Well. That's that.

a reply to: alphabetaone

So you're saying adultery is, or can be, justified?

Sorry to hear that you were betrayed by someone you love.

My good friend just caught his wife doing the same thing over the summer.

What does she do to say sorry? She emptied out their joint accounts and moved out. ~$heopleNation

originally posted by: Rubicon3
a reply to: alphabetaone

So you're saying adultery is, or can be, justified?

I'm sure to some people it can be justified, but that has nothing to do with what I posted.

My post was simply to say that when you only have one persons view of what is actually happening, of course youre going to believe that they are the victim lacking any other commentary especially if that is the way they are portraying the events as they see them.

Oh, and also, if he is paying using his own credit card and if it is INDEED for a business trip then surely he will be reimbursed by his company. Ask him in a week or so to show you proof of his reimbursement and then you will know he was telling the truth.

Boy you read a lot into that!! Not knowing my gender, im quite offended! Im but a snowflake you bruit!a reply to: YouSir

originally posted by: Rubicon3
a reply to: ksiezyc

IF her husband HAS shacked up with another female for the time frame she mentioned, then YES, she is indeed a victim. She's victimized by another woman's unforgivable play for her husband through deliberate, uncaring choice, as well as being victimized by her husband for putting her through the pure agony she's obviously in...something I can easily relate to.

Why hate my own gender? Because I see women as supposedly being better than setting out to deliberately destroy another woman's marriage just because she wants that woman's husband. That's bad enough, but when there are children involved...it's absolutely criminal and speaks volumes about that female. THAT kind of disrespect from one of my own gender is unfathomable, unforgivable, and comes from the lowest of the low. Yes, alot of the fault is with men too. But, honesty, I can ALMOST feel sorry for men because they're made weak, blind and stupid by their own mindless testosterone. A fact that these kind of females see coming from a mile away and easily capitalize on. Though eons ago that kind of drive was needed when men HAD to fight for their place as an Alpha male to be strong, fearless, protective of what was his, as well as propagate...but, that's pretty much not the case today. For a man to allow himself to be sucked (apt description) into some POS female's little game, abandon the family he happily helped build is unforgivable and yet easily avoidable. If a man, or woman, sees a certain situation developing they need to put priorities in perspective. In other words, they have one of two simple choices...walk away from it for the sake of their family, or go with it for the sake of their d**k and VERY possibly destroy the people they walk away from. Either choice screams the character of the people involved and chisels it in stone. To me, thinking he could wallow around "in the moment" that darkened and dirtied my family's doorstep and get away with it was beyond belief. I was all but totally destroyed. However, I'm pleased to say that later on Karma raised it's ugly little head and delt him the EXACT hand he gave me. THAT spoke even louder and more clearly about the low, uncaring and heartlessness of the POS female who condemned me to an agonisingly long emotional death. I freely admit I wasn't strong enough to overcome those feelings, let alone forgive. I never will, even though he's dead and gone from my thoughts. That "thing", on the other hand is finally out of my conscious thoughts now, but nonetheless will be despised till the day I die.... What's NOT to hate? Those types bring shame, pain and disgust onto the heads of the entire female gender. Sometimes I can see and almost understand why there's so much evil and abuse heaped onto our heads...as we see with muslims and how an entire culture, or gender can be condemned by the actions of some because we know the shadow of the guilty blankets ALL with the POSSIBILITY that betrayal by a (case in point) fellow woman could happen at any time....

What an absolute crock.

The one to always be held responsible is the cheating partner. THEY are the ones who made a vow to be true to you, not whoever they decided to step out with on you. When i have been cheated in in the past, i get rid of my partner and don't look back, holding her, and her only solely to blame. THEY decided to cheat, and unless it was rape, they could have said 'no'.

But you think men have no choice, right? Our testosterone and d$@ks rule us, right? Therefore we have no free will and blindly jump into bed with anyone that will have us. Puhleese. You comments make me sick, talking of us men like we are no better than rutting pigs. Give your head a shake.

And justifying muslims treatment of women because someone cheated on you, or once upon a time, hundreds of years ago a Muslim woman cheated on her husband? Dear lord you are an angry, hateful woman!

a reply to: alphabetaone

Regardless, IF her husband did involve himself with another woman it was adultery...no two ways about it. I'll give you the fact that both sides aren't known, so there's the possibility of many scenarios, good, bad or indifferent. Adultery is the epitome of stupidity...if a person is so bored or whatever in a marriage they shouldn't be in that kind of relationship. People are either led or pushed into adultery, unless they're smarter than average and walk away when the possibility first presents itself. And it's difficult if not impossible for me to think anyone is so naïve as to not see potential developments coming at them...unless the spouse is THAT good at hiding things. But to get tripped up by a credit card charge is like putting a notice on front page news! They WANT to be found out. And again, all that is purely dependent on what the TRUTH of the matter is.

