a reply to:
muzzleflash
Wow, that is incredible timing.
There's a "god" (its impossible to define, therefore the quotations. The word god is just a placeholder for "that thing we don't understand but we
know its there and feel its presence indirectly").
He/it cares about you.
All this crap your going through is preparing you for a purpose.
But, knowing "god", that purpose might be as simple as a pun. It might not be some great "i sure showed them all!" moment. Or whatever you're thinking
of. But, it will make sense, and it will bring you peace. This, I believe.
I too have had an odd sort of relationship with my grandmother, where she has given me strength... Well, since i never met my father, and my mother
died over 15 years ago, I think she knew I was kind of lost and lonely... She has been there for me, not really in any other way other than kind words
and support, but that was just what I needed. Sure, there were times it would have been great to have a family member give me some money, or a place
to stay, or let me use a vehicle or something, but, i didn't need that help. And now, all these years later, I'm glad I didn't ask and they didn't
offer.
Sure, with tons of love and support and understanding and patience, I maybe couldve made something more of myself... But thats what parents are for.
My parents failed at that, and now I don't have parents. If my family had picked up the slack, I would owe them something.
What little I have, what progress ive made educationally, spiritually etc, I owe none of it to anybody. Except of course the fact I couldn't learn
much of anything without a planet full of life to interact with, including humans especially. But, I didn't receive much Direct assistance, and what I
did receive was mostly from kind strangers or people I barely knew or was not related to (All humans are related but i mean relations you are familiar
to), and of course, some government assistance.
Hang in there buddy! You'll see.