewhere for coffee or something and just talk. If anything this could be a good sort of "how I met your mother-type" of story someday. "Well you see kids, she broke my nose, then we got together"