There Will Be Blood- ATS Rap Battle

This thread has me achin'
Akin to a term of appropriation
But I won't lie it moves me,
Subject to a case of dance move cruelty.
Carlton would know
If he were the fresh prince in Glasgow

The folks here make this look easy
Slippin in them puns, greasy
Well that will about do it for this attempt.
I imagine yall will find me in contempt.

*Drops Mic*







**Then picks it up......that chit is expensive.***

a reply to: JinMI

Lmao.

The dance moves you describe...

a reply to: zosimov


Okay, well, first off...
I consider you and masky family, your guaranteed amnesty,
But the rest of these jerk offs,
Are about to become casualties on a list of soon to be amputees,
The moustache twisting, plot pivoting, dick dastardly,
Eating from Auggies appletree, bending gravity with my alchemy,
causing anxiety like secret societies, Hiding crimes like Archdiocese,
But these idiots don't care, and they won't quit,
Go on keep on poking this bear with that stick,
I Kick flip the script like a skateboard trick,
Go on a tear and rip up the whole clique,
One glare and I trip up their whole shtick.
Don't think I won't slap the crap,
outta wanna be Bill Hicks...




Respectfully,
~ meathead

originally posted by: zosimov
a reply to: JinMI

Lmao.

The dance moves you describe...

What do you get when you take tequila,
Mix it up with the fluidity of godzilla.
Add in two scoops of white
A dose of confidence and some might.

I'll tell you but it ain't pretty,
Parkinsons and seizures, all out sweaty.
That's the way Jinmi dance.
Make you go cross-eyed and end up in a trance.

So we had a few challengers step up for the throne
So i figured I would at least throw you this bone
Youre all pretty good and have some skills
But none of can produce the MC Grambler thrills

I hit everyone of you in the blink of an eye
While it takes you forever to try to come at this guy
But thats fine by me like half a dozen against one
It will make this blood bath be a lot more fun

So where to start, how about with our mason
whose threatenin to rule the world with secretive creations
More likely to just sit around and praise ancient owls
Like all of his elite Bohemian Grove pals

Whos up next, The GUT? Even he comin for me
Tell tell the truth that prospect is making me kinda horny
Because the irony of him saying I have no life
Well only if you dont count me plowing your wife

Some newb named Heisenburg steps up to the battle
Just another pretender that is nothing but chattle
Thinkin hes a tough guy named from Breaking Bad
But after I am done with you you'll need a maxi pad

Then knowledge steps up again to take a swing at me
I guess one failed attempt wasnt enough for him to see
That Im dropping ill rhymes, while hes droppin hello kitty
With your lyrics so pathetic it is more like Hello S****y

Then there is meathead, attempted rapping composer
A self adulating wannabe artistic hippy poser
Talkin bout swords and cauldrons and other excrement
Sounds like some D and D player in his moms basement

Finally there is zosimov or however you spell it
Sounds like some sort of Russian Magician felon
Probably hacked hillary and Podesta too
Then sat back and enjoyed a nice slice of Pizza to boot

For the rest of you clowns Ill get to you when i feel it
Im just bored right now with no credible opponent
Soundin off ATS MC Grambler fulfillin
Cause you know my mother f'n rhymes be the most illin

a reply to: Grambler

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: zosimov


This sad bit of nonsense (now slightly updated) was posted a couple years ago when our dearly missed pal BlupBlup asked us all to do a rap introduction. It truly frightened Networkdude.

AboveTopSecret, the site's da bomb
Mason be postin' here cause payment is on
9/11 Troofers get outta my way
The Official Story ain't goin away

Pointin' out all your logical fail
Gettin' in yo head like a verbal chemtrail
I got a knowledge vaccine I'm injectin'
'Shillin fo da NSA?' What you expectin'!

All you prayin' for an alien visitation
We got it covered. Up. Here what I'm sayin'?
Strechin' da truth ain't really lyin'
'Sundogs?!' What da f***, dats Nibiru we hidin'

Mayan 'pocalypse still gonna happen
Fan meetin' s***, start yo preppin'
Frankly you all screwed most totally
We run da establishment, bring back Hillary!

Don't judge me mother lovers.

Nice, Augusfus

a reply to: Grambler

MC Grambler? Not even that nice.
You rhyme like MC Vanilla Posh Spice.
No less than MSG could give you some flavor.
Put down that phone. Do us a favor.
Now go give a listen to some Schoolly D,
I'm Ice T in this B****, Bust a Move, Young MC!

It's not about quantity bro it's quality,
Your post quality is a non existent commodity,
It seems You got married, than you got a lobotomy,
My diligent attention to crafting pearls,
Has no need of curse words that disparage girls,
And why would your rhymes have sex,
With someone's mother no less,
You see what I mean you make a lot of noise but no sense..
Man how did you get a wife being so dense,
Drugged her and clubbed her, just a guess...

Respectfully,
~ meathead


Ps.

To quote a friend of mine
"Hell no I don't live in my mom's basement..there's spiders down there..I live up stairs on the couch, like a Real Man!"
-Sif

a reply to: zosimov

the masses have been crying out for a battle thread..
They needed the outlet ..
You built it and they came!



Thanks for the playground zozzy!



