How can i fix this?

Sounds like he got off easy. That’s not how you express yourself to those you care about. That’s unhealthy obsession bubbling to the surface.

If you actually do like this guy and he does like you perhaps take things slow and awake preferably.

a reply to: BoneSay

I am also curious. What was the day like? What led to the situation where you two were sleeping next to each other? Were there other people with you? Was this a trip? Was this in the middle of the night after you had been asleep for a while or where you two laying next to each other talking first?

Were you two flirting at all throughout the day?

a reply to: Allaroundyou

that makes two of us..i can sleep in a room full of snoring too

I know you dont like to listen to me and it isnt your favourite thing to do while you like to speak that much.

but i dont usually break noses..when i do, i do it for a very good reason.

not that i believe your story of rape and etc. you didnt earn my trust yet

originally posted by: Damla
a reply to: Allaroundyou

that makes two of us..i can sleep in a room full of snoring too

I have a little trick for those that snore too loud.
I lay until I am just about to fall asleep. At that moment I toss a pebble at the person then lay down as if nothing happened. Then bam you got a little window of opportunity to fall asleep in silence.
I use this tactic when I am out backpacking with my friends.
Just make sure ya don’t hit them in the face, and also use a PEBBLE.

a reply to: BoneSay

Makes sense. You may have led him on and he was making a move, although it was a rather bold move.
Honestly tho, if he knew you since you were 7 years old, he should know you by now and respect who you are and what you are like.
Still, don't feel bad for what you did, if you want to reconcile and chat what happened out, just be open with him.

a reply to: Allaroundyou

actually it is a real thing, michael, i can sleep with loud snoring noise..it is like listening to the heart beat of someone. a very beautiful thing. it turns into a soft lullaby after a while.

So where is the dating manual that explains all of the rules and regulations of the first move? I can remember very distinctly the transition through adolescence with my female friends and hormones didn't make the situations any easier.

There is a lot of fun to be had with flirting but I think the views between males and females on the end goal are vastly different, if we are being honest with ourselves here.

It is simple rules of biology. If he were dishonest or unpure in his pursuits, would he have jumped away from the experience with a hurt and confused look in his eyes? Or would he have shown anger and rage, which I didn't sense in the OP AT ALL.

originally posted by: ClovenSky
I am also curious. What was the day like? What led to the situation where you two were sleeping next to each other? Were there other people with you? Was this a trip? Was this in the middle of the night after you had been asleep for a while or where you two laying next to each other talking first?

Were you two flirting at all throughout the day?

There were 7 of us, and the guide we hired. We made a trip to the mountain to hunt and just be out there, all of us except a couple persons are on the same college course, we just wanted to go hunting for a bit and we gathered some money and rented a cabin on the woods, it wasn't very big and we were all very much sleeping on the same room, with back packs and stuff, on the floor. This is not the first time we do this

I wasn't fully asleep yet, just barely, we were talking about dumb stuff you know, nothing good in particular, i just suddenly started to doze off and then the idiotic thing happened.

I don't think i was flirting, but he may already had an idea about it, i don't know, i'm terrible at these things so i don't know if i did it and did not know, that's what kill me more than all else

originally posted by: Damla
a reply to: Allaroundyou

actually it is a real thing, michael, i can sleep with loud snoring noise..it is like listening to the heart beat of someone. a very beautiful thing. it turns into a soft lullaby after a while.

And there it is. Using my actual name to make a point. Well, Damla, enjoy that snoring and don’t break a nose. But if you need to I think I know just the person to teach ya.

originally posted by: ClovenSky
So where is the dating manual that explains all of the rules and regulations of the first move? I can remember very distinctly the transition through adolescence with my female friends and hormones didn't make the situations any easier.

There is a lot of fun to be had with flirting but I think the views between males and females on the end goal are vastly different, if we are being honest with ourselves here.

It is simple rules of biology. If he were dishonest or unpure in his pursuits, would he have jumped away from the experience with a hurt and confused look in his eyes? Or would he have shown anger and rage, which I didn't sense in the OP AT ALL.

I think i was stupid, he was good guy always, i feel like i did not get what he felt so far and acted like an idiot, i have always been a tomboy and turn very violent and don't get it quick enough. He did not get angry at all, he look dissapointed in his eyes and it hurt a lot to see that face, like he was going to cry and hurt, then he just walked out and did not return, and then we went looking for him and found him and drove to a clinic to get him fixed, i don't know anymore, i am very stupid with these things

If i could scream what i feel i would get banned for sure, **** i will go out now, i know i had to deal with my own issues i just don't get why i can't get over them and always fail at this stuff, f*ck!

a reply to: BoneSay


The OPPOSITE of love is not hate, but indifference.

Clearly you are not indifferent or hateful, as it bothers YOU so much.


So, here and now, why not be completely honest with yourself and this bunch of total strangers whom don't know you...

Do you have deep feelings for this person...beyond friendship?

a reply to: Allaroundyou

still she claims it is a reflex though. what a shame

originally posted by: BoneSay
I did a terrible thing

No, you didn't. You did nothing wrong. Your friend was wrong for violating your person while you were vulnerable.

...I reacted terrible hostile and hit him in the face with my knee and broke his nose.

No. You acted instinctively in self defense. He acted as a predator -- a sexual predator -- and you were his prey.

I think he just let himself go...

Don't make excuses for him. And don't blame yourself for protecting yourself.

I lost a friend and maybe more.

A true friend would apologize to YOU for. taking advantage of you in a vulnerable position and betraying your trust and friendship.

How can i fix this? Please could you tell me if you know some words i could say that help in not losing this great friend?

You cannot fix this. You did nothing wrong. Only he can fix this by understanding and apologizing for HIS wrongdoing.

The best you can do is give him an opportunity to make amends to you. Tell him that you are sorry he was hurt, and that you were only acting instinctively to protect yourself, but that HE wrongly put you in that position. If he accepts responsibility and apologizes and promises he's learned his lesson, perhaps you can re-build a friendship on that foundation.

But if he blames you in any way, shape or form, then he is NOT your friend and you should walk away and just say good riddance to bad rubbish.

I had a very bad event at 13...

I'm so very sad to hear that. It's no wonder you reacted as you did. Don't blame yourself.

Good luck and brightest blessings ❤

a reply to: BoneSay

You are being WAY to hard on yourself. Step back and take some deep breaths. This isn’t the end of the world.

One last bit of advice...take it or leave it...but it's sincere.

If you have a history defensive/anger issues with people you care about...some professional therapy may do wonders to help you deal with this much better.

a reply to: IAMTAT

oh, pls. she has the nerves of steel and can watch anybody writhe in agony without an eye blink.

ok..ok..i ll give it a possibility. sorry sorry guys.

ok do this..look here the guy with the best avatar is tinysicktears. listen to him. ok? that'd what i'd do personally. and he is a very gentle person i am sure he understood.

good luck. i hope you get over it.

You got a kiss on the belly, he got a deformed nose. Live with it.

“You can’t be friends with a member of the opposite sex with out wanting to sleep with them.”
When Harry meet Sally.

perfect way to say youre sorry is let him kiss that belly button

originally posted by: IAMTAT
One last bit of advice...take it or leave it...but it's sincere.

If you have a history defensive/anger issues with people you care about...some professional therapy may do wonders to help you deal with this much better.

OP stated she’s had therapy for it and still has problems.
Don’t beat yourself up OP just explain the situation and if they don’t want to let it go they aren’t worth keeping as a friend IMO. Out of curiosity did he know of your prior abuse?