From emotional to legal standpoints it stands to reason that the smart thing would be to get out of a relationship BEFORE becoming involved with someone else. At least that way SOME problems are avoided, not the pain of drawing a split out, but at least it provides a more level playing field with open groundwork for proceeding one way or another. Kind of like ripping off a bandaid that's become stuck to a wound...there'll be bleeding, but at least cleaning it up will facilitate healing much more quickly.

As it stands, I have MAJOR empathy with her. Whether she wants to continue letting us know how things are working out is yet to be known. I kind of hope she does, and at least she knows there are those on here who understand and are offering up support. Sometimes a simple ear can be such a healing gesture because being able to draw strength from the wisdom of any quarter in this kind of situation is a God send and, I'm sure, deeply appreciated.

originally posted by: Rubicon3
People are either led or pushed into adultery, unless they're smarter than average and walk away when the possibility first presents itself.

Bull.

People have minds, and can think for themselves. If they commit adultery, it's because they made concious decision to do so.

originally posted by: Rubicon3

As it stands, I have MAJOR empathy with her. Whether she wants to continue letting us know how things are working out is yet to be known. I kind of hope she does, and at least she knows there are those on here who understand and are offering up support. Sometimes a simple ear can be such a healing gesture because being able to draw strength from the wisdom of any quarter in this kind of situation is a God send and, I'm sure, deeply appreciated.

I have empathy with her too. I can put myself in her shoes and feel what she feels.

What I do not have, until all the cards are on the table is sympathy. I wont be sympathetic to a cause without knowing there is actually a cause to be sympathetic about. One could say it's none of my business, but she made it everyone's business when she decided to post in a public venue. Privacy just went out the window.

Also, the OP started off with a great deal of rash assumptions without any qualifying data to back up the assertions she was making, hence my initial post of incredulity on her seeming non-desire to obtain all the facts before jumping into a "now I'm going to be single, oh woe is me" mentality.

People are either led or pushed into adultery, unless they're smarter than average and walk away when the possibility first presents itself. And it's difficult if not impossible for me to think anyone is so naïve as to not see potential developments coming at them...unless the spouse is THAT good at hiding things.

It seems you may have some anger...well let me maybe take the opposite side and say no, you're wrong. What I would like you to do is partake in an experiment - it wont hurt - and simply find as many youtube videos as you can detailing Social Justice Warrior Feminists, and watch them with an open mind. After having done so, process the things they've said about men in general then please come back and tell me that the only way adultery is taking place is either by being pushed into it or led into it.

DO NOT call yourself an idiot, you trusted him, and he betrayed that along with your love.

originally posted by: greenfox86
DO NOT call yourself an idiot, you trusted him, and he betrayed that along with your love.

Here's another one....


So you know he betrayed her do you?

Judge.
Jury.
Executioner.

Can you send along the video, in what is sure to be your next response, showing that he actually did that so we know you had all the inside details?

Frankly, there is nothing but silence here from the OP.

Perhaps she has thought better of her initial post, or found additional information.

Maybe we should wait to see what she has to say.

a reply to: Missmissie173

Pretty clear whats going on here.

Source - formerly unfaithful man

originally posted by: Rubicon3
a reply to: alphabetaone

So you're saying adultery is, or can be, justified?

i would argue that often there are much deeper reasons someone is unfaithful. Like a miserable relationship and the feeling of being trapped, by children or family of circumstance even.

It may not be justifiable, but it certainly can be understandable

a reply to: nightbringr

Wowie...you have that knee jerk, self righteous indignation thing down pat, huh?

So, to that end.... Only men who ALLOW their hormones to govern them are cases in point. And my contention is that men, more than women, are APT to let their testosterone do the talking to/for them. Like you said though...the word "NO" is ALWAYS available to be used, whether to themselves or to their potential partner in crime. Which leads to exactly whose shoulders the blame rests on...it takes two to tango, and the other person is JUST as guilty for making themselves available for an affair because THEY have the option to say "no" to pursuing a hormonally induced emotional path as well. And guess what? If you actually think about it, if it weren't for someone willingly presenting themselves as a participant...there would be no adultery! Imagine that!

