Softball with AugustusMasonicus: Season II

So what do you do when you scheduled guests go MIA? Well, you take a look at the members list, cross reference it with the police blotter and then throw a dart. Which is how we ended up with this month’s interview. Quality not guaranteed.

Our next guest is another tough chick who likes to sneak up and smack you all upside the head with knowledge knuckle/palms while lulling you into a false sense of security with her 'Aliens!' kitteh avatar. Please welcome Nyiah who graciously bailed out yours truly.

AM: How does it make you feel to know you’re the third choice for this month?

NY: Third time's the charm! At least I was somewhere on the guest list, and not up for the Congeniality Award. That's backhanded code for "You're . . . something. I guess."

AM: What do you have against Giorgio Tsoukalos that you would deface him in that manner?

NY: It's that suspiciously charismatic personality and seductive wild hair. That's not natural, man, that's not natural. That's some CIA-level sex appeal psy-op manipulation right there, and I'm on to it.

AM: #Metoo movement; real deal, whiny prima donnas or somewhere in the middle?

NY: A collective of mostly angry virgins, spinsters and crazy exes going whole hog with a lot of very empty one-way-street virtue signalling drowning out real victims.

Come to think of it, it may be it's own psy-op to somehow throw us off the Tsoukalos sex appeal psyop.

AM: Complete the following two sentences:

Donald Trump is so…

NY: Orange & round. I hear the Eagles (what's left of them since Frey kicked it) got back together and are working on a song modeled on "Desperado", called "Desperate Cheeto".

AM: Hillary Clinton reminds me of…

NY: Ursula, the Sea Witch. Tell me that smile isn't uncanny. (Interviewer's notes-holy eff)





AM: What brought you to ATS and why have you stayed?

NY:I was researching binaural beats, one of the search returns was for a thread on ATS. I read the thread, followed some of the posted links around, came back and poked around the site some. I decided it was just unhinged enough around here to be half entertaining, half educational, so I joined.

It has definitely changed on here over the years by a lot, I think I stay mostly because I'm a closet masochist.

AM: As a mom, what’s the best way to not raise a bunch of marys?

NY: As a mom of girls, I presume? In my very honest opinion, permit no gender pedestals or gender excuses, and they need to have humor. It applies to whatever you're raising anyway -- girls, boys, self-identified Superman-unicorn-hex bug, etc.

They know using "But I'm a girl" excuses or demands gets them absolutely nothing, not even from me. Using their gender as a mode of manipulation will only get them extra chores they hate (such as scrubbing out the garbage bin when it gets gaggy nasty in summer) in the end.

And they know a little gender self-deprecation won't ruin their lives, either. My rough & tumble tomboy is the make-up & fashion obsessed, bug & worm-adverse of the two, and my pink and lace girly-girl is the bug & worm adoring, fossil & rock collecting junior paleontologist of the two.

They both poke fun at each other's respective applicable stereotypes and have some pretty hearty belly laughs over it, they're no worse for wear. If anything, they're more mellow and relaxed than their friends who's parents forbid that kind of thing because it's "mean" (and they do exist, the sorry fragile excuses for mommies and daddies...)

Contrary to what the marys raising more marys would say, even hard science says self-deprecating humor/lighthearted self-criticism leads to a more mentally sound person. I aim to have mentally Herculean children, ha.


 

AM: Who wears the pants in your family; you, your husband or neither of you wear pants?

NY: We go about it modified, half-traditionally, I suppose. I (mostly) wear the home front pants, my husband wears the breadwinner/work pants. Sometimes we wear no pants at all, but that's TV-MA stuff.

Hubs puts the hours in at work, therefore it's his money to decide how to spend after bills are paid. And that's at my opinion and insistence, I didn't earn any of it, so I have no say in how the leftover is spent.
He still occasionally insists otherwise based on how I haven't accidentally burned the house down yet, or duct taped the kids to the ceiling, or sold the pets to a Chinese restaurant, but I still win the argument every time -- it's his name on the paycheck, not mine. Therefore, not my money.

