Girl Scouts warn parents about forcing kids to hug relatives for the holidays

a reply to: TinySickTears

Why, on a false pretext. If the person is a threat, why even take your child around them?

a reply to: TinySickTears

Do you at lest teach them to shake hands, hi five, or fist bump when they will no hug a person. Or just totally allow them to shun the person?

And if you don’t understand shyness is sometimes a more complex game of peek-A-boo, I feel sorry for you.

originally posted by: neutronflux

originally posted by: TinySickTears

originally posted by: neutronflux
a reply to: trollz

If a kid doesn’t like touching a pencil, then they shouldn’t be made to do their homework?

yeah cause thats the same as having some uncle you dont even know or barely know come in for the big squeeze
hahahahahah


some people dont like physical contact. that includes kids
social graces lol

So that person is taught to be shunned?

no. i didnt say that
not getting a hug does not mean they were shunned

originally posted by: neutronflux
a reply to: TinySickTears

Why, on a false pretext. If the person is a threat, why even take your child around them?

i really am having a hard time following your invented situations and such.
who said threat?
not me

originally posted by: neutronflux
a reply to: TinySickTears

Do you at lest teach them to shake hands, hi five, or fist bump when they will no hug a person. Or just totally allow them to shun the person?

And if you don’t understand shyness is sometimes a more complex game of peek-A-boo, I feel sorry for you.

no, no, and no
again with the shunning...not getting a hug does not mean they were shunned
now we are talking about shyness??

what is your deal?

i and many others have mentioned not forcing their kids to hug a person if they are uncomfortable with it.
then you come in talking about shyness, being shunned, and people that are threats




who cares about your feeling about personal contact little johnny 6 year old. there are social graces we need to keep up with now go hug uncle david before i beat your ass
better?

a reply to: Nyiah

What in Carl Sagan's cosmos is going on here?

When granny hugs you maybe-i might be taking a stab in the dark here-might be showing love and gratitude? there is stranger danger and there is having the tin foil hat on too tight.

It's a sad pitiful world when you don't want to hug an elderly family member, the way I see it you can tell your kids 'you wouldn't be getting your birthday presents if it wasn't for nanna.'

So, what about kids who are scared and untrusting of people, and just, unknowingly, need that physical contact to understand people love them?

Thanks to personal things when I was younger, no, not AugustusMasonicus' basement (846 bricks, by the way), I didn't like to be hugged or get close to anyone. Not because I was inappropriately touched, but because of mental/psychological abuse from my father.

I refused hugs and contact from everyone; mum, immediately family, relatives, etc. Eventually my mum just forced me to hug her and, not too dissimilar to the Matt Damon/Robin Williams, 'Good Will Hunting' scene, I broke down and let it happen because I didnt trust people. I didnt believe anyone would/could like me,etc. Blah blah blah, sob sob, etc.

Point is, sometimes kids don't know they are resenting affection because of internal trauma and misbelief.

Also, I'm not saying to wander up to someone's child in the playground and forcibly embrace them. That just never works out, no matter how many times the courts tell me.

originally posted by: Thecakeisalie
a reply to: Nyiah

What in Carl Sagan's cosmos is going on here?

When granny hugs you maybe-i might be taking a stab in the dark here-might be showing love and gratitude?

for sure.
100%
people have feelings and some people are not comfortable making physical contact. for whatever reason

but hey

kids feelings dont matter. wouldnt want those adults who know how to handle their feelings and emotions have to deal with the horror or a small child not wanting to hug them.
cant have that

all the best hugs are the kind that are forced anyway right?

a reply to: TinySickTears

So if they will not hug, what do you do to teach them about social interaction. Do you just let them hide? Again, do you at least lead them into a handshake, a hi five, or a fist bump.

The hypocrisy of the, if my child doesn’t want to be touched crowd. So you never held a child against their will for vaccinations, doctor examinations, stop them from running into traffic because they don’t understand the danger? What kind of imprint is that placing in your child’s brain?


But you let a child fear because somebody that you should trust wants a hug? And your treat that as assault?

originally posted by: neutronflux

So if they will not hug, what do you do to teach them about social interaction. Do you just let hide? Again, do you at least lead them into a handshake, a hi five, or a fist bump.


But you let a child fear because somebody that you should trust wants a hug? And your treat that as assault?

i dont teach much besides be respectful and fair. thats about it.
i dont buy into the social graces crap.

i manage to go through about 90% of my days without hugs, handshakes and fist bumps so it has not been an issue to the point where i feel i need to teach my daughter about all these physical interactions.

i never said i treated any of it like assault.
i never said anything about fearing someone you are supposed to trust.

why are you running off like that?

playing in traffic and holding an infant down for a shot is not the same thing and you know it
not liking/wanting physical contact does not mean you are afraid of it
being uncomfortable with something does not mean you are afraid of it

keep trying though

a reply to: TinySickTears

And all shyness is not real. Many times it’s just a game. How many times has your child acted like something is the worst thing ever, and one gesture instantly sends them into genuine laughter. The pouting was an act.

It’s not easy being a parent. You need to have the discernment to know who your child is safe around. But you need the discernment for when your child’s emotions are real, or faked for some alternative motive. When they are real, seek a sensible solution.

a reply to: TinySickTears

If the Girl Scouts see what should be teaching kids to hug when it’s safe and acceptable as a enabler to assault, then what is holding a kid against their will for doctor visits, testing, and vaccinations teaching them.

