The Banter Cafe, open 24hrs

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

Hey Cornish

How is your Albanian Chef? Could he do with an assistant?

Mitchell & Webb Cheesoid

a reply to: oldcarpy
If he'll work below minimum wage off the books I may be interested. If he's expecting paid breaks, a contract, sick/holiday pay then not so much...a poor cafe owner has to survive you know!

...that was a funny clip, never really watched them before, may check them out more on YT.


Song for the day on the jukebox...

a reply to: nonspecific

Hey, I'm still here.....tend to drift in and out nowadays.....far too many good members gone.
But there's still quite a few characters here, as can be seen by this thread!

a reply to: CornishCeltGuy

Quality tune, but of course you knew I'd say that.

And let's hope it is because yesterday is now officially known as National #e Day

a reply to: Freeborn

Yeah I spotted a few familiar faces and I imagine a few others are under different names.

Been away a while now and gone all normal. No more drink or drugs aside from the magic little pills the doctor gives me to make me "normal" I am a parish councilor,family man and respected local business owner now.

Gone are the days of thinking reptillians are manipulating the flat earth by putting flouride in the chemtrails for me.

a reply to: nonspecific

Nothing wrong with that if that's what you want.
I'm pleased you're happy and content.

Normality is not for me.....it really would send me round the proverbial bend.
Slowed down a bit, but still have my moments.....both wouldn't and couldn't have it any other way.

Still enjoy reading some of the stranger threads here on ATS but there seems to be an abundance of both Trump and American specific threads.
Definitely become a bit more cynical, not necessarily a good thing.

Take care and hopefully see you around a bit more.

As its Friday here is a quick joke:

A rabbit goes into a pub, hops onto a bar stool, puts his paws on the bar and asks the landlord:
"Got any carrots?"
Landlord: "No, my young friend. This is a pub - we sell a range of quality ales, lagers, ciders, wines and spirits plus some light snacks like crisps and nuts. We don't sell veg".
The rabbit leaves but is back the next day.
Rabbit: "Got any carrots"?
Landlord: "No we haven't. I told you yesterday. This is a pub not a greengrocers."
The rabbit leaves but is back the next day.
Rabbit: "Got any carrots"?
Landlord: "Look, just bugger off - you're doing my head in".
The rabbit leaves but is back the next day.
Rabbit: "Got any carrots"?
Landlord: "Right that's it. If you come into my pub and ask for carrots one more time I'm going to nail your 'effing paws to the bar".
The rabbit leaves but is back the next day.
Rabbit: "Got any nails"?
Landlord: "NO! This is a pub not a bloody ironmongers!"
Rabbit: "Got a hammer"?
Landlord: "NO"!
Rabbit: "Got any carrots"?

originally posted by: oldcarpy
a reply to: Lagomorphe


That is indeed a crap summer song. Cliff Richard? You sadistic bastard.

Well it was that or this... take your pick mate :



Ahhhh the late 70s....

originally posted by: Night Star
a reply to: Lagomorphe

Why can't we just live on things like cake and ice cream?

Because we would end up all fat and Ugly like that CornishCeltic bloke!

originally posted by: oldcarpy
As its Friday here is a quick joke:

A rabbit goes into a pub, hops onto a bar stool, puts his paws on the bar and asks the landlord:
"Got any carrots?"
Landlord: "No, my young friend. This is a pub - we sell a range of quality ales, lagers, ciders, wines and spirits plus some light snacks like crisps and nuts. We don't sell veg".
The rabbit leaves but is back the next day.
Rabbit: "Got any carrots"?
Landlord: "No we haven't. I told you yesterday. This is a pub not a greengrocers."
The rabbit leaves but is back the next day.
Rabbit: "Got any carrots"?
Landlord: "Look, just bugger off - you're doing my head in".
The rabbit leaves but is back the next day.
Rabbit: "Got any carrots"?
Landlord: "Right that's it. If you come into my pub and ask for carrots one more time I'm going to nail your 'effing paws to the bar".
The rabbit leaves but is back the next day.
Rabbit: "Got any nails"?
Landlord: "NO! This is a pub not a bloody ironmongers!"
Rabbit: "Got a hammer"?
Landlord: "NO"!
Rabbit: "Got any carrots"?

Hey Carpy...

Got any carrots?

a reply to: Lagomorphe


You again! Right - now I DO have some nails - big ones - and a hammer. Come here!.....

originally posted by: oldcarpy
a reply to: Lagomorphe


You again! Right - now I DO have some nails - big ones - and a hammer. Come here!.....

Threatening me are you...?

Right... take that :



Buwhahahahaha....

a reply to: Lagomorphe


You are one sick bunny!

originally posted by: oldcarpy
a reply to: Lagomorphe


You are one sick bunny!

I know...

And just to finish you off in much pain and misery :



And don't get me started with the Carpenters...

Ohhh bugger it... :



with a messy stomp to the eardrums :



and a punch to the nuts :



Now I want to trash up the juke box.... "grins"

"saunters off nonchalently whistling an innocent tune"

a reply to: Lagomorphe


Actually, I love the Carpenters but don't tell everyone. Terry Jacks? - not so much.

Was going to post the Carpenters Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft video but right back at you with the original by Klaatu:

Klaatu - Calling Occupants

This being ATS and all.

PMSL Banter Friday or what!!!
One for you lag's, enjoy!

originally posted by: oldcarpy
a reply to: Lagomorphe


Actually, I love the Carpenters but don't tell everyone. Terry Jacks? - not so much.

Was going to post the Carpenters Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft video but right back at you with the original by Klaatu:

Klaatu - Calling Occupants

This being ATS and all.

oooOOERRR...

I actually liked that song too.

Remember this :

originally posted by: CornishCeltGuy
PMSL Banter Friday or what!!!

One for you lag's, enjoy!

Erm... I had the same haircut but keep it for yourself.

Right, just to trash up the place a bit more with a bit of early 80s stuff :







Enjoy... it's Friday after all!

a reply to: Lagomorphe


Yes I do remember that, unfortunately. Remember this?

The Firm - Star Trekking


You rascal, you.

a reply to: Lagomorphe
I see your cheesy tune and raise you with this...

originally posted by: oldcarpy
a reply to: Lagomorphe


Yes I do remember that, unfortunately. Remember this?

The Firm - Star Trekking


You rascal, you.

ooOOOeRRRR... I try not to remember that one Carpy...