I Just Realized I Was Completely Wrong...

a reply to: muzzleflash

For old times sake:

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a reply to: muzzleflash
I don't post very often. I am an avid reader and I have read many of your threads in the past. I couldn't help but respond to this thread as I have been where you are and have come out the other side.

For me it started in my early 20s and it was nothing short of brutal! I did much of what you explained in your OP...and I too felt the absence of love. That emptiness was one of the most difficult things the bear. Perhaps it is the perceived absence of love that opens us to what I have come to believe is the truth...that we are never alone and that we are forever loved. It comes in many ways and often it arrives when you least expect it.

Remember: Only when the vessel is empty can it be filled. It took me a very long time to get this, but once I did, things, while still very challenging, became easier. Hang in there..the journey is painful, but it is worth it.

Your true Father loves you and has great plans for you.

People who are happy and content with satans rule will like this world. THIS world is not important. These bodies are temporary what we do is what is important.

Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life is not from the Father but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.

(1 John 2:15-17

If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me first. 19 If you were of the world, it would love you as its own. Instead, the world hates you, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.…

John 15:18

John 12:25: “He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal.”

a reply to: muzzleflash

Hey Muzzle.

I'm glad you had this experience and that you had the courage to post it!

Thank you.

I've had a similar experience before and over the last few years it's been too easy to forget. So thanks again for reminding me!

a reply to: infolurker

That's always the iconic avvy I remember in my head when 'muzzleflash' comes to mind!

Oh my God!
I have been a reader of this site for many years. I come to this site every night. I very rarely post anything.
I cannot believe that I am reading this post.

I am 48. I realized tonight that I began fighting this fight 16 years ago and that over the past 16 years my spirit has been slowly dying. I have been just going through the motions of life. Fighting as you have to not become the things that I despised. Refusing to give in to the BS that most everyone buys into. So much so that I actually began to question the reality of this world. It is getting to the point that everything going on has become so incredulous, that this cannot be real. Its like some terrible, terrible ongoing movie plots that try to out a$$h_le the last one. How can there be this much hatred? How can people be such sheep? They don't have any clue at all that they are being led to the slaughter. I have never quite understood that.

My Spirit has been in a limbo for the last 10 months. The last few weeks I was done! I gave up on everything including myself as well. I was right there at the edge of the Abyss with you. Done! But tonight I felt something change. My spirit has awakened. Not really sure what did it. But you posting this and me reading it, is no coincidence. It is part of a bigger plan. I feel as if a thousand pound weight has been lifted off of me. One that has been there for decades. It just feels different. Don't know if you feel that as well it just seems different this time. Maybe we are all waking up to Gods plan.

I can't thank you enough for having the courage to post this. I hope that things work out for the best for you.

Thank you again!





a reply to: muzzleflash

a reply to: muzzleflash

if your aunt and grandma had been tied up in their own mind with self pity they would not have thought to reach out to you, they saved you by thinking about you, while you were only thinking of yourself.

return the favor, not just to them but to everyone, if we all focused outward on each other more, we would receive the love we so desire, you get what you give. be the change you want to see in the world.

you want to see more love in the world, be that change by showing more love, after all if you cant do it how can you expect others too.

society has become on an individual level far more narcissistic then it has ever been, so many people focusing their love inwardly is what has lead us all to feel so unloved. we dont spread the love anymore, we hoard it and redirect it back to ourselves. which does us no good in times of strife.

a reply to: infolurker

I had nearly forgot about that.
Thanks for reminding me.

I'm actually surprised people responded to my post.

Thank you everyone.

a reply to: yanks528

I really didn't expect a response like yours.

That's actually kinda mind blowing.

a reply to: muzzleflash

I do, YOU are one of the ones who make sense..
Knock it OFF troop.

You have experienced God's direct intervention with YOU! Out of all the people there are in the world, he took that moment to show you he knows you and cares. Experiencing this myself more than once. I still don't enjoy the rough ride that life on Earth is, but it's bearable knowing who has my back.He welcomes everyone

originally posted by: muzzleflash
But God caught me.
How's that even possible??