This has been a point of contention with a few of my more hard-leaning self-proclaimed feminist friends over the years because I see it as his money rather than "ours", but let's be honest here. Putting yourself in charge of someone else's income, either all up front & at once or slowly over time, is just a load of controlling, manipulative BS. The most involved I get is in getting the bills paid on time, and filing taxes. He claims he hates handling finances, but I think those are his way of making me be at least a little involved in his moolah.

The one thing we do not disagree on regarding pants is the kitchen. It's his domain, not mine. He's been trying to teach me how to cook palatable food for over 13 years, and nothing sticks. I think he's given up, finally. He's a great cook with fine dining kitchen experience, and he enjoys the hell out of it, so the meals that are a bit more labor-intensive than my standard "thaw, toss in oven & cross fingers" go-to's when he's at work are always done by him quite willingly on his days off.

The majority of the grocery shopping is also his domain, since he, uh, actually knows what goes together and how to cook it. I hate to admit this because it's carnivore sacrilege, but I actually managed to eff up sirloin earlier this week. I aimed for medium-rare, ended up with overly well. Outside slow-roasting on a low temp in the oven, I can never hit the proper level of done I aim for, it's either rare as s#, or well done as hell.

In matters of house cleaning/maintenance, and property maintenance, that's my s#, hands off. Even the lawnmower, that's MY baby.

AM: Okay, Softball time now. Favorite film?

NY: Favorite film is definitely Stargate. That's an absolute sci-fi classic and I love it. And 2 of the 3 series is spawned (one much more than the other).

AM: Your favorite TV programs?

NY: TV shows I could binge to death are Futurama, all the Star Treks except The Animated & Original series, Stargate: SG1, Farscape and a show the Sci-Fi channel got a lot of hate & backlash over cancelling years ago -- Sanctuary. He or she who frequents the Crypto forum might want to give it a watch, if they haven't already.

AM: When you're not on ATS, what are you doing?

NY: Hobbies are crocheting (making a queen-size blanket right now for next winter) and gaming, though I tend to stick to just one at a time and don't game-hop much. I primarily play Warframe right now -- for those who do play it, I main Nezha like a boss, and my secondary is Ivara. Can't set off alarms in spy missions with the Infiltrate 'frame mod equipped' *taps temple*.

I occasionally still play a little Star Trek: Online, but not remotely as much as I used to. Warframe is just enough of an immersive timesuck that I'd rather play that than STO.

And I still gallivant around Skyrim, but I think I've done most of the community add-ons for more exploring & storylines, I haven't stumbled across anything NEW new in quite a while now.

AM: Favorite food substances...

NY: ...is beer it's own food yet? I like a good, stout Guinness, or when it's in season (like right now) Oberon. In lieu of either of those, I'll pilfer my husband's Atwaters (Vanilla Java Porter or Dirty Blonde)

If I have to consider solid foods only, then my major weakness is a Hawaiian pizza with jalapenos, or habaneros if our pizza place has them on hand.

Also, fried chicken. And a good old fashioned juicy burger fresh off the grill. The kids say my husband's burgers are better then Five Guys, and their burgers are pretty damn good. I can't say I disagree with them here.

AM: If ATS suddenly disappeared the website you would ruin next?

NY: Singular? As in just one? Oh dude, come on, I'd ruin them all, plus comment sections in articles.

AM: Dumbest conspiracy theory threads you still find yourself posting in?

NY: To be fair, each category has it's gems and steaming piles. The hokiest ones, in my opinion, are the Mars rocks pareidolia threads. If you have to outline & shade/color what you think you see to bring it to a barely visible level, it's probably a little more "Just You" than you think.

But like I said, there's always a nice, shiny gem with the piles. The The Mars Crab Stone thread is a one of those gleaming gems.

AM: If you could travel back in time and view one event what would it be and why?

NY: Oooh, tough choice. I'm honestly torn between the Tunguska event, and Carrington event. Both were of mammoth proportions for their respective categories, and are really hard to imagine at that level of Universe Epicness. I'm not sure which of them I'd pick.



