Can you really move on when you loved more than they did?

So a few years ago I met this woman. Seemed great until sje would ghost me for a few days or break up for a few days over a fight but we worked through it. Later it became cheating and she even left to go spend two months with a trucker while I watched her friend in the hospital.

After that I took her back around 6 months later after we reached a good point just 180ed and stopped talking to me amd moved three towns over. Told everyone but me was already dating new boys. Blocked me on every tho g amd just left.

It's been a year and quite honestly it still haunts me everyday, how does one ever get a sense of trust after being used and lied to so much?

Sorry for the rant but had to get it out. Take it easy ATSers

originally posted by: OneCrazyCanuck
So a few years ago I met this woman. Seemed great until sje would ghost me for a few days or break up for a few days over a fight but we worked through it. Later it became cheating and she even left to go spend two months with a trucker while I watched her friend in the hospital.

After that I took her back around 6 months later after we reached a good point just 180ed and stopped talking to me amd moved three towns over. Told everyone but me was already dating new boys. Blocked me on every tho g amd just left.

It's been a year and quite honestly it still haunts me everyday, how does one ever get a sense of trust after being used and lied to so much?

Sorry for the rant but had to get it out. Take it easy ATSers

It takes time. Eventually you get over it, just realize that others are not like her, and you shouldn’t prejudge. Also try and stay as far away as possible. Don’t text, call etc. it just recreates the cycle again. She obviously doesn’t buy care for you as much as you care for her. Find someone that cares just as much or more.

Camain

Why would you even go back after the first time ?

She was using you and you're still pining ?
Shake it off and move on. She's not worth it.

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

Look at it like this:

Why waste another second of your life haunted by someone who seemingly treated you so poorly. You’ve got to let go and move on. Find some self-confidence, make a new life for yourself, make new friends, try new things. Occupy your mind and train yourself to be better off without her.

Otherwise, you’re defined by your response to being treated like garbage. Accept accountability for your inactions, learn from your mistakes, and get out of the shallow end of the self-loathing pool.

Not trying to sound like a jerk. Just sayin...the only one who can move on is you.

Could this be one of those cases where someone feels they aren't worthy of love, so they push their partner away or maybe they have been hurt before and feel they need to be the one who hurts the other first as a protective measure - or a combination of both? Ti could be that she is afraid that you will find someone better and leave her, so she is always keeping her options open and looking for someone else, like hedging her relationships. It could be a combination of them.

I guess it depends on the girl and how you feel about her. No one can tell you what is going on with her, only she can and that will only happen if you ask her. IDK if you have been completely honest with her and asked her point blanks the questions, but you can't give her any wiggle room to give you answers to keep the cycle going by being dishonest.

Good luck, that can't be a happy situation.

originally posted by: OneCrazyCanuck
Ihow does one ever get a sense of trust after being used and lied to so much?

You don't. Your trust in other people is just one of those things that slowly gets eroded away over the years as you start to realize most people only really care about themselves and most of the people you meet want something from you, time, affection, companionship, money, sex, etc. and will only stay around as long as they're getting what they want from you.

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

You didn't get any sort of deserved closure, and that alone makes getting over it harder for most people.

You will get over it if you want to, and you've learned some good hard lessons.

Stay positive, focus on all that is good, and remember there are much better days ahead.

Best of luck your way.

is that? or what gets you stuck is to think if they can go on?

i used to have an ex. he was depressed and not happy with his life. not me but he almost always admitted that he doesnt love me like i love him. he cant get a washing machine work, he cant cook, he was the most incapable person i had met in terms of taking care of his own physical and mental needs.

so when you break up with a person like that you need to imagine a world where all people have a guardian angels and somehow they will be ok.

Let me tell you something about dogs. If you are nice to a dog and treat him right, he will be loyal to you. If you are mean to a dog he will also be loyal to you. But if you are inconsistent with a dog, sometimes extremely nice and sometimes mean, he will be the most loyal dog of all.

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

Maybe this is a case of her not being into you at all, but you just wouldn't let it go?

Who sticks around through that? Work on yourself.

a reply to: schuyler

Just to have the most loyal dog, you think it is fine to act like a monkey?

a reply to: schuyler

Pavlov does not agree with your statement sir...

Jaden

There is no mental or emotional "over it" sometimes. You just learn how to "hide the pain Harold" it.

A girl I was sort of dating in high school nearly a decade ago... Well, I still dream about her. It hurts to think about still. She got married to another guy in 2016. (US Divorce Rates Plummeting) Yeah... Stocks double when I sell them too... (Sold AMD at $12.50 XD)


I'm a lucky guy, of the un variety.

I still think about her everyday. I can try not to, I'm going to. :/ I'm just glad she's happy. I'm strong enough now, the pain is beating an old drum.

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

This is a bit brutal but she didn't lie to you, you lied to yourself. You need to be honest with yourself about who people are, and not lie to believe they are who you wish they were.

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

Wait till you have a half dozen of these crazyy biatches floating around in your head. I love everyone of them. My dad always told me.

Son, they are all crazy. Find a pretty one and learn to put up with it.

originally posted by: Damla
i used to have an ex. he was depressed and not happy with his life. not me but he almost always admitted that he doesnt love me like i love him. he cant get a washing machine work, he cant cook, he was the most incapable person i had met in terms of taking care of his own physical and mental needs.

so when you break up with a person like that you need to imagine a world where all people have a guardian angels and somehow they will be ok.

Yes. This is a common story. Not everyone is worth waiting on to grow up and take charge of their life.

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

Absolutely. (In answer to your thread title)

Those sorts of people don't change. She is not going to have an epiphany. She is not going to realize, through being with these other guys, that you truly loved her and they don't, and therefore come back to you.

These type of people have a need to feel wanted, and they fill this need by getting into relationships with others, treating them like crap, and then seeing if they can get them back. Because they must really be desirable if someone will take them back after she treated him so badly, right? That's what is going on.

You CAN get completely, totally, 100% over it. You just have to make up your mind that you do NOT want that type of relationship again. Once you are clear on that inside yourself, you WILL begin to move on.


How do I know this? Been there, done that.

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck


Whatever her issues are; you deserved to be loved. She’s toxic dude!

a reply to: OneCrazyCanuck

Can you move on? What choice do you have?