Respectfully,
~ meathead

a reply to: zosimov

Vanilla posh spice sounds like a good candle
Not the name of this lyrical master you can't handle
Your fear is showing for anyone who is observant
As I mock you with the rest in a manner that's concurrent

So you know some rappers names? Wow that's really cool
But to you theyre just some more guys that would treat you cruel
For bringing up their names mixed in with rhymes so flat
And they would ditch you like Oprah does to rolls of fat

a reply to: Mike Stivic

I have to admit I feel bad making fun of thee
Seeing as how you end all of your posts politely
I smile everytime I see you write respectfully
So just against you I will try to keep it PG

You mention my wife, and question how I got her
Just between you and me I dont think she had other offers
Of course if she was a member here
I would never have the nerve to say that in a million years

As far as quality over volume of rhymes
You act like my prolificness is some kind of crime
Its not my fault Im fast with the lyrics so dope
And each single verse is proof for rapping Im the great white hope

a reply to: Grambler

I will have to admit, your verse had me rollin with laughter!

To think you'd have the gall to call yourself an anything master!
But lyrical? Hang your head, you do the art an egregious shame,
If you put anything close to an emcee in front of your name.

I don't need rappers or anyone else for that matter to treat me well
I'm an independent woman with my own means and will to excell
So while you're calling your raps ill, they just seem a lil sick
But what more can you expect from a bill hicks who spits?

a reply to: zosimov

Oh your a dainty lady now this all makes sense
But dont think I will take it easy on you after you start to lament
Comin at me like you got some kind of game
When clearly that decisions shows your insane in the membrane

But I gotta admit you are putting in the effort
droppin hicks name was very solid even if the rest was dirt
You rap skills against mine would bring a value a little smaller
Just like in real life, your work worth 79 cents to the dollar

a reply to: Grambler

Let me make it claro,
Like desus and mero,
I have no animosity,
None, zero,
I am in this for the hee hee's and ha ha's,
I'm not burning tee pees nor calling fatwa's,
I'm just saying I'm the bees knees and you are ca ca,
Just 'cause you only spent 2 minutes on the can,
With no plan and no fan,



Don't mean you didn't stink up the room..

Respectfully,
~ meathead

a reply to: Grambler

You rap skills against mine would bring a value a little smaller Just like in real life, your work worth 79 cents to the dollar

lol,

a reply to: Grambler

A lady, maybe. But I come like Sheeva or the furies from hell.
And dainty is a word that don't describe me too well.
I may be crazy, insane, out my head, and I've questioned reality
But I feel like a pit bull with a chipmunk coming mad at me.
Are you for real with that blustering bloviating dreck?
I might as well battle imaginary monsters you're greener than Shreck.


Edit:

Lol what garbage


I got to stop.

Thanks everyone, this has been cracking me up!

Fun!



Hope to sign on tomorrow to some more lyrical massacres. It is brutal what is being done to lyrics in here

a reply to: zosimov

Hailing from England... ya probably think I'm no good
But I can surprise anybody from a U S hood
In my 40's now but was bought up on rap
However I wish I could change and go back
I smoked too much weed and clubed it hard
Wasted my talents and my memories charred
Schizophrenic now and have to live with this shxt
Among other things a cause was da spliff I lit
I'm now fighting hard to win my last battle
Not be one of the crowd in a herd full of cattle
I use my brain to ascertain the truth
Listen to Icke as he's a conspiracy sleuth
Not only him, I decypher my own thoughts
Want to take all the Banksters to the public courts
But them Judges & Lawyers are in on it too
So I'm stuck thinking what the hell can one do

Above Top Secret... we must form a revolution
Down with the one percenters is the only solution

Above Top Secret... we must form a revolution
Down with the one percenters is the only solution

Now, I just put together a gift, for all yall!!



Verse:
Blood on the snares, this trail of blood followed me here
KV unreal, I solemnly swear my sword has no cares
multi dimensional, internationally played at low frequencies
taking over minds so i'm talking to myself when yall speak to me
the bottom of the abyss isn't deep enough for me
they're all caught up in a blizz , not seeing the warnings
my life is much more fringe than the x files
electro like blanka, sonic boom like guile
sky rider with jet packs, the wackness?? you can have that!
their hopes of my skillz deminishing is something we all laugh at
my pen gets emotional and asks me to stop
these words heavy, the paper is on the phone calling the cops
the ink bleedz descriptions far from discrete
Tesla himself connected the death ray through my heartbeat
my soul is the ghost from the past
I'm the feeling of hopelesness that's close to it's death
I'm you, facing you rival times two
I'm whatever is next after ya time is through
I'm NEW, style undiscovered to mankind
man blind, I was here in plain sight the whole damn time
style so descipable even Donald Trump likes me
I challenge any one to throw their little ninja stars at me
and have their souls burn for eternity
you'd rather be hitler in a past life than write a verse for me
I'm universally known, got Marchians zoned
in several dimensions I'm the only bar spitter the greys really know
on the edge, call me mr bishop re-invented
sumerian hieroglyphics have my name mentioned
lyrically I'm all your talents put in a simple bar
I already burned this planet, so no need for any war
I stand at the ruins of earth, doomsday you´re all cruzhed
meanwhile you've been reading all this you've admitted that you're losing to Verse.