Nyiah is a Florida raised transplant now living in Michigan who enjoys stubbornly lounging in her hammock year-round until snow buries it or she gets frostbite, whichever comes first. She likes to game with her husband, and both enjoy trying to out smack-talk each other even when teamed up. When she's not gaming or hogging the hammock, she's usually trying to resist stealing her husband's beers when hers run out.

Did that feel half baked? A little rushed? Well that’s because it was. But we still learned some very interesting things today about a member who is rather sane and obviously doesn't belong on this website. Yet, here they are, being normal and reminding all of us that we aren't.

Nyiah, thanks for helping out today, I would have interviewed my Catahoula, but she ran away from me and I was even holding a pork chop, so it was you. But it turns out you're my kind of dude, I'd even share my beer with you. Your parting gift today is a 3rd place trophy with your name spelled wrong on the plaque. Until next time.

Another excellent one, you two.
It's thrilling to discover Roseanne is actually HERE with us on ATS.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus


Nyiah's a girl?

And she can't make sandwiches?

Somethings not right here.

To be honest...I was hoping for the hermaphrodite.

a reply to: IAMTAT


I was busy baking a turkey.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: IAMTAT


I was busy baking a turkey.

Are you done with my baster yet?

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: IAMTAT


I was busy baking a turkey.

Are you done with my baster yet?

Uhhh, gonna have to buy you another one.


Sorry.

Nyiah was a great choice! 3rd is the new 1st anyway.

TAT, you don't want that baster back.

originally posted by: FauxMulder
Nyiah was a great choice! 3rd is the new 1st anyway.

TAT, you don't want that baster back.

Probably not.
...Reminds me of a funny story about a lost turkey baster...and the day my son was delivered.

I've named the baster, Jeffery.

We're buying a timeshare together in Vale.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
Nyiah's a girl?

And she can't make sandwiches?

Somethings not right here.

I have to admit, I'm confused by the whole thing.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
I've named the baster, Jeffery.

We're buying a timeshare together in Vale.

This will be here for you when you need it.

Time Share Exit Team

even hard science says self-deprecating humor/lighthearted self-criticism leads to a more mentally sound person. I aim to have mentally Herculean children, ha.

Self deprecation is my language! And my kids ought to be learning it well!

Great interview, rushed or not!

I have to say, I’m jealous of those with husbands who take over kitchen duty.... I love cooking, but I get overwhelmed sometimes.

I lol’ed!

One of the best interviews yet imo, bravo!

originally posted by: geezlouise
I lol’ed!

One of the best interviews yet imo, bravo!

I still think DB's was my second favorite one.

Awesome interview!

Nyiah, are you sure you're not me? That description of how your household runs sounds suspiciously similar ...

Egads ... new conspiracy ... husband doesn't actually work, he's been living a double life.

originally posted by: IAMTAT
Another excellent one, you two.
It's thrilling to discover Roseanne is actually HERE with us on ATS.

What's hilarious is that I do sometimes call my husband Dan. If anyone wants to know what his personality is like, it's Dan Connor with a dash of extra sarcasm. That ol' show resonates quite strongly, their dynamic on-screen is very much us

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus
Nyiah's a girl?

And she can't make sandwiches?

Somethings not right here.

Nah, sammies I can make, those are easy. Just never mind that powdery stuff in it, it's only extra "flavor". I promise

originally posted by: ketsuko
Nyiah, are you sure you're not me? That description of how your household runs sounds suspiciously similar ...

Egads ... new conspiracy ... husband doesn't actually work, he's been living a double life.

Lmao, now if only I could teach him to do the laundry. It's not the label instructions that trip him up, it's the infinite buttons & choice options on the washer & dryer that do.

a reply to: Nyiah

Stop! Mine is hopeless with the laundry unless I get him set up and leave explicit instructions. The last time he "helped" me without my setup, he shrank one of my sweaters an entire size!

It's OK though; I actually don't mind doing the laundry.