I've lost my daughter.

a reply to: randomtangentsrme

So true random.

I was the same and so was her mother. For me I joined the services at 15! So I had direction. For her mother I was her childhood sweetheart so here we are.

I'm now am semi retired and her mother works near full time.

I can only wish for my daughter and her brothers and sisters the same.

kind regards,

bally

a reply to: bally001

If she is living in a drug dealer's house, then call the cops and have them arrested. It would be better that she spend some time in jail than on the streets. Maybe she can learn from it.

a reply to: BELIEVERpriest

Good advice,

I would mate but we've been cut from contact. Presently, and sorry as I am her father, I have no idea where she is.

Although my heart is in a panic I don't want the cops wasting their time knocking down doors without some physical proof. Come another 12 hours, if I have no word then I'll list her as missing.

Just recently she posted an instagram pic of her and a girlfriend at goodness knows where. So I know she is okay.

Feeling a bit better.

bally

a reply to: visitedbythem

I went through a wilderness program followed by a lockdown boarding school. Still, it took me until I was 30 before I started to get my head screwed on right. I now have a 5 year old and I'm really trying to fly right, so I can handle it if and when my daughter hits hard years the way I did.

a reply to: bally001

Youre welcome sir....but legally...you still can report a drug house...if she's in it...report it.

God Bless.....MS

a reply to: KansasGirl

Hi Kansas Lady,

I appreciate your honesty. Thank you for you open post. This is not unexpected. My daughter was born in the Tanami desert and subsequently went through a ceremony. Her aboriginal name is Yumingali'. (we are not aboriginal) According to the legend she is the princess of the 'Warlpiri' tribe and is entitled to a place anywhere in central Australia.

During the ceremony, which was documented, she was passed through smoke from one aboriginal lady elder to another in the various clans - nakamarra, nungala and so on. She is a nampijimpa and her mother is married to a Jampijimpa who, although older than me, (hard to comprehend) is my son. I am a Jungala and my daughter's mother is a Nungarai. Well that is important to her heritage in aboriginal sense.

Of all our children this daughter is the only one taken into the desert and put through this 'smoking' ceremony.

I am sad that I permitted this even though it was insisted at the time for cultural reasons. My wife was there. Men were not permitted.

I hesitate to say that all this may have been an influence and in the long term I feel my daughter has suffered. I will be in touch with her aboriginal grandparents to see if they can assist in fixing the situation. I will try all avenues.

Thank you for you reply,

bally

a reply to: bally001
I take it your Australian since you said 16 is the legal age, and that she at one point wanted to be in RAN which I take for being the Royal Australian Navy. Don't know how things work there down under, but in general I consider 16 yrs old unfit to judge a baggle eating competition, maybe not even 18 yrs or even 30.

But anyways, case in point, intelligence is something that is not well defined and may or may not mean a bunch of things. However having a chemical dependency does and will change the whole makeup of the brain and body, that is certain, don't matter how smart you are if everything you do and think will be dependent on that. Its what drugs like coc aine and meth do, its what they were designed to do in some cases, all the smartness and willpower and hope in the world wont mean jack if every cell in your body and brain is defected and leaning toward that dependency.

When you sleep there are chemicals which make it so, when you get old other chemicals make it so, the human body is but one giant chemical warehouse, not unlike a machine which moves and does everything on cue. You introduce other chemicals into that equation, your going to have problems, and something like meth and coc aine will do that.

Basically your daughter could be the incarnation of Einstein, Aristotle, Nikola Tesla, and Bill Nye the science guy. And it still wont mean squat because what the body does the mind follows, Its nature, its biology, something your daughter knows very little about if she is going all bonkers over drugs as you say. There is a reason why drugs are such an easy thing to sell. You only need to get a few free samples and they practically sell themselves. A easy business model to follow for any entrepreneur, something even a simpleton can understand.

You may not be able to hold her against her will, but even in Australia I am sure you can cause more then a little humdrum for the house were she is living in. Cops now a days have nothing better to do, may as well take it to court or the law of the land and scurry up that little chicken coop. Or at least unless meth and coc aine are legal drugs to disperse in Australia. They may be I don't know.

