Well. That's that.

IM sorry to hear that! you are a great soul that much I can tell. hugs from me.a reply to: Bluesma

At the moment, does the "It's better to have loved and lost" adage stand up?

Genuinely curious. I'll likely never have a serious committed relationship myself and want to gauge if it's a lucky break on my end

That aside my condolences for what little they're worth.

a reply to: Bluesma

If it as you believe (my first clue was also credit receipts) that came for Reno when he was working in So Ca and for roses. Don't be surprised if you start digging and find there have been many like I found by checking old phone bills and calling unknown numbers, I spoke to many Women some knew of his wife some didn't it was hell!

I went through what is very much like losing a loved on in death but in some ways it is even more difficult. It took me 5 years to get ok. I still have not regained the ability to completely trust never to be the same. I feel for you.

a reply to: Bluesma

Are you meeting at the same hotel? Could he have simply registered for two knowing you'll be joining him Wednesday? Or, was the hotel folio closed out for the first four-night stay, and he's moving to another hotel?

If same hotel, my guess is that he simply registered for two, knowing you'd be joining him later in the week.

Hoping for the best.

a reply to: Bluesma


Maybe the situation is not quite as you imagine unless you have other suspicions. From what you said, he booked for two for four nights. Okay. If his business pays for that maybe he was expecting you to spend two of those nights with him on the company dime.

However, I'm a bit confused why were your two plans not more clear? You tell us that, you can bunk with friends on the trip now that it seems that he is entertaining someone else. Where had you planned on staying, surely with him if as you say, you were going to spend some time with him?

ETA: I see that others have already discussed exactly what I said above.

Is your husband really stupid enough to pay for the room with a credit card he knows you would be able to see the transactions to? Is it possible he told the hotel you were joining him in a few days and they misunderstood him and charged for two adults right away?

I know what it's like to be suspicious, believe me. But at the same time, I have learned to rule out all other possibilities first before coming to any conclusions.

Good luck to you. It hurts big time having been betrayed by someone who supposedly loved you. Hopefully it's not the case in this instance.

Something comes to mind for me.
You must have had suspicions of this sort of things or you would have talked to him when you found the hotel confirmation.

I have never understood how someone could cheat.
To me that shows no respect for a partner. If people are unhappy, just say so and get out.
This has always baffled me, but I guess I'm different.

At least it can lead it some closure, sorry for the emotional turmoil you must be experiencing.

a reply to: Bluesma

As someone who does travel a lot I would just check to see if he had to do this because if you have two guests you need to let the property know and booking for one guest for two nights and then two guests for two more nights would require two separate reservations and may have caused him to have to change rooms.

I hope it is something really stupid liked this.

The way you put it OP..I think he booked the hotel knowing your going to meet him on Wednesday and he wanted to make it a treat, spa, swimming pool, nice meal etc, just happened that the person from the hotel phoned you and confirmed the booking, they didn't phone someone else did they?

Not defending him if he is cheating, just make sure your not getting mad over something that maybe ment for you and not some other girl..

Phone and ask him about the hotel booking, he can't lie cause the hotel phoned you.

I wouldn't react too much (easier said than done) until you know for certain what is happening. There are a lot of possibilities ... billing error, a work colleague, etc.

That you jump to the idea he is cheating - and divorce - is significant. In fact, that could be even more significant to your marriage than this surprise hotel bill. I imagine there could be a history of distrust and unhappiness in the marriage - I sure am not privy. But your response to this situation is most telling and most predictive of the outcome.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope there can be a peaceful resolution for all involved.

a reply to: Bluesma

You know, it seems to me you should be taking your own advice, from some of your threads that go back almost a year and maybe more.

From your thread here, you said:

The pressure to conform 100%, to not analyze, criticize, or come to your own conclusions on issues seems so frigging irrational !

Found at this Link

Which, to me, unless you are keeping some of the specifics hidden (intentionally or otherwise) seems as though you are doing ALL of that, without employing the benefits that some of those items imply. analyzing. criticizing, drawing conclusions (if based upon fact) and you probably should be.

And this thread, where you said:

I can say whatever I want about my husband, good or bad, but I cannot completely deny my complicity in whatever behavior he carries out. Same goes for him. Even if I am not directly evolved in an event, I was intimately involved in the formation of the kind of man he is and his reactions and perceptions of the world. Same for his involvement with me.

Found at this Link

If all you believe is true, can you deny your own words? Were you complicit?

a reply to: Bluesma

Honey, age is no boundary.....time to enjoy life.....if you can uproot and travel then do so.....time to explore this world!!!

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: Bluesma

As someone who does travel a lot I would just check to see if he had to do this because if you have two guests you need to let the property know and booking for one guest for two nights and then two guests for two more nights would require two separate reservations and may have caused him to have to change rooms.

I hope it is something really stupid liked this.

This is what I was suggesting could be a possibility...and I truly hope it's just a misunderstanding.

However,...IF this situation actually does lead towards divorce...I would advise you to be cautious about what you post on social media about this.
Divorce attorneys have been known to explore and exploit it.

a reply to: Bluesma

I'm sorry.

Take him for everything.

Then go back and take more.

a reply to: IAMTAT

Yeah, I had to do this for a reservation for next April, I am in for work for two days but the boss is flying out to meet me for the last two. I had to list both of us for the entire stay.

I hope that it's just a simple booking error or what Augustus was talking about. If not, just know it's not you're fault. You're not a stupid waste. You will get through this.

a reply to: Bluesma
Since they called you to confirm, why don't you call back and ask the front desk to put the reservation in your name, so only your ID can get them in?

Oh......that wicked seed of doubt. Needs no water, needs no sunlight, needs nothing but an active imagination in which cause's it to flourish & bring fourth a stanky old flower called infidelity. Make damn sure it is what you think, before you make an arse out of yourself & let your other half know just how insecure you really are.

a reply to: Bluesma

So sorry to here. You seem like a genuine good person through and through and surely don't deserve what you claim.

I hope there is a misunderstanding but if your intuitions are right then stay strong. Better to know now than later if it is any consolation.