Somethings are totally void of common sense............


Again, if your child doesn’t want to hug, do you teach them to engage in a less personal interaction?

originally posted by: neutronflux


Again, if your child doesn’t want to hug, do you teach them to engage in a less personal interaction?

nope.
a 'what up' from a few feet away works fine.
thats how i roll

nothing wrong with physical contact but it is not always warranted.

we all have to come to terms with the fact that we are all right and we are all wrong. this is all about how we feel and we are not wrong for our feeling.

its what makes us us. you are not wrong for how you feel but i could not imagine feeling that way. same goes for you towards me.

it just seems like such a strange concept to me to force your child to hug a person if they do not want to. at the same time wanting that hug is a strange concept to me too.
when i see my nephews after not seeing them for a long ass time or on a holiday i dont want a hug. i dont need a hug. i dont expect a hug and honestly the sooner i can get away from them the better. the less they talk to me the better. the further away from me they are the better. dealing with them is a small nightmare but to be fair its the same for most people.

i have been pressured into going to my step fathers birthday tomorrow. my nephews will be there. one of my brothers who i have not seen in more than a year and has since been married.
i am not looking forward to it.
i will be hugging not a single person

you think that is the most bizarre # ever huh?

thats the great thing about it.
how you feel about what i do dont matter. it dont mean anything and it has no merit.
same for how i feel about what you do.

right?

a reply to: TinySickTears

I find it odd you would rather rant than face that the Girl Scouts stance is totally void of common sense and extreme. They don’t even care enough to provide a guide to how to promote sensible contact for socially awkward children.

You will not answer questions directed at you. If your going to create false arguments, and ignore answering direct questions, you have no interest in honest debate. So I will stop providing you a means for your empty ranting void of intellectual honesty. I learned individuals like you care more about creating false narratives in a vain attempt to control the argument. In sort, You will keep posting pointless rants that are a waste of time to provide rebuttals to. Good luck finding the next sucker.

originally posted by: neutronflux
a reply to: TinySickTears

I find it odd you would rather rant than face that the Girl Scouts stance is totally void of common sense and extreme. They don’t even care enough to provide a guide to how to promote sensible contact for socially awkward children.

You will not answer questions directed at you. If your going to create false arguments, and ignore answering direct questions, you have no interest in honest debate. So I will stop providing you a means for your empty ranting void of intellectual honesty. I learned individuals like you care more about creating false narratives in a vain attempt to control the argument. In sort, You will keep posting pointless rants that are a waste of time to provide rebuttals to. Good luck finding the next sucker.

ok.
we must be existing in different planes or something because i am not ranting i am posting and i have answered all your stupid #.
see ya

originally posted by: Lynzer
I think about this in terms of my 4 yr old grand-daughter. Four year olds can be fickle people and moody. Sometimes she very affectionate towards me, like today at Thanksgiving, she came and gave me all kinds of hugs, and wanted to sit next to me to eat and we played hide and seek. But on Halloween, she was moody. I asked if I could have a hug and kiss goodby when she left my house. She said no. So I respected her and just told her I loved her and said goodby. I want her to know she has a voice in saying when someone can hug and kiss her. Letting me hug or not hug is not a reflection of manners. She says Please and Thank you. But this is about her personal space. Children are not objects. They are people whose feelings should be considered.

I want her to learn she has a voice in saying who can touch her. We cannot expect children to feel like they have let people touch them, but then to have the skills and courage to tell someone NO. I think that's confusing.

I agree with you 100% BTW, but do kids grow up today better than of yesteryear before every parent became an arm chair child psychologist? I know everyone is triggered at this point in time with the whole sex assault/inappropriate acts focus, so that a side, do people see kids today handling the big cruel world better than in the past?

I for one don't, and though as I said I agree if a kid doesn't want to kiss old grandma then don't try to force them, but it seems we have entered a time when the kids rule and parents just let them drive the bus so to speak on their up bringing as the parents don't want to damage these fragile little flowers, participation trophy scenario is an example of that. This article goes down that path where parents are already following and not leading the development of their children and then the Girl Scouts come along to suggest don't push, I think parent already don't push....ever...

originally posted by: neutronflux
a reply to: TinySickTears

If the Girl Scouts see what should be teaching kids to hug when it’s safe and acceptable as a enabler to assault, then what is holding a kid against their will for doctor visits, testing, and vaccinations teaching them.

This is a terrible comparison. Doctor visits and vaccinations will make them healthier and could even save their lives, thus they are a necessary inconvenience. Hugging some old relative you don't see very often has nothing to do with your health.

originally posted by: kaylaluv
Hugging some old relative you don't see very often has nothing to do with your health.

My Uncle said he would kick my ass if I didn't hug him which has the possibility of impairing my constitution.

Id say are you fn kidding me - but it's liberal pos america doing what it does best, terminating connections and replacing them with iphones and access to isis beheading videos and alt porn

originally posted by: kaylaluv
This is a terrible comparison. Doctor visits and vaccinations will make them healthier and could even save their lives, thus they are a necessary inconvenience. Hugging some old relative you don't see very often has nothing to do with your health.

hug the guy injecting you with dead viruses and chemical toxins and shun the people that led to your creation....yes, sometimes I still think it should be illegal for women to vote.