As to your last statement...geez, a tad bit dense there. My analogy represented how ALL muslims are proclaimed guilty, bad, evil because of acts of terrorism committed by a certain percentage of their people, just as there are many who blame ALL women for acts of betrayal done by a certain percentage of them.

There now. Understand? Placated? Eh, probably not....

a reply to: BeReasonable

Understandable? No. Only in that there are EXCUSES. Understandable is when if THAT miserable, THAT trapped...an end is called, not endured for the supposed sake of all involved. Now THAT, is understandable. Reducing ones life to that of faux "saintly" martyrdom is about as smart and pointless as the ole "...going down the with the ship" logic. I guess that's one definition of someone as a blatant masochist, and in some cases an attention seeking sado-masochist. No thanks.

P.S. Being "pushed" and/or being "led" can often be the same thing. The difference is when and IF the word "no" is used. "No, I won't allow myself to be "pushed," when in my misery, I know where it can "lead." The end result is the same. Semantics, I guess.

originally posted by: Rubicon3
a reply to: BeReasonable

Understandable? No. Only in that there are EXCUSES. Understandable is when if THAT miserable, THAT trapped...an end is called, not endured for the supposed sake of all involved. Now THAT, is understandable. Reducing ones life to that of faux "saintly" martyrdom is about as smart and pointless as the ole "...going down the with the ship" logic. I guess that's one definition of someone as a blatant masochist, and in some cases an attention seeking sado-masochist. No thanks.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I doubt most people feel the need to be on guard 100% of the time the way it seems you feel the need to be.

Life is too short to live it by robotic rules. When one does, they tend to expire alone and miserable.

Also, you appear to be attempting to shed humanity from its natural state, you want rules and convention for love and emotion. Just listen to what you're saying. I'm going to go out on another limb and wager there has been a time when this argument has reared its head in your life: "Why cant you be more romantic and spontaneous?!?!" ... Rules and convention are almost the exact antithesis of romantic and spontaneous.

You don't need to answer me, just be honest with yourself.

a reply to: Bluesma

I am totally flabbergasted by the OP. For Petes sake, give the guy a call and share your worries with him. He probably will laugh out loud and explain that the hotel did not have any single rooms left so he had to take a double bed room. Has happened to me frequently.

On a sidenote: I really find it strange that

• you never seem to have contact with the guy during business trips, we're smack in the middle of the Facebook, WhatsApp, E-mail and Snapchat era.. and if that's too fancy for ya, grab a plain old telephone and call the hotel. And
  
• why it hasn't occured to you that it is rather improbable that a cheating husband allows a hotel to send a confirmation to YOU..
  

You're all up in arms and jumping to conclusions for no particular reason. Give the guy a call, "Hi honey, how you're doing over there?" and
just ask.

originally posted by: Rubicon3
a reply to: nightbringr

Wowie...you have that knee jerk, self righteous indignation thing down pat, huh?

So, to that end.... Only men who ALLOW their hormones to govern them are cases in point. And my contention is that men, more than women, are APT to let their testosterone do the talking to/for them. Like you said though...the word "NO" is ALWAYS available to be used, whether to themselves or to their potential partner in crime. Which leads to exactly whose shoulders the blame rests on...it takes two to tango, and the other person is JUST as guilty for making themselves available for an affair because THEY have the option to say "no" to pursuing a hormonally induced emotional path as well. And guess what? If you actually think about it, if it weren't for someone willingly presenting themselves as a participant...there would be no adultery! Imagine that!

The third party owes you nothing, particularly if they are unknown to you. Your partner however, swore a vow to love, protect and stay true. How you think blame is equally shared between the two baffles me. It doesn't matter if the most beautiful woman in the world come on to him, knowing full well he is married, it is ultimately his, and his decision only to cheat. She isn't cheating as she is not married to you. HUGE difference.

originally posted by: Rubicon3
As to your last statement...geez, a tad bit dense there. My analogy represented how ALL muslims are proclaimed guilty, bad, evil because of acts of terrorism committed by a certain percentage of their people, just as there are many who blame ALL women for acts of betrayal done by a certain percentage of them.

And you were saying you hate you own gender because of what few are capable of. Is that not why you used the analogy in the first place?

Life is full of temptation. We need to trust our loved ones to reject it and honor their duty to us.

I used to work in a job where I had to go away a lot.

The company were so tight they made us share rooms - 2 men in one room.

Most unpleasant, especially the big hairy snoring farting idiot I had to share with.

Could be as simple as that, or a hotel mistake.