Anyways in the end I think you are right. Unless they come to there own senses, there is nothing anybody can say or do that will make them come around. In the end it may be best to let them learn on there own. Or at least the second or third best option, probably just making # up and getting legal custody of her by law and putting her up in some nowhere vile and ponying up the cash for keeping her there till she comes around may have been the first and better option.

But even then, cant change peoples minds or ways by talk or force, in the end no matter what you do. They have to experience it on there own, and they have to be the ones to come around to it on there own, and realize it for themselves, anything else is just kind of treading water, and spitting against the wind, in fact either and which ever way even the best of options its treading water. Its going to be slow going that's for sure.

a reply to: bally001


Oh my god, that is heartbreaking

a reply to: mysterioustranger

I will Stranger, no worries. I'll get my sh#t together first and present them with a breach load of evidence.

bally

a reply to: Mousygretchen

Thank you, all this communication has made it better. Heartbreak and now feeling stolid.

bally.

a reply to: galadofwarthethird

Words of wisdom mate. Your deductions are sound.

We can only do so much without stepping over the line. I am cautious for my family's sake. I will do the right thing.

bally

a reply to: MiddleInitial

Best wishes you. I feel from your experience in life your daughter will have a sound upbringing and as you say you are prepared.

Great post mate.

bally

a reply to: MiddleInitial

It doesnt have to happen that way.

We went through a rough divorce, and My daughter chose to be with me. Her mother punished her, and rejected her for along time. Thats what hurt my daughter most. She seems ok, and has a long time boyfriend since highschool, but hasnt had any kids

a reply to: bally001

Best wishes your way, too. I was sad to read your OP on Thanksgiving Day, and I hope that your daughter comes back home.

a reply to: bally001

Jeez mate sorry to hear about this . First of all your daughter wont talk to you so reporting her missing is a good thing . Last thing people like this want is the police turning up on their doorstep looking for someone . I had this happen at the place i am currently living in ( share-house ) and they made it clear they were coming in without saying as much . As for further action i can only revert back to my country upbringing where things like this were handled without the polices help but more often than not with their knowledge . Different times i guess . I come from that time and sadly my only advice will most likely involve ummm violence . But i guess it would be hardly my fault (or yours ) if one of the males of the house accidentally fell down nine times while out alone . Now i am not advocating this but as i remember a policeman telling me once . Get your stories straight first . Remember family is everything .

a reply to: bally001

You're an awful poet Bally.

Have you tried contacting Child Safety Services and seeking a Child Protection Order? She's under 18 and it's a reasonable route to take. Contact Youth Justice Services and report the house and your daughter. It's probably a known house and, if it isn't, they'll appreciate the intelligence. They might advise you call the police. There are houses like this dotted across suburbia and many are on police radar. There's always a tipping point when they get raided. The outcome of that is usually jail terms and youngsters/infants being taken into care.

At this point, you can 'join up' the agencies by contacting each in turn and getting your daughter's name on their radars. Someone will come out to see you and take notes. You could have a social worker assigned to her (key worker, family worker etc). Some SWs are garbage, but it's a serious time and unavoidable. There are more half-decent ones than the garbage.

None of this is guaranteed to rescue her or turn her into someone who no longer enjoys drugs. What it'll do is give you the feeling of doing something that matters. You always come over as a steady bloke and not given to drama. Stay calm if you contact these agencies. Some of them don't have great people skills! Be assertive and ask to speak to someone else if you feel fobbed off. Keep your voice clear and calm and be civil no matter what they say.

This is up to you - if possible, don't be angry with her. Hide it if you are. Parental anger (even justified) works like magic to keep alienated teens from seeing sense or doing what's right.

Good luck and all the best

a reply to: bally001

Find where she's at.

Wait for her to go out. Burn the dwelling place.

If only it were that simple. My advice, would be to shop the people who are dealing the drugs. Make a call to the police anonymously, and alert them to the fact that there are hard drugs and other controlled items on the premises. The place getting raided will either see your daughter caught up in the raid and arrested (which might do her some good if she's gone totally off the rails) or will deny her access to the location, forcing her to reevaluate her position where housing is concnerned.

hope things turn around soon for u amigo .

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a reply to: visitedbythem

Happy for you mate if you are happy;

Going through daughter rejection ourselves.

Something I guess in her life is more exciting than being with family.

thanks,

bally