Can you really move on when you loved more than they did?

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

I went through hell when I realized I had loved someone for 28 years that was cheating on and lying to me for many years.
I had a phase I wondered if I could ever trust anyone again.

I am past that. The secret, I found, is to not wonder such things. Don't be concerned about finding someone. Focus on yourself - why did you feel attracted to someone who treated you that way? Work on finding your happiness all alone. Look for the parts of your own personality you'd like to tweak to love yourself better, to value yourself more, fill your own cup of love inside.

This became my main focus. What happened is that I started to be blissfully happy all by myself. Then, the men that were drawn to me started to change.
The first few I met were the same sort of narcissistic manipulative users exactly like my ex.
But as I changed, different kinds of men were drawn to me - really nice and authentic ones.
One in particular really convinced me that there are good people out there that are capable of trust. He lives in another country and has small children, so I don't know if we can continue the relationship, but ultimately it doesn't matter that much, the fling was enough to give me a glimpse of what it is like to be with someone who is really caring and authentic.

I realized I had been so used to being treated like crap I didn't even know a relationship could be different. Now I know, and I won't accept less.

People will only value you as much as you do.

a reply to: Bluesma

I've thought about you recently and hope you are well and feeling stronger and better.

People will only value you as much as you do.

This is so true and we allow, even if sometimes in a round a bout way, folks to treat us badly. To what end? Why? It is self abusive and serves no purpose...

She has sexual power, and she's not afraid to use it. A scorpion can promise many things, but it will still sting you in the middle of the river, drowning you both. It's just the nature of a scorpion - don't expect anything else.

The right person will never make you question yourself or what they are doing. The right person will slowly allow you to release yourself from the guarded life you've been living thus far. The right person will make you feel liberated, and will be flying right there by your side. The right person will allow you to heal in your own way, without pressuring you or judging you. The right person will help you find yourself again.