It's not. There is no God. It's just that you were wandering around being such a whiny little mope that your family, including your grandmother and aunt couldn't help but notice, so they gave you a call. BIG MYSTERY!

So you were wrong twice.

originally posted by: Blue Shift

originally posted by: muzzleflash
But God caught me.
How's that even possible??

It's not. There is no God. It's just that you were wandering around being such a whiny little mope that your family, including your grandmother and aunt couldn't help but notice, so they gave you a call. BIG MYSTERY!

So you were wrong twice.

You must feel lonely sometimes.
There must be a reason so many feel this way.
My son told me of an officer in the army who is so realistic and down to earth and yet had an experience of an angel who saves his life, this caused my son to believe as he could in no way believe this Man he knew well was telling him anything but the truth.
Many people have experienced things they know in their heart is from God.

89% of Americans say they believe in God

www.gallup.com...

a reply to: muzzleflash

You gotta understand, I only know suffering.
I can't find Justice anywhere. I outwit everyone yet still can't find it.
I always win yet lose every time. I try so hard.
Yet never get anywhere...

I used to sit up on a hill alone and believe I was experiencing solitude, times I'd be the most sentimental towards my fellow man, I sat there for a long time, and then I realized the isolation I was in and I had to forge new friendships.

Winning or losing is an illusion, what's real is being present for others when they need you the most.
What we send out into the universe will return to us...bad karma or good.

Make sure to return the love they send to you...

a reply to: loveguy

I spend so much time thinking about stuff like that.

Is Karma real? Do I really get what I put out?
Am I just so blind I cannot see it?

I have this habit of questioning myself and even anticipating that I'm probably wrong so looking into that possibility. When I see that I'm wrong I try to face that and own up to it, because I believe that being honest with myself and admitting my mistakes is a virtue worthy of genuine pride. That's because it's never easy, it's a real challenge to actively look into the chance one's own self is wrong and then atone for it and make amends with others.

I am convinced that I put out Love more than anything else for decades. I'm not perfect, I've made a lot of mistakes, I've gotten angry and bitter and said mean things to others. But I really honestly believe that I've put out Love towards others far more than anything else.

I just haven't seen that sentiment really return in any lasting meaningful way.

I'm not saying I don't believe in Karma, I'm curious and want to really know the physics of the Universe. I want to understand how all of this works. And I really truly hope Karma is a legitimate philosophical explanation of personal spiritual dynamics.

Maybe I'm still too young and I'm still incapable of recognizing it as it works around me? Maybe I'm blinded by my expectations and my selfish demands from the Universe? I hope so, because Karma (or just Spiritual Justice) sounds so wonderful and I really want that to be real. I could really work with that.

But I do admit, I'm not seeing it (yet).

I also gotta admit I am impatient. I may seem more patient than just about anyone around, but I still see incredible limitations to my patience.

It's like no matter how much I learn and how far I might progress, I'm still just a child. I'm still learning some very basic things and I struggle with them. Hoping to see Karma work, yet going day after day not seeing it, is frustrating and very disappointing and saddening.

Justice means everything to me.
And I wonder - am I really so guilty I actually deserve all this?
Maybe I am a horrible person and I just don't see it because I'm bias. It's possible.
I'm trying really hard not to be horrible though. I know I fail a lot.

a reply to: muzzleflash

Justice means everything to me. And I wonder - am I really so guilty I actually deserve all this?

This life and this time are not when justice is reached. Read Jesus words in Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John and see how you feel about what he teaches there.

Real spiritual experiences are hard to explain to others, but when you have one, you just KNOW it!

originally posted by: muzzleflash
You gotta understand, I only know suffering.
I can't find Justice anywhere. I outwit everyone yet still can't find it.
I always win yet lose every time. I try so hard.
Yet never get anywhere...

If the other doesn't know you outwitted him it doesn't count. We all fight, we are not there yet and none of us have all the answers, let it be the good fight and according to some basic rules just as in any fight, nothing below the belt, don't hit a man while he's down. Most of all God doesn't fight, I believe every Christian should choose God or try to understand God is greater than any man and always will be and submit to good. Anyone can have a dictionary, make sense of it and rearrange words, it's that unseen dimension that determines whether or not those words are uplifting.